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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26215060">Strawberry Letter 23</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/llamaduck/pseuds/llamaduck'>llamaduck</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harley Quinn (Cartoon 2019), Harley Quinn (Comics), Poison Ivy (Comics)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, Friends to Lovers, I use commas like sprinkles, I'm not good at writing slow burn, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, It's just not very good, It's slowish, Not Beta Read, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Slow Burn, Then Cute Again, They write letters, don't read if you expect a sympathetic joker, drop those mofos everywhere, harley's bad at plant care, if you're looking for smut, it doesn't earn its E rating until deep in, it's cute, ivy's a crazy plant lady, kind of, letter au that no one asked for, then it gets heavy, to be clear there is smut, you should probably look somewhere else cause I'm no good at writing it anyway</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 09:14:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>95,002</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26215060</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/llamaduck/pseuds/llamaduck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Random alternate (timeline? universe? Idk) where Ivy and Harley meet for the first time by becoming pen-pals. As their friendship grows so do their feelings for one another, will the two stop being useless bisexuals and get together? (Spoiler: they're super useless... like really... it takes a while, 'cause they're dumb)</p>
<p>Or: Harley finds a plant, immediately becomes attached, can't keep it alive, decides the only one who can help her is the infamous poison ivy, they write letters, it's cute.</p>
<p>Also past abuse mentions, it gets heavy, I hated writing it, it hurt my heart. I'll put trigger warnings on the chapters so you can avoid them if you want. </p>
<p><strike>I've written 15 of the planned 20 chapters... but I have no self control so Idk there might be like 90 chapters. jk... I hope.</strike> There's 23, turns out I have just a smidge of self control. </p>
<p>Characterizations based somewhat on the Harley Quinn TV show, and a little bit on comic books, but mostly on my own head cannon, sorry not sorry.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harley Quinn/Poison Ivy, Harlivy, Pamela Isley &amp; Harleen Quinzel, Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>261</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>474</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Plant Care 101</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger Warning: Brief mentions of past abuse, it's light in this chapter. Cannon-typical violence.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">Plant Care 101</span>
</p>
<p>“Hey little fella, what’re ya doin’ here?” Harley peered down at the sad looking flower sitting by the dumpster. “Someone throw ya out? That’s awful rotten of ‘em, don’tcha worry Harley will take care of ya.” Harley flung the garbage bag she was carrying unceremoniously on the ground and carefully cradled the small flower pot in her arms.  “You’re lookin’ a little worse for wear there bub, that’s okay, I know how it feels.” Harley continued to speak softly to the plant as she made her way back up to her apartment. “I wonder what typa flower you are anyway, you’re awful pretty, even if you are a lil sick.” Harley rested the little plant by the small window in her apartment. “Well anyway, all flowers love sun don’t they?” Harley went to water the flower and marveled at how quickly the plant seemed to soak up the water. “Wow, you ain’t been fed in a while huh? That’s a shame, a person oughta take care of somethin’ as pretty as you.”</p>
<p>Harley sat and watched the little flower for a moment, worrying her lower lip between her teeth. The soil now moist from when she watered it, was flecked with tiny bits of white, out of which shot several stems, most of which were brown. There was only one flower left on the browning plant, a defiantly bright purple color with its head hung low seeming almost sad, heartbroken. Harley supposed that was just the way of things, beautiful things were always the hardest to take care of and when people realized they weren’t worth the trouble they withered and browned. Harley’s gaze shifted down to her wrists her own blue marks and purple marks would brown then soon after they’d fade and it would be time to go back. She smiled ruefully. “We’re a sad pair, you and I, ain’t we? Both left out on the street with no one to help ‘em… well who needs ‘em? We got each other don’t we?” She jutted her chin out, too prideful to let the tears welling in her eyes fall in front of her new friend. “Well there’s no use mopin’ around, might as well make the best outta a bad situation.”</p>
<p>With that Harley shot up from her seat, shifting around the shoebox sized apartment, gathering up different items. “Lucky for you I’m real good at sprucin’ things up.” Harley got to work, cutting, coloring, pasting and drawing out things on the outside of Iggy’s (that’s what she’d decided his name would be) pot. “Ya see me, I prefer red and black, but I think a little purple and red’ll work for ya. My puddin’ loves purple, looks awful good in it too. He’s a lil mad at me right now, on account of I messed up somethin’ fierce. I don’t like when Mr. J is mad, he looks much betta with a smile on his face, but I always seem to make him mad. Can’t help it. He says it’s cause I ain’t got no sense, but I got sense, it’s just my sense don’t make sense with his sense, an’ well it gets me in trouble. Puddin’ says I’m more trouble than I’m worth, so he kicked me out. I know it’s just cause he loves me, he wants me to toughen up, he knows when I’m out here on my own I get betta at takin’ care of myself. He’s real smart my Puddin’, real smart.” She added the final touches to the flower pot before smiling brightly at the plant.</p>
<p>“You’re lookin’ real snazzy there Ig!” Harley watched happily as the sky cast orange hues over Iggy, she’d always loved this time of day. Just before sunset, when everything looked just a little bit softer, a little bit warmer. She’d always thought there was just a little bit of hope and sadness in the air at this time, the mixture settled in her stomach and made her ache with longing. For what, she didn’t know, it was always out of her grasp whatever it was. She shook herself out of her stupor and stood up. “Well I betta head out, Mama’s gotta go shoppin’, don’t wait up Ig!” She laughed to herself as she grabbed the bat out of the corner of the room, it wasn’t the mallet that she was used to, that stayed with Mr. J, but it worked just fine anyway.</p>
<p>Harley watched the last bits of twilight fade from the sky leaning against the wrought iron fence of Robinson Park. Most people steered clear of here, which made sense considering the deadly goddess that resided inside. Harley liked it though, the smell of the park air was much nicer than the rest of Gotham, Harley supposed it had a lot to do with the thriving vegetation. Plants made oxygen right? So the air must be fresher somehow in there, Harley wanted to venture in the park itself, but she didn’t dare. She might’ve maybe, if her Puddin’ was with her, but after Ivy went and got herself killed by the Bats and somehow came back twice as deadly, not even Puddin’ was crazy enough to mess with her.</p>
<p>Harley had never met Ivy personally, but still Harley admired the green skinned woman, she had ideals, a vision, and she stuck to it. Harley didn’t care much about green living or saving the rainforest, but she thought it must be nice to have a goal, even if the goal was boring. She had had goals, but that was about a million years ago, when she was still Dr. Harleen Quinzel, psychiatrist. She’d thought she was going to save all the troubled minds of Arkham, but just ended up being one of them. Now she had no goals, except for keeping Mr. J happy, and she wasn’t very good at that. Harley pushed off the fence when she saw a shadowed figure approach, even if she wasn’t a psychiatrist anymore, Harley knew people.</p>
<p>Every night without fail there’d be at least one of them, who saw a small girl all by herself in the most deserted part of town and couldn’t resist. Harley wondered if all cities were like this, or if Gotham was special in the amount of malicious people who lived here. “Hey little girl, you shouldn’t be out here all by yourself, you could get yourself hurt.” The man leered at Harley, his gluttonous eyes raking over her body, and Harley had to fight the grimace of disgust on her face.</p>
<p>“Oh well I sure am glad you came around Mistah. I’m awful lonely.” The man leaned closer, his tobacco stained teeth glistening under the moonlight.</p>
<p>“I’ll keep you company girly.” He reached for Harley and she jumped quickly out of the way, doing an easy flip over his shoulders even as her bruised ribs ached.</p>
<p>“Uh-uh, you ain’t supposta touch what isn’t yours Mistah.” If the man had been a bit smarter, or perhaps less preoccupied with his lecherous desires he would have realized that Harley was no ordinary girl. But as it was the man simply spun around to face Harley again, his face screwed up in an angry sneer.</p>
<p>“Stay still you little bitch!” He spat the words out as he reached for Harley again, and this time as Harley shifted her body back, her arms came up and she struck him straight under the chin with her bat. His head snapped backwards blood spurting from his mouth as he fell to the ground, knocked out.</p>
<p>“Well that ain’t no way to talk to a lady.” Harley huffed as she made quick work of emptying the man’s pockets, pulling off his jewelry and picking his hat up off the floor to plop onto her head. She hefted the man up to his feet, grunting with the effort it took to lift him. “Why they always gotta be so heavy, why can’t a skinny guy try to feel me up once in a while?” Harley mused to herself as she struggled to lift the man high enough along the fence. The unconscious man sat on her shoulders, his head leaning over the side of the fence, if anyone happened upon them right now, it surely would’ve been quite a sight, but luckily for Harley this didn’t usually take long. After only a couple of seconds Harley felt the weight lift off of her shoulders and she stepped back to watch the vines pull the man into the darkness.</p>
<p>This was another reason Harley liked to work by the park, no loose ends, Ivy’s carnivorous plants took care of that for her. Though the first time it had happened was unsettling to say the least, in her reckless shift through that particular man’s pockets she’d shoved his arm up and it landed just within the confines of the gate. Harley had watched horrified as the vines forced the man’s body through the skinny iron bars, bones cracking loudly in the night, blood spurting all over her, and the man’s screams echoing through the park as he came to just in time to meet his end. Harley had decided after that, even though it was harder and always put a kink in her back, it was better to help the vines out, at least then she didn’t have to witness that again.  It wasn’t that Harley was against violence per se, it was more that she was a blow ‘em up, smash their heads in kinda gal, she wasn’t so much into slow tortuous agonizing deaths; quick, painful, explosive, that was her style.</p>
<p>Harley stretched her back for a moment before calling out to the vines. “Hey thanks a bunch Franky! You’re always helpin’ me out! Tell your Ma I says hi!” Harley watched as Frank (the name she had given the vines many moons ago) seemed to wave at her. Harley didn’t know if the vines could actually understand her, or even knew that she existed, but she liked the idea of having a partner in crime just the same and she liked to think Frank enjoyed the treats Harley gave him.</p>
<p>When Harley finally came back to the apartment her arms were loaded down with bags, she burst into the empty apartment dropping the bags before happily skipping over to Iggy. “Hey Ig! I hope you weren’t worried, I brought ya somethin’!” Harley pulled out a green bottle from the mountain of bags she’d brought in. “The guy at the store said this stuff should perk ya right up.” Harley sprayed the liquid over Iggy, and after a few moments huffed in disappointment. “How long is this stuff supposed to take to work anyway? Well I guess we’ll wait till mornin’ and maybe I’ll take ya down to the store with me.” Harley nodded at that, satisfied with her solution.</p><hr/>
<p>“Whaddya mean you can’t save him?! You’re a plant store for god’s sakes!” Harley huffed angrily at the clearly flustered teen behind the counter.</p>
<p>“Uh… I. I’m sorry Miss, but but maybe we could give you a refund or a replacement?” Harley gasped indignantly at that.</p>
<p>“I will not just give Iggy away! What kinda monster do ya take me for?!” She scowled at the trembling youth before snatching the small pot off the counter and marching out of the store. Three plant stores and desperate attempt at a farmer’s market later and Harley sat dejectedly at a coffee shop looking at an equally sad Iggy across from her. She’d hoped the venti mocha swirl would cheer her up, but not even her favorite sugary beverage was helping her mood.</p>
<p>“I’m real sorry Ig, I don’t know how to make ya feel better. I don’t wantcha to die, but I don’t know how to help ya. I wish you could talk to me, so you could just tell me whatcha need. Yunno my grandma always had a green thumb, she can make any plant grow, I wish I woulda learned how to do that.” Harley sighed running a gentle finger over the plants delicate leaves. “I don’t got a green nothin’.” At that Harley shot up in her seat an idea blossoming in her mind. “All right Ig we’re gonna getcha some help.” Harley scooped the plant up and soon enough she found herself once again outside of Robinson Park.</p>
<p>Harley rarely saw the park in the daytime, and she had to admit that the greenery was a beautiful sight to see. She thought for a moment that perhaps Ivy was right to want to save it all, she shook the thought from her head and turned to the small plant cradled in her arms. “All right Ig, I want ya to know that I really care about ya. Don’t get no ideas that this is cause I don’t care, cause that ain’t true. It’s just she can take care of ya better’n I can and well I want ya to live buddy. I’m real sad to see ya go, you’ve been a real pal to me an’ I’m gonna miss ya lots. But don’t be scared, Ivy’s real good with plants, and she’s got tons of em’ you’ll have loads of friends in there.” Harley placed a gentle kiss on the drooping flower before placing the pot just inside the bars of the gates and stepping back quickly.</p>
<p>“Hey Frankie! I got a friend for ya, I know it ain’t a snack or nothin’ but Iggy’s a real charmer, you’ll like him loads!” Harley watched through the greenery waiting for the vines to creep up. “Aw come on Frankie don’t be like that! I promise I’ll bring ya a snack tonight. Just take care of my buddy here, he’s awful sweet.” Harley saw a flash of something red out of the corner of her eye but before she could turn her head it was gone, the vines finally came out and approached the gate slowly. “Hey Frank, were ya sleepin’?” The vines shook a little at that and Harley smiled. “Well I’m sorry to wake ya, but ya see my friend Iggy here, he’s in a bad way, I tried real hard to help him, but I ain’t no good at this stuff, and I was hopin’ you could take him to your Ma. I know she’ll fix him up real nice.” Frank seemed to hesitate for a moment before swooping down and gently cradling the pot in his embrace. Harley watched as Frank  pulled Iggy further and further into the park. “Thanks Frankie! I’ll come back to see ya tonight!”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If there are any errors please let me know in the comments so I can fix them. Proof reading is for people with much more patience and a much larger attention span than I have. </p><p>This is the first fic I've written in a long time so go easy on me, k? K cool. Also if anyone recognizes my username from a different fanfic website... 미안해요. OTL</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Plant Mutiny A.K.A Ivy Gets a Pen pal</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>No trigger warnings this chapter. (Though if you read something that you feel deserves a warning please let me know in the comments and I'll add one.)</p><p>Notes for consideration:<br/>One: Ivy's vines were originally named Vivian, I changed it because there were too many shes and hers in the story, it was all very confusing. So if you see an accidental female pronoun here and there, that's why, please let me know so I can fix it.</p><p>Two: The vines, unlike Frank the plant, cannot speak, they communicate with Ivy telepathically. The bold/italics between Ivy's dialogue are what Frank is saying to Ivy.</p><p>Three: Ivy writes letters like she's emailing an important client, or like she's writing a cover letter, it's awkward af.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">Plant Mutiny A.K.A Ivy Gets a Pen pal</span>
</p><p>
  <em>Dear Doc,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I know ya don’t like people much, an’ I’m real sorry if I’m puttin’ ya out, but ya see my lil’ buddy Iggy here needs some help. I found the little guy all sick an’ I tried real hard to fix him up, but I don’t got a green thumb like you do. Heh, a green thumb, get it? Heh, anyways, the people at the plant stores all said he was a goner, but I don’t believe ‘em, ya see Iggy here’s a fighter, a real tough cookie an’ I think with a lil TLC he’ll be just fine. I was hopin’ you’d take care of him for me, I’d really appreciate it, Iggy’s a good friend. I’ll miss the lil’ guy, but I figure if there was anyone who could save him it’d be you. I heard you can talk to plants, is that true? Well if it is, can ya tell him that I’m awful sorry I couldn’t help him and that I’ll miss him loads? I’ll be real lonely without him, maybe I’ll go back down to that plant store and get another friend, they had a buncha them that they ain’t treatin’ real nice, they need some love I think. Maybe I could help ‘em better than I helped poor lil Iggy, ya think I could? I hope so. Anyway, thanks again for your help, couldja let me know if he’s okay? If it’s not too much trouble… Oh and can ya tell Frank that I appreciate all his help too, he’s a real peach that one! </em>
</p><p>
  <em>XOXO – HQ</em>
</p><p>Ivy looked up from the letter in her hands to the timid chrysanthemum in front of her raising an eyebrow at the plant. She’d of course tended to the plants needs and it was much stronger and healthier already, but she scowled at the plant nonetheless. “You want me to write her back?” She asked incredulously. The timid purple flower drooped lower and Ivy’s vines poked harshly into her back. Ivy rolled her eyes and turned to the vines. “Seriously? You too?!” The vines shoved a pen at her in response. “Why in god’s name would I write her back?” Soon enough both plants started listing reason after reason as to why the small blonde woman deserved a response. “Okay! Enough! I’ll do it!”</p><p>Ivy tapped the pen impatiently on her desk, she couldn’t believe that she was being bullied into wasting her time by her own plants. The absurdity of the situation was not lost on the redhead, she spent her time in dedication to her plants, in trying to make them more resilient and keep them safe, and now they wanted her to waste that time on a human. It made no sense. Though Ivy had to begrudgingly admit that this mysterious blonde woman had helped her out, with her feeding Frank (a name that Ivy was forced to use on the vines because now they didn’t respond to anything else) Ivy didn’t have to waste time finding food for her carnivorous plants. She huffed and scribbled out a simple message. She went to hand it to Frank and was rebuffed.</p><p>“What? I said thank you, what else do you want me to write?” <strong><em>Tell her to bring me more fat guys, I like fat guys, they’re juicy.</em></strong> Ivy rolled her eyes.</p><p>“I will not tell her that you prefer more portly prey.” <strong><em>Why the hell not?</em></strong></p><p>“Because it’s rude. She’s feeding you, you shouldn’t criticize her choices.” <strong><em>Ha! I’m rude?! Look who’s calling the kettle black. You’re rude! </em></strong></p><p>“What do you mean I’m rude? How?” <strong><em>How about because she’s been feeding me on and off for the past year and you still haven’t introduced yourself to her? You should introduce yourself to her, she’s nice.</em></strong>  </p><p>“I absolutely will not introduce myself to her! She’s your friend and the only reason I’m writing this is because your penmanship is atrocious.” <strong><em>Fuck you Ivy, you try writing without thumbs!</em></strong></p><p>With several more moments of niggling from her plants Ivy sighed and read the woman’s letter again, figuring it would be easier to give a proper response than to argue with her plants.</p><p>
  <em>Dear HQ,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You’re right that I prefer my plants to human company, nevertheless I appreciate your concern for the chrysanthemum. I have tended to him and he’s doing much better, he’ll live. The plant stores in Gotham are barbaric, if you tell me which among them had the poorly treated plants I will liberate them myself. As for your ability to rear plants yourself, well I don’t know if you can, but Iggy and Frank are very fond of you just the same, so I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to try- but if it becomes too much, you can give them to me, and I’ll take care of them for you. You are also right that I can communicate with plants, but I needn’t relay any messages from you as the plants can understand you just fine. They would both like to say thank you for your kindness… and I too am grateful for your kindness. Many people are not as caring to plants as you seem to be, it’s a rare quality to have. I appreciate it greatly. You’ve done me a great service by feeding Frank as often as you do, and he is grateful for it as well. He’d like me to tell you that he’s sorry if he frightened you that first night, it wasn’t his intention. He’d also like me to tell you than you needn’t lift the men off the ground, he can reach down for them and lift them over the fence if you tell him when you want him to. Iggy would like to say that even though he knew you only briefly he’ll miss you greatly and that he’s thankful to you for rescuing him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Regards,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dr. Pamela Isley</em>
</p><hr/><p>Ivy nearly jumped a mile when a shopping cart was plopped down in front of her. She looked accusingly at her vines before taking in the sight before her. The cart was filled to the brim with plants in various stages of health, on the top another envelope with her name written in pink loopy letters. She sighed. “The blonde woman?” She questioned, even though she already knew the answer. When the vines indicated the affirmative Ivy smiled despite herself. “All right well help me unload these poor plants.” After several hours of sorting and caring for her newly gifted plants Ivy sat back down at her desk in a tired huff, intending to resume her work before Frank pushed against her back insistently. “What?” The vines simply gestured at the unopened envelope. Ivy didn’t bother arguing as she knew that she wouldn’t win, especially not with a whole new troop of plants singing the blonde woman’s praises.</p><p>
  <em>Hey Doc!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m real glad ya responded to me. To be honest, I didn’t think ya would, but thanks! I didn’t know your name was Pamela, I knew you were a doctor, but I didn’t know your real name, sorry about that. I been calling you Ivy in my head. Do ya prefer Ivy or Pam? I kinda like ‘em both. I’m so happy that Iggy is feelin’ better, I was real worried about the lil’ fella, would ya tell him I said hi and that I miss him somethin’ fierce? Thanks for lettin’ me know that the plants can understand me, I been havin’ some conversations with Frank, it’s nice havin’ someone to talk to. Would ya ask him if I annoy him by talkin’ too much? Sometimes I annoy people cause I talk too much. Anyway, I got ya some more plants, I wasn’t intendin’ to but-well I gotta tell ya Pammy you were right about them plant stores bein’ barbaric. Ya see I was real encouraged by your letter, when ya said that the plants liked me (thanks for sayin’ that by the way, it made me feel real good.) so I went into that store, the one with the mistreated plants. An’ I sees this guy, the manager I think, stackin’ up sick plants in a cart, an’ I says to myself well he must be here to fix ‘em. So I go over real nice and start makin’ conversation, figure I could get some pointers on how ta help sick plants. An’ he tells me that he wasn’t gonna heal ‘em at all! He says he’s gonna throw ‘em away, so I says to him, well let me take ‘em. An’ you know what he says Ive? He says he’s gotta destroy ‘em, company policy or somethin’ like that, the lil shit was gonna throw bleach on the poor babies! Can ya believe it?! Anyways I couldn’t let him do that, so I knocked him out loaded the cart with as many plants as I could an’ hightailed it outta there. I’m hidin’ behind the back gate of the park right now writin’ this, gotta lay low, you’d be surprised how many people will chase ya for stealin’ plants. Anyways if you’re lookin’ to liberate more of ‘em the store is the Plant Emporium, but I wouldn’t do it right away if I was you, cause I think they’re probably gonna have extra security on account of what I did. Sorry bout that. I didn’t have time to name all the plants neither, there was too many of ‘em, but I called them the branchy bunch, heh, ya get it? Anyway, do ya know of any plant places that ain’t barbaric? I really do wanna get another pal, but if I’m payin’ for it I don’t wanna do it in a store that’s mistreatin’ their plants, even if it ain’t my money I’m payin’ with. Alright well the heat’s off so I guess I betta skedaddle. Thanks again for your help Pam-a-lamb!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>XOXO – HQ</em>
</p><p>
  <em>P.S. I hope ya don’t mind me hangin’ around your park, I really like it around here, I hope I don’t bug ya too much. </em>
</p><p>Ivy felt her mood shift from annoyance, to amusement, to fury, to reluctant fondness and back again over the course of the letter and she sat back in her chair exhausted from the rollercoaster of emotions. Plants never made her cascade from one emotion to the next so quickly. Her head hurt from the dizzying effect of it all, it had been a while since she’d interacted with any human, well other than to kill, threaten or maim. This was entirely different and Ivy wasn’t sure if she cared for it.</p><p>Even when she was human herself she’d never been any good at socializing, preferring to hole up in her lab or in her garden. But now, after she’d died twice, each time coming back less human and more plant, it all seemed so far away. She could barely remember her human life, sure if she’d tried she could pull up a memory, but it was like pulling an ancient tome out of the back corner of a dusty library. It was there, she could access it, but it felt so far away from her that it didn’t even seem like her own memory. Emotions were harder for her now too, they exhausted her, and she had to struggle to identify them, and then to think what she should do with them. What was the appropriate response to fondness? For plants it was always the same, no matter her emotion, water, feed, tend to, repeat. She rested a hand over her fluttering heart and looked over to the vine hovering by her desk.</p><p>“She’s quite a lot isn’t she?” <em><strong>She’s better than most.</strong></em> Ivy conceded that point.</p><p>“Well yes it would seem that way wouldn’t it?” <strong><em>She’s kind… and she’s lonely.</em></strong> Ivy grimaced.</p><p>“I suppose you’d like me to write her back again wouldn’t you?” Frank made no move to respond, instead simply dropping a pen into her hand. “Does she annoy you when she talks to you?” <strong><em>No more than you do.</em></strong></p><p>Ivy glared at the plant who didn’t seem in the least bit concerned by her venomous stare. <strong><em>Look she’s kind, and for some reason she’s not intimidated by you, besides, you need a human friend.</em></strong></p><p>“I hate humans all they do is hurt you.” <strong><em>Not this one.</em></strong> The vine pushed the pen into Ivy’s hand more insistently. <strong><em>This one is worth the effort.</em></strong> And that was how Poison Ivy, surrounded by mutinous plants got a human pen pal.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Harley Quinn’s Unrelentin’ Charm</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger Warning: Verbal abuse, some intimidation, brief mentions of past abuse. It all happens at the end of the chapter and if you feel uncomfortable reading it I've put two double lines and a line of '+++' above it so you know where to stop. Check end notes for any valuable information you may have missed.</p><p>Also as always if you find a mistake please let me know in the comments so I can fix it. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">Harley Quinn’s Unrelentin’ Charm</span>
</p><p>
  <em>Dear HQ,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>First and foremost I’d like to thank you for rescuing those plants. It hurts me to know that they would have been disposed of in such a cruel way, but it doesn’t surprise me. Most people show no empathy towards nature. I in turn show no empathy towards man, humans are horrid creatures and it shames me that I was once among them. I despise you less than I despise the others though. So thank you again for your efforts, you needn’t worry about Plant Emporium I will be visiting their CEO very shortly to inform them of my opinions on their plant destroying policies. Most people call me Poison Ivy, Pamela is a name from another lifetime. I use it mostly because of the title attached to it, it helps me further my research. Though I suppose it doesn’t matter which you’d like to use. Both or either is fine. The branchy bunch are all doing well as is Iggy. He says hello and that he misses you as well. If you’d like once he’s healthy enough I could have Frank return him to you, since you said you’d like another friend. To be quite honest I don’t think there is a plant store that I’d describe as ethical and you’re right to not want to support them. Perhaps if you want I could give you one of my own, I have a new batch of fern seedlings that are quite sturdy, they don’t flower though, I know most humans prefer flowers to other plants. Frank would like me to inform you that he enjoys your company and that you needn’t worry about annoying him. As for your presence around the park, I don’t mind it, you keep a respectful distance and my plants are fond of you. There have been a few reckless fools who don’t do so, Frank usually dispatches them quickly enough, if not, one of the many poisonous plants does the job, still they tend to trample plants in their struggle. It’s rather upsetting to find a path of butchered plants and I’m glad you don’t do this. Your presence is less offensive than most.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Regards,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Dr. Pamela “Poison Ivy” Isley</em>
</p><p>
  <em>P.S. Frank has informed me that my compliments don’t read well. I apologize, I don’t talk to people much. I find you less unappealing than other humans. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>P.P.S Apparently that wasn’t satisfactory either. I will try again. What I mean is that I feel a great deal of anger, resentment and disgust towards the human race. Most times any evidence of human life sickens me, especially with regards to my plants. You don’t make me feel that way. Your present and your letter made me smile, I find you endearing in a very confusing way. I find emotions hard to identify, but I think I might not dislike you at all. You are kind, thank you for that. </em>
</p><p>Harley chuckled while reading and rereading the letter, the compliments, though strange, made Harley happy beyond measure. If she were being honest, she’d admit that she missed genuine compliments, Puddin’ didn’t compliment her anymore and it hurt her but she reasoned that a man with so many other priorities couldn’t be bothered with silly pleasantries. The only compliments she received nowadays came from the lecherous men she mugged and fed to Frank and being called a ‘pretty girl’ and a ‘stupid slut’ in rapid succession of one another made the compliment feel less than genuine.  Ivy’s compliments were stilted, and awkward, but they seemed ingenuous all the same.</p><p>Harley lowered the letter down to her lap amusement dancing across her features as she looked up at the vine hovering above her. “Your Ma’s not real good with people is she?” Frank tapped her shoulder twice, which according to the code they’d worked out meant ‘no’. Harley chuckled lightly at that. “That’s okay, I still like her plenty.” The vine wiggled back and forth, which they had decided meant ‘same.’ Harley smiled again.</p><p>“Do ya think she’ll ever wanna meet me?” <strong><em>One, two, three taps. Maybe.</em></strong></p><p>Harley nodded, “I guess she doesn’t trust people too much, does she?” <strong>One. Two. No.</strong></p><p>“That’s okay, I been told a time or two that my persistence is both vexin’ and unrelentin’. I’ll wear her down, I’m real charmin’. You think I’m charmin’ dontcha Franko?” <strong><em>One. Yes.</em></strong></p><p>Harley beamed brightly at the vine before shifting her attention to the groaning man on the sidewalk. “Damn I think he’s wakin’ up Frankie, ya betta grab him now. An’ I betta skedaddle, this money ain’t gonna spend itself. I’ll come by tomorrow with a letter for your Ma. Enjoy your dinner!” Frank reached down and scooped the man up before waving to Harley as she departed.</p><p>When Harley woke up the next day she felt surprised at how eager she was to write to Ivy, sure as Harleen Quinzel she’d written countless papers and dissertations, but non-academic writing was never something she indulged in as a hobby. She remembered once having a pen-pal in third grade, but she became quickly bored with the activity, and completing it became more a chore than anything else and when she mailed a detailed description of her father’s arrest record, the letters stopped coming. This was different though, Harley was in truth very excited about the prospect of being friends with Pamela Isley. </p><p>Harley sat down at her small window facing kitchen table a fresh cup of coffee and a bundle of new stationery in hand. She munched happily on the egg sandwich in front of her as she carefully guided the green felt tip marker over the envelope. After feeling satisfied that there were an appropriate amount of loops and colors on the envelope she started on her letter.</p><p>
  <em>Hiya Pammy!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Thanks fer writin’ me back! Don’t worry about the compliments, I thought they were real sweet an’ I think you're real sweet for writin’ ‘em. I’m real glad the branchy bunch are doin’ well, I hope they’re keepin’ Iggy and Frank company. An’ I hope they don’t fight with each other! Do plant siblin’s fight? Me an’ my brother used ta fight all the time, we loved each other an’ stuff, but I think it’s just the natural order a things siblin’s just gotta fight. Do you got any brothers or sisters? I bet if ya do they’re all real proud of ya. They must be, cause ya got all those cool powers, an’ ya use ‘em for good stuff, like savin’ the environment an’ stuff. I don’t do anythin’ like that. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Anyways, I was thinkin’ about what ya said, about Iggy, and I dunno, I feel kinda bad pullin’ him away from ya. I bet he’s got loads of plant friends an’ I don’t want him to feel lonely, ya know? I suppose that’ll happen to any plant I keep tho, wouldn’t it? They’d feel lonely, especially when I go back to Puddin’. Puddin’ is my boyfriend, he’s real sweet, but we’re in a bit of a fight right now, so I’m stayin’ in my apartment until he asks me to come back. Puddin’ doesn’t really like plants none or really any livin’ thing, once I had a cute lil piggy that I got from a carnival we raided an’ Miss Piggy (that’s what I called her) got into Puddin’s suits and boy was he angry. Long story short, I haven’t eaten bacon since. Anyway I guess it wouldn’t be right to take Iggy from ya, on account of I’d be scared ta bring Iggy there, but leavin’ him alone in the apartment feels mean. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>As for plant preference, I think my favorite is lavender, not just cause it’s pretty though. When I was lil my grandma had a huge garden, she had a real green thumb like you Pammy, an’ she loved lavender, planted twice as much of it as anythin’ else in her garden. I always had a real good time playin’ in her garden, she tried real hard to teach me to garden, but I was never any good at it. Still I liked helpin’ her pick all the fresh fruit and veggies from her garden, and all the herbs and stuff, all her food always tasted real good, an’ I think it’s cause she cooked with all those fresh veggies. Oh… wait since you’re part plant is eatin’ vegetables gross for ya? Geez I sure hope not, sorry if I offended ya, I didn’t mean to. Would ya let me know if I did? I don’t wanna make ya uncomfortable or nothin’. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Anyhow, I like lavender the most. Oh or Daffodils, I forgot about daffodils, I like ‘em a lot because of what they mean, new beginnings and good fortune an’ all that. I guess I don’t gotta tell you what they mean, you probably know the meanin’ of all flowers. Do you got a favorite flower? Or is that like askin’ a mom who their favorite kid is? Like they have one, an’ everyone knows they got a favorite kid, but they never say it out loud cause it’s mean to have a favorite? I bet it’s harder with plants to choose your favorite, cause they probably don’t do nothin’ to annoy ya. I was a real rambunctious kid, my Ma always told me so. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Anyway I should probably get goin’ this letter is plenty long and I don’t wanna annoy ya anymore. I just wanted to say thanks for everything an’ that I really like talkin’ to ya and I hope ya keep writin’ to me. You’re a real smart an’ talented lady, an’ I’d be lucky ta have a friend like you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>XOXO</em>
</p><p>
  <em>HQ</em>
</p><p>
  <em>P.S. Do ya like the new paper I bought? It’s called seed paper, you’re supposed to be able to plant it after you’re done usin’ the paper. I figure ya probably don’t wanna keep my letters anyhow, so at least this way ya get some new plants from ‘em!</em>
</p><p>Harley folded the letter carefully and placed it into the envelope before turning it over and pressing her lips to it. Her scarlet lipstick making a sloppy lip mark next to Ivy’s name, satisfied with her work the placed the letter on the table looking up to the clock on the counter.</p><p>“Oh geez, I spent an awful long time on that didn’t I?” Harley shrugged to herself, she usually spent most of her day watching cartoons or reading, so it wasn’t a great loss to have less time to do that. She was about to settle in on her sofa when she heard a familiar ping on her phone. She rushed over to it opening up the text message quickly.</p><p><span class="u">Puddin</span>’: me and the boys are running out of liquor, be a doll and steal us a few cases of that stuff I like. Oh and get yourself a bottle of that girly vodka ya like too while you’re at it. See ya soon!</p><p>Harley bit her lip between her teeth, normally she would be ecstatic to get a message like that from Mr. J, but she felt a bit torn now. She wanted to go home and see her Puddin’ of course, and he was real sweet for tellin’ her to pick up something for herself (though she didn’t really like vodka that much, she was more of a Jack Daniels type of girl) but she’d been really excited to bring her letter to the park and talk to Frank some more. She hesitated a few moments more before making a decision and shooting a text back.</p><p><span class="u">Harley</span>: Sure thing Puddin’ I’ll be there in two shakes of a lamb’s tail. Ya need me to pick up anythin’ else for ya?</p><p>Harley shoved her phone in her pocket, not waiting for the response as the grabbed the letter and quickly left the apartment. She figured she’d earn herself some extra time while Puddin’ decided if he wanted something else or not and  if she raced down to Robinson Park she could drop off the letter, hotwire a car and stick up a liquor store on her way back to the hideout.</p>
<hr/>
<hr/><p>++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++</p><p>Harley watched as Mr. J rolled his finger over his temple in clear frustration. She winced, it’d only been a day and she’d already messed up again, she put two creams in his coffee instead of his usual three by accident and even though she rushed to rectify the mistake the damage had been done.</p><p>“You see this shit is exactly why I kicked you out in the first place! You can’t even get a simple thing like coffee right! Jesus! You’d think you could remember three, it’s not like you do anything else around here. How many fingers am I holding up Harley?”</p><p>“…Three Mr. J.”</p><p>“Exactly, three! Count them, with me. One. Two. Three.” Harley counted along obediently and on the third finger Mr. J flung his coffee mug at her. It shattered just above her head and she had to bite her lip from screaming out at the pain of the hot coffee showering down on her.</p><p>“I’m real sorry Puddin’.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, oh I’m sorry. Shut the fuck up! Sorry doesn’t get me coffee Harley. Go make me a fresh one and then make yourself scarce. I don’t want to see your ugly face for the rest of the day.” Harley sniffled and did as she was told.</p><p>If she were being more honest, Harley would admit that her days ended up like this more often than not. If it wasn’t the coffee, it was something else. Watching T.V. too loud, flipping the pages of her comic book annoyingly, not making the bacon crispy enough, making it too crispy, not smiling enough, smiling too much, laughing at someone else’s joke, making a joke, or the ever ambiguous and oft used ‘looking at me funny.’ If Harley were being more honest she would admit that she couldn’t remember the last time her and Mr. J spent a whole day together, let alone a whole day without yelling.</p><p>If she were being more honest, Harley would admit that it was getting harder and harder to come back. If Harley were being more honest, she’d admit that the time she spent in her apartment was soothing, albeit lonely. If she were being more honest, Harley would admit that the sloppy drunken kisses that Mr. J gave her felt heavy and inept, that his hot rough hands felt like manacles and crossfire. That hugs felt like imprisonment and love making felt like punishment. If she were being more honest, Harley would admit that the only reason she stayed was because she knew she didn’t deserve better. If she were being more honest, Harley would admit that deep down, she knew that wasn’t true. But Harley wasn’t being honest.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>T/W: If you didn't read the end of the chapter basically what you missed is that Joker is an asshole who abuses and kicks Harley out on a regular basis over insignificant things. (Not that abuse is acceptable for any reason.) Harley is inching towards wanting to leave but lying to herself about it.</p><p>Other note: That P.P.S tho, amirite?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Paper Making and Pollinating</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>No trigger warnings for this one. Though as always if you see something that you think deserves one let me know in the comments and I'll fix it. </p>
<p>Maybe curse warning? There's a lot of cursing in this chapter, but it's fun cursing? I don't know if that makes it better or not lol. </p>
<p>Let me know what you think, and as always thanks for reading and stay well.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">Paper Making and Pollinating</span>
</p>
<p>Ivy wiped her paper stained hands on her work overalls cleaning the pulpy material off of them before reaching for her glass of water. It had seemed like a good idea at the beginning of the day to make paper, (because Ivy made her own recycled paper, of course she did) but now as the sun beamed heavy on her she doubted the wisdom of her plan. Still she resigned herself to completing the task, as arduous as the work was she wouldn’t let the supplies go to waste.</p>
<p><strong><em>I told you it was too hot outside for this.</em></strong> “The heat makes the paper dry quicker.”</p>
<p><strong><em>Mmmhmm so that’s the only reason you’re making paper right now?</em></strong> “What is that supposed to mean?”</p>
<p><strong><em>Oh nothing, just noticed that you haven’t responded to that letter yet.</em></strong> “So? You said yourself that she wasn’t going to be around for a couple of days, who cares if I didn’t write back yet?”</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>No, no you’re right, this probably has nothing to do with that. </em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>Ivy scowled at the vines. “Just say whatever it is you want to say already, stop being so fucking cryptic.”</p>
<p><strong><em>Oooh language! When did you start cursing like that?</em></strong> “Oh I don’t know, when did I meet you again?”</p>
<p>Ivy heard the vines laughing and she rolled her eyes finishing off her glass of water before turning back to the paper pulp. <strong><em>Soooo…</em></strong> “Oh for fucks sake. What?”</p>
<p><strong><em>Nothing, nothing… just wondering why you decided to put lavender oil in this particular batch of paper. </em></strong>Ivy blushed and faltered. “I… shut the fuck up Frank!” The vines laughed again louder this time.</p>
<p>Ivy ignored the cackling plant as she went back to work, she dipped the mould and deckle into the vat pulling up some paper pulp and shaking it from side to side a bit. As she watched the water drip from the frame she considered Frank’s words.</p>
<p> “Is it… is it not something you do?” <strong><em>Hmmm?</em></strong></p>
<p>“When you’re friends with someone, is it… I thought you were meant to be nice to them.” <strong><em>Your friends? Yeah you’re supposed to be nice to them.</em></strong></p>
<p>“So… is it not nice to put lavender in the paper? I… I just thought she might like it.” Ivy stammered and hesitated. It had been a very long time since she’d been friends with someone and she didn’t really know what was appropriate anymore. She couched the sheet of paper and pressed firmly down on it as she looked over to the vines.</p>
<p><strong><em>No, you’re right, it’s nice. I just don’t think I’ve ever seen you want to be nice to someone before.</em></strong> Ivy nodded at that. Save for her plants Ivy wasn’t nice to anyone, she usually didn’t even spare a thought on anyone. This letter writing blonde was the exception and while Ivy had been resistant to it at first, she had to admit it was kind of nice to have a friend that wasn’t a snarky vine hell-bent on teasing her night and day. “Do you think she’ll like it?” The vines laughed again and Ivy rolled her eyes. “What?”</p>
<p><strong><em>You like her.</em></strong> “I don’t like her. I find her to be less abhorrent than others.”</p>
<p><strong><em>Uh-huh.</em></strong> “It’s true. She’s mildly less atrocious than the other citizens of this city, which I might add is not a grand accomplishment as most of the citizens of this city are knuckle dragging cretins.”</p>
<p><strong><em>I</em></strong><strong><em>vy and Blonde girl sitting in a tree P-O-L-L-I-N-A-T-I-N-G.</em></strong> “Oh my God! That’s not even how it goes you dickhead!”</p>
<p><strong><em>I don’t know how human reproduction works!</em></strong> “Well for starters two females can’t reproduce.”</p>
<p><strong><em>Why not?</em></strong> “Because it doesn’t work that way, we lack the appropriate sexual reproduction organs necessary for fertilization.”</p>
<p><strong><em>Soooo why can’t you just grow them? </em></strong>“Humans can’t do that.”</p>
<p><strong><em>Ugh. Humans are stupid.</em></strong> “Agreed. Now would you stop being an ass and help me with this paper?”</p>
<p><strong><em>Fiiiine. But I expect a really juicy reward. Preferably one with a lot of body hair, I don’t need it, but it’s just so delicious.</em></strong> “That’s disgusting. But I’ll try my best.”</p>
<p>
  <em>Dear HQ,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The plants don’t fight with one another. Plants are not like humans, they’re simpler in a way. They don’t speak very much and when they’re happy they’re silent, peaceful. They’ll answer your questions if you ask them, give you bits of wisdom that they’ve learned across the years. They sing sometimes, when it rains, or on the first warm day of Spring, it’s lovely. Plants don’t argue, or get angry, they just sit and listen and ask for help when they need it. Well… most plants anyway, Frank is completely different, probably because he’s genetically modified, but his temperament is far more human than any plant I’ve ever encountered. That is to say that the only one Frank fights with is me. (Frank wants me to tell you that I’m the one who starts all the fights. But that is a damnable lie and he knows it.)</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I have no living relatives and I doubt if I did they’d be proud of me anyway. People tend to get squeamish in the face of homicide, even if it’s for a good cause. I must admit that I feel I am at a bit of a disadvantage, you seem to know quite a bit about me, but I know very little about you. Save for your initials and the fact that you like to steal plants and kill perverts. What does HQ stand for? </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>As for Iggy, you needn’t worry. He would be just as satisfied with you as he is here, though if you feel you can’t care for him I understand and I don’t mind keeping him. Do I want to know what happened to that poor pig? Either way your boyfriend sounds like a psychopath, though to be fair I have no problem killing someone for overwatering their lilies, so I guess that might be a bit hypocritical of me to say. Still I’d rather you not bring any of my plants around him, or him around any of my plants. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Your grandmother sounds like a lovely woman. My mother loved gardening, she taught me quite a bit about plants when I was a child, that’s partially why I became a botanist. It’s unfortunate that you didn’t take to gardening, but I suppose it’s not a skill everyone has. As for plant consumption, I’m not at all offended, don’t worry. I am actually a vegetarian, so all I eat are plants. The meat industry is one of the primary contributors to global warming, and I refuse to support it in anyway. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I fear I am unfamiliar with flower meanings, they are arbitrarily assigned to flowers and have no real value in scientific study. As such I never put any time or effort into learning them. Daffodils are lovely though, and I can see why someone would link them with prosperity and rebirth. You are right in that I don’t have a favorite plant or flower. (Frank would like you to know that he thinks I’m a liar. I think he’s a brat.) As for my plants not doing anything to annoy me, you’re mostly right, except for Frank who is continuously nagging me. (Frank is yelling a few choice words at me right now, but I will not repeat them here as I don’t want you to think me vulgar.)</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>You needn’t worry about annoying me. I will admit at first I was displeased by my plants’ insistence on continuing communication with you. However, I am pleasantly surprised to find myself satisfied with the outcome of this undertaking. As for your choice in stationary, I truly appreciate your thoughtfulness, but I fear that you’ve been swindled. The very process used to create recycled paper kills seeds, you see when you add moisture to seeds they germinate, after germination seeds need to be grown. But when you are making recycled paper, you must use moisture and then dry out the paper, so after the seeds are germinated they are dried out, very few seeds can survive the process. Still I like that you used recycled paper, and the gesture is not lost on me. So thank you for your efforts. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I don’t know if I am deserving of your flattery, but thank you nonetheless. As I said I don’t know very much about you, but you are kind and thoughtful. I find our communications to be amicable and engaging. I would not be opposed to continuing this exchange. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Regards,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Pamela </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>P.S. I’m curious as to why you would think I didn’t want to keep your letters?</em>
</p>
<p>Ivy frowned at the small book placed in front of her. “What’s this?” <strong><em>I don’t know, your lover dropped it off.</em></strong></p>
<p>“My lover? Who the hell?” <strong><em>Blonde girl.</em></strong> Ivy rolled her eyes at that.</p>
<p>“How could we possibly be lovers?! We’ve never even met!” <strong><em>Uh... Birds? Bees? Wind?? I thought you were a doctor, how the fuck don’t you know this?</em></strong></p>
<p>Ivy squeezed the bridge of her nose in frustration. “For the last time humans don’t pollinate each other!” <strong><em>Then how the fuck do they reproduce Ivy?</em></strong></p>
<p>“They have sex, and again, two women cannot reproduce.” <strong><em>What the fuck is sex?</em></strong></p>
<p>“It’s stimulation of the genitals for pleasure or reproduction. Which for the thousandth fucking time two women can’t achieve.” <strong><em>Two women can’t stimulate their genitals?</em></strong></p>
<p>“Oh my God, no that’s not what I fucking meant. I mean that two women can’t reproduce.” <strong><em>But they can still have sex.</em></strong> “Yes.”</p>
<p><strong><em>How?</em></strong> “For fucks sake, I am not explaining lesbian sex to you, go watch porn if you’re really that curious… actually don’t, porn is generally inaccurate… just Google it or something.”</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>Fine, but if I throw up on your laptop I don’t want to hear shit about it!</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>Ivy waved Frank off in frustration and looked down at the book in front of her:</p>
<p>The Language of Flowers: A Fully Illustrated Compendium of Meaning, Literature, and Lore for the Modern Romantic by Odessa Begay.</p>
<p>“Oh Jesus…” <strong><em>Read the damn book Ivy!</em></strong></p>
<p>“Mind your fucking business Frank! I thought you were watching porn anyway, leave me alone.” <strong><em>Fine. But that girl went through the trouble of finding that book for you, it’s a dick move to not read it.</em></strong></p>
<p>“Oh relax, I’ll read the stupid book later, just stop fucking bothering me.”</p>
<p>Ivy grimaced at the book cover before pulling the out the letter that was tucked in its pages. Ivy traced the looped letters of her name, smiling at the green flourishes and small flowers drawn around it. While she found the designs a bit garish she felt herself flattered by the amount of time this woman must have spent on her letters. She shook her head to clear her thoughts before opening the letter.</p>
<p>
  <em>Hey Ives!</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>What’s cookin’ good lookin’? I hope everything’s good with you, sorry I ain’t been around as much lately. Didja miss me? I betcha did. I missed you. I’m so glad you keep writin’ me, I know I sound like a broken record, but I just wantcha to know I appreciate ya. I hope ya like the book I gotcha, it’s not the same one my grandma had, but it looks real good and the lady at the book store said it was real interestin’. I’m surprised ya don’t know flower meanings, but now ya can learn and you can tell me which one is your favorite. I know ya said ya don’t have favorites, but this way you can choose your favorite meanin’ instead of your favorite flower, loop hole. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I really like the way ya talk about plants, it’s real pretty, I wish I could hear flowers singin’ I bet it’s real nice. As for Frank, I kinda got the feelin’ that he was different from the rest, it seems like you two get on like a house on fire. I guess that’s good, I bet it’d be real lonely without him, bet he’d be real lonely without you too. I know I’d hate it an awful lot if you stopped talkin’ to me, an’ I’ve only known ya for a little while, can’t imagine what it’d be like for you two. As for you starting the fights, you can tell Frank that I trust him about as far as I can throw him. I’m just kiddin’ I trust him plenty, he’s a great fella. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I’m sorry ya ain’t got no family left, I don’t get along too well with mine, but I guess I love ‘em just the same. I gotta be honest with ya Pammy, I don’t really want ya to know my name. Not cause it’s weird or nothin’, just cause I don’t know if you’d wanna be friends with me if ya knew who I was. That sounds sketchy, but I don’t mean it like that. I just mean… well I’m unremarkable and you… well you’re markable, ya know? I feel like if ya knew who I was you wouldn’t think it was worth bein’ my friend. So if it’s just the same to you, I’d like to keep it a secret a bit longer, is that okay? I hope so. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I’m glad Iggy is okay, and yeah I think it’s betta if he stays with you. My Puddin’ ain’t no psychopath, and I should know cause I got myself a doctorate in psychology! Yeah, you ain’t the only doctor around these parts! Hey, that’s somethin’ ya didn’t know about me! Hm… what else can I tell ya about me? Oh! I used ta do gymnastics when I was younger, so I’m real flexible an’ agile too. I like red candies the most, doesn’t matter what typa candy it is, I just prefer the red ones no matter what. I like anime a lot, my favorite movie is Your Name, it’s real romantic. My favorite food is my grandma’s eggplant parm. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Speakin’ of which, I’m glad I didn’t offend ya in my last letter. I was real worried about that. I didn’t know that meat was bad for the environment. I guess there’s probably alotta stuff I don’t know about the environment, but I’m gonna try to be better at it, cause I don’t like the idea of plants like Iggy and Frank gettin’ the short end of the stick. And yeah my grandma’s the best, I don’t see her very often on account of I don’t visit home that much, but she’s great. It’s cool that you and your Ma both liked gardening together. I don’t really have too much in common with my mom.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Oh my God! I can’t believe I sent you a letter with dead plant babies on it! That’s horrible! I’m so sorry! I didn’t know I swear. I went out an’ got some other recycled paper from the stationary store, I dunno what I’m gonna do with the rest of the seed paper, but don’t worry I won’t send it to ya anymore. I’m so sorry Ives, I didn’t realize what I was doin’. I can’t believe you’re still bein’ so nice to me after that. I’m a real dunce.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>You must be real patient if I don’t annoy ya, but I’m glad ya are! An’ I’d really like to keep writin’ to ya too. You’re real sweet to me an’ I like ya a lot. Do ya think that maybe one day you’d like ta meet me in person? It’s okay if ya don’t, I know ya like your privacy an’ all, an’ If I was you I  probably wouldn’t be in a rush to meet me either. Still I think I’d really like ta give ya a hug for bein’ so sweet ta me. Anyway I guess I betta go. Would ya tell me more things about ya? I’d really like it if ya did, I think you’re real interestin’. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>XOXO</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>HQ</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>P.S. I don’t know why I think ya don’t wanna keep my letters… I guess I just figured you wouldn’t want ‘em to take up space. Plus I know I don’t write fancy like you do so I wouldn’t be offended none if ya threw ‘em out, so ya don’t gotta feel guilty about it if that’s what you’re worried about.  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If you're wondering, no I did not read that book, I found the flower meanings online (if you want I can post the link here). If you're thinking 'oh did you pick the book because the title seemed like the farthest away from anything Ivy would read?' the answer is yes, yes I did. Also the author's last name is Begay... come on? Eh?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Harley’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Really Bad, Day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger Warning: Verbal Abuse. It happens right in the beginning of the chapter so if you want to skip it just scroll down to the double lines and read from there. Read end notes to see what you missed. (though I think the rest of the chapter kind of explains what happened.)</p><p>Also, bonus points for anyone who can spot the tiktok reference.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">Harley’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Really Bad, Day</span>
</p><p>Harley skipped into the lair happily as she sipped on her venti mocha swirl, Mr. J had yelled at her earlier but he sent her a text to come back to the lair, so she was tickled pink.</p><p>“Hey ya Puddin’!” Harley called out happily as she rounded the corner to their bedroom. Mr. J looked up from his bag. He was packing a duffel bag and Harley felt giddy. He hadn’t mentioned a trip to her, so it must’ve been a surprise.</p><p>“Oh finally! Harley, where is that shirt that I really like, the one with the stripes?”</p><p>“The blue one? It’s in the dresser, bottom right hand corner.” Harley watched as Mr. J searched for the shirt, wondering what far off romantic place he was taking her to.</p><p>“Fantastic! Oh and where are my good cigars? I can only find the cheap shits that Tommy got me.”</p><p>“Oh they’re in the other room, I’ll grab ‘em for ya.” Harley turned and walked out of the room to grab the cigars. When she came back and handed them to Mr. J, she stood there waiting expectantly but as usual her impatience got the best of her. “So where are we goin’ Puddin’?” Harley watched as Mr. J pulled his head back in maniacal laughter.</p><p>“We?! What a gas! We aren’t going anywhere! I am going to meet an arms dealer and you are going to go do whatever the fuck it is you do when I’m not around.”</p><p>“But Mr. J-“</p><p>“But what Harley?!” Harley faltered, cowering back at the boom of his voice.</p><p>“I just… I can’t stay here by myself, I ain’t got no keys, how will I get back in?” Mr. J glared at her and Harley shrunk back further, wishing she’d just kept the question to herself.</p><p>“Do I look like I give a shit Harley?! Stay inside while I’m gone, or fuckin’ leave until I come back, I don’t fucking care! I’m not your fucking care taker Harley, be a fucking adult and take care of your own shit for once! As a matter of fact, you know what? While I’m gone I don’t want you in my fucking lair! You’d probably burn the whole fucking place down if I wasn’t here. So why don’t you just make like a tree and fuck off!”</p><p>Harley felt tears welling in her eyes but willed them not to fall, knowing that crying would only make Mr. J more angry with her. Instead she nodded mutely and walked out of the room, passing by the goons snickering at her expense. She didn’t spare them a glance as she made her way out of the lair, none of them mattered anyway, they were as disposable to Mr. J as she was.</p><hr/>
<hr/><p>As Harley walked into her apartment she stripped off the jester outfit, she never wore it unless she was with Mr. J. It made it too hard for her to mug people if they recognized who she was, so she settled for a more lackluster look. She flopped onto her sofa sadly, not bothering to get redressed. She wondered briefly how long Mr. J would be out of town for, but decided that it didn’t matter, she’d find out whenever he wanted her to.</p><p>After allowing herself a couple more moments of self-pity she got up, washed her face and put on some new clothes. If she was going to spend the next few days alone, then at least she’d make the most of it. It had been a couple of days since her last letter to Ivy, so maybe she’d written her back by now. If not she could still talk to Frank, and grab some cash from some unsuspecting jerk. Yes, Harley decided, her day was looking up already.</p><p>
  <em>Dear Dr. HQ,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I wish you would have told me you were a doctor earlier, I would have used the appropriate title. As a matter of fact I did miss you, especially since without you around to talk to Frank spends more time bothering me. So please I implore you, come back and talk to him more often. Frank would also like me to let you know that he prefers the food you provide him with to what I provide him and that he thinks you’re a much better conversationalist than I am. But I digress, thank you for the book you sent, I will admit that I found the title to be a little off putting, but it has proven to be an interesting read. So thank you again. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>As far as my favorite flower based on meaning goes, I think I’d have to go with the sweet pea: “Symbolizing pleasure, bliss and departure after having a good time…” I think the last bit is what I like the most, departure after having a good time. The feeling it evokes seems akin to what happens when you finish a really good book or the last day of summer, you feel full and happy that you’ve experienced it, but sad that it’s over. It reminds me of you actually, of the feeling I get when I read your letters. Frank has informed me that that is a strange thing to say to someone you’ve never met before, which to be honest is confusing. He said all of my earlier compliments were stiff and impersonal but this type of compliment is not okay either, I’m afraid I don’t know how to pay you a compliment. Apologies, I hope I haven’t made you uncomfortable. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>As for my relationship with Frank, I suppose you’re right that we get along well, despite our arguments I care for him greatly. As you have probably noticed he’s a bit more adept at socializing than I am, he says it’s because he watches Dr. Phil. But I find that man abhorrent and I refuse to watch his program. You have a degree in psychology, what do you think of him? Frank is insisting I tell you that you don’t have to agree with me just to be nice, which for the record is true, if you don’t agree with me I’d like you to tell me and I’d love to hear your professional expertise on the subject, I’m sure your reasoning is sound either way. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I don’t know why you’re hesitant to tell me who you are, if I had any reservations about speaking with you I would have stopped writing to you a long time ago. The only way I can imagine that I’d dislike you after knowing who you were is if you ended up being some atrocious proponent of ecological destruction. But I find it hard to believe that someone who shows such an affinity towards plant life could be such a person. Still I respect your privacy, and if you don’t want to tell me just yet, I won’t push you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>As far as the seed paper goes, you needn’t worry. I wouldn’t say that seeds are the equivalent of babies, it’d say sprouts are. You never expect all seeds to grow after you plant them, some will always die, it’s just the way of nature. I suppose if I had to give a human equivalent of seeds I’d say they’re more similar to ovum, or sperm, there are many of them, but only some make children.  Needless to say no one is sad that many of those cells remain unfertilized. So if you’d like to continue using the paper, by all means do so, it’s not at all offensive to me. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I appreciate the sentiment, but I’m afraid if we met, you wouldn’t be able to hug me. My skin is toxic to humans, hence the Poison in my alias. Aside from that, how would you continue to keep your identity a secret if we met in person? I may be a bit of a hermit, but if you think I’d recognize your name then surely I would recognize your face wouldn’t I?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m not sure what you’d like to know about me, but I suppose I can start with the things you listed about yourself. I did not do gymnastics, but I was on my high school lacrosse team and in the chess club. I don’t have very much of a sweet tooth, but I do enjoy ice cream once in a while. Only Ben and Jerry’s though because their practices are the most ethical and Bourbon Pecan Pie is hands down the best ice cream flavor ever. I don’t watch very many TV shows or movies, I mostly watch documentaries, though I will admit that I do enjoy some of the programs that Frank likes to watch. There is a delightful program called Parks and Recreation that I find quite amusing. As for food, I am not much of a cook myself, but I enjoy Thai food. I don’t know if any of that was interesting to you, but if there is something more specific you’d like to know, feel free to ask.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I can’t understand why you put yourself down so much, I find you affable and a pleasure to talk to. As for your writing style, yes it is very different from my own, but that doesn’t make it less valuable or enjoyable to read. Frank says I write like a character from Downton Abbey, which I assume he means as an insult. I’m glad that you think my writing ‘fancy’ and not overly formal. Nevertheless I don’t want you to feel insecure about your own writing, I assure you that I enjoy your letters very much. I’m going to try to compliment you again, so please bear with me. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your letters make me feel as if I’ve received a bit of you with them, like you’ve somehow managed to trap a bit of yourself inside your words and you’re gifting them to me. It is a wonderful gift to receive and I cherish it. Frank says I’m being strange again, I apologize. I just mean that I like your letters, and I feel as if your writing style makes them more personable. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Best Wishes,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Pamela</em>
</p><p>Harley held the letter to her chest and squealed in delight. “Oh geez, your Ma is a real sweetheart isn’t she?” <strong><em>Two taps. No.</em></strong></p><p>Harley laughed and swatted at the vines playfully. “Oh don’t be mean, she’s real nice.” Harley turned around to face the fence, her fingers lightly tracing along the new climbing flowers that crept up the iron bars.</p><p>“These are sweat peas, aren’t they?” <strong><em>One tap. Yes.</em></strong></p><p>“Did she plant ‘em for me?” <strong><em>One tap. Yes.</em></strong> “And the daffodils?” <strong><em>One tap. Yes.</em></strong></p><p>Harley felt her heart burst with joy, there was something so unexpectedly sweet and innocent about Poison Ivy that Harley never would have thought possible. It was clear from her letters that Ivy was unused to human interaction, so perhaps she didn’t realize how painfully cute and mushy her words and actions came across, but still Harley appreciated them all the same. “I think my heart might explode, how’d someone as kind as your Ma get such a bad rap?” <strong><em>One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six...</em></strong></p><p>“Whoa, what does that mean? I don’t remember that part of the code.” <strong><em>Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.</em></strong> “Geez Frankie, what’s goin’ on? Are you okay?”</p><p>“Who are you talking to sexy?” Harley rolled her eyes.</p><p>“Listen pal, I’m really not in the mood today, so just keep walkin’.”</p><p>“Oh did you hear that fellas? She’s not in the mood. That’s okay baby, I’ll put you in the mood real quick.” Just as quick as the hand reach down to grab her, Harley shot up and kicked out as she flipped backwards. The man stumbled back holding his chin and glaring at Harley. Harley quickly took stock of the situation, six guys, she’d handled worse, but her bat was out of reach, and the men were closing in.</p><p>“Allright I’m feelin’ charitable, so if ya just turn an’ walk away, I won’t hafta hurt ya anymore.” The men laughed at Harleys threat and she took their distraction as an opportunity to lash out, knocking two of the men to the floor as she went for her bat. But before she could reach it a hand gripped her hair and pulled her backwards, her head knocking against something hard. Her vision started swimming and before she knew what was happening, it was over.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>T/W: Essentially Joker leaves town and makes sure Harley doesn't stay in his lair while he's gone. </p><p>Other note: Anyone catch how Ivy was casually just like "oh don't worry about it, you didn't send me dead baby paper, you sent me period/jizz paper, it's all good"</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Crisis in Robinson Park, Starring Ivy as The Useless Bisexual</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>No Trigger Warnings in this chapter, again as usual if you see something that warrants one let me know in the comments and I'll add one. </p><p>Parks and Rec reference anyone?</p><p>Also, Ivy's on the hot mess express rn</p><p>Thanks for reading and stay well!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">Crisis in Robinson Park, Starring Ivy as The Useless Bisexual</span>
</p><p><strong><em>Ivy come in here, now!</em></strong> Ivy scowled, ignoring Frank for a moment as she jotted a couple of notes. “I’m kind of busy!”</p><p><strong><em>Damn it Ivy! I need you in here now!</em></strong> “Jesus Frank, relax! I just made a break with this formula I’ve been working on, whatever issues you’re having with the fucking DVR can wait!”</p><p><strong><em>Okay fuck this! </em></strong>Ivy didn’t have a chance to respond as the vines wrapped around her and pulled her away from her desk. “What the fuck Frank?! Put me down you jackass!”</p><p>Ivy struggled against the vines, kicking out as she yelled at the vines. “I swear to fucking God Frank, if you don’t put me the fuck down I’m going to fucking kick your ass!” <strong><em>Shut the fuck up Ivy, and I don’t have an ass you dumbfuck!</em></strong></p><p>“I don’t give a shit, I’ll fucking genetically modify you to have a fucking ass and then I’ll fucking kick it.”</p><p>Ivy struggled harder against the vines as they wrapped around her more completely pulling her into the house. Ivy paused in her struggle when she saw a figure laid out on her sofa. “Oh my God did you put your fucking dinner on my sofa?! What the fuck Frank? That shit is disgusting! I swear to-“ <strong><em>God damn it Ivy, shut the fuck up and look!</em></strong></p><p>Before Ivy could respond Frank shoved her closer to the figure laying on her sofa. “Wait… is that… blonde girl?” <strong><em>Yes and she’s fucking hurt so stop being a dickhead and help her!</em></strong></p><p>“Okay, okay, put me down, where is she hurt? How did she get hurt?” <strong><em>Her head, it hit the ground pretty hard, and I think I might have gotten one of her branches hurt when I pulled her over the fence.</em></strong></p><p>“Okay, head trauma first, grab me that first aid kit.” Ivy gestured to the other room and took out her penlight from her lab coat. “She looks pretty dazed, but she’s not unconscious that’s a good sign.  I need you to hold open her eyes so I can check for a concussion… gently Frank, don’t poke her fucking eyes out.” Ivy pointed the pen light at the blonde woman’s eyes. “Her pupils aren’t dilated, okay, sweet pea, I need you to focus on me, can you tell me how many fingers I’m holding up?” Ivy held up two fingers and the blonde woman mumbled incoherently in response. “okay, that’s okay, can you sit up for me sweet pea?” Ivy heard the vines laughing and she rolled her eyes. <strong><em>I’m sorry I can’t, sweet pea? Are you fucking kidding me? </em></strong></p><p> “Shut the fuck up Frank. I don’t know her fucking name what the fuck else am I supposed to call her you overgrown cucumber.” <strong><em>Okay, that was uncalled for.</em></strong> </p><p>Ivy ignored Frank and watched as the blonde woman struggled to move but ultimately couldn’t get up. “Okay, that’s okay. She understands me at least so that’s something. Can you hold your hand up for me?” The blonde woman slowly reached her hand out. “Okay good, I’m going to ask you some questions okay sweet pea, I need you to put up one finger for yes and two for no. Do you understand?” The blonde woman held up one finger in response. Yes.</p><p> “Good girl.” <strong><em>She’s not a fucking dog.</em></strong></p><p>“I know she’s not a fucking dog, stop being a fucking jackass and be useful, go get her some ice for her head or some shit.” Ivy heard a soft chuckle leave the blonde woman’s lips and she turned her attention back to her. She grimaced guiltily. “Sorry. Okay, anyway. Do you feel dizzy?” The woman held up two fingers. No.</p><p>“Okay good, do you feel nauseous?” Two fingers again. No.</p><p>“Great, did you hit your back or neck when you fell?” Two fingers. No. “</p><p>Okay good, good. Frank is going to help you sit up okay? I need to check if you have a head wound.” One finger. Yes.</p><p>“Okay Frank help her sit up would you, and be gentle.” Frank did as he was told and Ivy circled the sofa inspecting the back of the blonde woman’s head, much to her relief there was no head wound. “Okay good you’re not bleeding. You can lie her back down.” The vines eased the blonde woman back down gently.</p><p>“Okay you said you hurt one of her branches? I’m assuming you mean her arms or legs, which one is it?” <strong><em>I said I might have hurt one of her branches, and I don’t know the bottom right branch.</em></strong></p><p>Ivy’s eyes went straight to the right leg trying to inspect it for damage. “I don’t see anything, where is it exactly?” Frank poked the blonde woman’s ankle and she hissed in response. “Don’t fucking poke it you jackass!” <strong><em>Sorry! Jesus, it’s not my fault you humans are so fucking fragile. </em></strong></p><p>Ivy glared at the vines before leaning closer to the ankle in question. “I can’t see anything, I need you to take off her socks and sneakers. But be fucking careful.” <strong><em>Okay fine… what the fuck is a sneaker?</em></strong></p><p>“I swear to fucking God, it’s the fucking thing covering her fucking foot, what else would I be talking about?!” <strong><em>Okay damn! Relax so I’m not an expert on human fashion, fucking sue me!</em></strong></p><p>“I’m going to go get some bandages, be careful!” <strong><em>Don’t worry, I won’t hurt your precious sweet pea!</em></strong></p><p>Ivy stalked away searching for the bandages she kept in her medicine cabinet, when she returned to the living room she found Frank trying to undo the button of the blonde woman’s shorts as the blonde woman weakly tried to swat him away. “What the fuck are you doing?!” <strong><em>I’m trying to take off her socks, but she keeps fucking hitting me.</em></strong></p><p>“Those aren’t her socks you dumbass! I swear when this is over I’m teaching you some fucking basic human terminology, you’d think with all the fucking T.V. you watch you’d know this shit.” <strong><em>Don’t get snarky with me Ivy, you should be the one doing this shit not me!</em></strong></p><p>“I would love to be the one doing it, but someone decided it was a good idea to fill all of my latex gloves with fucking water and throw them at me while I was working like they were fucking water balloons, so I fucking can’t!” The blonde woman giggled. <strong><em>Ha! See she thinks it’s funny!</em></strong></p><p>Ivy sent Frank a pointed look and the vines relented.  <strong><em>Okay fine what do you need me to do now?</em></strong></p><p>Ivy walked over to the edge of the sofa and inspected the ankle as closely as she could without touching it. It was definitely swollen, and Ivy hoped that it wasn’t broken. “Okay, can you move your foot at all?” The blonde woman wiggled her foot a little and hissed at the pain. “Okay… I feel like it’s not broken, but I can’t tell without touching it and I can’t touch it so what do I do… Okay, Frank hold that ice pack on her ankle for a minute I’ll be right back.” Ivy raced up to her room, pulled open her top drawer grabbed a pair of socks and ran back down the stairs.</p><p><strong><em>Okay, I know I said I don’t know a lot about human fashion, but I’m pretty sure those are supposed to go on your bottom branches.</em></strong> “I know where they’re supposed to go, but like I said I don’t have any gloves so I’m fucking improvising.” Ivy gently reached down to the hurt ankle, pressing into the bone to check for fractures. The blonde woman whimpered in response. “I know sweet pea, I’m sorry, I have to check if it’s broken.”</p><p>“Not broken.” Her voice was hoarse from disuse and she spoke slowly but Ivy was surprised that the blonde woman was able to answer her nonetheless. “Just sprained.” The woman tried to shift on the sofa again but sighed looking over to Ivy before speaking again. “I can wrap it, if ya just help me sit up.” Ivy nodded and reached her sock covered hands out to the woman, pulling her up into a sitting position before handing her the bandage. Ivy watched as she expertly wrapped the bandage around her ankle.</p><p>“Good, good, are you hurt anywhere else? Do you need me to get you something? I’ll get you some water and an aspirin.” Ivy moved to walk away but paused in her step at the woman’s next words.</p><p>“Acetaminophen, if ya got it, blood thinners are no good fer head injuries.” Ivy nodded dumbly in response.</p><p>“Right, of course, okay acetaminophen.” Ivy came back shortly, handing the woman a bottle of Tylenol and a glass of water before sitting in the arm chair across from her and watching her carefully for any signs of further injury. <strong><em>Ivy you need to say something to her, it’s fucking creepy to just silently stare at her.</em></strong> Ivy grimaced, searching her mind for an appropriate thing to say.</p><p>“Um.. blood. I need a blood sample.” <strong><em>Nope, I was wrong, speaking was not the right choice. What the fuck is wrong with you?</em></strong></p><p>“Uh.. poison … in the plants, if you touched one on the way in here there might be latent side effects, I need to synthesize an antidote and I need to test your blood to make sure that you haven’t been infected.” The blonde woman looked mildly amused but made no comment.</p><p>“Okay…”</p><p>“Right. Okay.” Ivy nodded, sitting ramrod straight in the seat for a couple of moments. <strong><em>Jesus Ivy go get the fucking needle.</em></strong></p><p>“I’ll go now, to get that. Goodbye.” Ivy hurriedly made her way out of the room and back into her lab, Frank following close behind. <strong><em>That was the worst thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Did you grow up in the woods? Are you Nell from the movie Nell?</em></strong></p><p>“I don’t know what that means.” <strong><em>It means what in the actual fuck Ivy?</em></strong></p><p>“I got nervous okay? Jesus, it’s been a long time since I’ve talked to anyone, and you’re not fucking helping.” <strong><em>What the fuck do you want me to do? Tell you what to say?</em></strong> Ivy’s eyes lit up. <strong><em>I’m not doing that Ivy.</em></strong></p><p>“Why not?” <strong><em>Because this isn’t a romantic comedy from the 90’s, you need to fucking grow a pair!</em></strong></p><p>“… that… that doesn’t apply to me.” <strong><em>What? Why not?</em></strong></p><p>“Because I don’t have testicles.” <strong><em>What the fuck are testicles?</em></strong></p><p>“They’re- … what do you think growing a pair means?” <strong><em>I don’t know like be brave or some shit?</em></strong></p><p>“Okay fine, I’ll talk to her, but you have to stop being a dick.” <strong><em>I can’t promise that. </em></strong></p><p>Before Ivy could respond Frank slithered away. Ivy scowled at the departing vines and went back to her search for the needle. Ivy found the needle and reentered the room, placing the needle on the coffee table in front of the blonde woman.</p><p>“Doctor… Blonde girl… woman… um…” The blonde woman giggled lightly, Ivy wanted the floor to open up and swallow her whole.</p><p>“Harley.”</p><p>“Harley… right um… you… can you- I can’t.” Ivy gestured at the needle on the table, then waved her sock covered hands. “Can you do it?” Harley smirked for a moment before nodding.</p><p>“Sure no problem Pammy, ya got somethin’ I can make a tourniquet outta?” Ivy nodded silently before leaving the room and returning with the appropriate supplies and placing them in front of Harley. Ivy sat back down on the arm chair and watched Harley for a moment, wracking her brain. What did one do when there was a woman sitting on your sofa drawing her own blood? What was the appropriate human response to this? “All done doc, here ya go.” Ivy shook herself out of her stupor and accepted the needle from Harley, capping it and placing it in the breast pocket of her lab coat.</p><p>“Good, yes. Thank you for the um… for the blood.” Ivy smiled weakly at Harley. That was what you did when someone gave you something wasn’t it? You thanked them and smiled. Yes, yes that’s correct. Harley laughed and Ivy’s face fell. She’d done something wrong, Ivy tried to go over the situation in her head but Harley’s voice interrupted her thoughts.</p><p>“Hey Pammy, I’m sorry. I wasn’t tryin’ ta tease ya or nothin’. I just think you’re cute is all. Would ya come sit next ta me for a minute? Please? I promise I won’t touch your skin.” Ivy nodded robotically and gingerly sat next to Harley on the sofa. She could do this, she could follow instructions, she liked instructions, she kept all the instruction manuals of her appliances and she actually read them, in English and in French, just in case there were inconsistences in the directions. Yes, instructions were good.</p><p>“Thank ya for takin’ care of me.” Ivy nodded.</p><p>“Frank did a brunt of the work. I merely assisted.” Harley grabbed Ivy’s socked hand and waited until Ivy turned towards her before speaking again.</p><p>“Ya did more than assist, an’ I really appreciate it. Okay?” Ivy nodded, she reached out her other socked hand and ran it gently over the back of Harley’s head for a few moments, when she felt satisfied that there were no bumps there she pulled her hand back. Ivy pulled her hand away from Harley’s and set a pillow on the coffee table in front of them before lifting her injured leg and resting it gently on the pillow.</p><p>Ivy placed the ice pack on Harley’s ankle and tried to think, what else did she need? Her injuries were taken care of, she had water, she seemed comfortable. What else could she offer Harley? “Food! Uh… do you want some? I haven’t made dinner yet… I could um... make it… for us… if you’re hungry.” Harley smiled.</p><p>“Sure Ives, I’d like that. Thank you.” Ivy nodded and rushed off to the kitchen. She made quick work of pulling out all the ingredients that she’d prepped earlier in the day. Usually she cooked enough food to last for several days so she figured it would be enough for the both of them. She took a deep breath, she needed to calm down.</p><p>Ivy knew that the bulk of her nerves had to do with the fact that she hadn’t socialized with another human being since before she’d died and come back. Ivy also knew that she actually cared what Harley thought of her, which made this experience even more nerve wracking. She was sure she was doing everything wrong, but had no idea how to fix it. Why hadn’t she watched those damn reality TV shows with Frank when he’d asked? She could have taken notes, might have known what to do. As if on cue the vines poked around the corner of the kitchen.</p><p><strong><em>So uh… how you doing there buddy?</em></strong> Ivy shot him a pitiful look.</p><p><strong><em>Okay, okay, it’s okay, we can handle this. Just.. you know she likes you so, just don’t stress out too much okay?</em></strong> “She likes me?”</p><p><strong><em>Yeah, definitely, you should have seen her reading your letter earlier, I mean I personally thought it was stupid, but she loved all that cheesy shit you wrote. </em></strong>Ivy nodded as she measured out the ingredients before responding. “Okay… good. Okay.”</p><p><strong><em>Just uh…</em></strong> “What? What did I do?”</p><p><strong><em>That whole touching shit, you have to stop doing that.</em></strong> “But I was just checking her injuries.”</p><p><strong><em>Yeah… still though, you gotta ask permission for shit like that.</em></strong> “Right, yes, consent, consent is good. I can do that.”</p><p><strong><em>Great. I’m going to go turn on the TV so we have a distraction from your awkward behavior. </em></strong>“Yes, good idea. Distractions are good. Yes, do that please and thank you.” <strong><em>Okay, you’re doing great champ.</em></strong></p><p>After a painfully long and awkward dinner Ivy decided it would be best to get Harley settled in for the night. “I would like to take you up to the guest room, if you find that to be agreeable.” Harley smiled warmly at her and nodded her head.</p><p>“Sure Ives, I’d like that.” Ivy nodded, putting the socks back on her hands before turning to Harley.</p><p>“Okay good, the room is upstairs, do I have your permission to carry you?”</p><p>“Oh um… sure, but I might be a lil heavy for ya.” Ivy frowned at this, Harley didn’t look heavy. But Ivy didn’t want to try to carry her and then drop her.</p><p>“How much do you weigh?” <strong><em>You fucking idiot you’re not supposed to ask a woman how much she weighs, even I know that.</em></strong></p><p>Ivy’s eyes widened. “Oh um… sorry, was that a rude question to ask? I’m so-“</p><p>“Hey, hey it’s okay. I’m about 125, give er take a couple L B’s.” Ivy nodded.</p><p>“Okay, then yes I can carry you… if you’re okay with it.”</p><p>“Yeah, I’m okay with it.”</p><p>“Okay good but don’t touch me. I mean my skin, don’t touch my skin…” Harley smiled.</p><p>“I got it, I won’t, promise.” Ivy nodded and scooped the smaller woman up in her arms in one fluid motion. After Ivy got Harley settled in for the night, she went straight to her lab and started mixing up solutions. Several tests and trials later and Ivy had an antidote and a vaccination. She took both to Harley’s room and set them on her bedside table. Satisfied and exhausted Ivy finally crashed for the night, praying that the next day wouldn’t be as awkward.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I didn't know what that rubber band looking thing that doctors wrap around your arm when they're taking out blood was called, the internet said tourniquet but idk if that's right, if anyone knows a more accurate name for it lmk and I'll change it. </p><p>Other note: Ivy doesn't recognize Harley right away bc she's used to seeing her with her jester outfit and make up on (on like tv or in the news, where ever one would see pictures of clown like criminals) and also Ivy's losing her shit rn so she's allowed to be slow on the uptake, cut her some slack. LoL</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Rub-a-Dub-Dub Awkward Times in the Tub</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>No trigger warnings this chapter, but as always if you see something that should be marked let me know.</p><p>Also I may have lied in the previous chapter, Ivy isn't on the hot mess express, she's on the hot mess local making all stops from here to downtown dorksville</p><p>Thank you for reading, and stay well</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">Rub-a-Dub-Dub Awkward Times in the Tub</span>
</p><p>Harley woke to a gentle knock on the door, she shifted around the unfamiliar bed confused as to her surroundings before remembering the night before. “Yeah? Come in.” Ivy poked her head in, as if hesitant to enter the room fully and Harley smiled at the cuteness of it. “I don’t bite Ives, you can come in.” Ivy cleared her throat and nodded at that walking into the room with a tray in her hands.</p><p>“I uh.. I brought you breakfast. I didn’t know if you preferred to eat here or downstairs but-“ Harley clapped her hands excitedly.</p><p>“Ya brought me breakfast in bed? That’s so sweet Pammy! You’re the greatest!” Ivy flushed and nodded mutely in response. She went over to the bed and carefully rested the tray down. Harley scanned over the food in front of her and smiled brightly. “This looks real good Ives!” Ivy nodded.</p><p>“Good, yes, okay. I’m going to get you something to drink.” Ivy rushed out of the room before Harley had a chance to respond. Harley chuckled at the retreating form, she knew of course that the red headed woman was nervous, anyone would be able to see that, but she found it adorable. Poison Ivy, the deadly super villain who struck fear in the hearts of her enemies, was also a sweet awkward teddy bear. Before she had a chance to contemplate it further Ivy appeared with another tray in her hands, Harley raised a questioning eyebrow.</p><p>“Right uh… I didn’t know what you wanted to drink, so I brought a couple of things.” Harley watched as she set the tray down on the bedside table. “So um… there’s orange juice, and water and coffee. There’s sugar on the side and milk… oat milk, I don’t have any regular milk, I haven’t been to the farmer’s market in some time so… sorry. Or if you want I can make you tea, do you want tea?” Harley laughed lightly, placing a gentle hand on Ivy’s arm, being sure to only touch the woman’s sleeve as she spoke.</p><p>“This is all fantastic Pam, really. Ya don’t gotta worry about me, okay?” Ivy nodded. “Thank you, this is really sweet of ya.” Ivy shook her head.</p><p>“No it’s nothing. Sustenance is important for healing and you need to heal, so no big deal.” Harley suppressed an amused smile at that but didn’t press the issue further. “Right so I made a vaccination and an antidote for you, they’re over there. I’ve tested your blood and it doesn’t seem you need the antidote now, but with the amount of poisonous plants around I felt it prudent to make it nonetheless. You can take the vaccination whenever you want, it’ll make you immune to all of the poisonous plants.”</p><p>“What about you?” Ivy looked confused at that.</p><p>“What do you mean? I’m already immune.” Harley took a bite of her omelet before responding.</p><p>“I meant, will it make me immune to you? Like can I touch ya?” Ivy flushed and Harley hid her smirk behind her cup as she took a sip of the orange juice. “Oh wow, this is real good Red! Where’d ya get this orange juice?”</p><p>“Uh I have an orange tree in the green house, so I just-“</p><p>“Ya squeezed fresh orange juice fer me?”</p><p>“Well… yes.” Harley smiled brightly at that and Ivy shuffled uncomfortably for a moment before continuing. “Anyway, as for your earlier question, yes the vaccine will make you immune from my toxins as well. But it will take 7 to 21 days for the-“</p><p>“Immune response, yeah I know.” Ivy nodded stiffly at that.</p><p>“Good, great. Um I’m going to go downstairs now. Have a good breakfast… goodbye.” Harley watched in amusement as Ivy waved awkwardly and slipped from the room quickly. As Harley ate her breakfast she pondered the circumstances of her situation.</p><p>The day before had undoubtedly been a disaster, first she’d gotten into a fight with Puddin’, then he kicked her out of the lair for an undisclosed amount of time, then she’d let a bunch of normies get the best of her, had gotten hurt and had to be rescued. All in all it was definitely not good, but still even as Harley thought about all the negative things, she couldn’t help but be happy despite them. If none of that had happened, then she wouldn’t be where she was in that moment. She was sitting in bed, in a lovely room that smelled of lavender and honeysuckle, eating a delicious breakfast prepared for her by the sweetest person she’d ever met. Was this worth all the misfortune that she’d experienced the day before? Harley's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Ivy's voice echoing through the house.</p><p>“No, I don’t think she’s done eating yet….Because I just gave her the food, not everyone swallows their food whole like you do Frank….Because humans have to masticate… that’s not what I fucking said you fucking pervert. Masticate, it means chew dickhead.” Harley covered her mouth to stifle her laughter at the seemingly one-sided conversation floating up the stairwell.</p><p> Yes, she decided, it was worth it.</p>
<hr/><p>Harley had just finished administering the vaccination when she heard a gentle knock on the door. “Come in.” Ivy poked her head in and Harley smiled brightly at her. “Hey ya Red, I just finished givin’ myself the shot.” Ivy nodded.</p><p>“Okay good, um have you finished breakfast? I don’t want to rush you, it’s okay if you haven’t, I just figured I’d check.” Harley laughed.</p><p>“It’s okay Ives, I’m done. Thank you, it was all real yummy.” Ivy nodded at that.</p><p>“So um… would you like me to take you downstairs? I don’t want you to be bored, I have books and... a TV if you want to watch it.”</p><p>“That’d be great Ives, but maybe if ya don’t mind, could I take a bath first? I feel real grubby from last night.” Ivy’s eyes widened at that.</p><p>“Oh my God, yes of course. I’m sorry, I didn’t think of that.” Harley waved a dismissive hand at that.</p><p>“Don’t worry about it Red, I know you were real worried about my injuries an’ the antidote an’ all that last night, it’s fine.”</p><p>“Okay, I’m going to take this, then I’ll set everything up and then I’ll come back.” Harley nodded and Ivy lifted the tray off the bed before walking out of the room. It was several moments later before she reappeared. “Okay, I have everything set up, I’m going to help you stand now, if that’s okay.”</p><p>“Yeah, it’s okay Red.” Ivy nodded and walked over to the bed reaching a gloved hand out to Harley. “Hey ya got gloves.”</p><p>“Oh yes, I found them in the shed, gardening gloves… but don’t worry they’re new, no dirt on them.” Harley smiled and took the gloved hand allowing Ivy to help her to her feet. She rested all of her weight on her left foot. Ivy was staring down at her feet as she spoke. “Can you put any weight on it?” Harley tried but a sharp pain shot up her leg and she let out a yelp, teetering off balance. Ivy held her steady.</p><p>“Sorry Red, no can do.” Ivy nodded before looking up.</p><p>“Okay, Can I carry you?” Harley found it sweet that Ivy kept asking permission for things, she knew it had been a result of a not so secret conversation with Frank in the kitchen last night. While she had indeed found some of her actions strange the night before, she in no way faulted the green skinned woman for them and she felt flattered that Ivy was making such an effort to make her feel comfortable.</p><p>“Sure Pammy, you’re gonna be real buff by the time my ankle heals up.” Ivy laughed a little at that as she scooped Harley up into her arms. Harley enjoyed the sound of her husky laughter and decided that she wanted to hear more of it, as often as possible. Ivy gently set Harley down on the closed seat of the toilet before stepping back.</p><p>“Okay, so there’s a clean set of clothes by the sink, and a fresh towel on the rack and a new toothbrush on the counter. There’s also some oils and stuff if you want to add them to your bath. I guess just give me a shout when you need me to carry you out.” Ivy turned to leave.</p><p>“Ives, I think I’m gonna need your help gettin’ in the tub.” Harley felt a little embarrassed by the request, but she knew that she wouldn’t be able to get into the bathtub by herself. Ivy nodded and moved towards her as if to lift her again. “I um... I need to get undressed first.”</p><p>“Right. Okay.” Ivy watched her for a couple of moments before Harley raised an eyebrow at her. Ivy seemed to shake herself and she turned around quickly giving Harley a bit of privacy as she undressed. Harley stripped off her clothes, suddenly nervous, why was she nervous? She’d never been shy about her body, and with gymnastics she’d changed and showered in front of her fair share of women. Harley shook her head clearing her thoughts before catching Ivy’s attention.</p><p>“Okay.” To her credit Ivy kept her eyes trained on Harley’s face the whole time. She lowered Harley down into the warm water, and Harley felt a bit guilty knowing that her shirt would be completely soaked when she pulled away. Except when Ivy pulled away she didn’t leave the room in a rush like Harley expected her to, instead she reached over for the bandage on Harley’s right foot, slowly starting to unravel it, Harley watched in a trance as Ivy’s gentle fingers carefully started to remove the bandage before stilling halfway through.</p><p>“Oh shit, sorry.” Ivy’s words pulled Harley from her trance and she watched as the dark green flush started creeping up the other woman’s neck. “I-uh- I just thought you wouldn’t want to get the bandage wet… I should’ve asked, I’m sorry. I’ll leave.” Before Ivy could move Harley placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.</p><p>“It’s okay, you’re right I shouldn’t get it wet, you can take it off.” The truth was that Harley was very much capable of removing the bandage herself, but something about the slow careful way that Ivy handled her made chills race up her spine. Ivy nodded without turning around, and Harley felt grateful for that, she didn’t know what she’d say if she had to face those piercing emerald eyes in this moment. Ivy carefully unraveled the rest of the bandage, rolling it up neatly and placing it by the foot of the tub before tracing a gloved finger over Harley’s injured ankle.</p><p>Harley tried to focus on her hands, she really did, but her eyes drifted, and as she had suspected the front of Ivy’s shirt was soaked clean through. Harley bit her lip as her gaze skimmed over Ivy’s form. She had known Ivy was a beautiful woman, of course she had, she wasn’t blind, she had known it before she’d even met the other woman, but this, her body so close to Harley’s, her shirt clinging so tightly to her chest, this was something Harley was unprepared for. The shock that ran straight to her core made Harley squeeze her thighs together, and perhaps noticing the shift of Harley’s legs, Ivy spoke.</p><p>“Sorry, I just… do you think it’s fractured? Should we go get an x-ray?” The concern that laced through Ivy’s voice made Harley feel guilty, here she had been entertaining lurid thoughts about Ivy, while Ivy was fretting over her injury. It made Harley feel like an absolute heel, and she cleared her throat forcing the thoughts out of her head before answering.</p><p>“No, I don’t think it’s fractured, it’ll be right as rain soon enough, you’ll see.” Ivy turned to meet her gaze worry etched on her face.</p><p>“If you’re sure… okay, yes, okay.” Ivy nodded and stood up straight but made no move to leave, instead looking down at Harley for several moments. Harley felt shame and panic rise up in her under Ivy’s stare, her thoughts immediately jumping to the worst conclusions. What if the woman wanted something from her? She’d stayed there for free, Ivy had taken such good care of her, maybe she expected something in return. Did she want to watch Harley bathe? It wouldn’t have been such a high price to pay for the kindness she’d received, but could Harley push her discomfort down enough to do it? Harley cleared her throat uncomfortably, her mind unable to get over the embarrassment of having the other woman’s gaze on her body. Ivy seemed to snap out of it and she turned on her heel calling out over her shoulder as she quickly walked out. “Okay, uh, good talk. Bye.”</p><p>When Harley was ready to leave the bath, it was Frank who came to help her out of the tub instead of Ivy and when she’d gotten dressed it was Frank who carried her down the stairs instead of Ivy. Harley felt tension building in her stomach as she saw Ivy sitting stalk straight on the arm chair of the living room. Frank helped her settle into the sofa and Harley cast a nervous glance to Ivy, who seemed to actively be avoiding her gaze.</p><p>Ivy tensed her jaw before turning to Frank and speaking as if Harley wasn’t even in the room. “Stay with her. I’ll be back before lunch.” With that she got up and left the house without another word. Frank reached over Harley and clicked on the television. Harley tried to focus on the pictures on the screen, but they all started swimming together. Harley felt the tears drift down her cheeks and she tried to hold them back, but she couldn’t.</p><p>It was all too much. First she’d forced Puddin’ to kick her out, then she’d been stupid enough to get cornered and now she’d made Ivy mad. She didn’t even know exactly what it was that she had done wrong, was it because she kept laughing at Ivy? She hadn’t meant it in a cruel way, she just found the other woman’s awkwardness endearing. Was it because she’d been an ingrate? She should have thanked her more, more profusely she knew. Was it because she was an inconvenience? Surely Ivy had more important things to do than to take care of her, and here she was taking up all of her time. Had she noticed Harley’s less than innocent stares in the bathroom? It didn’t seem like she had, but maybe she did. Was it because Harley wouldn’t take a bath in front of her? Ivy didn’t seem the type but she had been staring at Harley for a long time. Did she think Harley was a tease? Harley hadn’t meant to be.</p><p>A sob escaped Harley’s throat before she could catch it and just as soon as it reached the air Frank wrapped around her. Harley pushed her face into the vine as she wept and Frank seemed to cradle her a bit more tightly. “I’m sorry Frank, I didn’t mean ta make her mad, really I didn’t.” The vine, unable to respond, just held Harley close as she wept.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Headcannon (which since I'm the author is that just cannon cannon? Or Fic cannon?) : Harley has seen Ivy on TV/in newspapers and always thought she was a hot hot hottie, did that have any influence whatsoever on her choice to start sending letters to Ivy? ... I mean... probably. </p><p>Also, poor Harley hasn't had anyone give her a gentle touch in so damn long, she NEEDS this. fr</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. A History of Ivy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger Warning: Brief mentions of past abuse, graphic depiction of violence, mentions of physical abuse. Honestly I don't think most of it is that bad, and if you're familiar with some of Ivy's comic book origin stories then none of it should be surprising. There is one memory/flashback that's a little rough it's in italics and in brackets if you want to skip over it.</p><p>Anyone who is particularly sensitive to these types of triggers, tbh you could probably just skip the whole chapter, there's not a lot of plot, just the characters getting to know information about each other that the audience pretty much already knows. </p><p>If you decide to skip it see the endnotes, I'll give a brief summary of what happened.</p><p>Thanks for reading and stay well</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">A History of Ivy</span>
</p><p>“Francis Isley you put me down this fucking instant!” Ivy struggled against the vines as they propelled her towards the house.  “You know what? I’m getting real fucking tired of being flung around like a fucking rag doll Frank!”</p><p><strong><em>Ivy shut the fuck up, I don’t know what the fuck you did to blonde gir-</em></strong> “Harley”</p><p><strong><em>Okay, whatever Harley. You fucked up! You need to go fix it.</em></strong> Ivy grimaced but didn’t struggle anymore. She knew she had made the other woman uncomfortable that morning, she hadn’t meant to but it was clear that she had. “Wait wait… I don’t… just hold on.” It might have been the hint of pleading in Ivy’s voice, or perhaps the fact that she wasn’t struggling anymore, but Frank relented, stopping a couple of feet in front of the house.</p><p><strong><em>What did you do?</em></strong> “I don’t know… I think I made her uncomfortable. I didn’t mean to, I put her in the bath and when I went to leave I guess I stared too long…”</p><p><strong><em>Fucking shit</em></strong> <strong><em>Ivy!</em></strong> “I know! I know! I swear I wasn’t being like a pervert or anything, I just saw her scars and I started thinking about human fragility and then that led to something else and then another thing…. And you know when I get lost in thought I just stare of into space! … I fucked up.”</p><p><strong><em>Yeah you did and that’s real creepy and problematic behavior…but I don’t think that’s the problem.</em></strong> “What do you mean?”</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>She thinks you’re angry at her Ivy, she was crying for like an hour after you left. </em>
  </strong>
</p><p>Ivy felt her heart wrench at that, she had hurt this lovely woman who’d been nothing but kind to her and her plants, she hadn’t meant to but she did nonetheless. Ivy’s mind ran through all of the things that she’d done that morning that could have possibly made Harley think she was mad at her, but she couldn’t come up with anything.  There was some missing link, some intricacy of appropriate human behavior that Ivy must have lost sight of over the years, something that when done indicated anger.</p><p>Perhaps it was a look, or a gesture, maybe even a slightly wrong word choice, something that Ivy had done off handedly without realizing its implications. Something that seemed so insignificant and natural to Ivy that she hadn’t even realized it was wrong. Something that had hurt Harley so badly that the other woman fell to tears. Perhaps Ivy was foolish for thinking she could ever become friends with a human, perhaps Ivy was too inhuman for that. She had wanted so desperately to be friends with Harley, but perhaps her desire was selfish. Ivy sighed dejectedly.</p><p>“Put me down Frank.” <strong><em>You’re going to fix it?</em></strong> “Yeah, I’m going to fix it.” <strong><em>Okay… don’t make it worse!</em></strong></p><p>Frank released Ivy and she slunk into the house. Harley looked up, her eyes red rimmed, cheeks tear stained, and Ivy felt more hate for herself in that moment than she could ever remember feeling. Harley opened her mouth to speak and Ivy held up a hand.</p><p>“Just, stop. Don’t say anything.” Harley snapped her mouth shut and looked down. Ivy grimaced, she was already messing this up. Ivy walked over to the living room and sat down on the arm chair facing Harley. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to…” Ivy sighed. “I need to tell you some things… to explain some things… I don’t… I’m not great at expressing myself… so if you could just listen… I would… I’d really appreciate if you could just… let me explain. Would that be okay?” Harley nodded, a weak ‘okay’ slipping from her lips but still not looking up at Ivy.</p><p>Ivy took a deep shuddering breath before beginning. “Okay… first and foremost, I’d like to apologize. I’m sorry that my behavior has been inappropriate and off-putting. More so than that I’m sorry that I’ve made you uncomfortable, I’m sorry that I’ve made you sad, I’m sorry that I made you believe I was angry with you. I don’t always know how- I don’t…” Ivy ran a hand through her hair trying to gather the words she needed.</p><p>“I’ve told you that I’m unused to human interaction. As such my ability to socialize has been impeded. But that’s not the only reason for my social ineptitude. I don’t know how much you know of my history, or even how much has been made available to the public but there are certain things that you should know.” Ivy chanced a glance at Harley, but the blonde was still not looking at her. Ivy cleared her throat.</p><p>“Right… here goes, I used to be human, completely, but a colleague, a mentor…a lover, took advantage of my ambition. He began injecting me with formulas, which at the time I thought were merely plant compounds made so that I could resist the negative effects of the plants we worked with. I was wrong. Eventually the injections changed me so completely that I was too weak to resist, too sick, too trapped by his abuse to fight back. I was at his mercy because he had convinced me that he was the only one who could have possibly saved me, and stupidly I believed him. In the end I died.”</p><p>Ivy looked up at the gasp that escaped Harley’s lips. She rushed to continue. “I came back. But when I did, I was different. I wasn’t entirely human anymore. I was more powerful, I had extraordinary abilities. I could produce pheromones that made men fall to their knees and I could bend trees at my will. I felt and heard plant life, I was connected to them in a way that I never dreamed possible. But my connection to humanity had deteriorated as a result. I could feel every single ounce of pain that humans inflicted on plant life and with that my anger grew and my empathy disappeared. After a while, I was able to reign in my anger, to focus it on only those that truly deserved it and then I died again.”</p><p>“This time when I came back, my skin was poisonous, toxic to any person who touched it. So I came here, to stay alone. Over the years I, I just continued to lose who I was, I can think of my past life, remember things, but most of my memories they feel almost as if they happened to another person completely. I don’t remember things I’m supposed to know. I don’t mean to hurt you with my actions. I just- I wanted so badly to just- to be friends with you but I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, I don’t know how to be human anymore Harley. I’m sorry.”</p><p>The last words left her lips in a pitiful whimper and Ivy pushed her face into her hands her hot tears coating her glove covered palms. When was the last time she’d cried? She couldn’t remember. Is this how she’d made Harley feel? The thought made fresh tears leak from her eyes.</p><p>“Thank you, fer tellin’ me all that.” Ivy nodded, wiping the tears from her eyes in an impatient motion. “Wouldja come sit next ta me Pammy?” Ivy stood up stiffly and sat next to Harley, still not looking up to meet the other woman’s gaze. Harley took one of Ivy’s gloved hands in her own, squeezing lightly. “I’m sorry too ya know?” Ivy looked up at that, confused. What on earth did Harley have to feel sorry for?</p><p>“Wh-“ Harley held up a finger and Ivy closed her mouth.</p><p>“I listened to ya, now you gotta listen to me, okay?” Ivy nodded at that and Harley continued. “It tears me up knowin’ that ya had ta go through all of that, that ya had ta feel all that pain, ya didn’t deserve it. An’ I guess hearin’ it now, it makes me understand some things. But Ives I don’t think for one second that any of that makes ya any less human… well except maybe fer the plant DNA…” Ivy laughed and Harley smiled at the sound, squeezing Ivy’s hand before continuing.</p><p>“You’re like the sweetest person I ever met, and ya been real kind ta me. I’m sorry fer gettin’ upset earlier, yesterday was a real rotten day, an’ I was kinda on edge already an’ when ya left this mornin’ ya didn’t look at me or speak ta me and I guess I jumped to some conclusions that I shouldn’ta. I ain’t always had people who were nice ta me and I guess it’s hard fer me ta believe that people can be genuinely good sometimes. Anyway, I promise I’ll try not ta get upset from here on out, okay?” Ivy frowned at that.</p><p>“Harley… I don’t want you to pretend to be happy all the time… I mean… if I do something that upsets you, it’s okay to be upset.” Harley shook her head.</p><p>“Oh no Red, that ain’t no good. I can’t be upset with ya for makin’ me sad if ya didn’t mean to.”</p><p>“But I don’t want to make you sad and if you don’t tell me when I make you sad, then I’ll just keep doing it, and you’ll keep getting sad… unless… unless you don’t want to be friends with me anymore, which I guess makes sense I-“</p><p>“Hey, no, look at me Red.” Ivy turned her eyes to Harley, only to be met with an intense blue gaze. “I will always want to be your friend Ivy, always. Ya don’t gotta worry about that, not ever. Okay?” Ivy smiled and nodded. “Good. Now since I can’t do what I really wanna do, which is give ya a big ole wet kiss, I’m gonna need ya to hug me.” Ivy laughed then immediately swallowed the laughter realizing that Harley was not kidding.</p><p>“Um... okay… I haven’t… how... what should I…” Harley chuckled and wrapped her arms around Ivy in a tight embrace. Ivy held her arms out stiffly for a moment before awkwardly and lightly resting them on Harley’s back. After a few moments Harley pulled back smiling at Ivy.</p><p>“We’re gonna need ta work on your huggin’ skills Red, lucky fer you I’m a real touchy person, so I can teach ya real good.” Ivy blushed.</p><p>“Okay... I’d like that. Thank you.” Harley smiled brightly at her and Ivy couldn’t help but return the smile. Ivy was about to say something else when she remembered something. She shot up from the sofa, making it halfway across the house before turning around and giving a hasty explanation for her abrupt actions. “I… uh.. sorry. I forgot that I had a lot of stuff out in the car, and I need to get it before it goes bad, I’m not angry I just have to-“ Ivy was cut off with a laugh from Harley.</p><p>“It’s okay Red, I understand. Go get what ya need ta get.” Ivy nodded tightly at that.</p><p>“Yes, okay, thank you. Um… goodbye.” With that Ivy spun on her heel and made a quick beeline to her car, with everything that had happened Ivy had completely forgotten about the very perishable items she’d left in the black hatchback.</p><p>Once Ivy had returned and put everything away, including the perishables that thankfully had not perished, Harley insisted on cooking dinner for the two. Ivy protested weakly but in truth Ivy was relieved to have time to spend in her lab while the other girl cooked. It had been three long years since she first moved into the park and Ivy couldn’t remember a single day when she had not made time to work in her greenhouse (which doubled as her lab).</p><p>After an hour or two of gratifying progress Ivy shifted in her chair, stretching out and taking stock of the plants in her greenhouse. Noting that all of the plants seemed well and sated Ivy made her way to the house intending on getting a glass of water before heading back to work. When she opened the door of the house the mouthwatering smell of sautéed garlic and onions overwhelmed her. Had anything she’d ever cooked smelled this good? No, definitely not. Curiosity getting the best of her, Ivy hovered behind the blonde chef, trying to get a glimpse of what she was cooking.</p><p>“Uh-uh, no peekin’ Red! Dinner’ll be done in about a half-hour, ya can get a snack ta hold ya over till then if ya need, but don’tcha dare open that oven.”  Ivy frowned but acquiesced nonetheless.</p><p> Ivy filled a cup with water and made her way back to her lab. Once there she shifted her gaze from the long time project she’d been working on to a much older, long forgotten project. She’d not given much thought to it in quite some time but thinking of the small blonde in her kitchen, warmhearted and fragile, Ivy thought that perhaps it was time to revisit her research.</p><p>Ivy dusted off the old notebook, pouring over her old sloppy notes, scanning over immunoassays and antigens, getting lost in formulas, and cross-referencing more recent work, Ivy hadn’t even noticed when Frank pushed open the door of her greenhouse. She hadn’t bothered a glance up when a flash of blonde hair passed through her peripheral vision, she had only barely registered the soft clearing of a throat from beside her. So when Ivy looked to the side she was taken aback by the piercing blue eyes studying her.</p><p>Harley smiled guiltily, “Heya Red, sorry for startlin’ ya, ya looked real concentrated so I didn’t want ta disturb ya.” Ivy shook her head clear before responding.</p><p>“No, no it’s quite all right, I tend to get lost in thought sometimes.” Harley smiled gently.</p><p>“Yeah, I noticed. I just came in here to tell ya that dinner’s ready but it looks like you’re workin’ on somethin’ real important, so I can keep it warm fer later, or maybe bring a plate out to ya here if ya want…” Ivy shook her head, almost surprising herself at her immediate dismissal of the idea. Most nights Ivy would whip up something quickly and eat at her workstation, not wanting to impede her progress, but for the first time in a long time Ivy felt that there was something worth stopping her work for.</p><p>“No, no, you needn’t do that. I’ll clear this up and come inside, I’m eager to try the food you’ve been cooking, it smelled delicious.” Harley lit up at the compliment and Ivy knew she’d said the right thing.</p><p>A few moments later Ivy walked into the house, pausing at the sight of the dining room table. Usually it housed stacks of books and papers, but now it was cleared and set beautifully. In the center of the table sat two long stick candles that Ivy had no recollection of buying and a bottle of red wine. On either side of the table sat two plates filled with a mouthwatering dish that Ivy couldn’t readily identify and moments later Frank appeared cradling the small blonde gently before setting her down easily on a chair. Harley looked up nervously at Ivy and Ivy wrinkled her eyebrows in confusion.</p><p>“Sorry if it’s too much Ives… I just… I just never get ta eat at the table with anyone, Puddin’s always so busy, so I end up eatin’ alone most nights.” Ivy made her way to the opposite end of the table and sat down across from Harley before speaking.</p><p>“Well if you don’t mind my saying so, he’s an imbecile because this all looks amazing. Thank you for this Harley, I haven’t had the pleasure of someone’s company in quite some time. Frank and I… we don’t exactly eat the same things.” Harley giggled at that before pouring out two glasses of wine and handing one to Ivy.</p><p>“Well here’s to not eatin’ alone.” Ivy tapped her glass to Harleys before taking a small sip of the wine. Ivy rarely drank and she didn’t think now was the appropriate time to overindulge. Ivy set the glass down before picking up her fork and taking a small bite of the food in front of her. Her eyes closed at the taste and an embarrassing moan left her lips before she could stop it.</p><p>“Oh Harley, this is amazing.” Harley smiled, her chest puffing up with pride at Ivy’s words.</p><p>“Thanks Red, it’s my grandma’s eggplant parm recipe. I’m glad ya like it.” Ivy nodded eagerly, not responding as her mouth was full of another bite. They finished the rest of the meal in companionable silence and Ivy moved to clear the table.</p><p>“Oh ya don’t gotta do that Red, I’ll take care of it.” Ivy shook her head.</p><p>“No, don’t be silly Harley, you cooked, the least I can do is clean up. Why don’t I take you over to the living room and I’ll bring us out some dessert.” At the mention of dessert Harley grinned broadly and Ivy had to stifle a chuckle at the childlike expression on the other woman’s face.</p><p>Ivy cleaned the dishes and went to join Harley in the other room with two bowls of ice cream. She handed one to Harley who eagerly took it and beamed up at Ivy. Ivy moved to sit at the armchair when a soft tug on her sleeve urged her towards the sofa instead.</p><p>“Sit nexta me Pammy, I wanna snuggle with ya while we watch TV.” Ivy failed to hide her surprise and Harley grinned pointing her spoon at her before speaking. “I tolda I was a touchy person Pam, if we’re gonna be friends ya gotta get used to it.” Ivy nodded sitting down next to the blonde who almost immediately snuggled into her side. Ivy was unused to physical affection, but she had to admit she enjoyed the blonde’s attention, even if it did make her skin flush with embarrassment.</p><p>Ivy turned her attention to the television, “Oh, this is the program that I enjoy.”</p><p>“Yeah, I’ve never seen it before, so I figured we could watch it from the beginning together, if that’s okay.” Ivy nodded.</p><p>“Yes, that’s good, it’s quite funny. I think you’ll like it.” It was several episodes later before Ivy turned her attention to the blonde again. There was something bothering her and she’d wanted to ask Harley about it but didn’t know if it was appropriate. Harley sensing her stare turned to Ivy with a questioning glance.</p><p>“Ya okay Red?” Ivy nodded trying to decide how to broach the subject.</p><p>“Yes.. I just… I was thinking about something.” Harley reached over and paused the episode playing on the television, turning in her seat to face Ivy more fully.</p><p>“What’s up Doc?” Harley chortled at her own joke and Ivy shook her head in amusement before responding.</p><p>“There’s something I’d like to ask you about… but I’m not sure if it’s appropriate and I don’t want you to be upset with me.” Ivy nervously wrung her fingers in her hand as she spoke and Harley placed a gentle hand over hers stilling her motion before intertwining their fingers and squeezing gently.</p><p>“It’s okay Ives, you can ask, I promise I won’t get upset.” Ivy hesitated for a moment more before nodding resolutely and continuing.</p><p>“It’s just you keep mentioning your boyfriend and whenever you do…” Ivy paused trying to gather her thoughts. “It just seems like he’s unkind to you… and now that I know who you are and I know who he is... while I don’t know him personally, Jack has always seemed… malicious. And this morning in the bath I noticed… you have quite a few scars and I guess I just worried… he… he doesn’t hurt you… does he?”</p><p>Ivy felt Harley’s hand slip from her own and when she looked up the other woman had turned away from her, facing the television set again. Ivy grimaced, perhaps it wasn’t her place to ask, but she’d been so overwhelmed with concern for the other woman that she couldn’t help herself. Ivy sat silently struggling for something to say until she heard Harley’s soft voice.</p><p>“Ya don’t understand Red… he’s… he doesn’t mean to.” Ivy’s stomach lurched. “It’s just he can’t help himself sometimes, I just... I make him so mad. It’s not his fault.” Ivy couldn’t wrap her head around the words a question popping out of her lips before she could stop it.</p><p>“Then whose fault is it?” Ivy watched as Harley’s shoulders tensed her response coming out in barely a whisper.</p><p>“…mine.” The soft word made sadness roil in her stomach and anger shoot up in her chest. Her mind flashed to one of the few memories that remained steadfast in her brain.</p><p>
  <em>[{A woman lying at the bottom of a grand stairwell, arms and legs twisted at unnatural angles, red hair haloing her unmoving face, blood slowly pooling out from under her, lifeless green eyes staring out at a frightened young girl. Ivy closed her eyes against the memory, pushing it back as she took a steadying breath.}]</em>
</p><p>“Harley, look I know that there’s nothing I can say or do that could change your mind about him… But I need you to know that no matter what he says or does… none of it, absolutely none of it, is your fault. No one deserves to be mistreated by the ones that they love… and no matter what I will always be here for you. Whenever you need me, whatever you need me for, I will be here, I swear it.”</p><p>Harley looked up at her, eyes rimmed with tears and Ivy had to force herself not to say all of the hateful things she wanted to say about the Joker. Ivy didn’t know much about the human experience, but abuse was something she’d been a bit of an unwilling expert on. She knew from experience that attacking Harley’s abuser would only make matters worse. She didn’t want to push Harley away, she needed Harley to know she had an out, a safe place to go, if she ever needed it.</p><p>“Harley, will you promise me something?” Harley hesitated for a moment, searching Ivy’s eyes for something, what, Ivy was unsure of, but seemingly finding what she was looking for, she nodded. “Will you promise me that if there’s ever a day that you need to, or want to leave... that you’ll remember that you have somewhere to go and that you can count on me for whatever you need. Can you promise me that?” Harley nodded weakly, tears slipping from her eyes as she spoke softly.</p><p>“Okay… I promise Red.” Ivy hesitated for a moment wanting to comfort the crying woman but being uncertain as to how to do so. Ivy reached a stiff hand over to the other woman tapping her shoulder haphazardly in an awkward ‘there, there’ motion. Harley chuckled despite her tears before turning slightly and wrapping her arms around Ivy’s midsection. Ivy stiffened in surprise but allowed herself to be pushed backwards on the sofa, Harley snuggled against her, her head pressed to Ivy’s chest. Ivy wrapped her arms around the sniffling woman and that’s where they stayed for the remainder of the night.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Trigger Warning Summary: Harley finds out Ivy wasn't mad at her at all, she's just a cute lil awkward mess who doesn't realize that when you ignore people they think you're upset with them. Essentially Ivy explains why she's so socially awkward (which you can piece together from the previous chapters). Ivy finds out that Joker abuses Harley and there is a flash back to a previous trauma in Ivy's life that makes her particularly sensitive to Harley's situation. </p><p>Other Note: Bruh, I just finished writing chapter 19 and holy shit, I'm sad as fuck right now. Also, the next two chapters are ones that I went back and wrote into the story after the fact, to build up their relationship further, and also mostly to avoid writing chapter 19, cause, have I mentioned that I'm sad? I need to go watch some cute puppy videos for some serotonin fr. </p><p>Tldr: i sad, extra chapters coming, maybe 22 chapters total for the fic?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. I’m Just Thinkin’ Bout It</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>No trigger warnings for this one, as always if you see something say something. </p><p>This chapter is however rated T for a teensy amount of Harley being a pervert, lol. </p><p>Other note: I added a brief dialogue in this chapter talking about how Ivy knew who Harley was, my headcannon (fic cannon?) was just that Harley's first name is unique enough that she needed no further introduction. Idk maybe you guys expected Ivy to freak out about it? But Ivy's a cute lil hermit who don't give a fuck about nobody lol. Robinson Park is a judgement free zone... except for Frank, he'll judge the shit out of you.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">I’m Just Thinkin’ Bout It</span>
</p><p>Wed, Jun, 12, 9:00 a.m.</p><p>Harley: good mornin’ puddin’! hope ur havin’ a good time on ur trip! *Smiley Face* *heart Emoji* </p><p>Harley: hey puddin’, i no ur probably real busy, workin’ real hard. when ya get back ill give ya a nice reward 4 all ur hard work. *kissy face* 1:00 p.m.</p><p>Harley: nite puddin’ hope everythin’s okay, talk to ya tom 11:30pm</p><p>Thu, Jun, 13, 9:30 a.m.</p><p>Harley: mornin’ puddin’! hope ur day is goin’ swell, *smiley face*</p><p>Harley: hey puddin’, i miss ya *sad face* 12:00pm</p><p>Harley: nite puddin’, wouldja call me if ya get a chance? it dont matter what time it is, i just wanna hear ur voice.  10:00pm (Read 11:05pm)</p><p> </p><p>Harley sighed as she thumbed through the messages, it had been almost a week since Mr. J left town, and Harley had messaged him every single day since then, but she hadn’t gotten a single message back. She knew he was busy and that she shouldn’t take it personally, but it still bothered her. Didn’t he miss her at all? Maybe he was mad at her for sending so many messages, Harley frowned, she didn’t want to make Mr. J angry, but she just wanted to know how he was doing. When he’d come back, if he missed her, anything really.</p><p>Harley bit her lip as she read through her messages again, all 145 of them, she’d told him about her injury, and how she was spending most of her days reading comic books and watching television but she hadn’t mentioned Ivy at all. She knew she probably should, Mr. J would want her to be honest with him, but it felt wrong somehow to talk about Ivy with him. She didn’t know why exactly, but every time she typed Ivy’s name she went back and deleted it.</p><p>It wasn’t that she wasn’t excited about her time with Ivy, she was, she loved being with the other woman, and she felt like she could scream off the rooftops about how wonderful Ivy was. Ivy was special, really special to Harley, she was smart and fun to be around, and even if she didn’t like all of the same things that Harley did, she was always willing to try, just to make Harley happy. She was so sweet and so kind to Harley and she made Harley feel happier than she’d felt in a really long time. Maybe that was the reason she never mentioned Ivy to Mr. J, because she knew it was wrong to let someone else make her that happy, someone who wasn’t him. A soft knock interrupted Harley’s thoughts, and Harley deleted the message she was typing before shoving her phone in her pocket and calling out.</p><p>“Come in.” Ivy as usual poked her head in shyly.</p><p>“Oh good you’re up, I hope I’m not bothering you, it’s just… breakfast is ready.” Harley smiled warmly at Ivy, no matter how many times they’d done this morning routine, Ivy always seemed to be nervous about it.</p><p>“It’s okay Red, I just finished gettin’ changed. Breakfast sounds great.” Ivy smiled and walked more fully into the room.</p><p> “How is your ankle feeling?”</p><p>“Still real sore Red.” The truth was Harley’s ankle was feeling a lot better, and Harley knew she should tell Ivy that, but she didn’t want to leave. She knew once her ankle was healed she’d have no other reason to stay, Ivy would have no reason to want her to stay and she loved being there with Ivy so much. She felt really bad about lying to the other woman, but she couldn’t bring herself to tell the truth.</p><p>“Would it be okay if I carried you?” Harley smiled brightly at Ivy and nodded.</p><p>“Yeah, I’d like that Pammy.” Ivy nodded and swiftly scooped Harley up into her arms. This was another reason Harley lied, though she wouldn’t admit it, Harley loved being doted on by the red headed woman. Ivy was so gentle with her, so indulging of her and so willing to give into Harley’s desire for physical affection and it made Harley feel safe and loved. Feelings, that were she being honest she would admit she hadn’t felt in years.</p><hr/><p>Harley watched as the long green fingers danced nervously across the table top. They’d just finished breakfast and Harley was expecting Ivy to help her to the living room and head to her lab as she usually did, but instead Ivy sat across from her tapping her fingers anxiously against the smooth wooden surface of the small dining room table.</p><p>Harley had only been here a couple of days but she was already familiar with Ivy’s nervous ticks, Ivy had something to say to her, but whatever it was made her anxious. Harley pulled her gaze away from the slender fingers and watched Ivy’s face as she looked down at the table in front of her, opening her mouth to speak then deciding against it and closing it. This happened several more times before Harley decided to help the other woman out.</p><p>“Ives?” Ivy looked up almost startled at Harley’s voice and Harley had to stifle a giggle.</p><p>“Uh… yes?”</p><p>“Wouldja put your gloves on for a second?” Ivy seemed confused at the request but nodded anyway reaching across the table to grab the gloves and put them on. As soon as her hands were in the gloves Harley wrapped her fingers around Ivy’s hands rubbing her thumbs in circular motions across Ivy’s palms. They sat like that in silence for several moments before Ivy spoke.</p><p>“There’s some work I have to do outside today… um… there’s a birdhouse that I need to fix and um… some plants that need to be harvested, it’s uh… it’s nice outside today.” Ivy paused, her thumb nervously flicking at her pointer finger, Harley squeezed her hand gently encouraging her to continue.</p><p>“I was wondering if um… if you wanted to join me? It’s just you’ve been in the house this whole time and I thought maybe you were bored and maybe you’d want to see the rest of the park, and I can show you where all the poisonous plants are so you know where to avoid and and um.. If you don’t want to it’s okay, I just-“ Harley interrupted the nervous spew of words.</p><p>“I’d love to Red. That sounds real nice.” Harley watched as a look of relief spread over the other woman’s face and Harley couldn’t help herself, she threw her arms around Ivy in a tight hug, Ivy for her part made a surprised noise and after a couple of seconds of awkward fidgeting finally rested her hands gently on Harley’s back. “You’re real sweet for invitin’ me. Thank you.”</p><p>Ivy nodded stiffly as she pulled away, her face flushing. “Yes… well… thank you for saying yes.” Ivy pointed her thumb over her shoulder towards the stairs, “um I have to change into some gardening clothes, Frank can take you outside, or if you want you can wait here and I’ll take you outside or-“ Harley chuckled.</p><p>“It’s okay Red, I’ll hang out with Frankie, you just join us whenever you’re ready.” Ivy nodded at that and quickly made her way up the stairs. A few moments later Harley found herself sitting on a soft patch of grass overlooking an impressive vegetable garden as Frank wiggled around in front of her. Over the past couple of days the two of them had started working on a more thorough series of signals in order to better communicate with each other, it was still rough around the edges, but they were able to communicate a lot better now.</p><p>“So the guy tried to climb you?” <strong><em>Yes. </em></strong></p><p>What the hell? Was he high?” <strong><em>Think yes.</em></strong></p><p>Harley laughed then paused, “hey if ya eat someone who’s high, do you get high? Like a human edible?” <strong><em>No. But taste better.</em></strong></p><p>“High people taste better?” <strong><em>Yes.</em></strong></p><p>Harley was about to say something else but her words died in her throat when Ivy walked over to them. Ivy was wearing a pair of blue denim overalls that hugged her curves in all the right places. The denim was ripped in several places from use, and one strap of the overalls was seemingly missing the closure and hung open. Under the overalls all she wore was a black sports bra and Harley could see the other woman’s defined green abs poking out from under the material.</p><p>“Holy shit Pam you look hot!” Harley blurted the words before she could stop herself and Ivy blushed at the praise.</p><p>“Oh… well… um… thank you. You look nice as well… I mean… you always look nice... uh… I have to pick vegetables now…” Harley giggled as Ivy quickly walked over to the vegetable patch clearly flustered. Harley watched Ivy work in silence for a long while, admiring as the other woman’s muscles glistened under the morning sun. Ever since the incident in the bathtub Harley tried to keep her gaze as innocent as possible, but she was only human after all, and watching Ivy work in her garden convinced Harley that Ivy was a goddess amongst men. Still, she supposed that leering wasn’t very polite so she opted for conversation, at least then she’d have a good reason for staring, it was rude after all, to not look at a person when they’re talking to you.</p><p>“Hey Ives?” Ivy glanced over to her as she plucked an eggplant from its vine.</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“How come ya know who I am?” Ivy shot her a confused look.</p><p>“I’m not sure I follow.”</p><p>“Well, when I first got here ya called me sweet pea ‘cause ya didn’t know my name.” Ivy flushed and busied herself by checking other vegetables for ripeness before responding.</p><p>“Yes, I remember that. You told me your name though.” Harley nodded.</p><p>“Right, but ya didn’t recognize me by lookin’ at me, so how’dja know who I was?” Ivy scrunched her eyebrows up.</p><p>“You told me your name…. is this some kind of riddle?” Harley laughed.</p><p>“Naw Red, I’m just tryin’ ta figure out when ya put two n’ two together an’ figured out that I was Joker’s sidekick is all.” Ivy raised an eyebrow at that.</p><p>“His sidekick? I thought you were his partner, though I suppose that titles or positions are really just a matter of semantics… still though you would think it would be easier to refer to you as a partner, because you’re romantic partners, so then you’d have just the one title: partner. Though I suppose if you wanted to separate work and romance then having separate titles might not be such a bad thing, still sidekick sounds rather derogatory. On the other hand…”</p><p>Ivy was staring off into space as she rambled on. For the most part Ivy was not the talkative type, but once in a while she would get so wrapped up in thinking out loud or explaining something that she would go off on tangents. Harley thought it was adorable and she couldn’t help but giggle at the far off expression on the other woman’s face. Ivy seemed to snap out of it at the sound of Harley’s giggle.</p><p>Ivy blushed before rushing to continue, “Sorry right your question. Um…well Harley you do have a rather unique name, there aren’t many Harley’s around.” Harley nodded at that.</p><p>“Yeah, I guess it’s not a common name, it should be tho, it’s a real good name.” Ivy chuckled.</p><p>“It is a very good name. Also I didn’t remember right away, but we’ve actually met before.” Harley sat up straighter at that. She’s met Ivy before? When? How come she couldn’t remember it?</p><p>“No way! You’re pullin’ my chain Red, there’s no way I met ya an’ can’t remember it.” Ivy plucked a tomato from its vine and placed it into the crate next to her.</p><p>“Well, you were rather intoxicated, and it was several years ago, so it doesn’t surprise me that you don’t remember.” Harley racked her brain, she’d gotten black out drunk many times in her life so it wasn’t exactly surprising to hear that she might have been too drunk to remember meeting Ivy. Still it bothered her that she couldn’t remember the event.</p><p>“Well shucks Red, I’m awful sorry I don’t remember it, where was it at?”</p><p>“It’s fine, like I said it was several years ago, at least four if memory serves, and it was at the Ice Lounge.”  Harley nodded, she and Mr. J spent a lot of time at the Ice Lounge that year, it made sense.</p><p>“Wait, but if I was there with Mr. J, then I was wearin’ my jester outfit wasn’t I?” Ivy nodded.</p><p>“The hat, and the face paint, you were wearing a dress I believe.”</p><p>“Right, so how’d that help you realize who I was then?”</p><p>“Well aside from your unique name, you also have a very distinct voice Harley, face paint or not I’d recognize that voice anywhere.” Harley smiled, then frowned, was that an insult or a compliment? She couldn’t tell.</p><p>“Are ya makin’ fun of my accent Red?” Ivy chuckled.</p><p>“No Harley, I like your accent.” Harley searched her face for a lie.</p><p>“Are ya sure? Ya don’t gotta lie. Lotsa people say my voice is gratin’.” Ivy frowned at that.</p><p>“I’m one hundred percent sure that I enjoy your accent Harley. You have a very colorful way of speaking, I find it refreshing. As for the people who say your voice is grating, well they clearly need a hearing examination.” Harley smiled brightly at that.</p><p>“Aww that’s real sweet Red!” Ivy blushed again and made her way over to her wheelbarrow.</p><p>“Right well… I’m done with this area, shall we move on?” Harley chuckled and nodded.</p><p>“Sure thing Red.”</p><p>As Ivy pushed her wheelbarrow forward she gestured to different sections of the park.</p><p>“Over there is the visitor’s center, I never bothered to repurpose it so it mostly just has raccoons and other wildlife in there, they don’t bother my plants and they’re a valuable part of the ecosystem so I don’t mind them. Across from the visitor’s center is the lake, it’s surrounded on three sides by trees so it’s quite private if you ever want to take a swim, can you swim?” Harley nodded.</p><p>“Yeah, I took classes at the Y when I was younger, an’ I was a lifeguard in high school.” Ivy smiled.</p><p>“That’s good, water safety is important. I’ve never been the strongest swimmer but I like to wade in there sometimes on especially hot days.” Harley pictured Ivy in a bikini running towards her in slow motion Baywatch style and she lost herself for a moment. When she shook her head free of the thoughts they were in front of a collapsed birdhouse just outside of what looked like another greenhouse.</p><p>“Wait Red, ya got two greenhouses?” Ivy looked over her shoulder at the structure in question and nodded.</p><p>“Yes, that was the original one I used before I built the one that is attached to the house. It’s much smaller, and I use it now to house plants that don’t require as much attention as others. Would you like to look inside?”</p><p>“Really? Ya sure it’s okay? I don’t wanna mess anythin’ up.” Ivy shook her head dismissing the idea.</p><p>“You needn’t worry about that, you won’t mess anything up. Come, I’ll show you.” Ivy opened the door of the greenhouse and gestured for Frank to help Harley into the small room. Harley looked around in wonder at all of the different beautiful flowers that were housed in the small greenhouse.</p><p>“Wow Red, they’re so pretty.” Ivy smiled proudly at that. Harley was about to say something else when a row of plants in the corner of the greenhouse caught her eye. “Aww are those lil baby Franks?” Ivy looked to where Harley was pointing and nodded.</p><p>“Somewhat, Frank is unique, he was one of my first successful hybridizations. These are designed to be similar to Frank but not exactly the same.” Harley nodded.</p><p>“’Cause ya don’t wanna have another plant ta argue with?” Ivy chuckled.</p><p>“No, Frank’s combativeness is not really the issue. You see I designed Frank with the purpose of creating a species that could defend itself and other plants against illegal loggers and the like. However due to the combination of his carnivorous tendencies and his sentience putting him into an environment like the Amazon would disrupt the natural ecosystem too greatly and would offset the benefits.” Harley raised an eyebrow at that.</p><p>“So ‘cause Frank’s got a personality and he eats meat he’s no good for the environment? … I don’t get it…” Ivy smiled lightly.</p><p>“Frank is a hybridization of a sundew plant and lianas vines, the sundew plant is carnivorous and needs additional nutrients from animals to survive, however the vines are not. Strictly speaking Frank could survive without eating meat if he got enough sunlight. However, since he is more human like, he has a tendency, like most humans to focus on desire rather than need.”</p><p>“So like he doesn’t need ta eat people but he wants to?” Ivy nodded. “But ain’t them illegal loggers bad people? Like shouldn’t he eat ‘em?” Ivy nodded again.</p><p>“Yes, but the goal of these hybrids is to deter loggers, after a number of the offenders are killed, the idea is that they will stop destroying the habitat, but if the project is successful these plants will still want to eat meat. Without loggers around they will turn to other animals in the rainforests, which would cause damage to the endangered species’ there.”</p><p>“oooh I get it, so you’re tryin’ to make versions of Frankie that won’t do that?” Ivy nodded again.</p><p>“Yes, unfortunately without adding my own DNA, which is what gives Frank his sentience, the plants have not been able to flourish properly. On the other hand, if I add my own DNA without any carnivorous plants they lack the resilience and aggression to survive for very long. So these plants are my latest attempt at trying to perfect the balance, it will be several more months before I find out if I’ve been successful or not.”</p><p>“Wow, that’s really somethin’ Red, what’re ya gonna do once ya get it all worked out? Send ‘em to all the forests in the world?”</p><p>“No, these are strictly for tropical rainforest habitats. Natural habitats are sensitive to change as such you have to be very careful when introducing new species, for deciduous forests like the ones most commonly found in the U.S. I’ve been working on a species of fungus, but since fungi are not plants in the strictest sense they are much harder for me to handle than other plants.”</p><p>“Mushrooms ain’t plants?”</p><p>“Not in the strictest sense, plants have chlorophyll, which is what allows them to photosynthesize, mushrooms don’t have that. Since they grow from the earth I have a bit of control over them but not to the extent that I have over other plants.”</p><p>“Huh, ya learn somethin’ new every day. You’re a real smart cookie ya know that Red?” Ivy chuckled good naturedly.</p><p>“Thank you Harley. I have to repair the birdhouse outside, would you like Frank to take you around the park some more? He knows which areas to avoid.” Harley shook her head.</p><p>“Naw, I’d rather hang out with you Pammy, if ya don’t mind.” Ivy smiled shyly at that.</p><p>“Yes, that’s… yes, okay.” Harley wished not for the first time that she could grab Ivy and kiss her. Ivy’s shyness made something stir inside of Harley something that made her want to smother the other woman with affection on a near constant basis. These thoughts probably should have made Harley feel guilty, but she reasoned that thoughts were just that and it never hurt anybody to think about things. Plus, sweet, touch starved Ivy deserved affection and Harley was just the girl to give it to her.</p><p>Harley was settled on a soft patch of grass again watching as Ivy went to work on the birdhouse. If Harley thought Ivy was attractive before, she was drop dead gorgeous now. Ivy’s eyebrows knit in concentration as she measured and sawed the wood needed to repair the birdhouse. Harley watched as her strong hands pushed the saw through the wood, the veins in her hands and forearms bulging with the effort.</p><p>Harley, not one to restrict her impulses, pulled her phone from her pocket and snapped a few inconspicuous photos of Ivy as she worked. And then, again because she had no impulse control, Harley called out to Ivy.</p><p>“Hey Ives, look up for a second wouldja? I wanna get a pic of ya for your contact info.” Ivy looked up from her work and frowned.</p><p>“But I’m covered in sweat, this is by far the least flattering time for a photograph Harley.”  Harley snickered snapping a few pictures as Ivy spoke before responding.</p><p>“Naw, ya look great Pammy, like a lil hard workin’ farm gal. Ya got a cowboy hat? That’d really top off the look.” Ivy chuckled and Harley snapped another picture. “Gimmie a lil shimmy Red.” Harley shook her shoulders as she said the words and Ivy sent her a withering look.</p><p>“Harleen, I will not ‘shimmy’ for you.” Harley felt a jolt of arousal run through her at the use of her proper name in that particular tone.</p><p>“Oooh I like it when ya call me Harleen.” Ivy chuckled and shook her head before returning to her work. Harley happily watched Ivy work, her eyes drifting over the strong green muscles slick with sweat flexing and relaxing with each movement. Harley knew she should feel remorseful for her less than innocent thoughts of the other woman, but there was no harm in just thinking, right?</p><hr/><p>Sat, Jun, 15, 11:00 a.m.</p><p>Harley: hey puddin’, hope everythin’ is ok</p><p>Mon, Jun, 17, 12:30 a.m.</p><p>Harley: *hand wave emoji*  (Read 1:09am)</p><p> </p><p>Harley sighed closing her texts without bothering to send a new one. She’d started sending fewer and fewer messages, less and less often, which she might have felt bad about if Mr. J had bothered to respond to any of them. As it was however, he hadn’t responded at all, which wasn’t unusual for him, but bothered Harley nonetheless. Perhaps it was because even though he didn’t respond to her, he still made the time to update his twitter about a million times a day, but no, that wasn’t unusual for him either. Still there was something new in Harley’s growing resentment towards Mr. J and his lack of concern for her.</p><p>Harley couldn’t pinpoint what exactly it was but it was as if she were growing more and more impatient with him. Like she wanted more from him? No, that wasn’t right, she’d always wanted more from Mr. J, always had lofty ideals of what their romance should or would be. It wasn’t that exactly, it was almost as if she expected more from him. But that made no sense either, why should her expectations of him suddenly change? She’d been content in the past with being an afterthought to him, he was after all a very busy and important man. Being an afterthought to someone as impressive as Mr. J had always felt like an honor to her before, but now, it fell short.</p><p>Harley sighed again, looking down at the time on her phone, it was half past nine, and while that wasn’t late in Harley’s book, it was unusual for Ivy not to be up by this time. Usually she was timidly tapping at Harley’s door no later than nine to ask her down to breakfast. Harley supposed that perhaps their late night swim may have left the other woman more tired than usual, perhaps Ivy was sleeping in. Harley bit her lip as she thought back at the previous night’s events.</p><p>It had been an exceptionally hot day and after two bowls of ice cream they’d decided they needed something else to cool down. Ivy suggested a dip in the lake to which Harley readily agreed, she didn’t have her own bathing suit and while Ivy had offered her one of her own Harley had waved it off. (“It’s okay Red, I like ta skinny dip, plus ya already saw me naked n’ wet before, so what’s the diff?”) Ivy had of course blushed head to toe and had made sure to avert her eyes as Harley undressed, but Harley had no such qualms about watching Ivy remove her towel to reveal a bikini that made Harley wish she’d had her camera with her.</p><p>The memory made a familiar tingle start low in Harley’s body. She tried for a moment to ignore it, but as always Harley had little control over her urges and she quickly pulled her phone out again opening her gallery to a set of images that at this point were nearly burned into her mind. Harley gnawed on her bottom lip as she scrolled through the photos, pausing occasionally to zoom in on tight abs, green cleavage, or full lips. Harley’s fingers strummed against the waist band of her shorts for several moments before she could resist no more and she pushed her hand inside.</p><p>Almost immediately Harley’s fingers met a rush of wetness at her center and she groaned. Harley had done this a handful of times before, and while she hadn’t exactly felt proud of her actions, she reasoned that so long as no one found out, there was no harm done. That and she was always so overcome with desire in those moments that she couldn’t give a rats ass about anything else.</p><p>Harley slid her fingers in tight circles over her slick flesh, getting more and more lost in her thoughts with each passing second. So lost in fact that she hadn’t heard the light knock at her door, nor had she realized her soft exclamations (“Yeah, mmm, fuck, Yeah!”) were getting louder and louder by the second. She was so lost that she hadn’t noticed the door creeping open, neither did she notice the nervous head popping in until she heard her voice.</p><p>“Sorry I’m running behind I-oh… OH!” Harley looked up just in time to see Ivy’s eyes widen in realization before she quickly and clumsily tried to exit the room, however in her haste Ivy’s foot caught on the rug and she fell forward slamming her head against the dresser. Ivy fell in a heap on the floor with a groan as she held her head in her hands. Harley immediately jumped from the bed to help the other woman. Maybe sometimes, just sometimes, thoughts could cause a tiny bit of harm.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>145 messages in less than a week, I honestly cackled when I wrote that. Gave me some Adore Delano, hello I love you vibes, I mean: "When you say I'm fucking crazy, I know you mean I'm cute." Is there any other lyric in the history of the universe that better describes Harley Quinn?</p><p>Also, formatting those texts like that was a pain in the ass, I'm def not doing it again lol, ya'll know what texts look like, use your imagination. </p><p>K, done now, as always thank you for reading and stay well.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. And They Were Roommates</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>No trigger warnings for this one, tho if ya see something say something.</p><p>Other note: I'm really channeling the whole<br/>"Harley: I knew it you're going to do something evil! That is great! <br/>Ivy: Yeah, you know I mean if we're still categorizing fighting to protect the environment as 'evil'."</p><p>Vibe for Ivy in this fic, she's not evil, she's just a lady with a clear goal, if she just so happens to have to murder people to reach her goal... eh... whaddya gonna do? lol</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">And They Were Roommates</span>
</p><p>“Holy fuckin’ shit! Ives are you okay?!” Ivy blinked feeling a bit dazed as the blonde hovered above her.</p><p>“I-“ Before she could say anything she was cut off by Harley’s frantic screaming.</p><p>“Jesus motherfuckin’ Christ! You’re bleedin’, holy fuck on a duck, I ain’t got no gloves. FRANK!! Is Frank in the house? FRANK I NEED YOUR HELP, BRING ME GLOVES IVY’S HURT!” Ivy winced at the sound of Harley yelling and Harley looked down at her apologetically in response. “Aw shit Ives, I’m sorry, your head probably hurts real bad don’t it?” Frank appeared in the doorway holding a box of latex gloves and Harley took them quickly.</p><p><strong><em>What the fuck happened to you?</em></strong> “I hit my head.”</p><p><strong><em>No shit, you’re getting your sap everywhere.</em></strong> “Frank humans don’t have sap.”</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Who gives a shit what it’s called? It’s everywhere and it is gross.</em> </strong>
</p><p>Ivy opened her mouth to respond but Harley pushed the vines away, “I don’t know what you’re sayin’ to her, but stop agitatin’ her, she’s hurt. Do ya got a first aid kit? Grab it for me will ya?” Frank made a disgruntled noise but left the room without any further protest. Ivy felt Harley’s fingers gently prodding at her head, she winced at the pressure.</p><p>“I’m sorry Red, it doesn’t look like ya need stitches or nothin’ but I’m gonna need to check if ya got a concussion after I clean up your wound. Can ya sit up for me sweetie?” Harley grabbed Ivy’s arms and helped her into a sitting position, leaning her against the dresser behind her. Ivy felt her head swimming at the motion and gripped Harley tightly for balance. “Are ya dizzy?”</p><p>“Yes.” Harley nodded worrying her lip between her teeth before walking over to the bed and grabbing her phone, she turned the flashlight on and shined it in Ivy’s eyes.</p><p>“Your pupils aren’t dilated, so that’s good, do ya feel like ya gotta blow chunks?” Ivy chuckled lightly at Harley’s word choice before responding.</p><p>“No, I think I’m okay, just a little dizzy.” Harley nodded at that taking the first aid kit that Frank handed to her and pulling out the necessary items.</p><p>“K Pammy I’m gonna clean out your wound now, this is probably gonna sting a little okay?” Ivy nodded and Harley took out the alcohol, pouring a little on the wash cloth Frank had given her and gently cleaned the wound. Ivy grimaced a little at the sting but said nothing.</p><p>“Aww I’m sorry baby, I know it hurts.” Ivy felt herself flush at Harley’s words but before she could insist that it was no big deal Harley leaned forward and blew a soft breath across Ivy’s skin, easing the sting of the alcohol. “That feel better?” Ivy nodded again not trusting her words as Harley continued to dab and blow on the wound. Once she felt like the wound was properly cleaned Harley spread some ointment on it before placing a bandage over the cut.</p><p>“Okay Pammy, ya think ya can stand up?” Harley stood up and held out her hand for Ivy to take and Ivy allowed herself to be pulled from the ground. She swayed a bit unsteady on her feet and Harley wrapped an arm around her waist. “It’s okay baby, just lean on me an’ I’ll help ya downstairs, okay?” Ivy nodded and together they made their way downstairs.</p><p>It wasn’t until Ivy was seated at the dining room table watching as Harley poured out coffee for her that she realized the other woman was walking without issue. Ivy frowned watching Harley closely for a limp in her step, when Harley placed the mug of coffee down in front of Ivy she noticed her stare and faltered.</p><p>“Oh.. I uh…” Harley stammered for a moment.</p><p>“Your ankle is better.” Ivy pointed out uselessly, still confused by the unexpected turn of events. Ivy watched as Harley nodded and looked down guiltily.  “I don’t understand… how long… how?” Harley kept her gaze fixed on the floor as she responded.</p><p>“A coupla days…” Harley’s voice was soft. Ivy tilted her head to the side, trying to wrap her head around the new information.</p><p>“But… you couldn’t walk… why?” Harley was silent for several moments and Ivy wasn’t sure if she was going to answer but then Harley spoke in a rush.</p><p>“I’m sorry Red, I didn’t mean ta lie, well I did, but it was only cause I didn’t wanna go. But I knew if ya knew I was better you’d want me ta go an’ you were just so nice ta me, an’ I really like it here an’ I didn’t wanna leave, I’m real sorry Pammy. I am, please don’t me mad at me. I’m awful sorry.”</p><p>Ivy took in the other woman’s words and before she could stop herself she let out a loud laugh. Ivy’s laughter shot out of her in spurts, she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand but felt herself stop short at the look of absolute heartbreak on Harley’s face. Silent tears traced down the other woman’s face as she nodded to herself and turned away from Ivy. Ivy shot up from her seat meaning to grab Harley before she could go but her dizziness got the best of her and she fell backwards landing on the floor in a heap for the second time that day.</p><p>Harley turned to her surprised and rushed to help Ivy up. Ivy shook her head, pulling something out of her pocket and shoving it at Harley. Harley took the item and looked at it with clear confusion on her face.</p><p>Ivy rushed to explain, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. I didn’t laugh to be mean. I just…” Ivy waved weakly at the item in Harley’s hand. “I went out to get those this morning, that’s why I was late.” Harley furrowed her eyebrows, still confused.</p><p>“Ya went out to get keys? I don’t follow Red.”</p><p>“I-… they’re for you, um… well… it’s just I knew that your ankle would probably be feeling better soon and I thought you would want to leave as soon as it healed and well… I like having you here, so I thought…” Ivy trailed off, she’d felt relieved just a few moments earlier when Harley had said she’d wanted to stay with Ivy, but now faced with the daunting task of explaining herself to the other woman, Ivy faltered. She enjoyed Harley’s company so much, and she wanted the other woman to feel welcome in her home. She thought perhaps if she gave Harley a set of keys the other woman would visit her more often.</p><p>“Ya made me keys to your house?” Ivy nodded.</p><p>“Well, to the front gate, I don’t really lock the door to the house much except at night because well, no one comes in the park and also it’s hard for Frank to open the door if it’s locked, but I suppose if you want I could search for the original keys to make a duplicate…” Ivy trailed off and Harley looked taken aback. Ivy rushed to explain.</p><p> “I don’t mean you have to stay here if you don’t want to, I mean I’d like it if you did, I really do enjoy having you here, but you don’t have to, there’s no obligation. I just thought if you had keys then maybe you’d want to visit me more often. And now you’re looking at me as if I’m insane and I think perhaps I didn’t do the right thing, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-“ Ivy was cut off by Harley jumping in her lap.</p><p>Harley wrapped her arms around Ivy tightly and Ivy let out a decidedly undignified squeak of surprise before carefully placing her arms around the smaller woman. “Does this mean you’ll stay?” Harley pulled back a little to look Ivy in the eyes before speaking again.</p><p>“Are ya sure ya want me to? Even after I lied to ya?” Ivy nodded.</p><p>“Yes, I mean of course I’d prefer if you didn’t lie to me but I understand. After all I was very nervous about asking you to stay, so I imagine you were just as nervous about asking if you could stay. But I really do want you to stay Harley, for as long as you’d like to.”</p><p>Harley beamed at Ivy before quickly pulling her own shirt up over her mouth, Ivy’s eyes widened but before she could say anything Harley leaned forward and with the material of her shirt between them pressed a kiss to Ivy’s cheek. When she pulled back Ivy knew she was flushed a dark green color from her neck all the way up to her hairline.</p><p>“I’d love ta be your roomie Red! I’m so happy!” Ivy smiled as Harley bounced happily in her lap before remembering they were both on the floor.</p><p>“Harley?”</p><p>“Yeah Ives?”</p><p>“Can we please sit at the table now?” Harley chuckled at that and stood up to help Ivy into her seat. Ivy spent the rest of breakfast listening as Harley listed all of the things they could do now that they were roommates. (Most of them were things that they'd already been doing, but Ivy didn't have the heart to put a damper on Harley's excitement.)</p>
<hr/><p>Ivy rolled her fingers over her temple as she looked down at her notes, she’d been trying for the last three hours to make some headway with the latest iteration of the formula she’d been working on. Formulas 500 to 520 had been unsuccessful, but formula 529 had seemed promising, up until Ivy’s test subject had sprouted branches. She glared at the notes trying to figure out where her calculations had been off but with her head pounding and test subject 529b pitching a fit she couldn’t concentrate.</p><p>If Ivy were being honest, she’d admit that those were not the only reasons for her lack of concentration. Despite her pounding headache she found herself downright giddy over the prospect of having Harley as a more permanent guest in her house, no, as a roommate, that’s what Harley had said and the thought made her overwhelmed with joy. And if Ivy were being more honest than that, she’d admit that walking in on Harley this morning had left her more than a little flustered.</p><p>And while she was indulging in honesty, Ivy should admit that while seeing Harley with her hand down her pants, eyebrows knit in concentration, soft moans coming from her lips, while that had been an experience all on its own, it was not the only time that Ivy felt a flutter of something unchaste at Harley’s provocation. There had been times when, a glance, a lingering touch, a flirtatious tone, or an outright come on, had thrown Ivy off kilter. It had been a very long time since Ivy had entertained those types of thoughts, finding it so difficult to tolerate humanity, that to think of another person in that manner was ludicrous to Ivy. But now, with Harley, it was starting to feel less and less unthinkable.</p><p>“You crazy bitch! Get this fucking branch off of me!” Ivy growled in frustration at the sudden interruption of her thoughts. The test subject started yanking at the branch in question until he weakly slid to the floor. “Please, just let me go, I promise I won’t tell anyone about this.” Ivy rolled her eyes, she could care less who knew about her abducting subject 529b, she was a super villain for Christ’s sake, didn’t this dolt know that?</p><p>“You have a branch growing out of your sternum, that’s pretty much a dead giveaway. Also, why on earth would I let you go, when you so clearly deserve to die a slow and painful death?”</p><p>“I don’t want to die.” Ivy shrugged.</p><p>“Yes well you should have thought about that before you put rohypnol in all those girl’s drinks Brent.” Ivy was, generally speaking, a more ‘avenge the planet’ type of villain but occasionally when the opportunity presented itself she had no qualms about going after abusers, rapists, chauvinists, racists, homophobes and generally anyone who was a douchebag as well, especially when she was in need of as many test subjects as she could get.</p><p><strong><em>Can I eat him now?</em></strong> “Yeah, hold him while I get a blood and tissue sample then you can eat him.” Ivy made quick work of gathering the samples she needed before Frank pulled the man out of her lab. Ivy labeled the samples and placed them with the others before turning back to her notes, but after another unproductive hour passed Ivy huffed and slammed her notebook shut. Her head throbbed too much to get any real work done and she’d already completed all the tasks that required very little brainpower, tending to her plants, gathering soil samples, and making notes on all the test subjects.</p><p>Ivy sighed as her gaze drifted to the crates of produce she had in the corner of the greenhouse, she usually waited until nightfall to handle them but perhaps Harley wouldn’t mind helping her with that task now. With that Ivy nodded to herself and walked into the house. Ivy gawked at the sight she was greeted with, Harley was standing facing her bookcase balanced on one leg as she bent her arms backwards and gripped the other leg in her hands in a standing split. Harley noticed her entrance and giggled at Ivy’s dumbfounded expression before gracefully pulling her leg down to the floor and speaking.</p><p>“Hiya Pammy! I was just stretchin’, hey how come ya got a book called: The Little Book of Psychology? Ya tryin’ for a double doctorate?” Ivy shook herself out of her stupor at the question.</p><p>“Oh, no, I just bought a selection of books on Psychology when you told me you had studied it. Frank informed me that sometimes friends share interests, so I thought I would learn a little about yours.” Ivy walked to the bookcase and pulled out several more books placing them on the coffee table before speaking again. “In truth I had trouble getting through them, psychology is apparently not my strong suit, you’re welcome to keep them if you’d like though.”</p><p>Ivy looked up from the coffee table and met Harley’s gaze, there was something in the other woman’s expression that Ivy couldn’t quite place. Was it surprise? Perhaps curiosity? Ivy couldn’t tell but before she could contemplate it further Harley had slammed into her, wrapping her arms around Ivy’s waist tightly.</p><p>“Oh my god Red! That’s the sweetest thing ever! Ya tried ta learn psychology fer me?!” Ivy flushed, why did Harley insist that everything she did was sweet or cute? She was a goddamn super villain, she had literally just finished murdering someone, though to be fair, Harley didn’t know that, and technically speaking Frank had done the killing, but still there was nothing sweet or cute about her. And why did it make Ivy’s stomach flutter and her skin flush every time Harley said those things to her? It was all very confusing. Ivy pulled away from the other woman shaking her head.</p><p>“It was nothing and at any rate it was a failed attempt, I still know very little about the human psyche. Your knowledge of these things far surpasses mine and I doubt having a conversation about it would be at all stimulating for you. I will continue to search for another area of mutual interest.” Harley smirked at Ivy but said nothing. Ivy didn’t know how to interpret that expression so instead she ignored it and moved forward.</p><p>“I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind helping me with another task today, if you’re not busy that is.” Harley shook her head, bouncing on her heels excitedly as she responded.</p><p>“Oh no, I got loads a time Pammy, whaddya need? Some more yard work?” Ivy shook her head.</p><p>“No, I have to make a delivery in town.  I usually wait until nightfall, so as to attract less attention, but I thought maybe if you didn’t mind, we could drive into town together and you could drop off the crates for me. I think with my headache it’s probably not wise for me to drive, and if you drop off the crates I don’t have to worry about disguising myself. Perhaps if you wanted we could stop by your apartment as well? I imagine you must be growing tired of wearing my ill-fitting clothing.” Harley squealed in excitement and Ivy had to smile at the look of pure joy on the other woman’s face.</p><p>“Oh Red that’d be real swell! Lemme clean myself up an’ I’ll met ya down here in a New York minute!” Before Ivy could respond the other woman took off in a run and bounded up the steps. Ivy chuckled to herself, wondering how much pent up energy this woman had running through her.</p>
<hr/><p>“It’s the brown building in the center, 200 Cedarhurst Drive, you can just leave the crates on the steps, they’ll pick them up whenever they get the chance.” Harley nodded as she turned the engine of the car off.</p><p>“You got it Doc!” Harley gave Ivy a mock salute before jumping out of the car and grabbing the crates. Ivy watched as Harley skipped over to the building and placed the crates down in front of the door. Before walking away she waved at someone out of Ivy’s line of vision, Ivy frowned wondering why Harley was bending into a crouch as she spoke animatedly for several minutes. Harley reached over to the crates grabbing an orange and handing it to whomever she was speaking to before waving and skipping happily back to the car. When Harley settled back into the driver’s seat she didn’t start the car immediately instead turning to Ivy with a wide smile on her face.</p><p>“There was a cute lil lady outside, an’ I spoke to her a bit before I left.” Ivy nodded, Harley speaking to a child would explain her crouched position.</p><p>“Yes, there are many children around this area, which is why I avoid coming until after dark most of the time.” Harley nodded.</p><p>“She told me that was a women’s shelter.” Ivy nodded. “Ya gave two crates of food to a women’s shelter.” Ivy frowned, not understanding what Harley’s point was.</p><p>“Um... yes I did. I grow too much produce to consume by myself so I give them the remaining produce. Otherwise it would go to waste.” There was that expression again, the one that Ivy couldn’t understand. Was it wonder? Perhaps contentment? Harley grabbed Ivy’s gloved hand in her own squeezing it gently.</p><p>“You’re a real classy broad, ya know that Red?” Ivy raised an eyebrow at that, not understanding where this was coming from.</p><p>“I don’t know why you think so, but thank you nonetheless Harley. Shall we head to your apartment now?” Harley nodded, not releasing Ivy’s hand as she started driving towards her apartment. Ivy considered the pale hand cradling her own as they drove. This was of course one of many times that Harley had displayed physical affection towards Ivy, and while Ivy couldn’t fully understand Harley’s motivation for such behavior at times, she knew that she enjoyed the affection all the same.</p><p>There were a multitude of things that confused Ivy about the other woman. For example, why Harley always dug a hole in the center of her ice cream before carefully scooping out spoonful’s from the inner ring. Or why Harley changed the channel approximately twenty times before settling on the channel that she started off with. Or why Harley insisted she liked Cracker Jacks but only ate the peanuts and left the rest behind. Or why Harley always read the last page of a book before reading the beginning. But one of the most confounding things about Harley was the way she made Ivy feel.</p><p>While she found some of Harley’s behavior tiresome, she found far more of it to be endearing, and that puzzled Ivy. She had not found another human being in all of her years that captivated her as much as Harley did. Aside from her wonderment, there were the physical reactions that Ivy had to Harley.</p><p>The blushes at Harley’s compliments, the fluttering of her stomach from Harley’s hugs, the way tingles shot up her body with every lazy caress of Harley’s fingers on her own, the warmth that spread through her chest when Harley drifted off to sleep curled up against her, the way her lips would pull themselves into a smile with every one of Harley’s belts of raucous laughter, the stir of something halfway between her heart and her head every time Harley smiled shyly at a compliment, and the whet of something deeper and more carnal every time Harley looked at her with half lidded eyes or whispered something softly in her ear.</p><p>Ivy had no recourse for how to respond to her thoughts and feelings about Harley. What did you do when you found someone endearing? Or when your friend made your stomach flutter? What was the right course of action? Ivy surely didn’t know, and she was in a constant state of unbalance around the other woman. Still, by far the most befuddling thing about Harley was that no matter how many times Ivy faltered, teetered off balance, responded awkwardly, or did the wrong thing, Harley was always there to steady her. She never mocked or hectored Ivy, instead she took all of Ivy’s blunders in stride.</p><p>Yes, Harley perplexed Ivy beyond measure, but for all of her scientific prowess, Ivy would accept that there were some things that could not be explained by reason or fact. There were wonderful beautiful things like Harley Quinn that beyond all reason or logic were simply immaculate.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Honestly, Ivy being all 'I'm a super villain damn it!" while also doing cute and nice shit? </p><p> </p><p>  <br/></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. The Best Laid Plans</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>No trigger warnings for this one. As always if you see something say something. </p><p>I will give you all a heads up tho, there's a couple of chapters coming up that get heavy, so mentally prepare yourself for that. </p><p>Thanks for reading, and stay well.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">The Best Laid Plans</span>
</p><p>“Ten letter word for inexperienced, starts with a U and ends in a D.” Ivy looked up from her spot across the table, staring into the air for a moment. Harley waited, pen between her lips, watching the adorable furrow of concentration on Ivy’s face as she contemplated the answer.</p><p>“Unseasoned?” Harley scanned her crossword puzzle for a second, deciding that the word would fit.</p><p>“It fits, thanks Red.” Ivy grinned before returning her attention to the newspaper in her own hands. It had been nearly three weeks since Harley first arrived and since then the women had fallen into a routine.</p><p>Ivy, who always woke up before Harley, would start her days by tending to her plants, watering, pruning and picking fresh fruits and vegetables. She would prepare breakfast and Harley would be eased awake by the aroma of fresh coffee. Harley would make her way down the stairs and be greeted by Frank, who would lay the morning’s newspaper down on the dining room table. Harley would skim the headlines, reading the interesting ones out to Frank and Ivy, who would make comments here and there.</p><p>Ivy would serve Harley breakfast, omelets or frittatas or pancakes, and sometimes fresh fruit with yogurt on days when Ivy was running behind schedule. It was all delicious and Harley had even gotten used to the soy bacon that Ivy enjoyed. Harley would section out the newspaper, handing the science section to Ivy while taking the comics and the crossword for herself. They would eat in amicable silence, Harley sometimes voicing a clue she was stuck on, Ivy sharing a bit of information she found interesting other times.</p><p>Harley would clear the table and wash the dishes as Ivy made her way to her greenhouse, spending hours pouring over formulas and serums. Harley would spend her days reading, comic books, novels, Ivy’s psychology text books. Sometimes when she had a bit too much energy Harley would go outside to one of the many sprawling fields and practice stretches, backflips, handstands and somersaults. She would scale trees and make conversation with branches. On particularly hot days, Harley would take a swim in the small lake in the center of the park, not bothering with a bathing suit because Ivy very rarely left her lab during the day and there was no one else around, well besides Frank, but he spent most afternoons basking in the sun and napping. </p><p>Both women would eat lunch in their own time, more often than not skipping the meal entirely and when the sun began to dip lower in the sky Harley would prepare dinner. The smells wafting into the greenhouse and more often than not pulling Ivy away from her work to pick at things while Harley swatted her away playfully. They would eat together, Ivy excitedly rattling off things that she’d discovered, progress she’d made while Harley, not understanding much of it, listened attentively.</p><p>Ivy would clear the table, wash the dishes and join Harley in the living room with a bowl of ice cream, some cookies, or a glass of wine, depending on their mood. Harley would force Ivy to watch bad reality TV shows, claiming that it was the perfect way to study human behavior, Ivy argued that most of the time the behavior of these particular humans should not be emulated, but she watched all the same.</p><p>Sometimes Harley would balk when she discovered that Ivy had not watched a particular movie, and would then force her to watch it. Ivy had watched Mean Girls no fewer than three times because Harley had stated that once was simply not enough. Some nights when Ivy would almost guiltily ask if it was okay with Harley if she went back to her lab Harley would make her way outside of the park and help Frank find some dinner. Most nights though Harley would snuggle against Ivy’s side watching TV till she fell asleep, but she’d always wake up tucked safely in her bed the next morning.</p><p>It was all so blissfully domestic that if you had told Harley a handful of months ago that this would be her life she would have retched at the idea. But somehow with Ivy, domesticity was not so bad. Still when Harley re-read through the newspaper headlines she couldn’t help but be excited as an idea formed in her mind.</p><p>“Hey Ives, what’s a Roth chilleds slipper orchid?” Ivy looked up from the newspaper.</p><p>“Rothschild, it’s a very rare species of orchid, they only grow under very particular circumstances and as such are endangered.”</p><p>“Have ya ever seen one?”</p><p>“Only in text books.”</p><p>“If ya had one, could ya make it grow?” Ivy considered this carefully for a moment before responding.</p><p>“Yes, I believe I could. Why do you ask?”</p><p>“’Cause they’re puttin’ one on display at the Gotham museum this Thursday.” Ivy’s eyebrows shot up in alarm.</p><p>“What?! That’s completely irresponsible, the flower shouldn’t be removed from its natural habitat, there’s no way that the museum curators could maintain the proper conditions to keep the plant alive. This is absolutely ridiculous, don’t they know that the plants are endangered?” Harley let Ivy continue her rant for a couple moments more before interrupting the other woman with a light clearing of her throat. Ivy paused looking over at Harley with a question in her eyes.</p><p>“Why don’t we steal it?” Ivy looked like she might protest for a moment before she seemed to consider the idea.</p><p>“That’s... a really good idea.” Harley beamed bouncing up and down in her seat with excitement.</p><p>“Yay! Our first heist!” Ivy chuckled at the other woman’s excitement.</p><p>“Okay well that’s only two days away. We should start making a plan.” Harley was baffled by this idea, Ivy wanted her to help plan the heist. Mr. J had never allowed her to help with plans, insisting that she was too dimwitted to contribute and too annoying to be around. Harley was little more than a sidekick in Mr. J’s capers, a glorified goon. And Ivy was about a hundred times smarter than Mr. J, so why would she want Harley’s help? Ivy must have noticed the look of confusion on her face.</p><p>“I’m sorry, did you want to plan it on your own? I’ll admit that I’m not very gifted at bypassing more delicate security measures, I’ve tripped an alarm or two, but I manage. Though I suppose you probably are much better at this than I am, so if you prefer I’ll defer to you.” Harley shook her head trying to wrap her mind around what Ivy was saying. Not only did she want Harley to help her with the plan, she was willing to let Harley plan the whole heist and follow along. She valued Harley’s expertise, Harley was stunned to silence.</p><p>“… I’m sorry, did I say something wrong?” The inkling of worry in Ivy’s tone snapped Harley out of her reverie.</p><p>“No, no, um… I’m just a lil surprised is all.” Ivy raised an eyebrow at that.</p><p>“Why? Is it because I told you I’ve accidentally tripped some alarms? Those are quite difficult to spot sometimes and unlike you I’m not a trained gymnast so getting around them is tricky.” Harley smiled.</p><p>“No, that’s not it. I’m just surprised ya want me to help plan. Mr. J never lets me help plan heists.” Ivy grimaced but took a deep breath in before responding.</p><p>Ivy was always careful about the way she talked about Mr. J, Harley knew it was for her benefit and she appreciated the gesture. But Harley knew without a shadow of a doubt that Ivy hated him, there was always a flash of anger or disgust that crossed her face at his mention, always a calming breath before she chose her words. Those details were enough on their own but add them to the fact that she had heard Ivy ranting to Frank about him on more than one occasion (Ivy was still not great at using her inside voice when she spoke to Frank.) and those rants usually being peppered with phrases like: parasitic pierrot, callous clown, barbaric buffoon, feckless fool or the much less poetic: stupid ass motherfucker, made Harley sure of Ivy’s disdain. Harley would have normally hated hearing Ivy talk that way about him, but she knew it came from a place of concern.</p><p>Harley had started talking about him more and more with Ivy, about the things he’d done to her, about how they made her feel, about how she wished he wouldn’t do them. Ivy, for all her hate of Mr. J, always listened calmly, offered condolences and comfort. She never made Harley feel stupid or weak for staying with Mr. J, never pressured Harley into sharing more than she was comfortable sharing, never got angry or frustrated when Harley would freeze up and crawl into herself.</p><p>Instead Ivy always held her, listened carefully, and whispered comforting words to Harley. Always told Harley that she was smart, kind, funny, and wonderful, that she deserved better, that no one should treat her that way, that no matter what Ivy would be there for her, that she had a place to go, to stay, that she was safe. Those were difficult things for Harley to believe, and there were so many things that Harley couldn’t bring herself to tell Ivy, but despite that there was one thing Harley was certain of, she felt more calm and cared for now than she’d felt in a very long time. So no, Harley didn’t fault Ivy for venting to Frank about Mr. J, no matter how many mean things she said about him.</p><p> “Well maybe that’s why Jack ends up in Arkham so often.” A surprised laugh fell from Harley’s lips, the idea was of course ridiculous, there was no way that Harley could ever come up with a plan better than Mr. J’s plans, but it still amused her to think about. Ivy smiled at her before clearing her throat.</p><p>“So, will you help me with the plan?”</p><p>“I’d love ta Red!” They spent the rest of the day pulling up floor plans, researching points of entry and going over contingency plans.</p><hr/><p>After spending hours working out the kinks of their plan, both girls were in agreeance that preparing dinner was a task that neither girl had the energy for. Ivy offered to go into town to pick up food but Harley, having been cooped up in the park for the better part of three weeks, save for the one time she’d taken a trip to her apartment to pick up some much needed clothing,  had suggested they go out for dinner instead.</p><p>“Oooh Red please? We can get all gussied up an’ go to a fancy restaurant, I’ll treat, whaddya say? Please?” Harley shot Ivy a pouty look that she’d quickly learned Ivy could not say ‘no’ to and the other woman begrudgingly agreed.</p><p>“Fine but I get to choose the restaurant… there’s a Thai restaurant that has reasonably sustainable practices, would that be okay?” Harley nodded excitedly.</p><p>“Yes! Absolutely, now I’m gonna go raid your closet and choose some outfits...” Before Ivy could respond Harley took off up the stairs calling out over her shoulder, “I’ll pick out somethin’ sexy for ya!”</p><p>After prepping and pruning for much longer than strictly necessary, Harley made her way downstairs. Ivy was of course already ready and waiting for the other woman. Harley would have teased the other woman for her lack of fanfare but she could not for the life of her think of anything but how stunning Ivy looked.</p><p>Ivy was wearing a short deep forest green sheath dress that stopped just above her knees, showed off her long and shapely legs. The dress was form fitting and hugged Ivy’s splendid curves, and Ivy had paired it with a simple green clutch and some pumps. Harley had to drag her eyes away from the body of the gorgeous woman in front of her, not wanting to make it obvious that she’d been ogling her. Harley finally forced her eyes to the other woman’s face only to be met with a light smile on Ivy’s pink lips. Pink lips. Harley did an almost cartoonish double take. Harley would later find out that Ivy could change her skin pigmentation at will, but at this moment Harley was very much unaware of that fact, and very much stunned by Ivy’s pallid appearance.</p><p>“Wait, Ivy, why are you white?” Ivy shot her a deadpan expression before responding.</p><p>“Oh my God Harley, you can’t just ask people why they’re white.”</p><p>“Oh my God! Did you just quote Mean Girls?! This might be the proudest day of my life.” Ivy laughed but before she could respond Harley pounced, crushing her in a hug. In her haste Harley had forgotten their no touch rule and wrapped her bare arms around Ivy’s neck, remembering a moment too late that she wasn’t supposed to do that.</p><p>Ivy pushed her away quickly, backing up and nearly tipping backwards onto the armchair behind her. “Oh shit Harls, are… are you okay? Do you feel light headed? Nauseous? Fuck, okay, it takes approximately 30 seconds for the toxins to reach the brain, and then the hallucinogenic effects start, has it been 30 seconds? Are you hallucinating? Fucking shit, okay, okay, okay, I’ll get the antidote and-and you’ll be fine, we’ll be fine, it’ll be fine.” Before Ivy could rush off Harley grabbed her arm.</p><p>“Ives… I think I’m okay. I don’t feel any different, it has been almost three weeks, I think the vaccine kicked in.” Ivy studied her in silence for several long seconds, apparently not completely convinced.</p><p>“Jump up and down on one foot and bark like a dog.” Harley raised an eyebrow at Ivy.</p><p>“What… why? Is that some kinda test to see if I got poisoned? Cause it feels like you’re fuckin’ with me Red.” Ivy released a sigh of relief.</p><p>“Okay good, you’re fine. If you had been poisoned you would’ve done what I said immediately and without question.”</p><p>“Wait what?!”</p><p>“Well yes, that’s how the toxin works. It makes its way to the brain and the hallucinogenic effects make the victim compliant to my every command, then if they haven’t received the antidote after 48 hours they die.”  Harley’s mouth dropped open.</p><p>“Holy shit! That’s the coolest thing I’ve ever heard!” Ivy chuckled at Harley’s exclamation.</p><p>“Yes, well I’m just glad you’re okay, shall we?” Ivy held out her arm to Harley who happily took it.</p><p>At the restaurant the women ordered way too much food and indulged in one too many cocktails before settling the bill and stumbling out of the restaurant doggie bags in hand. Ivy leaned heavily against Harley as they made their way back to the park. Once they reached the gates Harley leaned Ivy against the bars intending on opening the gates before helping her through, but as soon as Harley moved away Ivy slipped to the floor.</p><p>“Red, you’re drunk!” Harley giggled as Ivy scoffed.</p><p>“You’re drunk!” Harley was about to respond when a low voice interrupted her.</p><p>“Don’t worry sweet tits, How’s about take care of you and your friend? I got a breathalyzer right here for you to blow.” Harley rolled her eyes a grunt of frustration leaving her lips as she turned around to face the man who was still clutching his crotch suggestively. She was about to make quick work of knocking out the greasy troll in front of her when a throng of vines shot out and lifted the man straight off his feet. They wrapped tightly around his body and propelled him forward until he was face to face with a very angry looking Ivy.</p><p>“You’re going to apologize to her, now.” Her voice was low and threatening and it sent a chill down Harley’s spine. Harley didn’t think she’d ever seen Ivy so angry, and while the woman was certainly powerful, Harley didn’t feel an inkling of fear in the face of Ivy’s anger. What she did feel however started real low in her body and would serve as interesting material for her late night thoughts. What? Harley had at thing for authority figures, and with that look and that stern tone, Ivy could authoritize her any day.</p><p>“I’m not apologizing for shit! Now let go of me you crazy bitch!” Ivy smiled wryly at the man before punching him full force in the face. The man’s head snapped back with the force of the blow and blood started streaming down his face in rivers.</p><p>“Wrong answer asshole.” Ivy reached up and snapped the man’s nose back into place as the man whimpered in response.  Ivy calmly wiped her hands on the man’s shirt before speaking again. “I’m going to tell you one last time, apologize.” Harley watched as a look of fury passed over his face, he grit his teeth in defiance, but then his eyes dilated, his head lolled to the side and with a serene expression he turned to Harley.</p><p>“I’m sorry.” Harley let out a low whistle in response.</p><p>“Holy shit Red! That was the most badass thing I’ve ever seen!” Ivy, whose momentary sobriety was quickly waning, smiled goofily up at Harley. Harley snorted at the expression leaning down to place a quick kiss on Ivy’s forehead before regarding the man. “So, he’ll do anythin’ ya say?”</p><p>“Mmmhmmm, you want to try?” Harley nodded excitedly.</p><p>“You can make him listen to me?” Ivy nodded, snapping her fingers in front of the man’s face to get his attention before speaking.</p><p>“Do whatever she tells you to do.” Ivy released the man from her vines and gestured for Harley to go ahead. After first, of course, getting his wallet and jewelry Harley started running through every ridiculous action she could think of. The man danced, sang, punched himself in the nuts, and even prank called Bruce Wayne (his refrigerator was indeed running) before Harley had run out of ideas.</p><p>“Okay well, it was fun while it lasted, help me carry her inside then go feed yourself to Frank.” The man did as he was told and shortly afterwards the women were huddled together on the sofa in their pajamas digging through their leftovers and watching Little Shop of Horrors (another movie that Harley was appalled to find out that Ivy hadn’t seen.)</p><p>“mm, gimmie one of them spring rolls wouldja Pammy?” Ivy reached over to the container and picked up a spring roll in her chopsticks she moved to give it to Harley but in her drunken state her normally dexterous fingers betrayed her and the spring roll shot out from between the chopsticks and smacked Harley square in the forehead.  There was a moment of bated silence before a loud guffaw escaped Ivy’s lips. Harley glared at the redhead as she fell over clutching her stomach as she laughed.</p><p>“Oh ya think that’s funny do ya Red?” Ivy nodded, unable to speak as laughter continued to rack her body. “Oh I’ll show ya funny!” Before Ivy could react Harley was on her, legs wrapped around Ivy’s waist as she dug her fingers into Ivy’s sides tickling the green skinned woman. Tears streamed down Ivy’s face as she continued to laugh and struggle against Harley’s hold.</p><p>Soon enough Ivy bucked her hips and rolled her shoulder forward, successfully reversing Harley’s grip as they tumbled off the sofa. They landed on the floor in a heap of laughter and limbs but when Ivy moved to secure her position her thigh pressed up against Harley’s center. Harley let out a low moan at the feeling and Ivy froze, her eyes shooting up to meet Harley’s. Suddenly nothing was funny anymore.</p><p>Harley’s hands which had been flat at her sides came up to gently grip Ivy’s waist and with a soft press of her fingers Harley urged Ivy closer. Ivy’s hips canted forward at the pressure and Harley gasped. Harley’s gaze shifted from the deep emerald eyes to the moss green lips just inches from her own. Ivy leaned almost imperceptivity closer and Harley’s eyes fluttered closed. Their lips were a hair’s breadth away when the sound of Frank opening the door jolted them from their trance, shooting away from each other guiltily.</p><p>Harley would lie awake for several hours that night thinking of that almost kiss.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If you're wondering, did I purposely write in a going out scene just so I could use a Mean Girls reference... the answer is yes, yes I did.</p><p>If you're also wondering, did Harley immediately pounce on Ivy as soon as she found out she could touch her.... the answer is yes, yes she did. </p><p>lol</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Hair of the Dog That Bit You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger Warning: Implied past abuse. Brief vague description of violence. Honestly it's not bad, if you've watched the Harley Quinn show then it shouldn't be a surprise.</p><p>Other Warning: Mild drug use in this chapter. It's just pot, which I know isn't that big a deal, but I am a product of my generation and those fuckin' DARE presentations scared the shit out of me when I was younger, but I've been desensitized to violence bc yunno Mortal combat and shit like that. So drugs are bad... but violence is okay? Idk guys, all this is to say I'm not encouraging the use of pot as a means of self medication, should you use it you should be of age and practice caution and common sense. </p><p>K, I'll stop being a mama bear now. Enjoy the fic, as always thank you for reading and stay well.</p><p>(Okay one last note, this chapter is obnoxiously long, my bad)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">Hair of the Dog That Bit You</span>
</p><p>Ivy was sure that she was dying, there could be no other explanation for the constant pounding in her head, the wave of nausea in her stomach and the desert dry feel of her mouth. Yes, Ivy decided, she would die soon and all before she had time to revise her will. Ivy wondered briefly if Harley would wear red and black to her funeral when she heard the all too loud knock on her door. Grunting but unwilling to force words out of her scratchy throat Ivy waved a hand at the philodendron in the corner urging it to open the door for her.</p><p>“Wow, ya look bout as good as I feel.” Ivy sent Harley a pitiful look and her face softened, reaching a hand out to Ivy. “Come on, I’ll fix ya up a good ole fashioned Quinzel hang over cure.” Ivy groaned but forced herself up from the bed taking the shorter woman’s hand and allowing herself to be led downstairs. Ivy settled against the sofa taking the glass of water and aspirin offered to her by Harley.</p><p>“As far as hangover cures go, I don’t think this one is too earth shattering.” Harley chuckled from the kitchen.</p><p>“That’s not the cure Ives, it’s just to take the edge off while I whip up the cure.” Ivy nodded finishing off the water before resting an arm over her eyes, had her living room always been this bright? A few moments later she felt something nudge her foot, she lifted her head and saw the cup of red liquid Harley was holding out to her. She carefully took the beverage, eyeing it suspiciously.</p><p>“Is this a bloody Mary?” Harley flopped down next to her, taking a sip from her own cup before responding.</p><p>“Kinda, it’s got a twist, sure ta fix ya right up.” Ivy shot Harley a disbelieving look.</p><p>“Harley I drank my body weight in rum last night, I don’t think drinking more is the wisest idea.”</p><p>“Course it is Red, ain’t ya ever heard of drinkin’ the hair of the dog that bit ya?” Ivy furrowed her eyebrows, what did dogs have to do with anything?</p><p>“Wait, were we attacked by canines last night?” Harley’s laugh rang light in the air, and most days Ivy would cherish the sound, but today it just made her head throb more.</p><p>“No Pammy, it’s an expression, means drinkin’ a little bit to cure a hangover.” Ivy looked unconvinced. “Come on Ives, ya gotta believe me. I mean who won five games of beer pong and did a keg stand all before takin’ an’ acin’ their abnormal psychology final freshman year?”</p><p>“um… from your tone I assume it was you.” Harley nodded proudly at that and Ivy chuckled then immediately afterwards winced.</p><p>“Drink up Pam-a-lamb you’ll feel betta.” Ivy sighed deciding that she couldn’t feel any worse so why not try the concoction. The drink tasted surprisingly good and after a couple tentative sips Ivy decided that perhaps it was helping. Harley raised an eyebrow at her, a smug look on her face. Ivy rolled her eyes.</p><p>“Okay fine you were right. Thank you Harley.” Ivy finished off the drink, placing the glass on the table in front of her. Her head felt infinitely better but her body still felt lethargic. Ivy ran a tired hand through her hair before wincing and pulling her hand away to inspect it. There was a large bruise on her knuckles and Ivy frowned trying to remember how that had happened. Giving up she turned to Harley.</p><p>“Why is my hand all bruised? Did I punch someone for littering? … I’ve always wanted to do that.”</p><p>“Ya don’t remember?” Ivy shook her head, searching her brain for her last solid memory of the night before.</p><p>“The last thing I remember is ordering a lychee mojito and trying to steal the bamboo plant from our table.” Ivy saw a flash of disappointment cross over Harley’s face but before she could question it Frank popped up behind her cradling a small bamboo plant.</p><p><strong><em>Yeah, you stole him, Harley named him Po.</em></strong> “Po?” Harley nodded.</p><p>“Yeah, like from Kung Fu Panda... ‘cause pandas eat bamboo?” Ivy chuckled before remembering her bruised fist.</p><p>“Wait… I didn’t fight someone for the plant did I?” Harley laughed and shook her head.</p><p>“Naw, that happened later. Some creep came up ta us when I was tryin’ ta get ya inside, and he said somethin’ nasty ta me, so ya punched him.” Ivy considered this for a moment before nodding to herself.</p><p>“Worth it.” Harley smiled, fluttering her eyelashes at Ivy before leaning close to her.</p><p>“Aww my protective lil daffodil in shinin’ armor.” Ivy stuck her tongue out at Harley before moving to get off the sofa and immediately falling backwards.</p><p>“Nope, can’t move. Will live on the sofa forever, please tell my plants that I’ll miss them.” <strong><em>Stop being a fucking drama queen Ivy.</em></strong></p><p>“You’re so dramatic.” Ivy looked from Harley to Frank and back again. “What? Did Frank say the same thing I did?” Ivy nodded and Harley laughed reaching over to give Frank a high five. Ivy narrowed her eyes at them.</p><p>“You know, I don’t think I like this friendship you two have developed.” Harley squished Ivy’s face between her hands.</p><p>“Don’t worry Pam-a-lamb, you’ll always be my bestest friend.” Ivy rolled her eyes but smiled despite herself<strong><em>. And you’ll always be my second favorite person in the world.</em></strong></p><p>“You only know two people Frank.” <strong><em>I said what I said. </em></strong></p><p>“Dick.” Harley raised an eyebrow. “He said you’re his favorite person.” Harley smiled at that throwing her arms around the vine in a strong embrace.</p><p>“Aw I love ya too Franko.” Ivy watched as Frank completed a series of complicated gestures and Harley nodded. “Yeah, I think so too.” Somehow over the past three weeks the two of them had created a system of communication so complicated that Ivy wondered if the two were actually communicating at all or if they were just fucking with her. After watching the conversation for a minute longer Ivy shrugged and reached over to the small bamboo plant resting on the side table. She waved a hand over it, taking stock of its health and thinking of the best spot for the plant to reside.</p><p>“Okay, so me and Frankie have decided, you an’ me are havin’ a girls day in.” Ivy shot Harley a questioning look.</p><p>“Um… and what exactly is that?”</p><p>“Oh it’s real simple, just a lot of pamperin’, we can do our nails, put on some face masks, take nice long baths, watch movies, maybe bake some cookies, eat a buncha junk food and girl talk!” Ivy thought about this for a moment, while she normally liked to spend most of her day in the lab, she knew that she simply wasn’t up for it today, and the thought of spending the entire day with Harley was definitely a plus.</p><p>“Okay, but can we eat breakfast first? I’m suddenly starving.” While Ivy had prepared breakfast, Harley and Frank had apparently been busy because when they made their way back to the living room Ivy was greeted with the sight of pillows and blankets draped everywhere. “Um… Harley why does it look like a hurricane passed through my living room?” Harley giggled.</p><p>“It’s a pillow fort silly! Haven’t ya ever made a pillow fort before?” Ivy shook her head and Harley gasped. “Well lucky for you, I’m an expert on pillow fort construction and that there is the finest fluffy fort you’ll ever see.” Ivy smiled and followed the shorter girl into the pillow fort, quickly deciding that she liked the construction.</p><p>The girls spent the day much in the way that Harley had described and Ivy had never felt more relaxed and happy in her entire life. Ivy looked over to the blonde girl, skin glowing under the string lights that Harley had set up in the fort, and wondered how one person could cause so much joy. Harley turned to her and shot her a questioning glance.</p><p>“Oh, sorry, what?” Harley laughed.</p><p>“I said, truth or dare.” Ivy rolled her eyes, once Harley had found out that Ivy had never played the game before she decided that they had to play, it was a rite of passage that Ivy simply could not gloss over, at least according to Harley.  </p><p>“Truth.”</p><p>“Aww ya always pick truth.”</p><p>“Yes, because the first time I picked dare you made me run across the park naked.” Harley grinned at her.</p><p>“Yeah… it was nice.” Ivy slapped her arm and Harley laughed. “Okay, okay, truth. Uh…oh! I know tell me what ya first thought about me when ya met me.” Ivy raised an eyebrow at that.</p><p>“Um… well you were practically unconscious on my sofa, so my most prominent thought was ‘holy shit what the fuck do I do’ and ‘I hope she doesn’t fucking die.’ Then probably a few variations of ‘that was horrible, she thinks you’re an idiot.’” Harley laughed lightly while shaking her head.</p><p>“One, I didn’t think you were an idiot, I thought you were adorable. Two, that’s not what I meant.” Ivy tilted her head to the side in confusion.</p><p>“What do you mean that’s not what you meant? Also, I’m not adorable, I am Poison Ivy, people fear me Harls, like a lot.” Harley rolled her eyes at that.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know everyone’s scared of Poison Ivy, but I’m not an’ I think you’re cute. An’ what I meant was the first-first time ya met me, remember ya told me we met like four years ago an’ I didn’t remember it?” Realization dawned on Ivy and she opened her mouth in a soundless ‘oh’.</p><p>“Um.. okay, but you don’t remember meeting me so my first impressions of you would be weird without context wouldn’t they?” Harley considered this for a moment before nodding.</p><p>“Yeah, you’re probably right, scratch that, new question, truth, whatever, tell me the story of when we first met.” Ivy groaned, she shouldn’t have pointed that out to Harley, she could have just said ‘I thought you were strange and funny,’ or some shit. But no she just couldn’t do that could she? Now she had to tell Harley the very awkward story of their first meeting.</p><p>“So, just to be clear, if I don’t want to tell you that story…?”</p><p>“Then I get ta dare ya ta do somethin’ an’ I’m definitely gonna make ya run around naked again.” Ivy let out a dejected sigh.</p><p>“Okay fine, here goes.”</p><p>
  <strong>||||||[Flashback]||||||</strong>
</p><p>Ivy leant heavily against the cold concrete of the building behind her, watching as smoke billowed out in front of her in slow tantalizing clouds. She took another drag of her joint before looking at the time on her phone. “A fucking hour, I’m going to skin that stupid cat alive!” The sound of Ivy’s voice echoed through the empty alleyway. She had been waiting to meet Selina at the Ice Lounge to discuss their Amazon plans, and as always Selina was late. That of course meant that Ivy sat nursing the same drink for an hour while Eddie spouted riddle after riddle to her, she had to get the fuck out of there or she would have definitely murdered several of Gotham’s ‘finest’ villains.</p><p>It wasn’t that Ivy hated people, it was just that… no yeah, Ivy hated people. But it wasn’t <em>only </em>that Ivy hated people, she also got really anxious around them, she supposed it was a remnant of her past life, a flaw that even death couldn’t erase. For as long as she could remember Ivy had anxiety around people, and large crowds of people, like the one inside the Ice Lounge, were much worse for Ivy. Add that to the fact that now she just hated people as well, and this was pretty much a nightmare scenario.</p><p>And that was why Ivy was smoking, if she had to continue to wait for that mangy feline then she needed to relax. Ivy took another pull from the joint, letting it fill her lungs, and holding the smoke in for several moments.</p><p>“Well that sure smells awful nice.” Ivy coughed, releasing the smoke in a burst at the sound of the voice behind her. Ivy turned to see a woman, shorter than her by several inches, dressed in a tight fitting red and black dress and wearing a jester’s hat with grease paint and a mask. Harley Quinn, Jack’s partner in crime. Ivy remembered her name, it’d come up more and more in the villainous circles over recent years, but they had never crossed paths until now. Harley’s eyes widened and she patted Ivy’s back as Ivy continued to cough. “Aww I’m sorry Red, I didn’t mean ta startle ya. You okay?” Ivy nodded trying to catch her breath after the series of coughs left her system.</p><p>“Yes, I’m fine, I just didn’t expect to see anyone else out here.” Harley nodded in understanding.</p><p>“Yeah, ya looked real deep in thought, I hate ta bother ya, but I needed some air, had one too many Jack n’ cokes ya know?” Ivy waved a dismissive hand at that. While Ivy had wanted to be alone she couldn’t very well claim the entire alleyway for her own.</p><p>“Yes, of course, it’s fine.” Harley smiled brightly at her extending a hand out to Ivy.</p><p>“Harley Quinn, nice ta meet ya.” Ivy raised an amused eyebrow at that, did she really think that Ivy didn’t know who she was or was she just being polite? Ivy decided it didn’t matter either way and took the other woman’s hand in her own shaking it.</p><p>“Poison Ivy.”</p><p>“Oh, I know who ya are Red! You’re a real badass lady, with your plant powers an’ whatnot.” As Harley said the words she mimicked shooting vines out her hands and Ivy couldn’t help but chuckle at her antics.</p><p>“Well thank you for saying so, and for the record I already knew who you were as well. You’re quite impressive yourself Harleen.” Harley stood up straighter at that seemingly pleased at the praise.</p><p>“Really? Ya think so?” Ivy smiled lightly and nodded. Why did she find this woman so charming? It was probably the weed, she rationalized. Speaking of which while Ivy was not a social butterfly by any means, she did know that there was a bit of decorum that should be followed when consuming marijuana in front of others.</p><p>“I do think so. Would you like some Harley?” Ivy gestured at the joint in her hand and Harley nodded eagerly.</p><p>“Really? Ya don’t mind?” Ivy shook her head as she fished another joint out of her purse before handing it to Harley, most often people would share one, but since Ivy’s lips were poisonous she didn’t think that was the wisest idea. Harley took it happily and leant forward as Ivy lit it for her. Ivy watched as another billow of smoke flooded the alleyway.</p><p>“This is real nice Red, I ain’t smoked pot in a real long time, on account of Puddin’ not likin’ the smell. Do ya grow it yourself? With like your plant powers or somethin’?” An amused smile graced Ivy’s lips as she responded.</p><p>“Yes Harley, I grow it with my plant powers.” Harley beamed at her and they continued to smoke in silence for a few moments before Harley started giggling. Ivy raised an eyebrow at that. “What’s so funny?”</p><p>“Pickles.” Harley barely got the word out between fits of giggles and Ivy had to push back a laugh of her own.</p><p>“Pickles?” Harley let out another howl of laughter. Ivy chuckled and shook her head before reaching for the joint in Harley’s hands. Harley gave it to her without issue and Ivy gently snuffed it out before handing it back to her.</p><p>“I think maybe you should save the rest of this for another time. You seem like you’ve had enough for now.” Harley nodded pushing the joint to rest in her cleavage while still smiling dazedly at Ivy.</p><p>“You’re real pretty when ya laugh Red, I mean you’re real pretty always, but when ya laugh it’s like… magic.” Harley spoke the last word in a breathy whisper as she used what Ivy could only describe as spirit fingers to emphasize her point. Ivy let out a full out guffaw of laughter and Harley stared at her dreamily.</p><p>When Ivy finally got her wits about her she met Harley’s glazed over eyes and smiled fondly at the other woman. “I think you’re just high peanut.”</p><p>“An’ I think you’re fuckin’ gorgeous bagel bite.” Ivy let out another bark of laughter at that.</p><p>“Did you just call me bagel bi-“Before Ivy could get the rest of the question out Harley pushed forward and slammed her lips to Ivy’s. Ivy, still really high, did what any sane person would do if Harley Quinn cornered them in an alley and kissed the ever loving shit out them, she kissed back. It wasn’t until Harley pushed a hand up the hem of Ivy’s dress that she snapped out of it and pushed Harley away.</p><p>“Hey what gives? I was enjoyin’ myself.” Harley moved forward again trying to grope at Ivy’s breasts while Ivy pushed her hands away.</p><p>“Damn it Harley you just kissed me!” Harley nodded.</p><p>“Yep an’ it was real nice, you’re a good kisser Red.” Ivy shook her head grasping both of Harley’s wandering hands in her own.</p><p>“Harley my lips are poisonous!” Harley giggled. “What is so funny?!”</p><p>“Your lips are ta die for!” Harley laughed harder and Ivy couldn’t help but chuckle.</p><p>“Right well we need to get you the antidote and I don’t have it on me. I’ll have to take you home.”</p><p>Harley leaned forward whispering into Ivy’s ear, “Take me home baby.” Harley ran her tongue along the sensitive flesh behind Ivy’s ear and Ivy shuddered. This woman was going to be the death of her. Ivy pushed Harley away again and Harley pouted at her. Ivy chuckled at the look of childlike indignation on the other woman’s face.</p><p>“Come on peanut, let’s go.” Ivy held out her hand to Harley who happily took it and started swinging their clasped hands together. Ivy briefly considered popping into the Ice Lounge to inform Jack that she needed to take Harley home, but decided it was best if the clown didn’t know that his girlfriend made a pass at her. She wasn’t scared of him by any means, but she was a busy woman and couldn’t be bothered to deal with his baboonish behavior, especially with her mission to the Amazon coming up.</p><p>Ivy pulled Harley to the street, and waved down a taxi.</p><p>“All right, where to ladies?” Ivy reached through the front seat grabbed the man and placed a kiss square on his lips. The man grinned lecherously when she pulled away and Ivy had to force herself not to punch him in the face. “Had a little too much to drink? Why don’t you come sit up front with me? I’ll teach you to drive stick.” Ivy rolled her eyes and counted to thirty in her head, as soon as she hit thirty the cabbie’s eyes dilated.</p><p>“You’re going to drive me to this address, when we get there you will stay parked outside until I come back down, you will speak to no one, do you understand?” The man nodded dumbly and started driving to the address that Ivy gave him. When Ivy leaned back in the seat she looked over at Harley who was pouting at her. Ivy raised an eyebrow at that.</p><p>“I don’t wanna go nowhere with you, let me out here mistah!” The cabbie of course ignored her but Ivy had to pull Harley back from trying to open the door anyway.</p><p>“Harley, the car is still moving!”</p><p>“I don’t care! Ya can’t just sweep a girl off her feet then go kissin’ the first guy ya see, it ain’t right Red!” As Harley said the words tears started building in her eyes and Ivy had to stifle a groan, of course Harley had to be an emotional drunk, because her night hadn’t been stressful enough. Ivy reached for the other woman, gripping her hands gently as she spoke in a soft placating tone.</p><p>“I’m sorry peanut, I didn’t mean to upset you. I just needed to make sure this barbarian didn’t know where my hideout was. You understand don’t you?” Harley sniffled a little still pouting at Ivy.</p><p>“Ya didn’t mean it when ya kissed him?” Harley’s tone was so fragile that Ivy felt a rush of genuine concern for the other woman.</p><p>“No peanut, I didn’t mean it. That’s just how I deliver my poison, remember?” Harley nodded.</p><p>“Like how I’m poisoned?” Ivy nodded.</p><p>“Yes sweetheart, like how you’re poisoned, but it’s okay I’m going to get you the antidote and you’ll be just fine, okay?” Harley nodded again before scowling slightly.</p><p>“Are ya gonna give it to him too?” She gestured angrily at the cabbie and Ivy wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation but thought better of it.</p><p>“No peanut, just you.” That caused a bright smile to grace Harley’s lips and Ivy couldn’t help the sigh of relief that fell from hers. “Are you okay now?” Harley nodded shyly.</p><p>“Yeah,” Harley snuggled into Ivy’s side and Ivy chuckled wrapping her arms around the smaller woman as they sat silently. The calm however was short lived as Harley’s hands once again started to wander. Ivy gripped both of Harley’s hands tightly stilling them in their motions before sending Harley a pointed look. Harley for her part seemed unfazed by the glare being directed at her and just smiled brightly at Ivy. Ivy shook her head and chuckled. If nothing else could be said about Harley, she would at least admit this, Harley Quinn was frustratingly charming.</p><p>“Harley, do you really want this halfwit to watch you groping me?” Harley frowned at that.</p><p>“No,” the word came out in a reluctant sigh and Ivy smiled gently.</p><p>“Good, then will you please behave until we get to my hideout?” Harley nodded and Ivy released her hands. “Good girl, why don’t you rest for a bit sweetheart, it’s a long drive.” Harley snuggled closer to Ivy and Ivy stroked her back lightly, hoping that the drive would lull the other woman to sleep.</p><p>When they finally arrived at Ivy’s hideout she had to gently nudge Harley awake. “Hey peanut, we’re here.” Harley looked up sleepily at her and Ivy couldn’t deny that it was one of the most adorable things she’d ever seen.</p><p>“At your hideout?” Ivy nodded.</p><p>“Yes, just upstairs.” Harley sat up, yawning as Ivy opened the door of the cab and reached a hand to Harley. Harley took it and allowed herself to be led up to Ivy’s hideout. As soon as the door closed behind them Ivy found herself once again pinned to a wall as Harley pushed their lips together in a fevered rush. Ivy grunted against the insistent lips but gave in, kissing Harley back for a few moments before finally pulling away.</p><p>“Okay, we need to sto-“ Ivy’s words cut off in a moan as Harley attached herself to Ivy’s neck, kissing and sucking the sensitive flesh there. Harley’s hands made their way to Ivy’s breasts and when the smaller woman gave them a gentle squeeze Ivy had to remind herself of all of the reasons why she shouldn’t do this.</p><p>Harley needed the antidote. <em>Yes, but the poison took 48 hours before it started doing any real damage, so there’s no rush there.</em></p><p>Harley had a boyfriend. <em>Yes, but Jack was an asshole, and Ivy was sure she saw him flirting with a waitress right in front of Harley earlier.</em></p><p>Harley was drunk. That was it, that was the reason Ivy finally pushed Harley away for good.</p><p>“Harley honey I need you to stop.” Harley looked like she might argue, but the poison, doing its job, made her complacent. Harley pouted and Ivy smiled gently at her. “You’re drunk peanut, it wouldn’t be right.” Harley sighed but nodded.</p><p>“Okay Red, I’m sorry.” Ivy kissed Harley’s forehead softly.</p><p>“Don’t be sorry peanut, it was all very enjoyable, and if you’d like to do it again when you’re sober I wouldn’t protest.” Harley smiled brightly at that and Ivy chuckled. “Why don’t you go to see if there’s anything you want in the kitchen while I whip up the antidote for you?” Harley nodded and skipped happily in the direction that Ivy gestured towards.</p><p>When Ivy finished synthesizing the antidote she walked Harley back to the cab, once Harley was settled in the backseat Ivy looked at the cabbie.</p><p>“You are going to drive her wherever she tells you to. You will make sure she gets inside safely, once she is inside you will drive away. You will tell no one about this, you will forget where she and I live and you will keep your goddamn hands to yourself. Do you understand?” The cabbie nodded in a daze and Ivy looked to Harley.</p><p>“Okay peanut, I need you to listen carefully, can you do that?” Harley nodded.</p><p>“I’m all ears Red.”</p><p>“The antidote will make you hallucinate, you need to get somewhere safe before you take it, okay? And you must take it before 48 hours pass. This cabbie will drive you anywhere you need to go, just tell him where to go. Okay?” Harley nodded, but her head lulled forward and Ivy was unconvinced.</p><p>“Peanut, look at me.” Harley’s dazed eyes met her own. “What are you going to do?”</p><p>“I’m gonna tell the cabbie to take me home, an’ then I’m gonna take the antidote.” Ivy nodded.</p><p>“Good girl, remember to wait until you feel safe. When do you need to take the antidote Harley?”</p><p>“Before 48 hours pass.” Ivy nodded again feeling secure in the fact that Harley would follow her directions.</p><p>“Okay peanut, get home safely. It was wonderful meeting you.” Ivy went to close the door of the cab but Harley reached out a hand and stopped her.</p><p>“Can I get a kiss goodbye?” Harley’s expression was so hopeful that Ivy had to chuckle. Ivy sighed but nodded.</p><p>“One kiss, and then you go, deal?” Harley smiled widely and clapped her hands excitedly. “Jesus Christ,  you’re cute.” Ivy huffed before leaning forward and pressing her lips softly to Harley’s, when she pulled away Harley had a dreamy expression on her face and Ivy couldn’t help the wide grin that came to hers. “Goodnight Harleen Quinzel.”</p><p>“Night, Night Bagel Bite!” Ivy chortled as she closed the door to the cab. That was quite an eventful night, one she would not soon forget.</p><p>
  <strong>||||||{End Flashback]||||||</strong>
</p><p>“So what you’re tellin’ me is I got high as shit, called ya bagel bite and tried to grope ya in an alley?” Ivy nodded.</p><p>“Yes, that pretty much sums it up.” Harley groaned shoving her face in her hands in clear embarrassment. Ivy laughed about to reassure Harley that it was okay when the other woman spoke again. “I thought that was a dream!” Ivy laughed harder at that and Harley glared at her.</p><p>“Stop laughin’ at me Red!” Ivy let her laughter die down meeting Harley’s gaze.</p><p>“I’m sorry Harls, if it makes you feel any better I found the whole thing to be quite charming.” Harley gave her a disbelieving look.</p><p>“Well shit Pammy, your bar for charmin’ is real low.” Ivy shook her head.</p><p>“No, I just think you’re more charismatic than you think you are.” Harley smiled brightly at that then seemed to realize something.</p><p>“Oh shit! That makes so much more sense now.” Ivy tilted her head in question.</p><p>“Your charisma?” Harley shook her head.</p><p>“No, no, that night, or the day after, I was so confused about how I ended up in Brooklyn, it makes sense now.” Ivy’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.</p><p>“The cabbie drove you to Brooklyn?! Why on earth would he do that?”</p><p>“’Cause ya told me to go somewhere I felt safe, so I went to my parents’ house. Boy was that a mistake.”</p><p>Ivy frowned, four years ago she told Harley to go somewhere safe and she had to go all the way to another city to feel safe. It broke Ivy’s heart to know that Harley hadn’t had anywhere else to go, no one else to make her feel safe. If she had known then what she knew now she wouldn’t have made the other woman leave her hideout in the first place.</p><p>“I’m so sorry Harley, if I had known I would have let you stay with me. I just didn’t know, I thought you would go home, or at the very least to a friend’s house, I’m so sorry.” Harley smiled sadly at her.</p><p>“It’s okay Ives, I don’t got alotta friends in Gotham, but ya didn’t know that, an’ ya took care of me even though I tried ta feel ya up. So ya got nothin’ to be sorry for, okay?” Ivy nodded still feeling guilty. Something occurred to Ivy in that moment however and she had to ask.</p><p>“Wait, if you thought it was all a dream then where did you think the joint came from?” Harley shrugged.</p><p>“I musta stripped as soon as I got into my room cause I found it on the floor the next day, an’ I just thought it was my Dad’s or somethin’.” Ivy raised an eyebrow at that.</p><p>“Your father smokes cannabis?” Harley nodded.</p><p>“Yeah, well at least he used to, I don’t know anymore, we ain’t talked in a real long time.” Ivy felt confused by that, Harley had clearly felt safe with her parents why hadn’t she spoken to them in a long time.</p><p>“Why not?” Harley blew out a breath before answering.</p><p>“Well that weekend when I was stayin’ with ‘em, Mr. J thought it’d be funny if he put out a gag reward for me. Wanted, Dead or Alive, ya know? Reward was half a mill, an’ my parents…well they wanted the money real bad. Didn’t much care if I wanted to go back, an’ since I didn’t they…” Harley’s voice faltered and Ivy rushed forward placing a gentle hand on hers. She felt a blinding hatred for Harley’s parents and wanted to scream, but more than her anger she felt the need to protect Harley.</p><p>“Harley you don’t have to, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have asked.” Harley shook her head, intertwining her fingers with Ivy’s.</p><p>“Nah, it’s okay, I wanna tell ya. It’s just hard yunno?” Ivy nodded waiting patiently as Harley seemed to gather herself. “It was just after our anniversary, an’ Mr. J, well he gave me somethin’ that I really didn’t like. An’ I guess I was a lil nervous about bein’ around him, so I didn’t wanna go back, at least not right away. But like I said, my parents they really wanted that money, an’ the reward did say dead or alive, so… yunno.” Ivy felt her heart break, why on earth did someone as loving and wonderful as Harley have so many horrible people in her life?</p><p>“Oh sweet pea, I’m so sorry.” Harley shrugged.</p><p>“It’s not so much them wantin’ the reward that upset me, it’s just… I told ‘em Ives, I told ‘em what he did an’ they didn’t care, they wanted me to go back anyway, like it didn’t matter to them. Like I didn’t matter to them.” The last sentence came out in a soft whisper and Ivy had to stop herself from pulling Harley into her arms, wanting only to comfort the other woman but remembering Frank’s directive about getting consent.</p><p>“May I please hug you Harley?” Harley nodded and Ivy pulled Harley into a tight embrace stroking her back gently for several moments before speaking again.</p><p>“I’m so sorry that all of that happened to you, and I’m so sorry for the part I played in it. I would have never-“ Harley cut Ivy off.</p><p>“Don’t.” Harley’s tone was firm and it shocked Ivy into clamping her mouth shut quickly.  Harley must have sensed Ivy’s tension because she squeezed Ivy tighter, placing a soft comforting kiss on Ivy’s shoulder before continuing.</p><p>“I just don’t want ya to feel bad, I know ya woulda helped me if ya knew, ‘cause I know ya, an’ I know ya would never let me get hurt if ya could help it. Please don’t feel bad Ives, it wasn’t your fault, none of it was.” Ivy sighed, knowing logically Harley was right. She hadn’t known, couldn’t have known.</p><p>“Okay… but I will say this, I wish I would have let you stay,” Harley moved to object and Ivy rushed forward, “I wish I would have let you stay because I know my life would have been so much better with you in it. I wish I had woken up the next day to find you in my apartment, because I know we would have become friends, I know that I would have spent the last four years with an amazing best friend. You are smart, and funny, and charming and so understanding of me, I wish I had that in my life because you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. God that’s so cliché, but I mean it Harley. I can’t imagine my life without you now, but I can imagine my life with you then, and it would have been so much better. I love you Harley.”</p><p>Harley squeezed Ivy tighter, burying her head into Ivy’s neck and they stayed like that in silence for a long while before Harley spoke again.</p><p>“I love you too Ivy, ya know that don’t ya?” Ivy smiled.</p><p>“Yes, I know Harley.” Harley nodded at that.</p><p>“Good,” Harley was silent for a little while longer. “Hey Pammy?”</p><p>“Yes Harley?”</p><p>“Do ya still smoke pot?” Ivy shook with laughter at the question.</p><p>“Yes Harley, on occasion.” Harley pulled her head from Ivy’s shoulder with a mischievous gleam in her eye and Ivy raised an eyebrow. “Would you like to smoke with me Harley?” Harley nodded eagerly and Ivy chuckled.</p><hr/><p>A joint and several hours of giggling and a discussion about the meaning of life later (Harley thought it had something to do with love. Ivy thought it was 42.) the two women found themselves huddled together in the pillow fort again a pint of ice cream between them. Harley pointed her spoon at Ivy.</p><p>“Hey we ain’t done playin’ truth or dare yet.” Ivy groaned.</p><p>“Do we have to?” Harley nodded resolutely.</p><p>“Yep, now, truth or dare?”</p><p>“Fine, truth.” Harley whined.</p><p>“Come on! Pick dare, it’s so much more fun.” Ivy shook her head.</p><p>“Nope, not going to happen Quinzel, truth.”</p><p>“Ugh, fine, okay truth. Lemme think, oh okay I got a good one, what’s your type?” Ivy looked confused but answered anyway as she took another bite of ice cream and gesturing for Harley to finish the rest.</p><p>“Well when I was human I was AB+, but now my blood is infused with chlorophyll, so … I don’t know what blood type that makes me.” Harley chortled finishing off the ice cream and putting the container and spoons to the side before she responded.</p><p>“No ya ninny, I meant like your type… you know… like the typa people you’re attracted to.” Ivy blew out a puff of air.</p><p>“I don’t know.” Harley shot her a disbelieving look.</p><p>“No really… I … I guess when I was human I had a type, I must have but… I don’t remember what it is now and… well I don’t think I’ve been attracted to anyone since I came back the second time, I just… it’s-whenever I look at someone all I can think about is how many plants has this person killed? Do they believe in global warming? Would they slaughter a bush of roses and think it was romantic? And it just… it’s hard to find someone attractive when all you can think about is plant murder.”</p><p> Harley regarded her silently for a moment, her sky blue eyes probing Ivy with their intensity, searching for the lie in her words. Ivy bit her lip, trying not to read too much into the look before Harley smirked at her.</p><p>“You sure ya haven’t been attracted to anyone since ya came back Pammy?” Her voice was a low purr and the way she said Ivy’s name made her stomach flutter. Had she been attracted to anyone? Was she attracted to Harley? She knew she had been in the past and it sure as hell felt like she was now.</p><p>“I-… I don’t know… maybe.” Harley hummed in approval before pulling her gaze away from Ivy.</p><p>“Your turn.” Ivy cleared her throat.</p><p>“Truth or dare.”</p><p>“Truth.”</p><p>“What’s your type?” The question left Ivy’s lips before she could even think about it.</p><p>“O Negative.” Harley deadpanned and Ivy laughed, tension leaving her body as she did. “I like bad boys an’ good girls.” Ivy’s eyebrows shot up at that.</p><p>“Girls?” Harley nodded. She probably shouldn’t have been surprised by that considering their first encounter, but Ivy had figured the dalliance was more because of Harley’s intoxication rather than an actual attraction to Ivy.</p><p>“Yep, smart, passionate girls, the kinda girl you’d be proud ta bring home. Sweet, awkward girls, who wear their hearts on their sleeves an’ get excited about documentaries an’ who blush when ya call ‘em pretty. Even though ya know for a fact that she’s gotta know she’s the most beautiful girl in the world, it’d be impossible not ta see it.” Harley was looking directly into Ivy’s eyes as she spoke and Ivy felt her heart slamming against the back of her throat.</p><p>“… an’ I really like redheads.” If Ivy was unsure of her attraction before, she was positive about it now. She felt heat rush up her body and knew that she was blushing a dark shade of green but could do nothing about it. Harley stared at her for a moment more before turning away.</p><p>“Truth or dare?” Ivy shook herself from her thoughts, knowing that there was no way she could survive another round of truth.</p><p>“Dare.” Harley turned to her side, moving closer to Ivy before leaning in and whispering in her ear.</p><p>“I dare ya to kiss me.”</p><p>Ivy turned her face towards Harley, her eyes searching the blue ones for several moments before tentatively pushing forward, her lips grazing Harley’s softly. Ivy reached her hand up, pushing her fingers into Harley’s hair and pulling her closer, their lips locking together more firmly. Ivy felt Harley’s hand come to rest against the side of her neck, her fingers grazing lightly over her pulse point as she slotted her lips against Ivy’s, sucking her lower lip into her mouth before giving it a gentle nip.</p><p>Ivy moaned against Harley’s lips and the sound was so needy and wanton that Ivy scarcely believed it came from her lips, but when Harley slipped her tongue in Ivy’s mouth Ivy could think of nothing else. Their tongues tangled together in a wild dance as Harley pushed Ivy back easily climbing on top of her, never letting their lips detach. When Harley ground her hips against Ivy’s abdomen a gasp pushed their lips away and Ivy, lost in the moment shifted her attention to the soft expanse of the other woman’s neck, kissing and sucking the soft flesh there.</p><p>“Oh fuck baby, that feels so good.” At her words Ivy redoubled her efforts and Harley moaned grinding her hips more firmly against Ivy, then all at once she was gone. Ivy blinked in confusion. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’ta done that… I…we… we can’t.” Ivy wanted to scream in protest, wanted to say ‘why the hell not,’ but when she saw the flash of guilt that came over Harley’s features, she knew why not. Him, Jack. Ivy felt a heavy sigh leave her lips and she nodded.</p><p>“Okay… I’m… I’m sorry too.” She wasn’t, not even a little bit, but she hoped the lie would ease some of Harley’s worry. Harley searched her face for a moment before nodding. She lay down on her side, her back towards Ivy and reached back grabbing Ivy’s hand and pulling it around her waist. They lay like that for a moment, Ivy lightly cradling Harley in her arms, Harley playing with the fingers of Ivy’s hand.</p><p>“Ives?”</p><p>“Yes Harley?”</p><p>“Are ya mad at me?” Ivy pulled Harley more firmly against her squeezing her gently before responding.</p><p>“Not even a little bit.” Harley seemed to relax at that, scooting back a little pushing herself against Ivy more fully.</p><p>“Ives?”</p><p>“Yes Harley?”</p><p>“Could we sleep down here tonight?” Ivy smiled placing a light kiss on Harley’s shoulder before responding.</p><p>“Of course we can peanut.” And they stayed like that for the rest of the night, spooned together, whispering gentle words to each other before they drifted off to sleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay okay okay, so first, note how calm and collected Ivy is in the flashback? Oh how the tables have tabled.</p><p>Second, I honest to god was trying to think of a nickname for Harley to use and for some weird reason my brain went 'bagel bite' and I laughed so hard that I had to use it. 'Cause 'when pizza's on a bagel you can have pizza anytime!'</p><p>Third, O negative is the universal donor blood type, and AB+ is the universal receiver blood type, I'm not saying that this is a metaphor for Harley and Ivy's relationship but I'm also... not not saying that it's a metaphor for their relationship</p><p>Fourth, what's that type of make up called that makes people look like raccoons when they cry? I tried Googling it but it just gave me a bunch of information on raccoons, I know it's either eye shadow or eye liner or... something else maybe? Someone who wears make up, Help!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Be All My Sins Remember'd</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger Warning: Graphic depictions of physical, mental and sexual abuse. This one is heavy, so skip it if you feel uncomfortable with it. It's in the flashback, which is clearly marked off by double lines and a "flashback/end flashback" cue. </p><p>Less harsh Trigger warning: In the beginning of the chapter there's a dream sequence which also depicts some physical abuse, not nearly as bad as in the flashback, it's more creepy/eerie than anything. But if you want to skip that it's from the beginning all the way to the first set of double lines. </p><p>If you do end up skipping one or both of these things I do recommend going to the end notes and reading those first because what happens in the dream and the flashback have a lot to do with why Harley's mental state is the way it is. </p><p>Other note: I don't speak French soooo if the dialogue is messed up blame it on Google. But also tell me how to fix it lol. </p><p>As always thank you for reading and stay well.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">Be All My Sins Remember'd</span>
</p><p>The lake was dark, it’s normally crisp blue water now a deep midnight color. Harley couldn’t see her feet as they kicked out under the water keeping her afloat. A whisper of laughter ghosted over Harley’s ears and she snapped her head to the right trying to see through the thicket of trees surrounding her. “Harley?” Harley spun around, meeting green almost glowing eyes peering at her from the edge of the lake. “Are you okay? Why don’t you come back to the house?” Harley tried to ignore the fear building in the base of her spine, tried to ignore the irrational idea lingering in the back of her mind. <em>This isn’t safe. You aren’t safe.</em> She shook her head free of the thoughts and smiled weakly at Ivy.</p><p>“I’m fine Red, why don’t ya come in, the water’s great.” Ivy raised an eyebrow at that as her eyes began to glow brighter. Ivy’s expression darkened, her lips lifting in a sneer as she spoke.</p><p>“Don’t be stupid Harley, you know plants can’t survive in acid.” All at once Harley felt her body on fire, she looked down and the lake was suddenly a putrid green color, bubbling and smoking as Harley tried to swim out. The harder she swam the further the shore seemed to be and her body felt weak from the exertion.</p><p>“Ivy! Ivy please, help me!” Ivy smiled at her, her grin turning wild, her normally pine colored lips shifting to a bright red color spreading out to reveal a row of yellowed teeth as she tilted her head back and let out a torrent of maniacal laughter. As quickly as it started the laugh seemed to abruptly stop, and when Ivy brought her head back up it was no longer Ivy staring back at her.</p><p>“What’s the matter Puddin’, aren’t you glad to see me?” Before Harley could say anything the Joker lurched forward and with inhuman speed was upon Harley in an instant, his devilish grin just centimeters from her face and his hot rough hands wrapped tightly around her throat. “I’m going to make sure you never stray again you stupid whore.” Harley felt his hands tighten as something wrapped around her waist under the water, keeping her from moving. Just before her vision went black she saw Ivy standing at the edge of the lake looking sadly at her.</p><p>“Why did you do it Harley?”</p><hr/>
<hr/><p>Harley woke with a start, her heart pounding and her body trembling with fear. She felt green limbs wrapping around her waist more tightly and she almost shoved them away when she heard a soft cry coming from Ivy’s still sleeping lips. Harley looked up in surprise, shoving her nightmare back into the recesses of her mind as she watched a pained expression cross Ivy’s features. They had shifted in their sleep and Harley found her front pressed tightly against Ivy’s, their legs tangled together, one arm under her head the other draped over Ivy’s hip and Ivy’s arms wrapped tightly around her.</p><p>“no...” The weak whisper escaped Ivy’s lips in a breath, and the pain conveyed in that single syllable broke Harley’s heart.</p><p>“Ivy, sweetie you’re havin’ a nightmare.” Harley whispered the words, not wanting to startle the woman awake. Ivy’s eyebrows furrowed a whimper escaping her lips.</p><p>“don’t… please…” A feeling of dread crashed into Harley, those words, that tone, God what- Harley pulled herself out of her own thoughts, no, she needed to help Ivy. Harley reached her hands up softly stroking Ivy’s face as she spoke a little more loudly to the sleeping woman.</p><p>“Baby, wake up, it’s just a nightmare sweetheart, wake up.” After a moment Ivy’s eyes fluttered open, a look of wild fear turning to confusion as she met Harley’s eyes.</p><p>“Harls?” Her voice was rough with sleep and weak with emotion.</p><p>“I’m here sweetie. I’m-“ Harley’s words were cut off when Ivy surged forward suddenly wrapping Harley in a tight desperate embrace, burying her head into the crease of Harley’s neck, her breath coming in short panicked bursts. Harley’s eyes widened in surprise and she rubbed comforting circles on Ivy’s back as she spoke. “It’s okay baby, just breathe. I’m here, you’re okay, everythin’ is okay sweetie.” Harley felt Ivy trembling against her as she took shuddering gasps of air into her lungs. Harley gripped Ivy’s face in her hands, pulling away just enough to lock eyes with Ivy. Ivy’s eyes were watery and unfocused. “Ivy baby, I need ya to focus on me, okay? Can ya hear my voice baby?” Ivy’s eyes seemed to refocus at Harley’s words.</p><p>“Yes.” The word was ragged and rough but Ivy was speaking and that was what was important.</p><p>“Good girl. What color are my eyes sweetie?”</p><p>“Blue.” With each answer Ivy’s panic seemed to subside.</p><p>“You’re doing so well baby. Can ya feel my hands Ivy?” Ivy nodded shakily. “That’s real good sweetheart. Where’re my hands Ivy?”</p><p>“On my face.” Ivy’s chest was no longer heaving and her eyes were no longer wild with panic, Harley felt relief wash over her. She placed a soft kiss on Ivy’s forehead before pulling her closer resting Ivy’s head against her shoulder as she spoke.</p><p>“Ya did such a good job baby. Just relax, I got ya.” Harley stroked her fingers through Ivy’s hair, listening as Ivy’s breath evened out. When Harley woke again she was alone.</p><p>The two women spent much of the day in quiet preparation for their planned heist. Normally Harley would be giddy with excitement but Harley couldn’t help the growing concern building in her chest and the guilt echoing around her. Ivy hadn’t said much most of the day, she avoided Harley’s gaze and several times Harley caught Ivy staring off with a haunted look in her eyes. Harley wanted to push the other woman down, wrap her in an embrace and hold her until she felt better, but Harley knew that wish was selfish.</p><p>Whatever Ivy had dreamt about had certainly left her shaken but that didn’t mean that she wanted to be held, and Harley was positive that even if she did she wouldn’t want that from Harley, not after what had happened the night before. Harley bit her lip, willing her tears away for what felt like the millionth time that day. She didn’t deserve to be sad, not after what she had done. Guilt racked Harley’s heart and she wanted to apologize but she couldn’t bring herself to.</p><p>Ivy had told her, in no uncertain terms, that she was not attracted to her. She told her that she was not attracted to anyone, and what had Harley done? She had flirted, pushed herself on Ivy and forced her to kiss Harley. Ivy had gone along with the kiss because it’s what Harley wanted, because though she might deny it, Ivy would do anything for Harley and Harley had taken advantage of that. Just like she had done the first time she met Ivy, she had forced herself on Ivy then and she did it again now. To make matters worse she had asked Ivy to hold her, to stay with her, to comfort her afterwards and of course Ivy had complied.</p><p>Ivy had pushed her own well-being aside and had held Harley gently as she slept and when she awoke in a state of panic Harley bore witness to her vulnerability. Harley was sure that Ivy would not have wanted her to see such an intimate moment, a moment of weakness, but there Harley had been, imposing herself on Ivy yet again. Harley was disgusted with herself. Then she remembered as almost an afterthought: Mr. J so trusting of her, so willing to leave her to her own devices, off somewhere working hard as Harley gave her heart away to someone else. Harley’s guilt doubled, she had cheated on him, again, with Ivy, again.</p><p>How could she have forgotten him? The man she dedicated the last seven years of her life to, the supposed love of her life, how had he not even crossed her mind? How often had she even thought of him these last three weeks? Why was it so easy for her to think of Ivy in a romantic light? Why hadn’t she felt guilty before when she pictured, kissing Ivy, romantic getaways together, candle lit anniversary dinners, love letters or decidedly less innocent things? How had she not realized that those thoughts would lead to this? Perhaps Mr. J had been right when he called her a stupid useless whore. It certainly felt like an accurate description.</p><p>By the time night had rolled around Harley could scarcely think of anything besides her guilt. She had started so many times during the day to apologize, but stopped herself before the words left her mouth. Ivy didn’t need Harley distracting her. She would apologize after she helped Ivy. Harley secured her bat in a sheath behind her back as she nodded to Ivy.</p><p>The plan was simple, Ivy, dressed as a hapless tourist would go up to the night guard and plead with him to let her in the museum. She was just a simple French girl who had dropped her passport and with her flight leaving so soon, he was her only hope. Ivy had rolled her eyes at the idea but chuckled and went along with it. With the night guard distracted and escorting Ivy around the museum Harley would swoop in, steal the flower and duck out. She would text Ivy from the car and Ivy would pretend it was her brother, oh what luck he’d found her passport in the hotel. Ivy would hurry off and the guard would be none the wiser.</p><p>That was the plan, but you know what they say about plans, the best laid plans… well they get fucked up. Harley had let her distraction get the best of her and when she’d turned a corner she bumped into something the sound echoing loudly throughout the museum. In an instant the night guard had his gun trained on her (in Gotham there was so much crime that even mall cops had guns).</p><p>“Put your hands up!” Ivy’s eyes widened beside him and she threw her arms around the man’s neck in an almost damsel in distress motion.</p><p>“Quelle malchance!” The guard smirked clearly pleased by the show Ivy was putting on. Harley wanted to gag.</p><p>“It’s okay princess, daddy will take care of you.” Harley could see the anger flashing over Ivy’s face and she knew it was taking every bit of will she had not to just kill the guy right then and there.</p><p>“Oh Monsieur, please do not ‘arm ze mademoiselle, she is but a… how you say? Enfant.” Ivy stroked her fingers over the man’s arms as she spoke, and Harley had to force herself not to laugh at the ridiculous accent Ivy was putting on.</p><p>“Sorry honey, this bitch is getting locked up. Lay down on the floor now!” Harley sighed and laid face down on the ground counting to thirty in her head.</p><p>“Écoute, il n'y a rien de personnel, mais je vais sûrement <em>devoir te tuer</em> pour sortir d'ici.” Harley had no idea what Ivy was saying, but damn did she sound good speaking French.</p><p>“Listen sugar lips I don’t speak no other languages except good old American Engli-“ The man’s voice stopped short and Harley looked up watching as a dazed expression took over his face. She jumped up from the ground and wiped her legs.</p><p>“Jesus, that was the longest 30 seconds of my life, I thought he was never gonna shut up.” Harley looked over at Ivy whose jaw was clenched, serious expression on her face and Harley stopped talking.</p><p>The rest of the heist went off without a hitch, Harley secured the plant and Ivy had the night guard delete all of the security footage before locking up again. They made their way back home in silence and Harley trembled in fear the whole ride home. Harley knew, logically, that Ivy would never hurt her, but some deep animal part of her gnashed at her insides. <em>What if you’re wrong?</em> Harley tried to push the thought down, no, Ivy wouldn’t do that. Ivy cared about Harley. <em>So does Mr. J, and he still does it. Remember the last time you messed up a heist?</em> Harley shut her eyes against the memory trying to will it away, but it was no use, it flooded her senses as if it was happening all over again.</p><hr/>
<hr/><p>
  <strong>||||||[Flashback]||||||</strong>
</p><p>Harley heard the backhand more than felt it, her body still shaking with adrenaline from the botched heist. A fist collided with her stomach and she bent forward as the air rushed out of her lungs, a hand gripped her hair and she was pulled up, face to face with a seething Joker.</p><p>“You stupid reckless bitch! I told you to wait in the car, it was a simple job, a fucking German Shepard could have done it!” It was true Mr. J had told her to wait in the car, and she had but when she saw Batman sneaking up behind Mr. J she couldn’t help herself. She jumped out of the car mallet in hand and slammed it against the Bat’s back, but as usual the Bat fought back. At the end of the scuffle they’d all made it back in one piece but Mr. J had lost his loot and he was the definition of fury.</p><p>“But no, you had to come out, had to reveal your position. You just like to be looked at don’t you, you useless whore?!”  Harley moved to deny it but Mr. J wrapped his hands around Harley’s throat and he squeezed, he squeezed so hard that Harley saw stars, and within minutes she had passed out.</p><p>When Harley came to she couldn’t move, her arms and legs were strapped to the ends of a metal table and she was completely naked. She cried out and the only response was Mr. J’s maniacal laughter.</p><p>“What’s the matter Puddin’? Don’t you like being displayed like the whore you are? Take a good look fellas, but no touching, only I get to touch. Isn’t that right Puddin’?” Mr. J’s eyes were cold and cruel and Harley felt tears burning in the back of her throat. The goons leering down at her naked body made shame fill her stomach and she wanted to yell, to thrash, to get out, but she stayed still, hoping for it to be over soon.</p><p>“Answer me you stupid whore! Unless you want me to let them touch you, would you like that Harley? Would you like these greasy fucks to pound your brains out? Huh? Do you want me to leave you tied up here and let them use you over and over again like a dime-store hooker?”</p><p>“No, Mr. J, no please.” Harley couldn’t hold the tears back any longer and she felt them stream down her face. Mr. J traced a possessive hand over her body, stopping to squeeze her breasts before cupping her chin in his hand turning her face towards his.</p><p>“Aw look at you, all scared and upset. I would never let these animals touch you.” He wiped her tears away placing a soft kiss on her lips before continuing. “You know why Harley?” Harley didn’t trust her voice so she simply shook her head. “Because you’re mine and no one gets to touch you but me. Do you understand Harley?” Harley nodded. “Say it.”</p><p>“I understand Mr. J.” Mr. J smiled, kissing her again before reaching up and tightening the restraints on her wrists, Harley felt her circulation cut off but she didn’t dare say anything.</p><p>“Good, you might be a useless whore, but you’re my useless whore.” Mr. J let his head fall back in wild laughter before he stopped and cupped his hand over her sex. “Say it Harley.” Harley forced the words out of her lips in a fearful whimper.</p><p>“I’m your useless whore.”  He pulled his hand away and smacked her thigh hard, leaving an angry red welt there.</p><p>“Good, now you’re going to lay here and think about what you did tonight. Then when I let you go you’re going to remember to do what I say, aren’t you Puddin’?” Harley nodded and he smirked, waving his goons off as he walked out of the room. Harley couldn’t tell how long she spent strapped to that table, but when Mr. J had finally released her, he gave her only minutes to dress before he threw her out on the street.</p><p>
  <strong>||||||[End Flashback]||||||</strong>
</p><hr/>
<hr/><p>When Harley was released from the memory she found herself sitting on Ivy’s sofa, she must have made her way all the way back to the house in a daze. She looked over to the armchair where Ivy was sitting, her jaw still clenched as she stared off into space. Harley felt her fear rise up in her faster than she could control and a sob wretched out of her lips before she could stop it. Ivy looked over at her startled by the sound.</p><p>Ivy shot up from her seat and moved towards Harley as if to touch her and Harley recoiled backwards. Ivy seemed almost wounded by the action but she stopped her stride and held her hands up, indicating that she wouldn’t touch Harley. Harley pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs as she spoke.</p><p>“Please Ivy, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to. I’m so sorry.” Ivy looked saddened by Harley’s words, but Harley couldn’t stop herself. “Please Ivy… please…” Harley cast her gaze down not wanting to see the anger that was sure to come.</p><p>Ivy knelt down in front of the sofa, still not touching Harley as she tried to make eye contact with Harley.</p><p>“Harley, please look at me.” Harley still scared, but unwilling to upset Ivy further, did as she was told. The green eyes that met hers were many things, they were concerned, sad, caring, comforting, they were pools of pine green that made Harley think of Christmas and good will, they were thickets of mint and juniper that soothed Harley with their calm, Ivy’s eyes were many things, but they weren’t angry or cruel.</p><p>“I don’t know what you’re apologizing for, but you don’t have to be sorry, not for anything Harley. I’m so very sorry that I frightened you, I didn’t mean to.” Harley searched her eyes for some malice, some lie hidden within them, finding nothing she spoke softly.</p><p>“You were so mad Ivy.”</p><p>“No sweet pea, not mad. Worried.” Harley felt her fear start to ebb as she took in the other woman’s expression.</p><p>“…’cause ya thought we weren’t gonna get the flower?” Ivy shook her head.</p><p>“No, because…” Ivy’s eyes filled with tears and she cleared her throat before continuing. “Harley when that man pointed his gun at you… I was so scared… I thought I was going to lose you, Harley I can’t lose you.” Ivy’s voice broke and the tears started drifting down her face. Harley felt her fear collapse in on itself leaving heart breaking sadness in its place, how could she have ever thought this woman would harm her?</p><p>Harley eased off the sofa and came to kneel in front of Ivy wiping the tears from her face before pulling her into a tight embrace. Ivy clung to her tightly and they cried and comforted each other for what felt like hours before Ivy pulled back and looked into Harley’s eyes an intense look of conviction on her face.</p><p>“I would never hurt you Harley. Not ever. I swear it.” Harley smiled weakly at her, kissing her cheek gently before hugging her again.</p><p>“I know Pammy. I know.” And she did know, but knowing and believing were two different things.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>T/W note (dream): essentially the in dream sequence Ivy transforms into Joker, who is basically a manifestation of Harley's guilt for kissing Ivy and her fear for the consequences. This leaves Harley on edge for obvious reasons. </p><p>T/W note (flashback): Joker blames Harley for a heist gone wrong and uses this as an excuse to violate her. It's honestly disgusting and I don't know how to describe it without using too many details. But there is an element of public humiliation that goes along with the abuse. I only mention that because it will come up again in future chapters. But the long and short of it is that Harley suffers from PTSD and is triggered by what happens with Ivy. </p><p>French Dialogue translation: Quelle malchance! = what bad luck!<br/>Écoute, il n'y a rien de personnel, mais je vais sûrement devoir te tuer pour sortir d'ici : Listen, it's nothing personal but I'm going to have to kill you to get out of here. </p><p>Other note: 'cause some of you were wondering, I think the reason Ivy was less awkward in the flashback in the previous chapter is for a couple of reasons.<br/>1- she was high, which she did to get relaxed, so mission accomplished.<br/>2- the timeline, the event takes place four years prior to when the fiction starts, that's important for two reasons (a) it was before she died the second time, which left her less 'human' than before and (b) after she died the second time she put herself into isolation to avoid accidentally poisoning people with her skin, which means she was basically alone for 3 years, that would mess up anyone's social abilities. <br/>3- when Ivy meets Harley in this fic (even though the dumbass won't admit it) she has already caught Feelings™, so that makes her infinitely more nervous/awkward</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Be Prepared for the Coup of the Century</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>No major Trigger warnings for this one, there are brief mentions of past abuse and trauma. </p><p>Note: There's a big time jump in this one, if ya blink ya might miss it. It jumps like 2 months ahead after the first line divide bc Harley needed more time to heal and I couldn't force myself to write 2 months worth of these idiots pining after one another, I just couldn't do it guys. </p><p>Other Note: Just like I don't speak French, I also don't speak science. (C- in Freshman Bio baby) So please ignore the psuedo science if you are more of an expert than I am, I did some google searches, pushed a lot of jargon together and hoped it made some semblance of sense. My bad to any STEM people out there, I'm sorry if it pulls you out of the story a bit.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">Be Prepared for the Coup of the Century</span>
</p><p>When Ivy woke she found herself pinned between the soft cushions of her sofa and a lightly snoring Harley. They had been so physically and mentally exhausted last night that they fell asleep on the sofa after spending much of the night whispering things to each other. They spoke softly about life, friendship, fear, their favorite types of fruits, the most acceptable toppings for waffles (unsurprisingly for Harley this was massive amounts of whipped cream, for Ivy it was fresh fruit), Frank’s real name (Ivy called him Francis while Harley thought Frankenstein was a much better name), their opinions on spiders (Harley didn’t mind them, but Ivy fucking hated spider mites), and love.  The conversation was kept light on purpose, neither woman prepared to tackle the emotional turmoil they’d felt that day, but today was a new day and Ivy was unsure of her footing.</p><p>Ivy laid there for a long time, watching Harley, taking her in, she noted how Harley kept her head tucked into Ivy’s shoulder, how when she breathed out or mumbled something in her sleep her lips would graze Ivy’s collar bone. Ivy noticed that while one of Harley’s arms seemed to have been lost to the abyss of the sofa cushions the other had made its way under Ivy’s shirt and gripped her hip lightly. Ivy found that their legs had completely tangled together and whenever Harley shifted her warm toes would stroke Ivy’s cool calves. Ivy discovered that while Harley kept her hair in neat pigtails throughout the day at night her hair was a wild mass of yellow that seemed to be everywhere at once.</p><p>Ivy brushed a piece of said hair off of her face and Harley stirred. Ivy waited in silence for a few moments until sleepy blue eyes looked up at her. “Mornin’ Red. Sorry fer crushin’ ya.” Even as she said the words Harley made no move to get off of Ivy and Ivy smiled.</p><p>“It’s okay… It’s nice.” Ivy tempered her words, she wanted to say it was wonderful, that she wanted it to happen every day, that if she woke up like this every morning for the rest of her life she’d know what heaven was. Ever since their kiss Ivy’s mind had been working on overtime, analyzing each second they spent together, was she, as she suspected, falling for Harley? She genuinely didn’t know the answer to that question, but what she did know was that regardless of the answer Harley had no room in her heart for Ivy.</p><p>That space was reserved for Jack, and she hated it, hated him for all the harm he had done to Harley. Ivy wanted nothing more than to beat the man within an inch of his life to show him just an inkling of the pain he had forced upon Harley. No, that wasn’t true, what she wanted more than that was for Harley to be happy, to know her worth, to feel confident and secure. She wanted Harley to know that she deserved the world on a silver platter and she wanted Harley to demand nothing less. She wanted Harley to feel free, unshackled by the expectations, demands and criticisms of those she loved.</p><p>Ivy wanted those things, but she knew that expressing her desires, her overwhelming care for the other woman would not help Harley. Harley was unable to return Ivy’s feelings, and Ivy would respect that. Harley didn’t need another person in her life who would impose themselves on her, who would take advantage of her kind heart and her eagerness to please, she didn’t need another Jack. She needed a friend, a confidant, a safe haven, someone who would be there for her no matter what, and Ivy would be that for her.</p><p>Ivy felt soft fingers stroking across her forehead, “When ya think too much your forehead gets these cute lil wrinkles.” Ivy laughed.</p><p>“Cute? My step mother would beg to differ. ‘Worry lines lead to wrinkles and wrinkles are a woman’s biggest downfall’.” Ivy put on a particularly haughty voice as she said the words and Harley let out a loud belt of laughter.</p><p>“Is that how she really sounds?” Ivy nodded and Harley’s eyes twinkled. “Do the voice again.”</p><p>“If a woman is to truly please her husband she must get her first breast lift at the age of 27 so as to offset the tolls of age.” Harley’s eyes widened and she let out another loud laugh.</p><p>“Oh my god, did she say that, for real?”</p><p>“Yes and she also told me that valium was a valuable tool for women as it helps them maintain an attitude befitting of a woman.”  Harley balked at that.</p><p>“What attitude is that? Quiet an’ high as shit?”</p><p>“Yep.”</p><p>“Wow, an’ I thought my Ma was a trip.” With that Harley rolled off of Ivy, standing in front of the sofa and stretching out as she yawned.</p><p>Moments later the two women sat side by side at the kitchen island eating a simple breakfast of cereal and coffee. Harley had insisted that since Ivy had let Harley use her as a pillow she was absolved from her breakfast duties. Ivy suspected that Harley simply wanted an excuse to eat the overly sugary cereal that barely constituted a meal.</p><p>“Harley?” Harley looked up from the cereal box she’d been reading.</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“Thank you for your help last night… with the heist. It has occurred to me that there was really nothing in it for you and I appreciate your help even though you got nothing out of it.”</p><p>“Don’t be silly Red, of course I got somethin’ outta it. I got ta go on a heist with the most badass villain in Gotham, that right there is somethin’ real special.” Ivy smiled.</p><p>“Thank you… but really… I’d like to return the favor.” Harley looked confused at Ivy’s words.</p><p>“Whaddya mean Ives?”</p><p>“Well it’s just that all of this environmental stuff it’s kind of what I do, but isn’t there something, some kind of heist or caper that you want to do? What are you interested in? What are your criminal goals?”</p><p>“I don’t got no goals Red, I just like ta stir shit up an’ have fun.” Ivy found it hard to believe that a woman as smart and capable as Harley had no goals whatsoever.</p><p>“Really? But… what do you want to accomplish?” Harley shrugged.</p><p>“I dunno, I haven’t really thought about any of that, at least not since I was a normie.” Ivy considered this for a moment.</p><p>“Well… what were your goals then?”</p><p>“Um… I dunno I guess I just sorta wanted ta help people, ya know?” Ivy, in point of fact, did not know as helping other people had never been top on her list of priorities.</p><p>“How do you mean?”</p><p>“Well I got into psychology cause it always fascinated me, thinkin’ bout why people did the things they did. An’ I figured if people weren’t so messed up by their past an’ their circumstances, maybe they could be betta. So I became a doc to fix people’s heads, ‘cept that didn’t work out too well fer me.” Ivy considered this answer for a moment.</p><p>“Well… I know it’s not exactly the same as how you envisioned, but you make me better Harley.” Harley shot Ivy a disbelieving look but Ivy persisted.</p><p> “Really, you do. Before you I was willing to just live out the rest of my days alone without ever trying to forge a connection with another person, but you made me realize that, while I still mostly hate people, some of them are worth the effort. Well one of them, I don’t know if I could tolerate anyone but you, but still… progress?” Harley looked genuinely touched by the sentiment and she pulled Ivy into a tight hug.</p><p>“Ivy that’s so sweet! Thank ya fer sayin’ that! I really appreciate it.” Ivy returned the hug.</p><p>“And I think I’ve become at least marginally better at physical affection.” Harley laughed pulling away from Ivy as she did.</p><p>“Soooo much betta, your cuddles are the best!” Ivy blushed at the praise and cleared her throat.</p><p>“Right… well. Anyway, perhaps you can still pursue your goals, I mean if you still wish to help others.” Harley raised an eyebrow at that.</p><p>“Pammy, I love ya, but what’re ya talkin’ bout? Villains don’t exactly get ta run a psychiatric practice.”</p><p>“No, I know, but I always kind of saw you as more chaotic good than anything.” Harley raised a questioning eyebrow. “… I played dungeons and dragons in college.”</p><p>“Of course ya did.”</p><p>“Anyway…. I thought maybe if you combined your desire to help people with your desire to have fun you might be able to still pursue your goals.”</p><p>“An’ how exactly would that work?”</p><p>“I don’t know… you could capture the CEO of Ace chemicals and force him to build a theme park that ran completely on renewable energy, only served vegan food and used the profits to… um… give to sick children?” Ivy watched Harley’s face for a moment, her expression unreadable. “Or something else? Sorry was that a dumb idea? I kind of put my environmental spin on it by accident, I can’t help it sometimes, but-“</p><p>“That sounds like the most amazin’ idea I ever fuckin’ heard Ivy!”</p><p>“… really? You’re not just saying that to be nice?” Harley shook her head.</p><p>“No, no, really that’s so fuckin’ awesome… I think… I think that’s it, my new goal, to do absolutely bat shit crazy stuff that still helps people an’ is super fuckin’ fun!”</p><p>“Really? Okay… do you want to brainstorm ideas or something?” Harley’s eyes twinkled with excitement.</p><p>“Yes!”</p><p>The two spent the better part of the morning coming up with ideas for potential capers, Harley’s favorite idea being stealing a nuclear warhead in order to force the Mayor to name a highway after her, with the caveat that the money from the tolls on said highway would have to be used to install solar panels and giant slides on every school, orphanage and children’s hospital in Gotham. (The solar panels were of course Ivy’s idea, and Harley loving Ivy’s green little plant heart couldn’t deny her.)</p>
<hr/><p>The women quickly found that with the seedy criminal element in Gotham being what it was, it was surprisingly easy to procure a nuclear warhead. Nearly two months later, with the abruptly renamed Harley Quinn Parkway and the Ace Amazon Conservation Arena under construction, the women had found themselves as something of a curious celebrity duo. They had also stolen every pizza shop’s supply of pineapples but Ivy didn’t understand how that was helpful to people. (“Trust me Red, ya ain’t never seen true evil unless ya had pineapple on a pizza.”)</p><p>“Hey Ives! Get in here! We’re on TV!” Ivy walked into the living room curiously and sure enough pictures of her and Harley appeared on the screen side by side.</p><p>“Ugh, I hate that picture.” Harley waved her off.</p><p>“Oh hush, ya look gorgeous.” Ivy was about to respond when the voice on the TV caught her attention.</p><p>“That’s right folks, Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy are the pair of the year! No one knows how or why these two got together, but we sure are happy that they did. What an interesting duo! But you all know that here on The Tawny Show we don’t just feed you old news do we? That’s right we don’t! We have a scoop for you today, and these two ladies are in the center of it all, so stay tuned. We’ll be right back after these words from our sponsors.”</p><p>“What on earth is she talking about?” Harley looked just as puzzled as Ivy.</p><p>“Beats me Red, but ya know all these shows just say stuff like that for ratin’s, she’s probably gonna come back an’ say that we’re plannin’ to get a makeover or somethin’ like that…. Speakin’ of which, I got an idea for a new costume, that jester’s outfit just ain’t me anymore.” Ivy nodded.</p><p>“Okay, sure, do you want to go shopping later?” Harley was about to respond when the music of The Tawny Show came back on and they both shifted their attention to the TV.</p><p>“Welcome back to The Tawny Show! Now I know you all are on the edge of your seats about our big scoop, and Tawny will not let you down. You are about to see exclusive footage of the two first ladies of crime and let me tell you ladies and gentlemen: It. Is. Steamy!”</p><p>The camera cut to what looked like a video taken on a mobile phone, Harley had her arms wrapped around Ivy’s waist as Ivy used a vine to lower them gently to the ground. As soon as their feet touched the ground they hugged each other happily, but when they pulled away they caught each other’s eyes and a split second later they were kissing.</p><p>Ivy felt her legs weaken and she plopped down heavily on the armchair behind her. The footage had been from a couple of days ago, the two had just finished forcing the CEOs of several multi-million dollar clothing companies to use sustainable practices and to give woman’s pants deeper pockets (Harley had assured Ivy that this was a feminist issue and needed to be rectified sooner rather than later.) When they’d left the building they were pursued by Batman and several police cars, they had gotten away by skin of their teeth and in the excitement had kissed.</p><p>After they got home they had decided it had been a spur of the moment thing and needn’t be discussed further. That was until Tawny decided to air out their dirty laundry.</p><p>“That’s right ya’ll you saw it here first, Gotham’s newest set of Sapphic Super villains! They say the couple that plays together stays together and these girls came to play! I know what you’re thinking, what about Joker? Did he and Harley break up? Well Harley isn’t the only one with a new beau! Stay tuned to see just who Gotham’s clown prince has been locking lips with!”</p><p>Ivy looked over at Harley, but Harley was very intently watching a commercial starring a mother cleaning an impossibly large spill with one single paper towel. To be honest Ivy was a tiny bit relieved. She needed more time to gather her thoughts. What would she say? Would Harley be angry? Who the fuck did Jack think he was cheating on Harley? Was that hypocritical since technically she and Harley had kissed? Did two kisses count as cheating? If Jack was back in town, had he contacted Harley? Why hadn’t Harley told Ivy if he did?</p><p>“We’re back and Tawny is not going to leave you hanging! The Joker has not been moping around since his break up with Harley, oh no, the clown prince of Gotham has been busy these last few months. He’s been spotted around town getting close with this mysterious woman.”</p><p>On the screen flashed several different photos of Jack in various situations with the same woman, dancing together at a club, having a romantic dinner together, kissing by the docks, and doing a lot more than kissing on a yacht.</p><p>“oooh that’s sizzling! And if that’s not enough to convince you take a look at another Tawny Show exclusive!”</p><p>The screen cut to another video, this time showing the two topless, kissing and groping in what looked like a public restroom.</p><p>“We can’t show you the rest of that video because we’re a family show, but let me tell you ladies and gentlemen: It. Gets. Spicy!”</p><p>Harley clicked off the television and for several seconds both women just stared blankly at the black screen in front of them.</p><p>“So that was…” Ivy trailed off not knowing how to complete her sentence.</p><p>“Spicy?” Harley offered and Ivy tried to bite back a laugh, but soon both women were laughing hysterically, tears streaming down their cheeks, lungs heaving for breath as they tried desperately to reel in their laughter.  After their laughter died down Ivy turned to Harley.</p><p>“So… shopping?”</p>
<hr/><p>Several thrift stores, hobby shops and tailors later Harley had finally decided on what she called her “new badass lady villain who don’t take no crap from nobody,” signature look. It honestly just looked like a red and black bikini to Ivy, but she couldn’t deny that the blonde looked good, and if anyone could pull off the outfit it was Harley Quinn. Harley had insisted that the new look was not complete without a new hairdo, which Ivy had discovered simply meant dyeing the ends of her pigtails.</p><p> “Are ya sure ya set the alarm Red? It feels like a half hour shoulda passed by now.” Ivy chuckled.</p><p>“I’m sure, and it’s only been five minutes Harley.” Harley huffed impatiently as she slid down further into the empty bathtub. Ivy had just finished applying the blue and pink hair dye to the ends of Harley’s ponytails and had restricted her to the bathtub because she didn’t want hair dye all over the house. Her choice had been a wise one as not even a minute after she’d finished applying the hair dye had Harley spun her head so fast that splatters of pink and blue hit the bathroom walls.</p><p>“But I’m boooooored!” Harley stretched out the word for an obnoxiously long time before turning to Ivy with a pout.</p><p>“Nope, that’s not going to work this time Quinzel. You got hair dye all over my bathroom walls, it won’t come out!”</p><p>“Ya see that’s the thing Pammy, you’re lookin’ at it all wrong, I didn’t stain your bathroom walls, I redecorated!” Harley batted her eyelashes innocently at Ivy and Ivy raised an eyebrow in return.</p><p>“Yes, well be that as it may, the rest of my house doesn’t need a makeover Harley.”</p><p>“Aww you’re no fun Red.”</p><p>“No, you’re right. I’m no fun, I should just leave you alone to have fun for the next twenty-two and a half minutes.” Ivy moved to get up from her position sitting against the side of the bathtub but Harley grabbed her arm quickly.</p><p>“Noooo! I didn’t mean it, you’re the most fun, smart, beautiful bestest friend a girl could ever ask for! Ya gotta stay! I’ll die of boredom without ya.” Ivy settled back down against the bathtub smirking at Harley.</p><p>“Well when you put it that way, how can I resist?”</p><p>“Ya can’t daffodil, ‘cause I’m irresistible!” With that Harley reached over the side of the bathtub grabbing Ivy’s face in her hands and planting a big wet kiss on Ivy’s cheek. As Harley did that a big drop of pink dye plopped to the floor beside Ivy. “Whoops!” Ivy groaned.</p><p>“You see, this is why you’re restricted to the bathtub.”</p><p>“Okay fair, but can I use your phone to play music? My battery died.” Ivy handed her phone over to Harley who immediately started shuffling through Spotify.</p><p>“Jesus Ives, do you ONLY listen to podcasts?”</p><p>“No, occasionally I listen to the Top Hits playlist… generally I only like a few of the songs though.” Harley smiled affectionately at Ivy before responding.</p><p>“You’re such a nerd and I love ya for it, but I’m gonna teach ya about some good music so get ready cause DJ Quinn is in the house!” Immediately after saying that Harley pressed play on a song that was surprisingly slow.</p><p>“Huh, I thought it was going to be some fast lou-“the bass drop interrupted Ivy’s sentence “okay never mind there it is.” Ivy chuckled before resigning herself to listen to Harley’s music for the next twenty minutes. While it wasn’t exactly her taste Ivy would listen without judgment, surely there had to be some overlap between their musical tastes.</p><p>Harley frowned in concentration as she compiled a playlist, using one hand with quick precision to tap at the phone, while the other still hung off the side of the tub. Harley’s free hand had started to idly play with the top button of Ivy’s Henley shirt. Ivy watched the hand, and as she often did in moments like these, took in the multitude of scars that covered Harley’s body. In the center of Harley’s wrist was a circular scar that looked as if it had been a burn, perhaps a cigarette, or a cigar. Ivy never asked about Harley’s scars, she didn’t want to make the other woman uncomfortable but she often wondered how many more scars it would take for Harley to realize she didn’t deserve that kind of treatment.</p><p>And as she often did, Ivy thought of her mother, a sweet caring woman who spent years with an abusive man, because she loved him, because she had nowhere else to go, because she wanted the best for Ivy, only to die by his hands in front of Ivy. Ivy had nightmares of those memories for years and now with her concern for Harley being what it was those nightmares had restarted, this time switching back and forth between her mother and Harley, her father and Jack, no matter the combination it always sent Ivy into a panic. More and more often though Ivy had found herself cradled in Harley’s arms when she woke up in those fits of panic and Harley always knew how to calm her down.</p><p>“Harley?” Harley lowered the music before responding.</p><p>“Yeah babe?” Ivy always felt a little flustered when Harley used those types of pet names with her, she enjoyed it, but she knew that Harley probably just spoke like that to friends and that it was best not to read into it.</p><p>“We need to talk about something.” Harley’s hand stilled on the button it had been twirling before pulling back completely. Ivy cringed. This was probably not going to go well.</p><p>“Is this about the Tawny show? ‘Cause honest Red it’s not that big a deal. I don’t care if Mr. J thinks we’re together, serves him right fer cheatin’ on me with that hussy. What kinda name is Punchline anyways? I been here for nearly 3 months Ives an’ in that whole time he ain’t never told me he was back in Gotham, hell he ain’t never even called or texted me, ‘cept for a peach emoji an’ a dick pic like two weeks ago. Which now that I’m thinkin’ about it, he probably sent me by accident. If this was a coupla months ago I probably woulda forgiven him yunno, but now, I dunno it’s like I’m not even sad, just pissed.” This had not been at all what Ivy had wanted to talk about, but she liked the way this was going nonetheless, so she stayed quiet.</p><p>“Plus, I don’t wanna go back, I really like what we got goin’ here Ives, you’re the best partner in crime a girl could ask for. Unless ya don’t want me here anymore I-“ Ivy spun around so quickly at that that Harley pulled back surprised by the motion.</p><p>“Shit, sorry… I didn’t mean to startle you, I just, I absolutely want you here Harley, you don’t have to go anywhere you don’t want to go. This is your home for as long as you want it.”</p><p>“Ya mean it Red?” Harley’s question came timidly from her lips.</p><p>“One hundred percent Harley, I mean do you think I give keys to the front gate to just anybody? I went to a locksmith and interacted with another human being to get you those Harley. Do you know how tortuous that was?” Harley laughed.</p><p>“Ya know they got machines that make copies of keys now, dontcha?” Ivy scowled at Harley before turning back around and resting her back against the bathtub again.</p><p>“No, I did not know that, if I had I wouldn’t have spent twenty minutes with that buffoon who kept calling me sweetheart.” Ivy spat the word out in disgust and Harley gasped behind her.</p><p>“Hey! I call ya sweetheart sometimes!”</p><p>“Yes but it’s different when you say it.” <em>When you say it I blush and think about how much I want to kiss you.</em> Ivy rolled her eyes at her own thoughts.</p><p>“How?”</p><p>“I don’t hate you.” Harley laughed again.</p><p>“Well I don’t hate ya either sweetheart… So you ain’t mad?”</p><p>Ivy furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, “about the locksmith? No that was ages ago, though I still don’t understand why it took him twenty minutes to make two keys.”</p><p>“No ya goof, about the whole Tawny thing.”</p><p>Ivy sighed, “of course I’m mad Harley, that piece of misogynistic clown shit cheated on you… sorry I know you don’t like when I talk about him like that.”</p><p>Harley waved a dismissive hand at that, “it’s fine, but that’s not what I meant. I meant about the kiss, how everyone in Gotham thinks we’re an item now?”</p><p>“Why would I be mad about that?” Ivy kept her tone neutral, wondering if Harley was actually the one who was mad about it.</p><p>“’Cause ya don’t want people thinkin’ you’re datin’ someone like me.”</p><p>“Harley I honestly don’t care what people think, and what do you mean someone like you? You mean someone who’s kind, fun, smart, beautiful and thoughtful? Yes what a horror it would be if people thought I was dating someone as wonderful as you.”</p><p>“Ya think I’m beautiful Pammy?” Ivy heard the disbelieving lilt in Harley’s voice and she wished not for the first time that Harley knew just how wonderful she was.</p><p>“I know you’re beautiful Harley. You know how I know?”</p><p>“How?”</p><p>“Because I have eyes Harley, a geriatric gay man would find you attractive Harls.” Harley laughed at that for a moment before responding.</p><p>“You don’t find me attractive though.” Ivy grimaced at that, she had said that she didn’t find anyone attractive a few short months ago, but at this point Harley had to know that it was a bold faced lie.</p><p>“Yes well… I might have been not exactly telling the whole truth when I said that…” Ivy felt her face flush and rushed to change the topic. “Anyway, none of this is what I was talking about when I said we needed to talk about something.” Harley didn’t say anything for several seconds and Ivy pushed forward.</p><p>“Okay so here’s the thing there’s this new project I’ve been working on the last few months in my lab, well not new-new, an old project that I started working on again recently, so old-new. Anyway I wanted to talk to you about it but… I didn’t want you to be upset with me.”</p><p>Harley seemed wary as she responded, “okay… ya haven’t been doin’ experiments on me in my sleep or nothin’ have ya?”</p><p>“What? No! Of course not! I just… uh… okay hold on.” Ivy scrambled up from her spot on the floor and raced out of the bathroom. She ran into her lab and after some shuffling around found what she was looking for and raced back to the bathroom. In her rush Ivy slid into the open door of the bathroom before going in the room. Harley looked slightly perturbed by Ivy’s erratic behavior but said nothing as Ivy came to sit beside the bathtub again. Ivy gently handed the green vial to Harley and Harley inspected the liquid for a moment before speaking.</p><p>“Um… what am I lookin’ at here Red?”</p><p>Ivy gestured to the vial in Harley’s hands, “that is formula 535, it is a mixture of plant and human properties, by disguising itself as a channel protein the formula is able to penetrate cell membranes of the body and by doing so is able to alter the intracellular fluid, this then causes a chain reaction which eventually leads to all the cells in the body being altered this way. The purpose of the formula is to imbue the body with certain qualities. For example it allows the fibroblasts to move much quicker in their collagen production and as a result the body repairs the avascular epithelial tissue at an exponentially quicker rate, meaning that the proliferative phase of healing is vastly more efficient. It also-“ Harley rested a soft hand on Ivy’s shoulder and squeezed gently before speaking.</p><p>“Ives sweetie, I love ya, an’ I love when ya get all excited bout your sciency stuff, it’s super fuckin’ cute, but I got no idea what you’re talkin’ about. Can ya give it ta me in plain English please?” Ivy flushed.</p><p>“Right, yes, sorry.” Ivy took a deep breath her nerves getting the better of her. “The formula is kind of like a Trojan horse, it gets into the body before the body can fight it off and it changes the biology of a person.”</p><p>“Whoa… cool. What’s it do? Like make people allergic to beef or somethin’ so they stop supportin’ the meat industry an’ global warmin’ gets betta?” Ivy turned and stared at Harley completely dumbfounded. Harley raised an eyebrow at her.</p><p>“Okay… that look either means I somehow got it completely right or the idea is so stupid that ya don’t even know what ta say…”</p><p>“No, this look means I can’t believe I never thought of doing something like that before and thank you for the genius idea!” Harley smiled brightly at that.</p><p>“Dr. Harleen Quinzel at your service!” Harley tipped an imaginary hat at Ivy who chuckled in response. “So what’s it do Red? Is it a weapon?”</p><p>Ivy took a deep breath, “No, formula 535’s purpose is to make a person stronger, it gives the body active immunity to all venoms and poisons, aside from this it makes the body heal much quicker and allows for a quicker production of muscle mass and slows the oxidation of cells which in turn makes life span much longer and aging much slower… I… I made it for you.” Harley jumped out of the bathtub and landed squarely on Ivy’s lap, but before Ivy could complain about the droplets of dye already dripping onto the floor Harley grabbed her chin in her hands forcing her to look into Harley’s eyes.</p><p>“Are ya tellin’ me that you spent months workin’ day an’ night in your lab conoctin’ this just so I could live a longer healthier life?” Ivy hesitated.</p><p>“Sort of… I-“ Ivy was cut off as Harley wrapped her arms around her in a tight hug. Harley started to shake against Ivy and for a moment Ivy thought she was laughing until she felt a teardrop hit her shoulder.</p><p>Ivy had known that the other woman might be upset at Ivy’s actions. After all, Ivy had concocted the formula because she feared for the other woman’s well-being. Ivy knew that this might have come off as a slight against Harley’s relationship with Jack, or an insult to Harley’s strength. As such Ivy had prepared herself for this moment, for the moment she presented the formula to Harley, she had prepared herself for Harley’s wrath and anger. She was unprepared for the sadness she instead encountered.</p><p>“I’m sorry Harley, I didn’t mean to suggest-“Harley scoffed, wiping her eyes haphazardly with the back of her hand before looking at Ivy.</p><p>“Why the hell are ya sorry Red? This is honest ta god the most amazin’ thing anyone has ever done fer me.”</p><p>Ivy wrinkled her eyebrows in confusion, “I don’t understand… if you’re not upset then why are you crying?”</p><p>Harley laughed and leaned forward placing a soft kiss on Ivy’s forehead. “Ain’t ya ever heard of tears of joy? Why didja think I’d be mad at ya?” This was the crux of the matter and Ivy strummed her fingers nervously on the floor beside her as she spoke.</p><p>“I just- I didn’t want you to think that I believed you to be weak, because I don’t, not at all. I-I just wanted to protect you from…” Ivy trailed off and a look of realization crossed Harley’s face.</p><p>“From Joker.” Ivy’s stomach dropped at the suddenly cold look on Harley’s face. The other woman had never looked at her this way before and Ivy knew that she had messed up.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay so here's the deal, the next one? It's gonna be rough, but I promise there's a pay off coming soon, stick with me guys, I swear there's some sickeningly sweet fluff coming. </p><p>As always thank you for reading and stay well.</p><p>P.S. Anyone notice the title of the last chapter? And the title of this one? Eh? Hamlet to Lion King because I am both a scholar and a dork. And also Be Prepared is by far the best song on the Lion King soundtrack, I will fight you about that.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. In the House of Flies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger Warning: Graphic depiction of physical and psychological abuse. It happens right in the beginning of the chapter, so if you don't want to read it just scroll down to the double lines. </p><p>This is rough you guys, but I swear there's fluffy stuff coming up.</p><p>This chapter and the next one have song lyrics for titles, who wants to play guess the author's musical taste? Eh?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">In the House of Flies</span>
</p><p>
  <strong>||||||[Flashback]||||||</strong>
</p><p>Harley winced as she came to, her head murky with confusion. Mr. J had told her he had a surprise for her, and Harley had been overwhelmed with delight, it was after all their three year anniversary. Harley knew Mr. J wouldn’t forget, not like he did last year, or the year before that, she knew this year was special. She also mentioned it was coming up several times, put it on his calendar, put it on his phone, asked some of the goons to remind him about it and gave him an ‘anniversary eve’ present the day before. So when Mr. J had told her about the surprise and blindfolded her, Harley’s mind raced thinking of all the wonderful things he might have done for her. Would it be a gift? Or a romantic date? Could he, possibly after all these years, been planning a proposal? Harley was delighted to find out.</p><p>The problem was that Harley had fallen asleep, or more likely if the pain in her head was any indication, had been knocked out. Harley tried to take stock of the situation, she was no longer blindfolded but the room she was in was so dark that she couldn’t make anything out. She tried to shift to look around and that’s when she realized her second problem: she was shackled to the wall. Harley started to panic, something had happened, something awful, Mr. J was probably in danger somewhere and she was trapped here with no way to help him.</p><p>Harley tried to think, who could it be? Who would have chained her up like this and taken her poor Puddin’ away? It didn’t seem like something Batman would do, and to be honest the Joker had betrayed so many alliances in the pass that it could have been any number of Gotham villains. Harley tried to think of who his most recent slight was when she heard a familiar voice echoing in the darkness.</p><p>“Oh good, you’re up, wouldn’t want you to miss more of our anniversary celebration.” Harley felt relief flood her body at the sound of Mr. J’s voice, he was safe.  </p><p>“Oh thank goodness Puddin’ I was worried about ya.” Mr. J let out a long menacing laugh at that before responding.</p><p>“Did you hear that ladies? <strong>She</strong> was worried about <strong>me</strong>. I told you she was two screws short of a hardware store.” Mr. J laughed at his own joke and Harley tried to figure out what was going on. Who else was here with them? What ladies was Mr. J talking to?</p><p>“Laugh Harley, or don’t you think I’m funny anymore?” Harley gasped when suddenly Mr. J’s face was mere inches in front of hers, his eyes wild with glee.</p><p>“Of course I think you’re funny Puddin’ you’re the funniest man in the world. I’m just a lil confused is all.”</p><p>“Confused?” Mr. J paused seeming to consider this for a moment before turning his head to the side. “What do you say ladies, shall I illuminate Miss Quinn?” Mr. J stepped back quickly and before Harley could respond a torch lit up the room.</p><p>Harley squinted at the sudden flood of light and it took several moments for her eyes to adjust. When they did Harley wished for darkness again. Surrounding her were bodies, all either unconscious or dead, Harley couldn’t tell. All of the bodies were dressed in the same jester outfit that Harley wore on heists. Harley recoiled at the sight and Mr. J tsked at her.</p><p>“What’s the matter Puddin’, don’t you like your present?” Harley didn’t say anything, couldn’t say anything. “Don’t you like seeing all the girls who came before you? Girls who demanded too much time and attention? Girls who had to be disposed of because they got in the way of my very important work with their silly notions of romance?” Harley couldn’t stop the tears that ran down her face and try as she might she couldn’t prevent the sob from leaving her lips.</p><p>“Aww, so sensitive, so pitiful. Do you know why I showed you this Harley?” Harley shook her head, tears still streaming from her eyes. “It’s because I love you Puddin’, I don’t want you to end up like these girls.” Harley stayed silent and Mr. J glared at her.</p><p>“Say thank you Harley.”</p><p>Harley pushed the trembling words from her lips, “Thank you Puddin’.” Mr. J took her face in his hands and placed a rough bruising kiss on her lips before leaning in to whisper in her ear.</p><p>“I want you to remember something Harley, I’m a very important man and you are very replaceable. The only thing that separates you from these other women is the fact that I pity you. You’re too pathetic to kill, no one will ever love your miserable worthless face the way I do.” Sobs racked Harley’s body and Mr. J’s wild laughter echoed through the room as he walked away leaving Harley in darkness and shame.</p><p>The next day Mr. J told Harley it was all an elaborate joke, what better gift to get from the clown prince of Gotham than your own personal gag? When Harley had made the mistake of telling him that she didn’t find it funny Mr. J broke two of her ribs and threw her into the hyena pit. Harley never tried to remind Mr. J of their anniversary ever again.</p><p>
  <strong>||||||[End Flashback]||||||</strong>
</p><hr/>
<hr/><p>*Beep**Beep**Beep**Beep*</p><p>Harley jolted from her trance at the sound of the alarm going off, she didn’t know how long she’d been sitting there silently but Ivy looked up at her with worry in her eyes. Harley simply got up from Ivy’s lap and bent her head over the side of the bathtub, reaching up behind her to turn on the water, she watched as the blue and pink rained down from her hair, twirling together in a mess of purple before flowing down the drain. When the water finally ran clear she turned off the faucet and neatly wrapped her hair in a towel before walking out of the bathroom.</p><p>Ivy followed close behind, “Harley I-“Harley spun on her heel glaring at the other woman.</p><p>“What Ivy?! What?!” Ivy flinched back as if physically struck by the words and Harley wanted to stop, she really did but the look of pity in Ivy’s eyes was too much for her to handle. Over the last few months the two had gotten closer and Harley truly thought she’d found someone who thought of her as an equal, as a partner instead of some sidekick. Ivy had never treated her poorly, had never called her ideas stupid or reckless, and she had never made Harley feel like she was less than. And when Ivy had revealed just a few short moments ago that she was attracted to Harley, Harley’s mind reeled with the possibilities, could there possibly be a future for Harley and Ivy, one where they weren’t just friends?</p><p>No. Now Harley realized that she’d been wrong, Ivy didn’t think of her as an equal. Ivy felt bad for her, looked at her as a pitiful soul that needed saving. All of this, all these months, all the shared meals and compliments, all the heists and capers, all of the meaningful touches and embraces, all of the whispered conversations and roaring laughter, all of it was because Ivy pitied her. Ivy could have literally stabbed Harley in the back and Harley didn’t think she’d be more hurt than she was right now.</p><p>“What are ya gonna say Ivy? That ya didn’t mean it? That ya don’t think I’m some weak defenseless little girl who needs savin’? That ya don’t pity me?” With each question Harley’s voice got louder and she took a step closer to Ivy. Ivy backed away and was now stuck between Harley and the wall behind her.</p><p>“Harley, that’s not-“ Harley cut her off with a sneer.</p><p>“It ain’t what Ivy? It ain’t true?” Ivy nodded. “Then why’d ya give it to me today? Why’d ya wait until after we saw that Joker was back in town? Was it cause ya didn’t believe me when I told ya I was done with him? Was it cause ya thought I was too weak to stay away? Was it cause ya thought I would run off and I’d be too stupid or powerless to defend myself? I got news for ya Red, I been with Joker for seven long years, and I’m still here.”</p><p>“No, I-I…” Ivy sputtered clearly agitated and desperate to find the right words to say. Had this been any other time, any other conversation, Harley would have held her hand, smoothed a gentle thumb over it in calming circles and waited patiently for the other woman to gather her thoughts. But in this moment Harley was all rage, her hurt and her anger spilled off of her in waves.</p><p>“Ya know what I think Red? I think outta the two of us I ain’t the pitiful one. Ya ever thought that the reason I’m here is ‘cause I feel bad for ya? You and your sad lonely life? Surrounded by plants, not a friend in the world, why do ya think that is Ivy?” As soon as the words hit the air Harley regretted them. She didn’t mean them, of course she didn’t, but she was so hurt and angry that the words flew out of her mouth before she could stop them. Harley backed up expecting Ivy to lash out, to get angry, to yell back, but Ivy did none of those things, she simply nodded sadly to herself before walking away.</p><p>Harley still trembling with emotion watched Ivy’s retreating form and she wanted to call out to her, to apologize, to take everything back, hold her and tell her she didn’t mean any of it, but Harley had no fight left in her. She sunk down to the floor pulling her knees up to her chest and burying her face in her hands as she cried.</p><hr/><p>Harley knocked on the door but after several seconds of silence it was clear that Ivy had no intention of opening the door. It had been several hours since the incident and Harley had thought a lot about it, about why she felt the way she did, about why she lashed out like she had, about how much hurt she must have caused Ivy and how she could possibly ask for forgiveness when she knew she didn’t deserve it. Maybe Ivy did pity her, and Harley hated that, but was it really that bad? At least Ivy wasn’t mean about it, at least her pity made her care for Harley, at least her pity never hurt Harley, not physically anyway.</p><p>“Ivy, I’m sorry. I know ya hate me, an’ I know I don’t deserve it, but could ya please just talk to me for a minute?” After a few more seconds of silence Harley heard the lock on Ivy’s door click open and saw the door come slightly ajar. It wasn’t exactly a warm welcome but Harley would take what she could get. When Harley walked in the room she found Ivy sitting on her bed, jaw set and face free of emotion. Ivy would have looked the absolute picture of indifference if it weren’t for the red rings around her eyes.</p><p>Harley stood awkwardly in the center of the room, staring at the floor, not daring to sit next to Ivy. “Earlier I-I said some things, some real rotten things, things I didn’t mean. When I’m angry or upset words they just fly outta my mouth, I can’t control ‘em, I just lash out an’ an’ I know that ain’t no excuse. I shouldnta talked to you that way, ya didn’t deserve that. I was just hurt, but Pammy ya gotta know I didn’t mean any of it. You’re my best friend in the whole world an’ I love you. I love you so much, an’ it breaks my heart that I mighta did somethin’ to hurt ya. No, that I did do somethin’ to hurt ya. I’m so sorry Pammy, I’ll never stop bein’ sorry. I don’t want ya to forgive me, ‘cause I don’t deserve it, but if you could find it in your heart to just, just let me make it up to ya, I’d really appreciate it.”</p><p>Harley chanced a look up at Ivy, but Ivy hadn’t moved from her spot, hadn’t changed her expression and for a minute Harley thought she simply wouldn’t say anything.</p><p>“Okay, is that all?” The icy tone of Ivy’s voice caught Harley off guard, Ivy had never spoken to her that way before.</p><p>“I-yeah, I guess.” Ivy nodded at that, stood from her bed and walked out of the room without another word. Harley, for the second time that day cried until she couldn’t anymore.</p><hr/><p>Harley woke up the next day curled on top of Ivy’s bed, she’d stayed in the room the night before hoping that Ivy would return and she could apologize again. Ivy either never came back to the room or saw Harley there and slept somewhere else. Harley cringed at the thought, she’d not only said horrible malicious things to Ivy but she forced her out of her own room. Harley was aware that the former was much worse than the latter but insult and injury and all that. Harley made her way out of the room and after cleaning herself up and spending several moments staring at herself in the mirror to steel herself for what was to come Harley finally went downstairs.</p><p>What she found was oddly normal, coffee was made, breakfast was cooked and Ivy was sitting at the dining room table reading the newspaper. Harley served herself and sat across from Ivy, the crossword puzzle folded neatly in front of her spot. Harley was puzzled, was this Ivy’s way of saying she didn’t hate Harley? Ivy had not looked up from her paper or acknowledged Harley’s presence in any way, so Harley doubted it. Maybe Ivy just wanted things to go back to normal? Harley supposed if that’s what Ivy wanted then the least she could do was go along with it. After a couple of minutes working on her crossword puzzle, Harley bit her lip and chanced it.</p><p>“Five letter word for squalid, ends in a Y.” Harley looked at Ivy, trying to gauge her reaction but Ivy didn’t even look up from the paper as she spoke.</p><p>“There’s a dictionary on the bookshelf behind you.” Ivy’s tone was flat and Harley deflated.</p><p>By the time the afternoon rolled around Harley was beside herself. Ivy had been in her lab all day, which was not unusual for the other woman, except that she didn’t bother to look at Harley when she walked into the house. She didn’t speak to Harley unless asked a direct question and her response was curt and to the point. There was no anger in her voice, but no warmth either and her stoic expression made Harley’s insides twist.</p><p>Harley had never realized before just how much she loved Ivy’s expressiveness. Ivy was by no means the bundle of energy that Harley was, she didn’t whoop or cheer when she was excited, she didn’t throw things when she was frustrated, she didn’t whisper ‘what the fuck’ to herself over and over again when she was confused, she didn’t wail and curl herself into a ball when she was sad, she did none of the things that Harley did to express emotion, and yet it was always clear to Harley just what Ivy was feeling.</p><p>Ivy had always been a bit harder to read, but Harley had gotten to know what a twitch of her eyebrow meant, or what the subtle quirk of her lips meant, she knew what the flaring of her nostrils meant, the flutter of her fingertips, the furrow of her eyebrows. Harley knew how to read Ivy, but it had never occurred to Harley that she could interpret Ivy’s expressions because Ivy wanted her to. This cold anger that stilled Ivy’s features, that flattened Ivy’s tone, it was new to Harley and Harley had no idea what to do in response.</p><p>Harley wanted more than anything to get her Ivy back, the one that blushed at Harley’s teasing, that rolled her eyes when Harley made a bad joke, that groaned when Harley pouted at her (just before shaking her head at herself and giving in), that smiled openly and genuinely whenever Harley cooked something especially good for dinner, that tapped and twisted her fingers nervously whenever she spoke about something she felt uneasy with, that held Harley tightly when she cried, that breathed compliments in her ear as Harley clutched to her, the Ivy that Harley had fallen in love with.</p><p>It was strange to think that in a few short months Harley had lost her heart to Ivy, that Ivy had won it without even realizing she was playing for it. It was true though, Harley loved Ivy, she could admit that to herself, just like she could admit that it was the reason Ivy’s pity had hurt her so much. Harley hated that she had done it again, that she had fallen for someone who didn’t return her feelings, that the one she loved pitied her in return. But more than that she hated that she’d hurt the one she loved. Ivy was always so kind to Harley and the moment Harley had felt hurt she snapped. Harley knew there was more to it than that, of course she knew, she was a trained psychologist, but even with that knowledge, Harley knew that nothing would ease her mind or her heart until Ivy smiled at her again.  </p><p>Harley spent the day cleaning the entire house, baking all of Ivy’s favorite sweets and doing anything she could think of to make the other woman happy. Nothing garnered any reaction from Ivy. When Harley went into the lab to tell Ivy that dinner was ready, Ivy simply nodded at her and went back to working. Harley sat at the table for a long time before she accepted that Ivy wasn’t going to join her. Harley took her plate to the living room and ate in front of the television, silent tears running down her cheeks. If Ivy never forgave her, Harley didn’t think anything would ever be okay again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Trigger Warning: Essentially Harley has a flashback to Joker inflicting extreme psychological abuse on her for wanting to celebrate their anniversary. In the end Joker tells her the only reason he keeps her around is because he pities her. </p><p>If you think that flashback sounds familiar it's because it's based on something(s) Joker actually did to Harley: <a>https://screenrant.com/worst-most-wtf-things-the-joker-did-to-harley-quinn/</a></p><p>#15 &amp; #6</p><p>As always thank you for reading and stay well.</p><p>P.S. Remember that anniversary gift that Harley mentioned in chapter 12? ... yeah</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Burning Like Embers, Falling, Tender</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger Warning: Mentions of past abuse and trauma. I personally don't think it's that bad, it's not as bad as the flashback scenes, bc it happens through dialogue? I don't know why but I feel like that extra layer of distance helps lessen the intensity. Still if you don't want to read it skip the sections in the double lines, and you should probably check the end notes before finishing up the chapter just so you're not lost.</p><p>Other note: [SPOILER] </p><p>[KIND OF]</p><p>[DON'T READ THIS IF YOU WANT TO BE SURPRISED]</p><p>[BUT MAYBE READ THIS IF YOU HAVE AN AVERSION TO READING CERTAIN THINGS]</p><p>This chapter is definitely rated M, if that's not your thing, you know just stop reading when it gets heavy, I feel like it's pretty clear when that stuff is coming up, I will tell you though, the next two chapters have an E rating for sure, so yeah if that really bothers any of you please please please let me know in the comments so I can try and section it off as best as I can. </p><p> </p><p>As always thank you all for reading, and stay well.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">Burning Like Embers, Falling, Tender</span>
</p><p><strong><em>You should talk to her.</em></strong> Ivy ignored the plant as she looked over her notes. <strong><em>Ivy I know she said some fucked up things but you knew she was going to be upset when you gave her the formula.</em></strong></p><p>Ivy chuckled wryly at that, “I suppose my hypothesis was correct then.” <strong><em>Ivy I know you care about her-</em></strong> “You don’t know shit Frank.”</p><p>Ivy got up from her workstation and walked outside needing to get away from Frank. Of course she cared about Harley. She cared about Harley more than she could remember caring about anyone. She loved Harley, like a friend, like a confidant and she knew that given the right amount of time she’d love her in an entirely different way, in a non-platonic way, in a please-let-me-hold-your-hand-kiss-your-lips-and-do-stupid-cute-couple-shit-with-you way. Those feelings were already there, starting like a bud deep inside of Ivy’s stomach, it was painful to admit, but it was true. She’d known that Harley couldn’t or wouldn’t return her feelings, she’d resigned herself to that pain, shoved it into a neat box in the back of her mind. But this Harley, this Harley who would lash out at her, who would hurl hurtful words in her face, who would back her against a wall and yell at her, this Harley was a type of pain she was wholly unprepared for.</p><p>Ivy had almost made it to her car when Frank appeared beside her again. <strong><em>Running away isn’t going to fix anything.</em></strong> “Maybe I don’t fucking want to fix anything.”</p><p><strong><em>Come on Ivy, we both know that’s not true.</em></strong> “Once again, you don’t know shit Frank.”</p><p><strong><em>I know that you spend less time in your lab than you used to, I know that you smile more since she’s come here, I know that you watch reality TV shows and listen to EDM just because she likes it, I know that you look at her like she’s-</em></strong>“Enough!”</p><p>It was too much, she needed him to stop. She needed to get away. “Just leave me be Frank.” She didn’t know if it was the tone of her voice or the fact that she was barely holding back tears but Frank relented. The vines started retreating and Ivy held a hand up grabbing Frank before he could go.</p><p>“Can you please check on her?” <strong><em>Sure, Ivy. </em></strong>Ivy nodded and got into her car without another word.</p><p>Ivy drove in silence for a while, trying to collect her thoughts, trying to tamp down her emotions. Harley pitied her, she’d apologized, said it was untrue but Ivy couldn’t push the doubt away. It made sense, Ivy was lonely. Ivy didn’t have any friends, why wouldn’t Harley pity her? Smart, funny, charming Harley, of course she pitied Ivy, but did that matter? Did it make Ivy want to hurt Harley? Did it make Ivy love her any less? Did it make Ivy regret making the formula for her? Did it make Ivy regret opening her home and her heart to Harley?</p><p>As much as Ivy hated herself for it, hated her weakness, she knew that the answer to all of these questions was a resounding no. “Fucking shit.” Ivy sighed and turned the car around, maybe she was just a glutton for punishment.</p><hr/>
<hr/><p>Ivy found Harley sitting in the living room, arms wrapped around Frank, and sniffling soft muffled words against him. The sound of the door opening hadn’t alerted Harley to her presence, or maybe it had and Harley just didn’t want to look at her. Ivy wouldn’t allow herself to contemplate that further. Instead she went to the kitchen grabbed two glasses and sat down next to Harley on the sofa. The shifting of the cushion beside Harley made her look up and the tears on her cheeks made Ivy ache. No matter what had happened, Ivy hated seeing Harley hurt, she didn’t think that would ever change.</p><p>Harley said nothing as Ivy set the two glasses and a bottle of Jack Daniels down on the coffee table in front of them. Ivy opened the bottle poured herself a shot and drank it quickly before wincing at the burn. Why did Harley like this stuff?</p><p>“I need to tell to you about something, but it’s something that’s really difficult for me to talk about. So I’m going to drink a little first, to take the edge off, would you like to join me?”</p><p>Harley didn’t say anything in response, she simply reached over poured out two shots and handed one to Ivy. They tapped their glasses together and threw the shot back. Ivy could already feel the buzz starting to ease through her. Ivy cleared her throat and watched as Frank retreated from the house, giving the two of them privacy.</p><p>“You were right when you said that I thought you would go back to him, but it’s not because I think you’re weak or stupid. It’s because I know what it’s like to want so desperately for someone to care about you, someone who’s abused you, someone who’s broken you so badly that you don’t think you’ll ever be whole again, someone who’s supposed to love you but for some reason can’t. I know what it’s like to hate yourself for it, but still stay, because you think it’s your fault, because you’ve convinced yourself that you deserve it.”</p><p>Ivy took a shaky breath and turned to face forward on the sofa, not being able to look at Harley as she spoke the next words.</p><p>“My father used to hit my mother, a lot. Sometimes because she forgot to refill his favorite scotch, sometimes because she didn’t look at him the right way, or she didn’t appreciate him enough or because he was just drunk. He didn’t hit me, he never hit me, maybe it was because I was a quiet child and I kept to myself, maybe it was because he was scared they’d notice the bruises at school. I don’t know what his reasoning was, but one day, when I was eleven years old, that changed.”</p><p>Memories flashed through Ivy’s mind and she reached out a trembling hand to pour herself another drink, Harley intercepted her hand and poured the drinks for her handing one cup to Ivy. Ivy nodded in thanks before drinking the amber liquid in one go.</p><p>Ivy grimaced, “Fucking hell! Why do you like this stuff? I need a fucking mixer.” Harley laughed lightly as Ivy got up and walked to the kitchen. She grabbed a bottle out of the fridge and came back to the sofa pouring some of the liquid in her glass before mixing in some of the whiskey. She gestured towards Harley’s glass and Harley nodded. After Ivy finished mixing the drinks she handed one to Harley and they touched glasses before taking a sip.</p><p>Ivy turned forward again, tapping her fingers anxiously against her glass as she spoke. “When I was eleven years old I caught my father with his hand up the maid’s skirt. I tried to run away, I tried to convince him that I hadn’t seen anything, I begged him, but nothing I did stopped him from hitting me. Once he started, he just kept going and I must have yelled, or cried too loudly because all of a sudden he wasn’t sitting on my legs anymore. He was lying next to me clutching his head, my mother tried to pick me up but he was too quick, he grabbed her and punched her harder than I’d ever seen him hit her.”</p><p>Ivy paused trying to bite back tears at the memory and failing. Ivy felt Harley’s hand squeeze her knee gently and Ivy put her hand on top of Harley’s holding onto it like a lifeline. She drained half of the drink in her cup in one gulp before clearing her throat again.</p><p>“My mother stumbled back from the blow… she was too close to the stairs, too far from me, before I could reach out she fell with a sickening thud that I’ll never forget the sound of. When I reached the bottom of the stairs, she was already gone. I lay next to her for a long time, looking into her eyes, trying to pretend that she was just lying down and day dreaming, but I knew.” Ivy couldn’t hold back the tears any longer and they rushed down her face like a dam had broken, but she couldn’t stop, she needed to get this out.</p><p>“The bastard didn’t spend a single night in prison, wealth and connections are powerful things. So I retreated into myself, worked in the garden more, and stayed away from him as much as possible. When I went away to university, I thought that part of my life was finally behind me. Then I met Jason, he was smart, and he was charming and I fell into his trap just the way my mother had fallen into my father’s.  I made up excuses. I told myself it was for the sake of the research, that I needed him that he needed me and in the end I died just the way my mother had, at the hands of a man who never truly loved me.”</p><p>Ivy drained the rest of the drink from her glass before setting it down on the table and wiping the residual tears from her eyes. Ivy turned to finally face Harley, she watched as tears tracked down the other woman’s face for a moment before lacing their fingers together and speaking again.</p><p>“So you see Harley, I never thought you were weak, or stupid, I never pitied you. I just wanted so desperately to protect you because you’re not like me, or my plants. When we die the earth takes us in and a season later brings us back. When you die… you’ll just be… gone, forever… like her.” Ivy tried to take a steadying breath, tried to hold it back but a new wave of tears crested and crashed down on her so heavily that her head fell to the crook of her arm.</p><p>Ivy felt Harley’s hand stroking soothingly down her back and they sat like that for several silent minutes before Harley spoke.</p><p>“I appreciate ya talkin’ to me about that. I don’t think with the way I acted yesterday that I deserved your explanation. But thank you for givin’ it to me anyway. I’m awful sorry for the way I spoke to ya, there are no words to express how deeply sorry I am.”</p><p>Ivy didn’t look up from her arm as she spoke, “Why?”</p><p>Ivy heard Harley take a deep breath before answering. “There’s no excuse for what I said to ya, but when I heard your words an’ I looked at the worry in your eyes that I thought was pity. I just flashed back to all the times that Joker told me how pathetic I was, how weak, how stupid, how no one would ever love me, how the only reason he kept me around was because he pitied me, how the only reason he didn’t kill me was because he felt bad for me. It all rushed back to me and I was angry at him, ashamed of myself an’ I took it out on you. I’m sorry Ivy, I truly am.”</p><p>Ivy pulled her head from her arm and looked at Harley, “It’s okay.”</p><p>Harley stroked a gentle hand down Ivy’s cheek and shook her head. “No sweetie, it’s not. Nobody should ever talk to ya that way, not even me, ‘specially not me.”</p><p>Ivy nodded, casting her eyes downward before speaking again. “Did… did you mean it?” Her voice was barely a whisper and if Harley hadn’t immediately pulled her into a tight hug she might have thought the other woman hadn’t heard it.</p><p>“God no sweetie, I swear I didn’t mean it. Not a single word. Pity is probably the exact opposite of how I feel about ya Ive. You’re so brave, so smart, so strong, an’ after everything that’s happened in your life you ain’t never compromised your principles. I admire ya Pammy, I admired ya before I even met ya, an’ now that I know ya? I admire ya even more. I honestly hope that one day I can look back on all the shit I been through and be as put together as you are. You’re fuckin’ amazin’ Pamela Isley, an’ I’m so grateful that I know ya.”</p><p>Harley moved to pull away from Ivy and Ivy clutched her tighter. “Please, just…”</p><p>“Okay baby, I got ya.” Harley hugged Ivy more tightly and feeling the other woman pressed against her settled something in Ivy’s chest. Ivy thought over Harley’s words, her compliments, and while Ivy didn’t believe them about herself she knew Harley meant them. Ivy took a shuddering breath, they would be okay.</p><p>“Harley?”</p><p>“Yes sweetheart?”</p><p>“Can we please drink some more?” Ivy felt Harley shake with laughter and she smiled to herself.</p><p>“Yeah Red, we can get absolutely trashed if ya want.” It was Ivy’s turn to laugh, she pulled away to wipe tears from her eyes and as she watched Harley do the same she laughed again.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“It’s just… I feel like we both probably look like raccoons right now, your mascara is all over your face and I know mine probably isn’t any better.”</p><p>“Yeah, you’re definitely right about that Red, waterproof my ass.” Ivy laughed again before standing up from the sofa and holding her hand out for Harley to take.</p><p>“Let’s go wash up then we can come down here and get wasted.” Harley took Ivy’s hand and allowed herself to be pulled to her feet.</p><p>“Can we change into our PJ’s and snuggle while we drink?” Ivy smiled.</p><p>“Of course we can peanut.” Harley clapped excitedly and ran up the stairs leaving Ivy to shake her head and calmly walk up after the other woman.</p><hr/>
<hr/><p>“So ya take a shotta whiskey then immediately afterwards ya take a shotta pickle juice.” Ivy looked at the other woman suspiciously.</p><p>“It feels like you’re messing with me right now, people actually do this?”</p><p>“Yeah! Lotsa people, I swear I ain’t messin’ with ya. Scout’s honor an’ plus I’ll do it with ya.” With that Harley walked over to the kitchen, presumably looking for shot glasses and pickle juice. Ivy was still not convinced.</p><p>“And this will make the whiskey taste better?” Ivy heard the refrigerator door closing before Harley called back an answer.</p><p>“Well kinda, it helps with the burn an’ since ya take the pickle shot immediately afterwards all ya taste is pickle juice, an’ if ya like pickles, it’s all good. Do we wanna use the spicy pickles or the garlic pickles?”</p><p>“Garlic, they taste better. How on earth did someone come up with this idea anyway?”</p><p>When Harley answered it was clear she was chewing on something, ”I dunno, drunk people do weird shit sometimes ‘cept this time their weird shit was a real good idea… I can’t find your shot glasses.” Ivy got up and walked into the kitchen.</p><p>“I’ll get them they’re on the top shelf, so what you’re telling me is that bars now have bottles of pickle juice on hand just so that people could do this?” Ivy opened the cupboard and handed the shot glasses one by one down to Harley who rinsed them out. “Also where did you get that cookie from?” Harley gestured behind her and Ivy noticed a whole tray of baked goods behind her.</p><p>“I made a whole buncha stuff earlier, was kinda hopin’ the smell would lure ya in here. And yeah bars keep loads of pickle juice stocked just for this purpose.” Ivy popped a cookie in her mouth, and grabbed another one before picking up the shot glasses and following Harley back to the sofa. She put the shot glasses down and ate her cookies as Harley set up the shots. She hadn’t eaten since this afternoon and she was hungry and buzzed, which meant that she would probably eat half of the things on that tray by the end of the night.</p><p>“But what about pickle breath? I mean aren’t bars where the kids go to hook up?” Harley laughed.</p><p>“The kids?! What’re ya a hundred?” Ivy rolled her eyes at that.</p><p>“You know what I mean.” Harley shrugged.</p><p>“I dunno, there’s gum, an’ if you’re both doin’ ‘em ya can’t really complain about the other person’s breath. Plus they’re good for ya.” Ivy gave Harley a disbelieving look.</p><p>“How could they possibly be good for you?”</p><p>“’Cause the acetic acid in the vinegar is an antidiuretic that contains electrolytes an’ absorbs salt.” Harley said nonchalantly. Ivy was stunned and Harley started laughing. “Ah shit Red you should see your face! I googled it while I was in the kitchen, an’ the look on your face is totally worth it.” Ivy laughed.</p><p>“Well, my ridiculous looking face aside, the science is solid, so let’s give it a try.” Harley rolled her eyes.</p><p>“Honestly, I shoulda just led with that, ya woulda agreed right away.” Ivy nodded in agreement.</p><p>“I probably would have to be honest.” Harley chuckled and handed Ivy her shots.</p><p>“To science and to my incredibly dorky and wonderful best friend!” Ivy laughed and tapped her glass to Harley’s before taking the shots in rapid succession of one another. Harley raised an eyebrow in question a smug smile on her face.</p><p>“Okay, you were right, it was much better.”</p><p>“Told ya! Now are you gonna stop questionin’ my alcoholic expertise?” Ivy sighed but nodded.</p><p>“Yes, I will stop questioning your expertise, you are the definitive source on alcohol related information from here on out.” Harley did a little victory dance at that and Ivy rolled her eyes. “You’re a smug little shit you know that?” Harley smiled brightly at Ivy.</p><p>“Yep! An’ ya love me for it!”</p><p>“I really do. Now, I’m going to heat up some food because I’m starving and if I don’t I will completely demolish that tray of cookies, you want to pour us another drink?” Harley nodded and when Ivy came back to the living room there was another shot lined up for her and, Harley had started playing some music softly in the background.</p><p>“I like this, what is this?” Harley chuckled.</p><p>“Of course ya do, it’s my hipster playlist.” Ivy raised her eyebrow in question.</p><p>“What’s a hipster? Is it a bad thing? Am I a hipster?” Harley turned her head side to side considering this for a moment before answering.</p><p>“Kinda? Not exactly, ya’ don’t have the right look for it. Though ya would look hot in some hipster style clothes. Hm… yeah we should definitely get ya some new outfits… that’d be real nice.” Harley was biting her lip and regarding Ivy closely as she said this and Ivy felt her blush rush up from her neck.</p><p>“Right… well… okay…. Let’s drink.” Ivy picked up Harley’s shots and handed them to her. Harley laughed but took the offered glasses anyway. They tapped glasses and took the shots, Ivy felt her head start to swim a little and knew that she definitely needed to slow down. Ivy turned to her plate of food and started eating again. They sat in comfortable silence for several minutes before Harley spoke again.</p><p>“Ives?”</p><p>Ivy looked up from her plate of food, shooting a questioning glance at Harley.</p><p>“I don’t wanna ruin the good mood we got goin’ but I just I need ya to know somethin’.” Ivy nodded swallowing her bite of food before putting down her plate and fork and wiping her mouth.</p><p>“Okay, I’m listening.”</p><p>“I’ll take that formula if ya want me to, an’ to be honest I wanna take it cause it sounds cool as hell, but Ives I swear I ain’t goin’ nowhere. I’m done with him, for real this time.” Ivy regarded Harley for a moment, taking in her sincere expression, she believed her. She believed that Harley didn’t want to go back, but she knew that sometimes not wanting to go back to an abusive situation wasn’t enough.</p><p>“How do you know?” Harley nodded, as if she had expected this question or one like it.</p><p>“A coupla reasons, I think for a while now, probably a coupla years now, I realized that the situation, it wasn’t right. I think I stopped lovin’ him a long time ago, dunno exactly when it happened, it probably didn’t happen all at once, but at some point I knew in my heart that I was fakin’ it, but I lied about it, to myself, to him, to everybody. I was scared and stubborn, I didn’t want to admit that I gave up everything for nothin’, yunno? I think more than that, I was just real scared to be alone, scared that that was the best that I was ever gonna get. An’ I kinda felt like that was the best I deserved… still do sometimes… most times.”</p><p>“That’s not true Harley, you deserve everything you could ever want in the world and more. You deserve someone who would treat you like… like… I don’t know like the fucking stunning, charming, badass lady villain who don’t take no crap from nobody that you are.” Harley laughed wholeheartedly at that and Ivy smiled at her, glad to have made the other woman happy.</p><p>“I really appreciate ya sayin’ that, an’ I’m tryin’ real hard to remind myself that that’s true, but…” Ivy nodded in understanding.</p><p>“It’s a process.”</p><p>“Yeah an’ I’m committed to it, but it’s not gonna happen overnight.” Ivy thought about her own process, it was ongoing, not complete, might not ever be complete, but it was manageable and she was sure Harley could make just as much progress if not more.</p><p>“I’m here for you no matter what Harley, and if you ever need me to remind you how magnificent you are I will happily do so.” Harley smiled and rolled her eyes, but Ivy could see the slight blush on her cheeks and it made Ivy smile in turn. Harley turned to the table gesturing to the glasses, Ivy wrinkled her nose considering her choices before answering.</p><p>“Can we do mixed? I think I’m done with shots for tonight.” Harley nodded and made the two a pair of cocktails before handing one to Ivy. Ivy raised her glass to Harley. “To my marvelous, magnanimous, mischievous, and um… mostly… uh... merciful best friend… sorry I was trying to stick with M’s but I couldn’t think of anything else.” Harley laughed and tapped her glass to Ivy’s before taking a sip and responding.  </p><p>“Thanks babe, that was awful sweet, even if it got kinda weird at the end.” Ivy nodded in agreeance, her brain was muddled from the alcohol and she was sure if she was sober she could have thought of another compliment that started with M. Ivy thought for a few moments more, but after several seconds she gave up.</p><p>“You said there were a couple of reasons, what’s the other reason?” Harley mulled it over for a minute before drinking most of her drink and responding.</p><p>“The other reason… is a lot more complicated. It’s… well it’s you Pammy.” Ivy shot her a confused look and Harley continued. “I don’t mean in like a ‘you cured me of my insecurity and trauma’ kinda way, ‘cause that’s bullshit, that’s not how that shit works.” Ivy took a sip from her glass and nodded. It was true, no one could magically heal you, it was as she said before a process, and a process that you had to undertake yourself, others could support you of course, but no one would be able to ‘fix’ you.</p><p>“I just mean, ya gave me what I needed, to help me get started, to help me want to get started. Ya never made me talk about anythin’ I didn’t wanna talk about, ya never made me feel bad or guilty or stupid for bein’ with him, ya gave me a safe place to stay, an’ ya gave me the space to be myself, ya encouraged it.” Harley finished off her drink in another large gulp before pouring herself two fingers of whiskey and continuing.</p><p>“An’ I got comfortable, I forgot about fakin’ an’ pretendin’ all the time, I forgot about walkin’ on eggshells all the time, I forgot about bein’ scared all the time, an’ I started to think about things I hadn’t really thought about in a long time. I even started readin’ those psychology books ya have, brushin’ up on stuff. I started openin’ up to you more, an’ really listenin’ to ya when ya told me I was safe here an’ that I deserved betta. I talked to Frank a lot too. He’s a real good listener, good guy to have a conversation with.” Ivy scoffed at that.</p><p>“That’s only because he likes you, he’s a real dick to me.” Harley laughed and slapped Ivy’s shoulder lightly.</p><p>“Oh ya know ya love him! I used to think of you as his mom, but now I think ya got a more brother sister feelin’ to ya, the way you are always fightin’ with each other. It’s cute.” Ivy was sure that they could stay friends until the end of time and she would still blush every time Harley called her cute. Ivy shook her head at herself taking another sip from her glass before gesturing for Harley to continue.</p><p>“Right, well I had alotta time to think about things, to break down things, really analyze shit ya know? An’ I realized that everything about bein’ here was just ten thousand times betta then bein’ with him. Ya welcomed me into your home, an’ I haven’t felt this calm, this happy, an’ this safe in a real long time. Ya make me feel safe Ivy, in a way that no one else has.” Ivy felt warmth blooming in her chest at the words, she’d made Harley feel safe, it felt like a blessing and an honor at the same time. Harley drained the whiskey from her glass before continuing.</p><p>“You’re different from most people I met, maybe everyone I met, and not just ‘cause you’re part plant. You always seem to be tryin’ real hard, to I don’t know, understand me, do the right thing around me? Maybe it’s cause ya got a scientific mind, always searchin’ for truth an’ all that, but I don’t really think that’s it.” Harley put down her empty glass and reached between them grabbing Ivy’s hand in her own. She turned Ivy’s hand palm up and rested it on her bare thigh as she traced the little lines over Ivy’s palm, almost in a trance before speaking again.</p><p>“It’s just you Ives, ya got somethin’ special in ya, somethin’ that cuts through people’s bullshit, somethin’ that actually cares about what people are, not how they present themselves, or how the world sees them, but what they really are. You’re always in your head ya know? Always thinkin’ about things, always searchin’ for somethin’.” Ivy nodded absentmindedly at that, watching Harley’s fingers trace patterns from her palm up her forearm as she spoke. The soft caresses feeling something like divination and ember.</p><p>“Ya pay attention to detail, little things that no one else bothers to see let alone think about. And you’re real sweet, ya pretend not to be but ya are.” Ivy opened her mouth to protest but snapped it shut when Harley leaned her head on her shoulder her breath tumbling down Ivy’s neck as she spoke.</p><p>“Like when my letters started smellin’ like lavender after I told you I liked the smell of it or how my favorite type of pop tarts an’ cereal just keep appearin’ in your cupboards. When vines of sweet peas popped up along the gate of the park, or how new issues of my favorite comic book keep comin’ week after week without me havin’ to buy ‘em. Or like how ya keep the coffee canister on a lower shelf cause ya know I can’t reach it otherwise. Whenever I’m in a bad mood there always seems to be a batch of those cookies that I love from the Jewish bakery all the way across town on the counter. You’re perfect Ive.” </p><p>Sometime during Harley’s monologue she had pushed up further against Ivy, her side radiating warmth. Ivy gulped down the last of her drink trying to calm her nerves, her head swimming with inebriation, her body humming with excitement bordering on trepidation.</p><p>“I.. .uh.. I didn’t realize you noticed all that…” Harley placed a soft kiss on the nape of Ivy’s neck, and Ivy was certain in that moment that Harley Quinn was a human conductor of electricity, there was simply no other explanation for the shock that ran through Ivy at that moment.</p><p>“I notice a lot of things about ya Ivy. Like how your skin always smells like fresh summer rain, or how ya flush a lovely shade of green whenever you’re embarrassed. How when you’re nervous your fingers are always twistin’ or tappin’ on somethin’, or how when you’re confused about somethin’ your head always tilts slightly to the left. How when ya talk about somethin’ ya like your face always lights up with the most adorable breathtakin’ smile, or how when ya wake up in the mornin’ and your voice is rough from disuse, it sounds somethin’ like smoke an’ honey. How when ya touch me ya always flutter just a lil bit before ya settle or how when ya look at me...” At that moment Harley lifted her head from Ivy’s shoulder and used a gentle hand to turn Ivy’s face towards hers.</p><p>Ivy could have told you a million things about that moment. Like how Harley’s eyes usually the shade of cornflower looked more like midnight in a moonless sky. Ivy could have told you that Harley’s enchanting pink lips seemed somehow to move in slow motion as she spoke. She could have told you how Harley’s fingers gently cradling her cheek felt like sunlight and catastrophe. She could have told you so many things about that moment, but she couldn’t tell you what Harley had said.</p><p>Harley looked at her for a moment, expectantly before her eyes cast downwards. Ivy struggled against the spirits that addled her mind trying desperately to find a way to respond. Harley nodded to herself dejectedly and sat back in her seat pulling away from Ivy. Ivy felt the loss like a breath that’d been violently sucked away and she shook herself. She turned quickly grabbing Harley’s hand before she could pull away completely, letting her glass fall to the floor, ignoring the way it shattered against the polished wood and looking desperately at Harley.</p><p>“Ive-“</p><p>“I got lost.” Harley looked confused at that.</p><p>“What-“</p><p>“I just- you were here, and you were close and you were saying all these nice things to me, and your eyes were- I got lost for a moment. I just- it was all a lot…” Ivy trailed off her eyebrows furrowing as she hopelessly grasped for words to say. Her brain feeling like a tenacious mire gripping at her thoughts, pulling them down with each second that passed. Then all at once they pushed outwards, overwhelming her.</p><p>“You make me feel so many things Harley and I don’t know what they mean, or what I’m supposed to do about them. Or what you want me to do, or anything and it’s frustrating, but then it’s not and it’s too much and too little all at the same time and none of it makes sense to me. And when you were saying all those nice things about me, and you were touching my face and looking at me the way you were… I just… I got lost. I feel like I missed something and I messed up and I made you sad and I didn’t mean to. I got lost Harley, I just got lost.”</p><p>Ivy’s words came out in a rush of increasing panic, she felt so desperate for the moment that passed, so disheartened by the look of resignation on Harley’s face. There was a moment, pivotal and full of possibilities she hadn’t dared hope for and she’d let it slip through her fingers. Harley rushed forward slipping onto Ivy’s lap and wrapping her arms around her in a tight embrace. Ivy held onto her as if she was the only thing tethering her to the ground.</p><p>“Sssh, sssh, it’s okay baby. You’re okay.” Harley stroked her hair as she spoke the gentle words into her scalp. Ivy buried her head into the swell of Harley’s chest, needing to feel the thumping of the other woman’s heart against her ear. “I’m here sweetheart. I got ya.” After a few moments and several staggering breaths Ivy found her voice.</p><p>“Harley?”</p><p>“Yeah babe?”</p><p>“I think I might have found myself intoxicated.” Harley shook with laughter at that before pulling back a bit. Ivy frowned at the newfound space between them, looking up at Harley with a pout. Harley laughed again.</p><p>“Ive?”</p><p>“Yes Harley?”</p><p>“I think I might find ya intoxicatin’.” Ivy found herself goofily smiling up at the blonde on her lap, knowing full well that she looked like an idiot, but not finding it in herself to care at that moment. Harley giggled at her expression and placed a quick chaste kiss on her lips before pulling back. “You’re cute.”</p><p>Ivy was unable to rip her gaze away from the soft pink lips just inches from her own for a long while. There was a weighted silence that passed between them as their breath mingled in the quiet expanse of the house. Ivy finally managed to tear her eyes from Harley’s lips only to be immediately trapped by her deep blue eyes.</p><p>“Harley?” Her voice was huskier than she’d intended it to be, but when Harley let out a small gasp in response Ivy lost all will to care.</p><p>“Yeah Baby?” Harley’s voice was a breathy whisper, her mouth coming millimeters closer as she spoke. The tiny distance between them was both marvelous and maddening.</p><p>“I think I’d like to kiss you again, if that’s o-“Her words were cut off by the crashing of Harley’s lips against her own. There was nothing chaste about this kiss; this kiss was soft lips and sharp teeth. This kiss was tongue and salvation. This kiss was all fervor and lipstick. This kiss was wrath and whiskey. This kiss was too much and not enough and when Harley ground her hips down against Ivy, Ivy felt heaven fluttering around her stomach and hell pounding in her chest. A low sweet moan flew from Harley’s lips when Ivy pushed her hands down, pressing Harley harder against her.</p><p>“Fuck Ivy.” Harley disappeared from her lap in an instant and Ivy blinked in surprise at the sudden loss but before she could question, protest or apologize, Harley leaned down whispering in her ear. “Take me to bed baby.” Ivy shot up from the sofa, scooping Harley up in her arms and carrying her quickly to her room as the smaller girl squeaked in delighted surprise. Ivy knelt on the bed, gently placing Harley down. Harley reached a delicate hand up and brushed a strand of Ivy’s hair to the side almost reverently. “You’re gorgeous Ive.” Ivy turned her head to the side, capturing Harley’s hand in her own before placing a gentle kiss on her palm. She lowered Harley’s hand to her chest, pressing it tightly against her.</p><p>“You’re everything Harley.” This time when their lips met it was soft and sensuous, and it filled Ivy with a feeling she’d long forgotten. Their lips pressed gently against each other, softly interlocking and caressing in a way that bound them to this moment. It was so pure that Ivy almost forgot for a moment that she was there in her bed with a gorgeous woman below her as wanton with desire as she was.</p><p> She was soon reminded when Harley wrapped her legs around her waist and spun them so Ivy was suddenly below her, cocooned in blonde hair. Harley moved her lips to Ivy’s neck and kissed and sucked and bit greedily there until Ivy was pushing desperate sounds into the air. Harley’s legs shifted until her strong thigh came up to press against Ivy’s center and a moan so carnal spilled from her lips that in any other moment Ivy would be embarrassed.</p><p>“Fuck Ives, you’re so fuckin’ sexy.” Harley ground down on Ivy’s thigh as she spoke the words and Ivy was anything but embarrassed as she gripped Harley’s ass in her hands and pushed her down harder against her thigh. Harley shuddered and moaned and Ivy sat up latching desperate lips onto her shoulder, kissing, sucking, and biting every bit of flesh she found there. Harley bucked her hips and reached down to pull her shirt up over her head. Ivy watched in awe as the new bits of flesh were revealed to her. She went to kiss the flesh but was interrupted by a hand reaching down for the hem of her shirt and pushing up. Ivy quickly pushed the fabric off of her shoulders and felt herself being pushed backwards.</p><p>Her protest died on her lips when she felt the velvet expanse of Harley’s mouth wrap around her nipple. She gasped her hands immediately threading through Harley’s hair. Harley’s tongue danced delightfully against her sensitive flesh before sucking the nipple completely into her mouth. Ivy whimpered Harley’s name and the sound made Harley bite down on the dark green nub before swirling her tongue soothingly around it.</p><p>“Oh God Harley…” Harley grinned against her chest and kissed her way to the other nipple giving it the same treatment while she rolled the other between her fingers. The sensation was wonderful and overpowering and Harley trailed a hand down Ivy’s body, pushing her hand under the waistband of her pants, her fingers gently caressing the soft hair she found there. Ivy was breathless and before Ivy knew what was happening she felt a panic rise in her chest. Her fingers curled and uncurled in Harley’s hair, her breath came in shallow pants and her eyes went blurry.</p><p>Ivy didn’t know when Harley realized, when she pulled her hands away to cradle Ivy’s face in them, she didn’t know when she started reciting the calming words to her but Ivy heard shallowly in the background of her panic, Harley’s soothing voice. “It’s okay baby, just breathe. I’m here, just breathe love. Look at me Ivy, breathe baby, breathe.” Ivy’s eyes regained focus and she locked eyes with Harley. “Good girl, breathe in.” Ivy did. “Breathe out.” Ivy released the breath. They did this a few more times before Ivy felt herself calming.</p><p>All at once Ivy felt her shame and embarrassment crash into her and she couldn’t hold back the tears that streamed down her face. Harley pulled her up quickly, hugging her tightly to her chest, running a hand down her back in soothing circles. “Sssh ssh, it’s okay. It’s all okay sweetheart.”</p><p>“I’m-I’m sorry.” Ivy choked the words out against Harley’s chest and felt her arms tighten around her.</p><p>“You got nothin’ to be sorry for babe, nothin’ at all.” Harley placed a gentle kiss on the top of Ivy’s head before pulling back a little to meet her eyes. “You’re my sweet beautiful girl and ya don’t gotta be sorry about anything, okay baby?”  Ivy closed her eyes and nodded her head, her lips lifting slightly at the praise. Harley placed a soft kiss on each of her eyelids and when Ivy opened her eyes she placed another on her lips.</p><p>“C-Can you stay with me tonight?” Harley smiled softly at her.</p><p>“Of course baby. Anything you need.” Harley got off of Ivy’s lap and held out a hand to her. “Let’s get ya cleaned up sweetheart.” Ivy nodded and followed Harley to the bathroom where the smaller girl wiped a moist cloth down her face, erasing the tear tracks from moments earlier. Harley laid them down on Ivy’s bed guiding Ivy’s head to rest on her heart. Ivy felt a bit ridiculous but felt a desperate need to be coddled in that moment.</p><p>“Thank you Harley.” Harley ran her fingers gently through Ivy’s hair, massaging her scalp as she spoke.</p><p>“Ya don’t need to thank me, sweetie. Not at all.” Ivy felt her eyes getting heavy as she listened to the soft heartbeat under her ear and before she knew it she had drifted off to sleep.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>T/W: Essentially Ivy opens up to Harley about her history with abuse: how she witnessed her mother being abused for years and how Ivy herself was also abused. She tells Harley that she and her mother both died at the hands of their abusers and that's why she feels so scared of Harley's situation with Joker. Harley explains why she lashed out at Ivy, they hug it out and apologize to each other and then decide to get drunk af, which leaves you in the last section of the chapter, scroll back up and enjoy!</p><p> </p><p>Other Note: Any hipsters out there? Don't take offense, Harley's from BK so she has a very specific idea of what a hipster is, she's talkin' the hipsters you find in Williamsburg, or the ones gentrifying the shit out of Bushwick rn.... and as I'm typing this I'm realizing that if you don't live in NY you probably have no idea wtf I'm talking about. But put it this way Bensonhurst and Williamsburg are vastly different places, we're talking going from greasy (and honestly fucking delicious) dollar slices to gluten free cauliflower goat cheese and fig pizzas that run at about 5 dollars a slice, so yeah real different.  There's also just a certain image that comes to mind when you think of a Williamsburg hipster.</p><p>Other Other Note: If you guys are wondering what exactly Harley said when Ivy was in dream land literally getting lost in Harley's eyes like a fuckin' sap, here is what I wrote before I decided to go another route:</p><p>"How when ya look at me your eyes are so open, so honest, so full of somethin’ I can’t quite place, somethin’ that pulls me in deeper an’ I’m surrounded by it. How when ya look at me I want to close my eyes to stop the hammerin’ in my chest, an’ I want to kiss ya to stop the yearnin’ that lives inside my nerves. How when ya look at me alls I can think about is how I wish you were my girl ‘cause I love ya so damn much Ivy, an’ I’m really hopin’ ya feel the same."</p><p> </p><p>Other Other Other Note: Can anyone think of another compliment that starts with M? I legit couldn't think of anything. </p><p> </p><p>Last Note, I promise: I finally finished writing guys, 23 chapters total. I'll probably still go back and edit some stuff, but yeah it's done! I'm both excited and kind of sad that it's over.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. (E) The Doctor’s in</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger Warning: Brief mentions of past abuse. It's super brief but if you want to skip it, it's when Harley asks about Ivy's panic attack. Then after the line you're all good. </p><p>Other note: Ivy's an onion ya'll she's got layers... that's all I'm gonna say for now. Enjoy ;)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">The Doctor’s in</span>
</p><p>Harley wondered if Ivy usually moved as much in her sleep as Harley did or if her body just unconsciously made room for Harley’s movements. Either way the end result was the same, every time they fell asleep together they would wake in a different position. Harley’s arms were wrapped around Ivy’s body, the fingers of her right hand laced together with Ivy’s, Ivy’s hand tying Harley to her waist. Ivy’s back pressed to the front of Harley’s body, every intake of breath pulling her skin millimeters away from Harleys, every breath out pushing them back together. They hadn’t bothered to put their shirts on before going to sleep and every time Ivy shifted in her sleep her cool skin would send pleasant shivers down Harley’s warm body.</p><p>As much as Harley loved the feeling of waking up with Ivy, she would have extricated herself from Ivy’s sleeping body if she didn’t think it would wake the other woman. She wanted to put distance between them in case Ivy woke up and regretted everything, it hurt Harley to think about but she couldn’t help herself. Her mind was running wild with all the things that could go wrong when the red headed woman finally awoke. They’d been drunk the night before, what if Ivy didn’t remember what happened between them? What if in the sober light of day Ivy didn’t want Harley anymore?</p><p>Those thoughts were heartbreaking enough on their own but they weren’t the most pressing concerns in Harley’s mind. Ivy had had a panic attack the night before, and while Harley had seen her have them plenty of times before they were always provoked by some recurring nightmare that Ivy never spoke about. Last night, when the panic came, Ivy hadn’t been sleeping, she’d been panting Harley’s name, and Harley hated the idea that she’d done something to trigger such anxiety in the other woman.</p><p>Harley was a trained psychiatrist, so she knew, logically, that there were many different reasons for panic attacks, some of which had nothing to do with external triggers (i.e.: her), but her knowledge was of little comfort to her right now. Logic was never a driving force in Harley’s life, she led with her heart and dealt with the aftermath. Except this time the aftermath could lead her to losing her best friend for the second time in as many days.</p><p>Ivy stirred against Harley and Harley held her breath, this was the moment, the moment when she would find out if she screwed everything up or not. Harley expected a surprised, maybe panicked Ivy, or an adorably shy Ivy, what she hadn’t expected was for Ivy to groan then immediately turn and shove her head into Harley’s shoulder with a grunt.</p><p>“I hate alcohol, if I ever try to drink it again I want you to hit me in the face with your bat. Same result, just quicker.” Ivy’s rough voice was muffled as she spoke against Harley’s shoulder and Harley couldn’t help but laugh.</p><p>“Sorry babe, no can do. How could I possibly hit somethin’ as gorgeous as that face of yours?”</p><p>“You’re so cheesy.” Harley might have been insulted if she didn’t see the telltale blush rushing up Ivy’s neck.</p><p>“Good thing you’re not vegan.” Ivy laughed then instantly groaned.</p><p>“Ugh, laughing hurts, no jokes, just hold me while I die slowly.” Harley smiled and rolled her eyes. Ivy was the most calm and collected person she’d ever met, she could stand in the face of countless dangers with an unchanging cool demeanor. But when faced with a hangover, Ivy turned into the biggest drama queen, and Harley loved it.</p><p>Harley traced soothing patterns over Ivy’s scalp as she spoke softly, “Do ya want me to go get ya some water and aspirin?” Ivy just shook her head and gripped Harley tighter in response.</p><p>Harley couldn’t help the smile that pulled on her lips, she had been so worried that Ivy would reject her, and while Ivy had said nothing about the night before, they were lying awake half naked and cuddling, Harley didn’t imagine Ivy would want to do that if she had felt any remorse over the previous night’s events. They lay together in silence for several minutes before Harley felt the nervous strum of Ivy’s fingers against her hip.</p><p>“Ives? You okay sweetie?” Ivy nodded against Harley’s shoulder but didn’t say anything. “Are you nervous about something?” Ivy nodded again. “Is it about last night?” Another nod. “Do you want to talk about it?” Ivy didn’t move or say anything for several moments and just when Harley was sure she wouldn’t answer a rush of muffled words came from against her shoulder blade.</p><p>“I’m scared that if I move away, when we leave this bed then last night will just become another thing that we chalk up to being drunk or caught up in the moment, but it wasn’t that, not for me. I’m nervous because I like you so much, and I feel like I screwed it all up last night.” Harley knew that there were serious feelings to be discussed, conversations to be had, but she couldn’t help herself. She pulled Ivy’s face from her shoulder and kissed her with all the excitement and happiness that she felt.</p><p>When they pulled away Ivy had a shy smile on her face. “Does that mean you like me… in like… a romantic way?” Harley giggled at the cuteness of the other woman.</p><p>“Yeah Pammy, that means I like ya in a romantic way.” Ivy’s smile got wider and Harley felt her heart swell. “Yunno, for someone so smart you’d think you’da realized that I had a huge crush on ya a lot earlier.” Ivy’s eyebrows wrinkled in adorable confusion.</p><p>“You had a crush on me? How? When? What?” Harley laughed and leaned forward kissing Ivy again before answering.</p><p>“Ivy sweetheart, I been crushin’ on ya for an embarrassingly long time. Like… I think it mighta started with the letters.” Ivy’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.</p><p>“… really?” Harley nodded.</p><p>“Yeah, I mean, why didja think I was always holdin’ your hand or cuddlin’ with ya, or kissin’ your cheeks and your forehead and your nose and everything all the time? I made out with ya… twice!” Ivy shrugged.</p><p>“Is… is that not what friends do with each other?” Harley shook her head amused by Ivy’s words.</p><p>“Friends do some of that stuff sometimes, but not constantly, not all of it and definitely not all the time, not like I did. An’ now that you’re my girl, when ya get more friends ya better not do that with them!” A slow smile spread across Ivy’s face.</p><p>“I’m your girl?” Harley blushed, suddenly shy now.</p><p>“Uh… I mean… if ya wanna be?” Ivy nodded.</p><p>“Yes, I’d like that.” Harley felt a rush of relief and she pressed a soft kiss to Ivy’s lips before resting her forehead against Ivy’s.</p><p>“Good, ‘cause I don’t wanna share ya.”</p><p>“You don’t have to. Especially since I’m fairly certain that my head will be exploding shortly.” Harley rolled her eyes.</p><p>“You’re such a baby, lucky for you Nurse Harley is here to make ya feel betta.” Ivy raised an eyebrow at that.</p><p>“Nurse Harley?”  Harley nodded. “You’re a doctor Harley.” Harley shook her head.</p><p>“I know Red, I’m tryin’ to do a little sexy thing here for ya. An’ doctors aren’t sexy.”</p><p>Ivy gave her an incredulous look before responding, “Okay, that’s rude.” Harley laughed.</p><p>“Oh I didn’t mean you Ives. You are definitely real sexy Dr. Isley.” Harley leaned in and whispered Ivy’s name seductively into Ivy’s ear and Ivy shivered in response.</p><p>“Well I think you’re sexy too Dr. Quinzel.” Harley had to stifle a groan at Ivy’s words, her voice was still rough from sleep and it hit Harley in all the right places. Harley pulled away from Ivy, shaking her head and keeping her at arms distance.</p><p>“Okay, ya gotta stop, or there’s no way I’m gettin’ up from this bed to get ya somethin’ for your head.” Ivy shrugged.</p><p>“Eh, it’s a headache, I’ll live.” Harley laughed.</p><p>“So you’re not dyin’ anymore?” Ivy shook her head.</p><p>“Nope, it’s a miracle, you cured me Dr. Quinzel. Now come back.” Harley smiled and allowed herself to be pulled into Ivy’s arms. Harley settled her face into the crook of Ivy’s neck, relishing in the feel of Ivy’s arms around her. They fell into a comfortable silence, Ivy running her fingers through Harley’s hair, Harley tracing patterns along Ivy’s collarbone. It was all so achingly wonderful that Harley almost didn’t want to interrupt the moment, but there was a question rapping against her conscience and she had to get it out.</p><p>“Pammy?”</p><p>“Yeah?” Harley hesitated, trying to think of the best way to address the issue.</p><p>“Can we talk about what happened?” Harley was purposefully vague but when Ivy stiffened against her, she knew that Ivy knew exactly what she was referring to. She rushed to put the other woman at ease. “It’s just… if I did somethin’ wrong or… if somethin’ happened to trigger it, I just wanna know what it was, so I won’t do it again. I just hate that I made ya feel like that Ives.” Ivy nodded and kissed Harley’s forehead before responding.</p><p>“It wasn’t you… not really. Last night was really emotional and I was really overwhelmed by everything.” Harley nodded at that, sometimes overstimulation could lead to panic attacks, it made sense. “And…” Ivy hesitated and Harley looked up at her reaching her hand up to stroke her cheek.</p><p>“If it’s too hard…” Ivy shook her head.</p><p>“No, no, it’s… we should talk about it.” Ivy nodded resolutely to herself before taking a deep breath and continuing. “You know that Jason and I, we didn’t have a healthy relationship.” Harley nodded. “Right well… when I started getting sick he would give me injections with formulas and pain killers and who knows what else. Everything would get fuzzy, my mind would be muddled, my limbs would be heavy and… he would… force himself on me.”</p><p>Harley felt the gasp leave her lips more than she heard it, ”Oh god, Ives…” Ivy smiled sadly.</p><p>“It’s okay, it was a long time ago. I barely think about it anymore, but… with the alcohol last night and everything…I guess it just triggered something.”</p><p>Harley felt a punch of guilt in her gut, “I’m so sorry Ive, I shouldn’ta-“ Ivy interrupted her.</p><p>“No. No Harley, you didn’t do anything wrong. You had no way of knowing that would happen, hell I didn’t know it would happen. I don’t want you to feel bad about anything that happened last night.”</p><p>“But you were drunk.” Harley protested.</p><p>“So were you, and it wasn’t exactly like I was innocent in all that.” Ivy stroked a finger over the hickies on Harley’s neck for emphasis. “I wanted to have sex with you Harley, and if we had done it there is no part of me that would have regretted it. Okay?”</p><p>Harley nodded but it must have been clear from her expression that she still felt guilty because Ivy sighed and cupped Harley’s chin, tilting her head up to look at Ivy. “You are nothing like him Harley. Not at all, you stopped, you saw that there was something wrong and you stopped. You helped me, you comforted me, you made me feel like everything was okay. You did everything right, you are wonderful Harley and I’m so grateful to have you. Okay?”</p><p>Harley smiled genuinely at that and nodded, “Okay.” Harley worried her lip between her teeth and Ivy smiled.</p><p>“What’s wrong peanut?”</p><p>“It’s just… in the future…?” Ivy nodded.</p><p>“In the future, I probably shouldn’t drink that much, and I should probably be sober before we’re intimate.”</p><p>Harley nodded, “Okay, I can do that.”</p><hr/><p>“No, I don’t think Harley is an ecosexual… well because, um… actually I have no idea what an ecosexual is, what is that?” Harley listened to the seemingly one sided conversation Ivy was having with Frank as she mixed the ingredients to the hangover cure. She’d finally convinced Ivy to let Harley make her something for her headache, with the caveat that Harley wouldn’t ‘leave her to die alone in her bed.’ Harley chuckled to herself at her girlfriends’ dramatics… her girlfriend. That was so new and so lovely to think.</p><p>“Oh my God Frank! What the fuck is this?! … When I told you to Google human sexuality, this isn’t what I meant…. I am aware that I’m part plant but this is not wha- What the fuck do you mean you bought a subscription?!... When I said you could use my credit card I meant for like fertilizer or some shit not subscriptions to pornography websites you asshole!”</p><p>Harley let out a loud belt of laughter at Ivy’s outburst. “It’s not funny! He got the green goddess package, whatever the hell that means… it comes with what?! Why would you need that?!” Harley laughed again, thinking, not for the first time that she wished she could understand when Frank spoke, because surely this conversation would’ve been ten times more hilarious if she could hear his responses.</p><p>“No Frank I don’t want to- and he’s gone.” Harley carried the two glasses of her hangover cure to the sofa and handed one to Ivy before sitting down and snuggling next to the other woman. Ivy calmly took Harley’s glass out of her hand and placed both cups on the coffee table while Harley watched her in confusion.</p><p>“What’s the matter babe? Ya don’t want my-“ Before Harley could complete her question Ivy turned to her, grabbed Harley’s face in her hands and kissed her. Harley squeaked in surprise, but quickly adjusted and kissed Ivy back with as much passion as she was getting. When Ivy pulled away Harley felt herself in a bit of a daze, damn Ivy was a good kisser. “Wow… what was that for?” Ivy shrugged before handing Harley back her glass and taking her own from the coffee table.</p><p>“To say thank you for making me this.” Ivy gestured at her drink and Harley laughed.</p><p>“Oh yeah? I get kisses for makin’ ya things?” Ivy nodded. “Well in that case you owe me alotta kisses, I’ve made ya alotta dinners, and cookies and hangover cures these last coupla months, ya got a big debt to settle.” Ivy chuckled taking a sip of her drink before responding.</p><p>“I’ve never been in debt before, do I have to pay interest?” Harley smirked.</p><p>“Sooo much interest… wait you’ve never been in debt before?”</p><p>“I mean yeah… I grew up wealthy and when I got my powers and got revenge on my father I had him split his estate between myself and the deforestation fund. It was a 90-10 split, but still with that and the money I get from patents on my research I’d say I’m upper-middle class.” Harley nodded thoughtfully at that.</p><p>“I’ve never had a sugar daddy before, what do I get if I’m good daddy?” Harley wiggled her eyebrows at Ivy who choked on her drink at Harley’s words. Harley laughed as she patted the coughing woman’s back.</p><p>“Oh my God you can’t say things like that to me, you’re going to kill me. Also, you regularly steal money from people Harls, there is literally a giant pile of cash in your room right now. Why on earth would you need a ‘sugar daddy’?” Harley shrugged.</p><p>“I don’t, but it’s fun to tease ya.” Harley smiled sweetly at Ivy who laughed in return.</p><p>“Okay, but for the record I am firmly against the use of the term ‘daddy’ or any other family related terms in the bedroom.” Harley nodded.</p><p>“Noted. I’d rather call ya Dr. Isley anyways.” Harley winked and once again Ivy choked on her drink.</p><p>“Damn it Harley.” Harley giggled and gave Ivy a soft peck on her lips.</p><p>“Sorry baby, you’re just so easy to rile up, I promise I’ll stop, I don’t want ya to die before we get to have our first date.” Ivy nodded.</p><p>“I appreciate that, do I get to survive to our second date as well?” Harley shrugged.</p><p>“Depends on how good the first date goes.” Ivy laughed wholeheartedly at that and Harley smiled.</p><p>“Speaking of which,” Ivy set her empty glass down and held Harley’s hand in her own as she spoke. “Harleen Quinzel, would you do me the honor of going on a date with me?” Harley put her own glass down on the table before jumping onto Ivy’s lap and pressing a wet sloppy kiss to her lips.</p><p>“Yes! Absolutely. I wa-“ Harley was cut off as Frank burst into the house and plopped a box in front of the two women. Harley’s eyebrows shot up in surprise at the contents of the box and when she looked to Ivy the other woman’s face was just as surprised as Harley’s was.</p><p>“Frank what the fuck?!” Harley got off of Ivy’s lap as the other woman argued with the vine and sat down next to the box on the floor, combing through its contents. It was a fairly impressive collection of sex toys, and Harley was currently imagining all the ways she could use them with Ivy. Harley was tinkering with the straps on the harness in her hand when Ivy finally turned her attention back to Harley.</p><p>“I’m taking his credit card away I swear to-oh… you’re… that’s… uh…” Harley smirked at Ivy’s flustered words. The harness was made up of simple black straps that came down from Harley’s shoulders then split into open triangle like sections made to frame her breasts, the straps were connected in the center by two small metal rings, one in the center of her chest and one on her back. Harley gave the harness one last adjustment before crawling over to Ivy on the sofa and kneeling in front of her, hands on Ivy’s knees.</p><p>“You okay Dr. Isley?” Ivy nodded dumbly in response and Harley had to force a laugh down. Ivy was so undeniably cute, sure Harley was wearing a harness that was designed to be sexy, but she was also wearing her pajama top, and she was certain that this probably looked more ridiculous than sexy, but Ivy was still flustered and Harley thought that was cute. Harley ran her hands up Ivy’s legs, coming to rest them on Ivy’s upper thighs, giving them a gentle squeeze before speaking again.</p><p>“So ya wanna tell me why ya got a giant box of sex toys?” Ivy looked as if her brain was short circuited and Harley had to laugh. Harley stood up and sat down on Ivy’s lap again, before kissing her forehead. “I’ll stop teasing ya, but really Pammy if ya got all this I don’t understand why you’re so shy.” Ivy flushed and buried her head into Harleys shoulder before speaking.</p><p>“Frank bought a subscription to some porn website called ecoeroticism.com and he got the green goddess package which apparently includes a monthly shipment of sustainable sex toys. So… yeah, I’m going to kill him and take away his credit card.” Harley laughed so hard tears came down her cheeks and she had to speak her next words through fits of laughter.</p><p>“What the fuck is eco-eroticism??” Ivy rolled her eyes.</p><p>“Apparently according to the website it’s people who like to have sex with plants.” Harley’s laughter stopped short and she raised an eyebrow at that.</p><p>“Like… usin’ plants to have sex or like fuckin’ trees?”</p><p>“I don’t know, both I guess? Frank apparently thought that’s what I enjoyed and I am both horrified and insulted.” Harley started laughing again and Ivy pulled away from her shoulder to scowl at her.</p><p>“I’m sorry babe, but that shit is funny, an’ hey at least we got this now.” Harley gestured to the harness she still wore. “And it seems like ya really like this.” Ivy blushed and gave Harley a small almost imperceptible nod at that.</p><p>“It… you… it looks nice on you.” Harley grinned and leaned down to whisper in Ivy’s ear.</p><p>“Maybe if our first date goes well, I’ll wear this and only this to our second date.” Ivy groaned in response and Harley giggled.</p><p>“Harley?”</p><p>“Yeah babe?”</p><p>“That drink you made me had alcohol in it but I’m completely sober right now.” Harley wrinkled her eyebrows in confusion.</p><p>“Okay? It’s not really meant to make ya drunk, but if ya want me to make ya a stronger one I can do that.” Ivy shook her head at that and Harley was even more confused.</p><p>“I just wanted you to be aware of my current state of mind before I carried you upstairs and pinned you to the bed.” It was Harley’s turn to blush, while normal Ivy was shy and easily flustered, horny Ivy appeared to be a tad more confident and Harley liked that, a lot. Ivy grabbed the back of Harley’s neck and pulled her in for a passionate kiss, when they separated Ivy’s hands left Harley’s face and they slid down her body coming to rest on her hips.</p><p>Ivy gently squeezed Harley’s hips before speaking again, ”Would you like to have sex with me sweet pea?” Harley whimpered at that, grinding her hips against Ivy as she nodded. Ivy gave Harley’s hip a soft pinch. “You have to use your words sweet pea, tell me what you want.” Harley felt a rush of arousal hit her at the gentle but firm tone Ivy was using. Harley had no idea where this brazenness was coming from but holy shit was it hot.</p><p>“I want ya to fuck me Red.” Ivy pinched Harley’s hip again.</p><p>“Dr. Isley,” she corrected and Harley thought she might just cum right then and there.</p><p>“I want ya to fuck me Dr. Isley.” Ivy hummed in approval before lightly patting Harley’s ass.</p><p>“Good girl, now hold on tight sweet pea, I don’t want you to fall.” As she said that Ivy stood up and Harley squeaked wrapping her arms tightly around Ivy’s neck as Ivy carried her up the stairs. When they finally made it to Ivy’s room Harley’s lips were kiss swollen and she was sure they’d both have bruises on their backs from all of the things they’d bumped into along the way.</p><p>Ivy sat Harley down at the edge of the bed, spreading her knees apart as she knelt between them, mirroring Harley’s earlier teasing. Harley bit her lip as she looked down at Ivy who ran her hands up Harley’s thighs stopping at Harley’s center, framing it with her hands. Harley groaned, she didn’t care how desperate she sounded, she didn’t care that there was an obscene wet spot soaking straight through her sleep shorts. She didn’t care about anything except getting Ivy’s hands closer to where she needed them.</p><p>Ivy smirked as she looked up at Harley. She maintained eye contact as she slowly lowered her head and placed a quick firm kiss directly on the fabric covering Harley’s throbbing clit. Harley felt a jolt rush through her and she arched her back a moan ripping through her lips at the sensation. Ivy hummed in appreciation at the sound before moving her hands down to the edges of Harley’s shorts.</p><p>Ivy ran soft cool fingers at the bottom hem of the shorts as she spoke, “Tell me what you need sweet pea.”</p><p>Harley’s mind ran wild with the possibilities and the words tumbled out of her mouth so quickly that Harley hadn’t even had time to properly process them. “I need ya to kiss me like that again, I need ya inside of me, I need ya to make me cum Dr. Isley.” Ivy’s eyes dilated at the words and all at once she was doing exactly what Harley had asked of her.</p><p>Ivy leant forward pushing her lips firmly against Harley’s clothed pussy as her hand snaked up the leg of Harley’s shorts, her fingers deftly pushing the soaked material of her panties aside as she eased a long finger into Harley’s quivering sex. Harley had expected the other woman to remove her clothes first, but there was something so incredibly hot about getting fucked with her clothes on. Ivy started slowly sliding her finger in and out of Harley.</p><p>“Oh fuck! Please Pammy-Dr. Isley, more.” Ivy pushed another finger inside of Harley and quickened her pace, the sounds of slick flesh mingling in the air with Harley’s moans. Ivy didn’t have a large range of motion in the confines of Harley’s shorts but when her thumb came up to press down firmly on Harley’s clit Harley felt her orgasm rip through her embarrassingly quickly. Ivy didn’t remove her fingers until the final wave of Harley’s orgasm rippled through her.</p><p>When Ivy did remove her fingers she looked Harley directly in the eyes as she licked them clean. Harley whimpered at the sight and Ivy chuckled, standing up and removing her shirt in one quick motion. Her head fuzzy with arousal, Harley blurted the first thing that came to her mind.</p><p>“Fuck ya got nice tits Red.” A bark of surprised laughter came from Ivy’s lips and Harley just smiled widely at her. “Sorry, I mean Dr. Isley.” Ivy still laughing lightly leaned down and placed a soft kiss on Harley’s lips. Harley could taste herself on Ivy’s lips and it turned her on to no end. With her lips still pressed to Harley’s Ivy ran her fingers up Harley’s sides before cupping Harley’s clothed breasts and squeezing gently.</p><p>“If memory serves, so do you. Why don’t you show me sweet pea?” With that Ivy moved back to watch Harley as Harley quickly removed the harness and shirt she was wearing. Ivy swooped down and placed a ghost of a kiss on Harley’s right nipple and it took every ounce of willpower Harley had not to push the other woman’s face against her breast. “Magnificent, get comfortable sweet pea.”</p><p>Harley nodded and moved to the center of the bed, pulling her shorts and underwear off quickly and throwing them to the side. Ivy kicked off her pants as well before joining Harley on the bed. Ivy’s eyes zeroed in on Harley’s pussy and Harley squirmed under her gaze. Ivy smirked and pressed a kiss to Harley’s lips before kissing down to her neck and sucking gently there, Harley moved to push her hands into Ivy’s hair but Ivy was too quick and she kissed down Harley’s arm, when she reached Harley’s fingertips she pulled Harley’s middle finger into her mouth, swirling her tongue around it and Harley moaned at the sight.</p><p>But Ivy didn’t linger for long, she kissed across Harley’s rib cage, pausing to nip, or lick at Harley’s heated flesh once in a while. Ivy kissed along the curve of Harley’s breasts inching slowly closer to Harley’s nipples but never touching them. Harley was losing her fucking mind with how horny she was, it surprised her how much, sure Harley liked sex, but usually she was a one and done girl, and honestly she was surprised her body was up for more. Ivy was magical, an honest to goodness sex goddess, and fuck if she didn’t make Harley insanely horny.</p><p>Ivy ghosted her lips across Harley’s sensitive nipples and Harley arched her back instinctively. Ivy grinned but pulled back, pinching Harley’s hip lightly. “You have to ask for what you want sweet pea.”</p><p>“Holy fuckin’ shit Pammy, that’s so fuckin’ hot.” Harley couldn’t help but blurt the words out and Ivy let out a rich chuckle in response, before pinching her hip again.</p><p>“Dr. Isley.” Harley groaned, dear god this woman was the epitome of sexy, but two could play that game.</p><p>“Pammy.” Harley said it with a teasing tone, and a sparkle in her eyes, almost challenging Ivy. Ivy grinned and pinched Harley’s hip again before sitting up and pulling away from Harley completely. Harley whined at the loss of contact, she might have overplayed her hand a bit.</p><p>“Dr. Isley, please, I’ll be a good girl.” Harley spread her legs, biting back the smirk that wanted to form as Ivy’s hungry eyes took in the sight. Ivy licked her lips and Harley quivered in response. Harley wanted so badly to pull her down and ride Ivy’s face until she couldn’t cum anymore, but Dr. Isley was in charge, and Harley liked that, so she stayed still.</p><p>After several torturous seconds Ivy finally leaned down kissing across Harley’s abdomen and down to her mound. Harley held her breath as Ivy traced her fingers along the diamond of blonde hair there, “I like this.”</p><p>Harley’s breath hitched as she answered, “Thank you Dr. Isley.” Ivy smirked again, she was so fucking smug, but Harley could care less if it meant that Ivy would keep doing what she was doing.</p><p>“You’re welcome sweet pea.” Ivy said this as she lowered herself even more, kissing along Harley’s thighs until she got to the soft sensitive patch of flesh there, so close to where Harley needed her, but not there yet. Harley threw her head back letting out a loud moan as Ivy sucked and bit the flesh there, and Harley wondered for a moment if it was high enough for her shorts to cover, but then immediately decided that she didn’t give a flying fuck because Ivy was doing it to the other thigh now and Harley was sure she was going to cum without Ivy ever having touched her sex.</p><p>But then all at once Ivy pulled herself away lying beside Harley as she traced soft circles around Harley’s left nipple and Harley squirmed under her touch. When she did her thigh came in contact with Ivy’s clothed pussy and the feel of the soaking fabric had Harley’s head swimming. When Ivy bit back a groan at the contact what Harley really wanted to do was push Ivy backwards and suck on her clit until she came all over Harley’s face. Harley groaned at the thought and Ivy raised an eyebrow at her.</p><p>“What’s wrong sweetpea? What do you want me to do?”</p><p>“Take off your underwear and let me lick ya until ya cum all over my face… please… Dr. Isley.” Ivy laughed and leaned down to give Harley a long sensuous kiss.</p><p>“That sounds like fun sweet pea, but I’m not done with you yet.” Harley was about to protest when Ivy dipped her hand lower and flicked Harley’s clit with her thumb. Harley arched up against Ivy’s hand only to have it pulled away, Harley whined at the loss of contact. “Tell me what you need sweet pea.”</p><p>“Please, suck on my tits an’ fuck me until I can’t cum anymore Dr. Isley.” As soon as the words left her lips Ivy latched her lips around Harley’s right nipple and sucked the sensitive nub into her mouth. Harley’s hands flew up to Ivy’s head and held her there as Ivy alternated between sucking, nibbling and licking Harley’s nipple. Ivy pushed two fingers inside of Harley at once and Harley gasped, Ivy paused at the sound looking up to meet Harley’s eyes.</p><p>“Sorry, was that too much? Are you okay?” Harley ground her hips down on Ivy’s stilled fingers needing her to keep fucking going.</p><p>“Yes, fuck that’s amazin’ baby, keep goin’. Please Dr. Isley.” Ivy smiled and latched her lips to Harley’s other nipple as she pumped her fingers in and out of her, curling them each time she pulled out. Harley couldn’t help the stream of words that came out of her mouth as she bucked her hips wildly. “Oh fuck Pammy, that’s so good baby, keep goin’, fuck.” Ivy moved her mouth from Harley’s nipple and Harley was about to complain when Ivy lowered herself down, her mouth inches away from Harley’s pussy.</p><p>“I’m going to suck on your clit until you push me away, is that okay sweet pea?”</p><p>“Holy shit, yes, please do that, Dr. Isley, please.” Ivy smirked before lowering her lips to Harley’s clit and sucking the sensitive flesh into her wonderful mouth. Harley felt like every nerve in her body was reacting to Ivy’s touch and she pushed her hands into Ivy’s hair holding the other woman to her pussy as she bucked at her touch. “Oh fuck Ivy, that feels so good baby, faster baby.” Ivy pumped her fingers faster and alternated between sucking Harley’s clit and flicking quick circles on it with her tongue.</p><p>Harley was sure that she’d never felt anything as wonderful as Ivy’s mouth or as amazing as Ivy’s fingers. Soon enough Harley felt another orgasm ripping through her and she arched up screaming Ivy’s name as the other woman continued to suck and finger her. True to her word Ivy stilled her fingers in Harley’s pussy but continued to lightly suck on the other woman’s clit. Harley squirmed weakly but had no energy in her to push Ivy away, instead she rubbed lazy fingers through Ivy’s hair as the other woman licked Harley clean. Ivy pulled two more soft quivering orgasms out of Harley before Harley finally pushed Ivy’s head away.</p><p>“Oh fuck baby, I can’t. God that was amazin’.” Ivy smiled pulling her fingers out of Harley and placing a soft kiss on the short patch of hair above Harley’s clit before moving back up to lay beside Harley. Harley pulled Ivy into a kiss that Ivy returned eagerly. Harley was exhausted, but no amount of exhaustion was going to keep her from making good on her promise to make Ivy cum. Harley kissed her way to Ivy’s neck and bit the soft flesh there before whispering in Ivy’s ear.</p><p>“Dr. Isley, I’m gonna lick your pussy now.” As she said the words she traced a hand down Ivy’s body pushing her fingers against the wet fabric of Ivy’s underwear. “You’re so wet doc, can I take care of that for ya?” Ivy bucked her hips up in response.</p><p>“Fuck, yes.” Harley smiled and kissed Ivy’s neck before trailing kisses down Ivy’s body. She stopped at Ivy’s breasts admiring the perfect green mounds as she twirled her tongue around the dark green nipples. Ivy groaned, pushing her hand into Harley’s hair as Harley licked and sucked her nipples, switching back and forth between the two until Ivy was a whimpering mess. Harley gave each nipple a final kiss before continuing her journey down.</p><p>When Harley reached Ivy’s soaked lace panties her mouth was nearly watering at the sight. With a sudden rush of urgency Harley pushed the panties aside quickly, not bothering to take them off as she licked from Ivy’s folds to her clit. “Oh my god Harley!” Harley couldn’t help the smirk that came across her lips at the sound of Ivy screaming her name.</p><p>Ivy was delicious and Harley couldn’t wait to get more. Harley used her fingers to spread Ivy’s dark green folds apart and dipped her tongue into Ivy’s pussy. Harley pushed her tongue in and out of Ivy several more times before licking up Ivy’s slit again and circling her glistening clit with her tongue. Harley sucked the pulsing nub into her mouth as she pushed a single finger into Ivy’s pussy. Ivy was so incredibly tight and warm that Harley took a sharp intake of breath at the feel of her velvety pussy around her digit.</p><p>Harley started a gentle rhythm loving the way Ivy’s pussy gripped her finger every time she pulled out, almost as if it wanted her to stay inside forever. Harley hummed happily at the thought and the vibrations made Ivy arch her back and push Harley’s face against her more tightly. Harley, happy to comply, started sucking harder on Ivy’s clit. Soon enough Ivy was bucking against her, her pussy pulsing around Harley’s finger as she came.</p><p>After Ivy seemed to settle Harley twirled her tongue around Ivy’s clit again and Ivy hissed. “Too sensitive.” Harley frowned a little disappointed but nodded and moved back up Ivy’s body kissing Ivy gently, she’d give Ivy some time to rest, but she was absolutely going to give her at least one other orgasm today. Ivy returned the kiss and wrapped her arms around Harley, the two laying in silence for several moments before Ivy spoke again.</p><p>“Babe?”</p><p>“Yeah Pammy?”</p><p>“You still have your finger inside of me.” Harley nodded.</p><p>“Oh yeah, it lives there now.” Ivy laughed.</p><p>“Does it?” Harley nodded resolutely.</p><p>“Yep, I asked my lil daffodil and she said it was okay.” Ivy arched an eyebrow at that.</p><p>“Your little daffodil?” Harley nodded.</p><p>“Yeah, that’s her name.” Harley wiggled her finger inside of Ivy for emphasis and Ivy grunted.</p><p>“Well while I’m glad you two get along so well, I think this living arrangement might be problematic.” Harley pouted and pulled her finger out of Ivy slowly before bringing it to her lips and licking it clean. “Damn that’s hot.” Harley smirked at that.</p><p>“You’re the hot one <strong>Dr.Isley</strong>.” Harley put emphasis on the title and Ivy blushed pushing her head into Harley’s shoulder. Harley laughed, how could someone go from sex goddess to shy dork so quickly? “Aww baby ya don’t gotta be embarrassed. That was really really sexy.” There was a short moment of silence before Harley heard the soft muffled reply.</p><p>“It wasn’t too much?” Harley smiled and kissed Ivy’s forehead before responding.</p><p>“No sweetheart, it was perfect. You can take charge like that in the bedroom anytime ya want baby, I really liked it. I’ve never cum so hard in my entire life.” Harley felt Ivy smile against her shoulder.</p><p>“Really?” Harley chuckled, of course Ivy would make her cum four times in a row and still be humble about it.</p><p>“Baby, honest ta goodness, I don’t think I can even walk right now, that’s how hard ya made me cum.” Ivy pulled her head from Harley’s shoulder and her dorky smile made Harley melt all over again. “You’re so fuckin’ cute.” Before Ivy could respond Harley pulled her in for another kiss, when they separated Harley snuggled into Ivy’s side.</p><p>“Now, I need a nap, because that was amazin’ and I’m exhausted, so cuddle me damn it.” Ivy laughed and wrapped her arms around Harley.</p><p>“Yes Ma’am.” Harley sighed happily and drifted off to sleep listening to the soft breathing of the woman under her.</p><p>Harley awoke several hours later to a soft ping from her phone, she grumbled and opened her eyes looking for the offending item. She noticed two things right away, one she was alone in the room and two she’d accidentally slept through the day. Harley got up from the bed and went in search of her shorts that she’d flung across the room earlier that day. Once Harley found them she pulled her phone from the pocket and threw the shorts into the hamper, Ivy had made a mess of them and they definitely needed to be washed.</p><p>Harley felt a slow grin come over her face at the memory, she opened one of Ivy’s drawers and pulled out a t-shirt throwing it over her body before noticing the envelope on the nightstand with her name on it. Harley skipped happily over to pick it up and flopped back down on the bed holding the envelope to her nose. Just as she had suspected it smelled of lavender and Harley felt a giddy jolt rush through her. She was about to open the letter when her phone pinged again. Harley picked up the phone to check her messages.</p><p>Joker: hey puddin</p><p>Joker: i heard you gave up meat for passover *eggplant emoji*</p><p>Joker: * laughing smiley face, laughing smiley face, laughing smiley face, laughing smiley face *</p><p>Harley rolled her eyes at the messages. Passover wasn’t until March and you didn’t-ugh whatever. Harley chose not to respond to Joker’s dumb joke and instead threw her phone back down and picked up the envelope again, tracing the letters of her name with her finger before turning it around and opening it carefully.</p><p>
  <em>Dear HQ,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It’s been so long since I’ve written a letter to you, it feels a bit strange. I suppose you’re wondering about the reasoning for my letter, well the reason I’ve written to you is because I’d like to let you know that you’re really fucking cute when you sleep. You drool a little, and you snore a little, but you somehow manage to make that cute. I don’t know how you manage it, you’re a miracle of modern science Harleen Quinzel… or perhaps witchcraft? I’m not sure which it is, but I’m enthralled by you either way. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I would also like to take this opportunity to thank you for the sex. It was magnificent, I truly enjoyed it, ten out of ten, top notch, applause all around. I look forward to meeting with you again and enjoying many more orgasms. Is thanking someone for sex weird? My stepmother always did say I should write more thank you notes… so… I give to you my greatest gratitude. I’m eager for the opportunity to collaborate again. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Speaking of which, if you would do me the honor of going on a date with me this evening I would greatly appreciate it. Did that make it sound like I expect to have sex on our date? I didn’t mean for it to sound like that, you don’t have to have sex with me on our date. You can, but it’s not like I expect it, no pressure. The sex that we have is not transactional and you should in no way feel obligated to engage in it if you don’t want to. I would like for our future sexual encounters to be mutually agreed upon and in no way burdensome for you. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I feel like I’ve lost the plot a bit here, allow me to try again. Harleen Quinzel, I would very much like to go on a date with you, if you find this to be agreeable please meet me in the greenhouse at 7pm. If you wake up a lot earlier than that please ignore me as I nervously rush around the house, I haven’t been on a date in a very long time and I’m exceedingly anxious but also cautiously optimistic. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>As you are well aware I’m not very good at expressing myself so if you would be so kind as to oblige me, I’d like to end this letter by saying a few things about you.  There are many things that I don’t understand about you, like for example the way you eat Oreos, why do you break them up into tiny pieces and eat them with a spoon? They’re so much harder to consume that way, it defies logic. You defy logic. There are days were I can’t wrap my head around any of it, I can’t figure out how after three years of solitude all it took to break down my walls was a couple of stolen plants and some letters. Though that’s not entirely true is it? It wasn’t that, at least not completely, it was you. There is something so clandestine about your charm that I was unaware what was happening until I was completely under your spell. I am truly, exceptionally grateful to have you in my life Harley. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>You are the first touch of summer after a harsh unforgiving winter, you are a sun shower after a heat wave, you are a tenacious sprout breaking through cold concrete, you are the first bloom of spring. When you smile you make me forget that sadness ever existed, when you laugh I am reminded of what true happiness is. Your eyes are so deep and expressive that I feel sometimes I can have a whole conversation with you just by looking into them. Your kindness and patience astounds me, I cannot begin to understand how you have a never-ending wealth of both or how you give of them so freely. You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met and your beauty is only amplified by the wealth of passion and kindness that fills your heart. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>You, Harley Quinn, are everything, and I hope that one day I can bring into your life the same amount of joy that you’ve brought into mine. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Yours Completely,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Pamela Isley</em>
</p><p>
  <em>P.S. Would you please message me before you come downstairs? I want to make sure I’m ready. </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay first and foremost, I'm not good at writing smut so keep the criticism to a minimum, I tried, and I was blushing the whole time, so give me some goddamn credit.</p><p>Second, I Googled 'plant based fetishes' mostly for shits and giggles, not really expecting to find anything, eco-fetishism is real and I was NOT prepared for what I saw. </p><p>Third, Joker's an absolute irredeemable asshole... but I giggled when I wrote that joke. lol</p><p>Fourth, did Ivy legitimately write a thank you note to Harley for sex? ... yep.</p><p>and lastly, thank you all for reading, I really REALLY appreciate all your comments and kudos and bookmarks and whatnot. You guys are great, seriously.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. (E) First Dates Are Like Cotton Candy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey guys, sorry for posting so late, I got caught up in writing. If you're wondering, am I three and a half chapters into writing a new fic almost immediately after finishing this one? The answer is yes, yes I am. </p><p>Trigger Warnings: None for this chapter but as usual if you see something say something.</p><p>Other note: If you enjoy smut, then congrats this chapter is imho a lot smuttier than the last one. If you don't enjoy smut, then congrats because this is the last of the smut for this fic. LoL, win-win?</p><p>Other Other note: I am by no means an expert on fashion, the terms used to describe Harley and Ivy's outfits were pulled from random assortments of fashion websites. If you read this and think to yourself, 'shit those outfits sound horrible,' then... I mean fair bc idk bro.</p><p>Other Other Other note: This chapter is again obnoxiously long, my bad.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">First Dates Are Like Cotton Candy</span>
</p><p><strong><em>So you and Harley rubbed pistils, eh?</em></strong> Ivy rolled her eyes. “Frank, once again, humans don’t have plant reproductive parts… but yes we had sex.”</p><p><strong><em>Finally! You two have been mooning over each other for months! Honestly, watching the human mating ritual is exhausting. Does it usually last this long? </em></strong>“No… yes… I don’t know, just shut up and go away I’m trying to calm down.”</p><p><strong><em>Riiight, because you’re nervous?</em></strong> “Yes.”</p><p><strong><em>For your date?</em></strong> “Yes.”</p><p><strong><em>Even though you both clearly have been pining for each other for months and you’ve already admitted your feelings for each other and you’ve already mated.</em></strong> “… what’s your fucking point Frank?”</p><p><strong><em>My point is I don’t know why you’re so fucking nervous. You could literally take the girl to Chuck E. Cheese and she’d still be head over heels for your dumbass!</em></strong> “Firstly… do you really think she’s head over heels for me? Secondly, I’m not going to take her to Chuck E. Cheese that’s ridiculous… or… do you really think she’d want to do that? Should I make a reservation?” Ivy heard Frank’s loud rambunctious laughter echoing in her mind and she scowled.</p><p>“Stop laughing at me and answer the damn question Frank!” <strong><em>Okay, Okay, Okay, I’m sorry. You’re just being really extra right now. One, yes of course she is, that girl looks at you like you fucking invented the moon or some shit. Two, no don’t take her to Chuck E. Cheese on your first date, that’s a horrible idea, I was joking… clearly. Three, relax Ivy, she’s going to love the cheesy shit you set up. Just remember first dates should be like cotton candy.</em></strong></p><p>Ivy raised a questioning eyebrow at that. “What the fuck does that mean?” <strong><em>It means they should be sweet and light and at the end of it you should be hungry for more.</em></strong></p><p>“That’s… surprisingly insightful…” <strong><em>Yeah I know, @Myfatassassin tweeted it the other day.</em></strong></p><p>“Who the fuck…? Are they an obese assassin or an assassin with a large posterior?” <strong><em>I don’t know, I think the second one, but I’m not sure. Still it’s a solid guideline. You got the sweet down pact, now all you have to do is keep it light. </em></strong></p><p>“Right… light… I can do that… it’s um… how do I do that?”<strong><em> I don’t know watch a movie or play a game or some shit.</em></strong></p><p>“Yes, okay, I can do that… can you please help me do that?”</p><p>After enduring relentless teasing from Frank Ivy had finally managed to set up what she’d hoped was a satisfactory first date. It wasn’t as if Ivy hadn’t been on a first date herself, she’d been on plenty of them, but the idea of taking Harley to a restaurant for their first date felt impersonal and not nearly as much effort as Harley deserved. But as the clock ticked closer to seven Ivy felt her anxiety grow, what if Harley hated it? What if she wanted to go out? What if she thought it was cheesy or stupid? What if she felt insulted that Ivy didn’t take her to a fancy restaurant?</p><p>Ivy was brought out of her spiraling thoughts by the rapid-fire pinging of her phone. Ivy rushed to her desk to read the messages.</p><p>Peanut: omg that was the sweetest cutest dorkiest letter i’ve ever read! ur adorable! i loved it! thank you!</p><p>Peanut: *smiley face* *heart* *heart*</p><p>Peanut: i’ll b down soon i just wanna take a quick shower first what’s the vibe of this date? can i wear booty shorts?</p><p>Ivy: Thank you! Frank said it was corny, and casual dress is good. Though I would wear something a little warmer than shorts, it’s supposed to be a bit chilly later.</p><p>Peanut: will do an’ frank don’t know shit ur sweet and i love it see ya in a few! *kissy face, kissy face*</p><p>Ivy felt herself relax a bit at Harley’s words, what had she been so worried about? Harley had never teased her for her awkwardness before, why would she start now? Ivy took a deep breath and nodded to herself. Yes, it would all be okay… she hoped.</p><hr/><p>When Harley met Ivy in the greenhouse she’d only half heeded Ivy’s warning about the cold. She was wearing a red off the shoulder crop top and a pair of skin tight black jeans that had more holes in them than fabric. Though considering the fact that Harley went out on a regular basis in something that resembled a bikini Ivy supposed this was dressing warm for the other woman. Harley had her signature make up on, her hair that was normally up in pig tails cascaded down her shoulders in loose waves, she looked stunning.</p><p>“You look stunning.” Harley blushed at the compliment and placed a soft kiss on Ivy’s cheek before responding.</p><p>“You’re sweet, but if we’re talkin’ stunnin’ have ya looked in the mirror Red? You’re lookin’ pretty hot yourself.” Ivy laughed good naturedly and pulled Harley in for a quick kiss. Ivy was wearing a simple floral patterned boho dress, paired with low heeled boots and a boater style hat, all of which Harley had picked out for her during one of their shopping trips, it wasn’t fancy by any means, but she still enjoyed Harley’s compliment.</p><p>“Thank you, are you ready to go?” Harley nodded and held her hand out for Ivy to take. Ivy smiled and laced their fingers together as she led Harley outside. Soon enough they found themselves in front of the abandoned visitor’s center in the center of the park.</p><p>The visitor’s center had long ago stopped serving its intended purpose and was completely overrun with plants and wildlife. The raccoons and moss were of no consequence to Ivy as she only needed the butterfly roof of the building for their date. Ivy wrapped her arms around Harley and carefully used a vine to pull them up to the roof.</p><p>On the rooftop Ivy had set up several blankets and pillows to pad the hard surface. All around the rooftop Ivy had sprouted omphalotus illudens, or Jack-o-lantern mushrooms, normally Ivy was not very good at working with fungi, but these were native to the area and easier to handle. The sea of bioluminescent mushrooms cast a soft green light over the set-up, Ivy had hoped it would look more romantic than simple torches (which she had prepared as well, just in case.). In the center of the blankets was her laptop (loaded with movies that Frank had insured her were perfect for a date), a box of cookies (the ones that Harley really liked), a pizza, a board game and a small cooler. One side of the roof over looked the park and the nearby lake, while the other side showed a sweeping view of the Gotham city skyline.</p><p>“Uh… so here it is, I know pizza’s not really considered a romantic food, but I-“ Ivy was cut off by a body slamming into hers. The air rushed out of her as Harley wrapped her in a tight hug. “Does this mean you like it?” Ivy asked the question hopefully and felt Harley laugh against her.</p><p>“Yeah Ives, this means I like it. This is so sweet, thank you for settin’ this up for us.” Ivy smiled brightly at that and Harley giggled pressing a soft kiss to Ivy’s lips before skipping over to the blankets, flinging her purse haphazardly off to the side and plopping down in the center. Ivy went and sat next to Harley who clapped happily as Ivy opened the pizza box and handed Harley a plate with a slice on it. “mmm Gino’s pizza, my favorite! Thank you, baby.”</p><p>“You’re welcome sweet pea.” Harley bit her lip and got a far off look in her eyes and Ivy looked at her in concern. “Harley honey, are you okay?” Harley seemed to shake herself at that and she laughed and nodded.</p><p>“Yeah, sorry, it’s just after this afternoon I don’t think I’ll be able to hear that nickname without thinkin’ about Dr. Isley.” Harley whispered her name seductively and Ivy felt her face get hot.</p><p>“Oh… I… um.. should I use a different nickname?” Harley shook her head, her mouth already filled with a bite of pizza.</p><p>Harley swallowed and paused before taking another bite, “No baby, I like it when ya call me sweet pea, it’s cute. I also like it when ya call me peanut, or baby, or babe or really anythin’, but don’t stop callin’ me sweet pea, ‘cause now it’s my favorite.” Harley wiggled her eyebrows for emphasis and Ivy chuckled. “Hey, how’d ya get these lil guys to glow like that?” Harley gestured at the mushrooms surrounding them.</p><p>“Oh those are omphalotus illudens, they glow naturally, I didn’t have to alter them at all, just grow them. Interestingly enough the illuden derivative that comes from these mushrooms can be used in cancer treatments.” Harley nodded along.</p><p>“Oh that’s cool, so these oompa lumpa mushrooms are good for people then?” Ivy laughed and softly corrected the other woman.</p><p>“Omphalotus illudens, and kind of, they can’t be ingested directly, they aren’t high enough in toxicity to kill a person, but there are plenty of unpleasant gastrointestinal side effects.”</p><p>“Okay, so how do ya get the cancer fixin’ stuff outta the phallus dens.”</p><p>“Omphalotus illudens, and isolating chemical compounds from plants usually requires a process of drying them out and using a number of solvents, then of course since illuden itself is poisonous it has to be chemically modified before use.” Harley hummed thoughtfully.</p><p>“That sounds complicated, I’m glad I’m a brain doctor not a biochemist. How do ya even remember all those sciency plant names anyways? Flat tush lootin’s?” Ivy chuckled.</p><p>“Omphalotus illudens, and years and years of drilling and memorization, if it helps the more commonly used name for them is Jack-o-lantern mushrooms.” Harley nodded.</p><p>“Yeah that’s much easier, why didn’t ya just call ‘em that?” Ivy shrugged.</p><p>“I like hearing you mispronounce the scientific names of plants, it’s endearing.” Harley swatted Ivy’s arm playfully and Ivy just laughed.</p><p>“So what’s that for?” Harley gestured to the board game in the center of the blanket and Ivy picked it up to show her as she spoke.</p><p>“Frank suggested that I have some forms of entertainment for our date, so I downloaded some movies and bought this. It’s called Jenga, a website called Pinterest suggested that this was a romantic board game to play, though is it considered a board game if there aren’t any boards?” Harley laughed.</p><p>“Yeah I know what Jenga is Red, how is it romantic though?” Ivy opened the box and emptied the contents in the space between them.</p><p>“Oh good, I’ve never played, you can explain the rules. Anyway, the website said that I should write things on them, some of them are questions, some are instructions and some are sentence starters, I omitted some of the suggestions they made though because as lovely as you are I don’t want to suck on your toes.”</p><p> Ivy expected a laugh at that but instead was met with silence. She looked over to Harley who was still looking down at the small wooden blocks between them. Ivy bit her lip, perhaps Frank was right, maybe this was too cheesy.</p><p>“I’m sorry, if this is too cheesy we can just watch a movie instead.” Harley said nothing, instead she picked up one of the blocks and handed it to Ivy before climbing on her lap and taking off her hat. Ivy raised a questioning eyebrow at her and Harley just gestured to the block in her hands.</p><p>
  <em>Kiss me</em>
</p><p>Ivy smiled and put the block down, reaching her hands up to cup Harley’s cheeks and pushing their lips together in a soft kiss. Harley wrapped her arms around Ivy’s shoulders and deepened the kiss, her tongue coming out to swipe at Ivy’s lower lip. Ivy opened her mouth to grant Harley access and without hesitation Harley’s tongue dipped into Ivy’s mouth seeking hers out. They kissed for several moments more before breathing became an issue and they separated with panting breaths.</p><p>“Wow, that’s a good game.” Harley laughed and kissed Ivy’s nose before responding.</p><p>“Yeah well, that’s not exactly how you’re supposta play, but I couldn’t help myself. Do ya want me to teach ya the real way?” Ivy nodded and Harley got off her lap.</p><p>Ivy watched as Harley carefully stacked up the wooden blocks and explained the rules to her. It was pretty straight forward, she would take a block from the stack, read and complete the command then place it on top, the only objective was to not knock the tower over. Harley gestured for her to go first and Ivy inspected the tower for a minute before pulling a center block from the bottom of the tower out. She turned the block in her hand and read what it said.</p><p>“What’s your middle name? … Wait, since I picked it do I answer the question? Or since I asked the question do you answer it?” Harley considered this for a moment before responding.</p><p>“I think for questions we should both answer ‘em, ‘cause I wanna know as much about ya as possible, but for the other stuff who ever picks it does it, is that okay?” Ivy nodded.</p><p>“Okay, that sounds fair, my middle name is Lillian.” Ivy placed the block on the top of the tower and waited for Harley to respond.</p><p>“Actually now that I think about it, maybe we shouldn’t both answer the questions.” Ivy raised an eyebrow at that.</p><p>“What? Why? Is it because of your middle name? Is it something embarrassing? Like Gertrude? Or … damn I can’t think of another embarrassing name. Please tell me, I’ll give you a cookie if you tell me.” Harley laughed and shook her head.</p><p>“Nope, I don’t want a cookie, but if ya give me a kiss I’ll tell ya.” Ivy smiled and leaned over to give Harley a kiss, but in the process she accidentally knocked the tower of blocks over. Harley laughed against her lips.</p><p>“Ya lost! An’ it’s Frances.” Ivy scoffed.</p><p>“I did not lose, I placed my block on top of the tower, what happened afterwards is completely not my fault. Also, Frances? That’s what I call Frank when I’m mad at him.” Harley laughed and started stacking up the blocks again.</p><p>“Yeah I know, that’s why I didn’t wanna tell ya.  My Ma picked it ‘cause Dirty dancing came out about a year before I was born an’ my grandma loved it so much that she made my Ma watch it about a billion times when she was pregnant with me an’ that’s Baby’s real name.” Ivy picked up some blocks and helped Harley stack them.</p><p>“I’ve never seen that movie so I don’t know who that is, but it was one of the ones that I downloaded.” Harley gasped.</p><p>“You’ve never seen Dirty Dancin’?! It’s a classic Red!” Ivy shrugged.</p><p>“Yes, well my father always said ‘Movies and television are nothing but fodder for the unproductive mind.’”</p><p>“Ugh, that guy was an fuckin’ asshole. We’re watchin’ that movie together, your dad’s ghost can suck my dick.” Ivy snickered and raised an eyebrow at that.</p><p>“Harley you don’t have a dick.” Harley waved a dismissive hand.</p><p>“Yeah I do it’s in my purse, though I guess technically it’s Frank’s since he bought it with that green goddess thingamajig, or maybe it’s yours? ‘Cause he bought it with your money? I dunno, point is he suuuuuuucked!” Ivy chuckled.</p><p>“He did… wait did you just say you have a dick in your purse?” Harley grinned widely at that.</p><p>“Yep.” Ivy was flabbergasted.</p><p>“I-wha-who-uh… I have so many questions I don’t even know where to begin.” Harley laughed.</p><p>“Maybe I can answer a few of ‘em for ya Pammy. Ya see sweet pea was hopin’ that Dr. Isley would wanna bang it out on their date.” Harley wiggled her eyebrows and Ivy blushed but laughed at the same time.</p><p>“Bang it out?” Harley nodded. “That’s really romantic Harley… but… did Frank tell you about the date beforehand? I’m going to kick his ass it was supposed to be a surprise, that asshole.” Ivy shot an angry look over her shoulder, but Frank was nowhere in sight, probably giving them privacy for their date either that or he was off trying to pollinate the calla lilies again.</p><p>Harley chuckled, “Nah ya don’t gotta be mad at him, I swear he didn’t tell me what we were doin’ for the date.”</p><p>A look of confusion took over Ivy’s face again, “So… how did you know that we’d be somewhere private? Like… what if I had taken you to dinner? Or a movie? Or Chuck E. Cheese?”</p><p>Harley burst out laughing at the last suggestion, and Ivy smiled at the look of surprise and joy on the other woman’s face.</p><p>After Harley settled down she answered Ivy, “First off, Chuck E. Cheese? Was that a Frank suggestion? ‘Cause it just don’t sound like some place you’d choose Red. Second, movie theaters and restaurants got bathrooms don’t they?” Harley wiggled her eyebrows and Ivy blushed again.</p><p>“Oh… um… right… well…” Ivy cleared her throat and looked down and gestured to the newly reconstructed tower of blocks between them. “Would you like to start us off?” Harley smirked at the subject change but let it slide and inspected the tower closely before pulling out a block.</p><p>“It’s a sentence starter: You’re really good at… everythin’! Aw this is hard um... okay let me think. Do I gotta pick just one thing? You’re good at so much stuff.” Ivy smiled at the compliment and shrugged.</p><p>“I don’t know, it’s up to you I guess.” Harley hummed in thought.</p><p>“Okay, you’re really good at makin’ breakfast, your pancakes are even betta than the ones at IHOP! You’re really good at fixin’ stuff, oof Red when you was workin’ in the yard, fixin’ that birdhouse, with those overalls an’ no shirt on, I nearly tackled ya.” Ivy blushed but moments later furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.</p><p>“Harley that was like… a week after you moved in.” Harley nodded.</p><p>“Yep, I told ya I had a crush on ya for a while. Now stop interruptin’ me, I’m not done tellin’ ya what you’re really good at.” Ivy chuckled and made a zipping motion over her mouth.</p><p>“You’re really good at science stuff obviously. You’re really good at writin’ cute sweet amazin’ letters. You’re really good at makin’ me smile, an’ laugh, an’ just makin’ me happy in general. You’re really good at cuddlin’, an’ kissin’ an’ makin’ me cum.” Ivy felt a rush of embarrassment and arousal flood her at the words and she bit her lip to keep from interrupting Harley.</p><p>“You’re really good at turnin’ me on an’ feelin’ me up an’… did I mention kissin’?” Harley climbed on top of Ivy’s lap at that and wiggled her eyebrows. Ivy laughed and leaned up to kiss Harley. They kissed for a few moments more before Harley climbed off of Ivy’s lap and moved to sit across from her again, and in doing so knocked the tower of blocks over again. Ivy put her hands up.</p><p>“It wasn’t me this time.” Harley scowled at her and Ivy just laughed.</p><p>“Okay, new rule, the next person to knock it over’s gotta do a dare.” Ivy shrugged.</p><p>“Okay, but please don’t make me run around the park naked again, the Black-eyed Susan’s were real jerks about it last time.”</p><p>“You tell those bitches I’ll give ‘em another black eye if they mess with ya again!” Harley shook her fist at a row of bushes at the base of the building and Ivy laughed.</p><p>“Those are plantain lilies babe, but I appreciate the sentiment.” Harley smiled brightly at her.</p><p>“I’d beat anyone up for ya Red, an’ yeah I promise I won’t make ya run across the park naked again.” Ivy smiled and grabbed Harley’s fist (which was for some reason still in the air) and kissed her knuckles.</p><p>“Thank you sweet pea, for both of those things, now would you like to start or shall I?” Harley gestured for Ivy to go and Ivy nodded and picked out another block. “Give a five minute massage.” Harley whooped in excitement and jumped up and walked around to sit in front of Ivy, being very careful not to knock the tower over this time.</p><p>“Get to it Red!” Ivy smiled at the other woman’s antics.</p><p>“Okay I will, but are we going to play while I massage you or do we do the massage then continue playing?”</p><p>“Naw, let’s keep playin’ you can stop massagin’ me when ya gotta take your turn.” Ivy nodded and started kneading Harley’s shoulders as she inspected the tower for which block she wanted to pull.</p><p>“Best vacation you ever had… we didn’t get to go on vacation a lot cause my dad was always schemin’ our money away, I guess we went to Atlantic City a bunch, but that was no fun ‘cause I was too young to gamble an’ I had to babysit my brother in the hotel…” Harley trailed off leaning her head forward as Ivy started circling her thumbs over the tense spots at the base of her neck.</p><p>“Damn that feels good Red… okay, okay, best vacation, I don’t think it counts as a vacation but I used ta love goin’ to Coney Island with my grandparents, it was loads of fun. They used to buy me as much cotton candy an’ zeppoles as I wanted an’ I got ta go the cyclone as many times as I wanted, an’ they gave me a buncha quarters to play in the arcades, then when the day was all done we’d watch the sunset on the board walk, then we’d eat dinner at Nathan’s before we fell asleep on the train ride back home, we didn’t stay overnight or nothin’ but I really loved that… does that count?” Ivy smiled and kissed Harley’s shoulder before responding.</p><p>“That absolutely counts sweet pea, and that sounds really nice. Your grandparents sound like really wonderful people.” Harley hummed.</p><p>“Yeah, they really are. I’m real glad that they were around when I was little. So what about you? Ya probably went to tons of places.” Ivy considered that for a moment.</p><p>“I’ve been to a lot of places, but I think like you my favorite vacation wasn’t really a vacation at all. My parents had a secluded cabin near Snoqualmie pass, it was mostly meant for skiing, but my dad never wanted to go there, he always wanted to go to Aspen or the French Alps to ski. My mom really liked that place though, and on a couple of occasions she would just pack us up and whisk me away in the middle of the night and take me up there, just the two of us. We didn’t do much really, but I liked being alone with her, I just… I liked being around her. I go there once in a while, it’s the only property of my parents’ that I kept, it reminds me too much of her to sell.”</p><p>It was years later, when Ivy was much older that she realized that those trips were her mother’s attempts to flee her father’s abuse, but in the end they always went back, she always went back. Ivy shook her head to free herself of the memory when Harley began to speak.</p><p>“That’s really sweet baby, I’m sure she loved those trips too.” Ivy hadn’t noticed her hands had stilled until Harley reached back and grabbed one pulling it forward to kiss her palm before intertwining their fingers. Ivy smiled and leaned forward placing a kiss at the base of Harley’s neck before reaching over to the tower and pulling another block.</p><p>“Okay this game is rigged. Give a foot massage.” Harley cackled and spun around leaning her back on the ledge of the roof and placing her feet on Ivy’s lap.</p><p>“I love this game, get to it Red.” Ivy rolled her eyes but smiled as she removed Harley’s boots and socks placing them neatly on the side of the blanket. Ivy worked her hands over the soles of Harley’s feet as Harley reached over to pull another block, when Ivy saw the devilish grin on Harley’s face she groaned. This game was out to get her.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Dare.” Harley wiggled her eyebrows and Ivy had to laugh.</p><p>“Okay fine, but remember you promised not to make me run around naked.” Harley pouted at Ivy and Ivy shook her head. “Nope, you promised!” Harley huffed but nodded.</p><p>“Okay, okay I won’t make ya run around naked.” Harley thought for a moment and her eyes lit up with glee. Ivy looked at her warily.</p><p>“I’m not sure I like that expression… what is it?”</p><p>“I dare ya to take off one piece of clothin’ BUT socks an’ shoes don’t count.” Ivy looked down at her dress then back up at Harley who was grinning like the Cheshire cat.</p><p>“Harley the only thing I’m wearing is this dress, and you said you wouldn’t make me get naked.”</p><p>“Nope, I said I wouldn’t make ya run around naked, there’s a difference an’ plus ya got underwear on dontcha Pammy?” Ivy scowled at that but stood up anyway, two could play at this game. Ivy carefully bent over and took off her shoes then reached under her dress and very slowly shimmied out of her panties before standing just as slowly and flinging them at Harley who sat with her jaw nearly on her lap at the display. Ivy chuckled at Harley’s slack jaw expression before gingerly tucking her dress beneath her and sitting back down.</p><p>“Holy shit Ives you gotta be the hottest person on the fuckin’ planet!” Ivy laughed and leaned forward placing a soft kiss on Harley’s lips before speaking.</p><p>“No babe, that’s definitely you.” Ivy pulled another block from the tower and showed it to Harley who smiled brightly and patted her lap.</p><p>“Come on Pammy, block says ya gotta sit on my lap, ya gotta do what the block says, rules is rules.” Ivy rolled her eyes but got up and sat sideways across Harley’s legs so she could still see Harley but also keep her dress modestly draped over her lap. “Have I mentioned how much I love this game?”</p><p>“You have, now pull a block Quinzel.” Harley moved to inspect the now much less sturdy tower carefully, as she did so she placed a hand on Ivy’s thigh to steady herself. The hand however very quickly found itself in a much less innocent position and Ivy cleared her throat. Harley looked up at her, her most innocent expression carefully fixed on her face.</p><p>“What’s the matter baby? Ya want me to get ya some water from the cooler?” Ivy arched an eyebrow at her.</p><p>“I want you to tell me what your hand is doing.” Harley gave her a clueless expression and Ivy had to stifle a laugh.</p><p>“This hand? It’s reachin’ ta get ya a water from the cooler.” Ivy laughed as Harley did just that, she reached into the cooler and removed one of the metal tumblers of water and handed it to Ivy sweetly. “See, ‘cause I care about ya Pam-a-lamb, wouldn’t want ya to get dehydrated.” As she spoke Harley’s other hand inched closer and closer to the apex of Ivy’s thighs.</p><p>“Thank you Harley, I appreciate your concern. But I was talking about your other hand.” Harley cocked her head to the side.</p><p>“What other hand?” Ivy poked the hand in question and gave Harley a pointed look. “Ooooh that hand, it’s just a little cold Pammy, I thought my lil daffodil could keep it warm. Ya don’t mind do ya?” As she said the words Harley moved her hand to cup Ivy’s center lightly.</p><p>Ivy laughed again, it was a happy twinkling sound that came from deep within her. It was all so strange, just a day ago Ivy would have never dreamed of this scenario, Harley playfully trying to feel her up as they sat huddled together on a romantic rooftop date. It all felt so unreal and so wonderful that Ivy barely resisted the urge to pinch herself. Harley had not only returned her feelings, but she desired Ivy, in a wild and unabashed way. Harley Quinn, gorgeous, outgoing, thrill-seeking, charming Harley Quinn desired Ivy. Dorky, awkward, shut-in Ivy, it made absolutely no sense to her, but she reveled in it just the same.</p><p>Ivy cupped Harley’s face in her hands and pulled her in for a soft sweet kiss before pulling away and looking deeply into the dazzling blue irises looking back at her, she paused for a moment stroking her thumbs across Harley’s jawline, wondering how she could be so lucky.</p><p>“Harley?”</p><p>“Yeah baby?”</p><p>“I think I’m falling for you.” There was a play of emotions that ran across Harley’s face at Ivy’s words, surprise that turned to confusion, hopefulness that turned to wonder and finally complete and utter joy. Ivy watched Harley’s expressive features with some amusement as the words seemed to settle against the blonde and take shelter in her chest. Harley wrapped her arms around Ivy’s waist and pulled her impossibly closer, pushing their lips together in a passionate and feverish kiss, only pulling away when both women were out of breath. Harley pushed her head into the crook of Ivy’s neck, her soft pants ghosting over Ivy’s skin.</p><p>“Pammy?”</p><p>“Yes sweet pea?”</p><p>“I know I’m fallin’ for ya.” Ivy smiled at that, pulling one of Harley’s hands from her waist and placing soft kisses on each of her fingertips before intertwining their fingers. Ivy leaned down and touched her lips to the soft spot just below Harley’s ear before whispering to her.</p><p>“Show me baby.” As she said the words she took their intertwined hands and pushed them under the hem of her dress, releasing Harley’s hand as she did so. Ivy watched as a slow grin spread over Harley’s face and chuckled when Harley looked up at her and wiggled her eyebrows in response.</p><p>“With pleasure sweetheart.” To Ivy’s surprise Harley’s hand didn’t immediately go back to where it was, instead Harley stroked gentle intricate patterns up and down Ivy’s thighs as she planted barely there kisses on Ivy’s neck.</p><p>Ivy felt her arousal building in her alongside something else blossoming inside her, something graceful and bewitching that if she spared a moment to think about she’d find a name for. But she had no moments to spare because Harley’s lips ghosted along her earlobe and her thoughts were lost to the night.</p><p>“You’re so fuckin’ beautiful Pammy, ya feel so soft n’ so good, I never wanna stop touchin’ ya.” As Harley spoke the words her hand finally pressed where Ivy needed it most and her hips bucked up of their own volition. Harley slowly slid her fingers through Ivy’s folds, pressing firmly on Ivy’s sensitive clit before removing her hand and bringing it up to her mouth. Ivy watched with lustful eyes as Harley licked her fingers clean, humming with appreciation. “You taste amazin’ Ives, I could eat ya all day long.”</p><p>Ivy who would have normally flushed, embarrassed by such words could find no will to be anything but wanton in that moment. She crushed her lips to Harleys in a desperate kiss. Harley grunted but returned the kiss enthusiastically. As they kissed Harley’s hand made its way up her dress again, gently nudging her knees apart, Ivy complied and allowed her legs to bow, feeling a gentle night breeze on her molten flesh. Harley pulled her lips from Ivy’s to watch as her fingers once again slid through Ivy’s wet folds, she did this several more times seemingly mesmerized by the sight.</p><p>“mmm such a pretty pussy, so wet for me.” Ivy whimpered and trembled at the words and Harley responded by twirling her thumb in soft loose circles around Ivy’s clit. Ivy’s eyes fluttered closed as she bit her lip at the sensation. “Does that feel good baby?” Ivy nodded unable to get the words out. Harley traced her other hand over the strap of Ivy’s dress. “Pull this down for me sweetie.”</p><p>Ivy pushed the dress off her shoulders and her nipples seemed to harden under Harley’s watchful gaze. “So fuckin’ gorgeous.” The words left Harley’s lips as a reverent whisper, almost as if she’d been speaking to herself. Harley’s tongue soon swooped over Ivy’s nipple matching the twirling motion of her thumb, Ivy pushed her hand into Harley’s hair holding her tightly to her breast. Harley hummed against her, kissing more fervently across Ivy’s breasts as her finger moved more firmly against her clit. Ivy let out a surprised moan at the quick shift in pace and moved her hips in time with Harley’s finger.</p><p>By the time Harley removed her lips from Ivy’s breasts she had kissed, licked, sucked and bit them so thoroughly that Ivy was sure she’d have marks across her chest for days. Ivy however could care less because in that moment Harley was pushing a long talented finger inside of her. “Fuck baby, I love the way your pussy feels around my finger. It’s so fuckin’ tight, an’ wet, ya feel incredible Pammy.” Harley emphasized each word with a slow thrust, curling her finger up as she pulled out to rub along Ivy’s sensitive walls. Ivy couldn’t take it anymore, she needed more.</p><p>“Harley… please…” Her voice was a quivering whimper but she could give a fuck less if it meant that Harley went faster. Harley pressed a soft kiss to her lips before responding.</p><p>“Tell me what ya need love.”</p><p>“Faster, please.” As soon as the words left her lips Harley pistoned her finger inside of Ivy, the heel of her hand slamming into Ivy’s clit with each thrust. Ivy matched each of Harley’s thrusts with her own the lewd sound of wet flesh slapping together was drowned out only by the sound of her own moaning. Harley, spurred on by her moans moved her lips to Ivy’s ear, whispering encouragements as she pushed harder and faster into Ivy.</p><p>“You’re so fuckin’ sexy baby, you’re doin’ so good, cum for me sweetie.” Ivy felt her orgasm crash into her gasping Harley’s name. Her body arched muscles taut as she shook with the final tremors of it. Harley kissed her neck gently holding her closely as she came down. “You’re such a sweet beautiful girl, I got ya baby.” Ivy hummed contentedly turning her head to pull Harley into a gentle kiss. When they pulled away Harley smiled brightly at Ivy before speaking.</p><p>“So how’d I do Pammy? Did I show ya that I’m fallin’ for ya? ‘Cause I don’t mind tryin’ again, ya know what they say practice makes perfect.” Harley wiggled her finger inside of Ivy as if to prove her willingness and Ivy bit her lip grabbing Harley’s hand and stilling it.</p><p>“Your demonstration was perfect Harley, but I think now I have to show you a thing or two.” Ivy laughed as Harley quickly pulled off her shirt and bra and flung them off the side of the roof.</p><p>“I’m ready for ya Dr. Isley!” Ivy hummed contentedly, tracing her fingers down Harley’s neck to her shoulder and finally dancing softly across Harley’s breasts. Goosebumps spread over Harley’s skin in the wake of Ivy’s touch and Ivy smirked before pinching Harley’s pink nipple between her fingers softly. Harley moaned and pushed her chest up towards Ivy’s hand, Ivy dipped her head down and placed a soft kiss on the nipple before standing up. Harley’s eyes shot open and she whined at the loss of contact. “Paaaammy!”</p><p>Ivy chuckled at the childlike whine before responding in a firm but gentle tone, “Dr. Isley.” Ivy watched as a look of carnal desire passed over Harley’s face.</p><p>At first Ivy had been embarrassed by how completely she had given in to her base passions, they were after all very different to how she was outside of the bedroom. But something about Harley’s teasing, about her clear and eager thirst for Ivy, had stirred something up in Ivy, had made her feel a bit more like her old self, more confident, more demanding, more lascivious. Ivy supposed that this probably had a lot to do with the fact that she hadn’t been intimate with anyone in at least three years, but Ivy knew it was more than that. Harley had made her feel confident, she made her feel safe and secure, Ivy knew deep down in her core that Harley would never judge her for her desires, and Ivy felt free to express those desires with Harley.</p><p>Ivy was shaken from her thoughts when Harley responded, “Dr. Isley.” Ivy nodded in appreciation before stripping off her dress completely. Harley watched with darkened eyes as Ivy sat in the center of the blanket, surrounded by pillows. Ivy crooked a finger at her and beckoned her closer. Harley torpedoed over to her in response plopping herself on Ivy’s lap and Ivy chuckled at her eagerness.</p><p>Ivy stroked her hands down Harley’s back kissing her shoulder gently before speaking, “Tell me what you want sweet pea.” Harley ground down on Ivy’s lap, a mischievous grin on her face as she shook her head no.</p><p>“No?” Ivy quirked her eyebrow as she waited for Harley’s response.  Harley’s grin widened but she said nothing. Ivy shrugged in response, gesturing over to the tower of blocks that was somehow unbelievably still standing. “Okay, well it’s your turn.” Harley pouted before kicking her foot out and knocking the tower over, shooting Ivy a defiant glance. Ivy hesitated, she knew what she wanted to do in response to Harley’s actions, but she wasn’t sure what the other woman wanted, she wasn’t sure if this was a line that could be crossed.</p><p>Harley, noticing her hesitation, leaned forward placing a soft kiss on Ivy’s neck before whispering in her ear, “I’m bein’ bad Dr. Isley, ain’t ya gonna spank me for bein’ bad?” Ivy groaned, a new rush of arousal crashing over her at the words.</p><p>Ivy ran her hands over Harley’s ass, squeezing it gently before responding, “Is that what you want sweet pea?” Harley nodded and Ivy gave her ass a sharp experimental slap before speaking, “You have to tell me sweet pea.”</p><p>“I want ya to spank me Dr. Isley.” Ivy hummed in approval, unwrapping herself from Harley, leaning back on the heels of her hands and arching an eyebrow at Harley. Harley squealed in delight and quickly scrambled up and laid across Ivy’s lap, Ivy again chuckled at the eagerness of the other woman.</p><p>Ivy grabbed a pillow from the side and pushed it towards Harley, “lean on this sweet pea, I don’t want you to hurt your back.” Ivy watched as Harley pushed the pillow into a comfortable position, waiting for her to settle before rubbing a hand across Harley’s clothed ass. Ivy slid her fingers into the tear in Harley’s jeans that revealed the curve of Harley’s ass. Ivy pinched the pale flesh there reveling in the aroused gasp that fell from Harley’s lips in response. Ivy rubbed soothing circles over the flesh as she considered her next move.</p><p>Ivy leaned down, kissing the cusp of Harley’s ear gently before whispering to her, “I want to rip these jeans off of you and punish you for being bad, is that what you want sweet pea?” Harley moaned at her words and nodded eagerly, Ivy pinched her flesh again.</p><p>“Yes, fuck yes, that’s what I want Dr. Isley, rip my fuckin’ pants in half, please.” Ivy grinned and grasped the jean material in her hands pulling it apart with a satisfying rip. Ivy moaned at the sight revealed to her, thinking that perhaps Harley had planned this when she saw that the other woman wasn’t wearing any underwear.</p><p>Ivy rubbed her hand over Harley’s pale flesh before giving it a sharp slap, hard enough to make the flesh pinken but not hard enough to leave a bruise, she didn’t want to hurt Harley after all. Ivy repeated the motion several times, watching as Harley ground against her lap. Ivy trailed her hand down and dipped her finger into Harley’s wet folds. “Are you enjoying this sweet pea?” Harley pushed her hips back against Ivy’s finger.</p><p>“Fuck yes, Dr. Isley. It feels so fuckin’ good.” Ivy smiled running her finger through Harley’s glistening folds a couple of times enjoying the moans falling out of Harley’s mouth for a moment before pulling away. As expected Harley whined at the loss and Ivy chuckled.</p><p>“You have to ask for what you want sweet pea.”</p><p>“Fuck that’s sexy,” it left Harley’s mouth unbidden and Ivy smirked waiting for her to continue. “…please finger me until I cum Dr. Isley.”</p><p>Ivy pushed her hand back between Harley’s legs, using two fingers to lightly pinch and roll her clit between them for a moment as a rush of expletives tumbled out of Harley’s mouth. Ivy pulled them away and quickly pushed them into Harley, using her other hand to push Harley’s hips down against her lap. Harley ground against her lap wantonly as Ivy pushed her fingers in and out of her at a rapid fire pace. It took only moments for Harley to stiffen, her walls tightening around Ivy’s fingers as she screamed out Ivy’s name. Ivy pumped her fingers slower, allowing Harley to ride out her orgasm before pulling them out and licking them clean. Ivy rubbed a gentle hand over Harley’s back, massaging the sweaty flesh as the other woman came down from her high.</p><p>“You okay peanut?”</p><p>Ivy could almost hear the smile on Harley’s face when she responded, “mmm yeah Pammy, that was amazin’, I think I’m gonna be bad more often.” Ivy chuckled and Harley rolled off of her lap, leaning her head on her elbow and wiggling her eyebrows at Ivy in one smooth motion.</p><p>Ivy raised an eyebrow in question, “What does that look mean?”</p><p>“It means, since Dr. Isley showed already me she was fallin’ for me, maybe now Pammy could do some demonstratin’ too.” Ivy laughed and nodded.</p><p>“Absolutely, come here.” Harley shook her head and shot up to her feet quickly. Ivy watched curiously as the other woman walked around the rooftop clearly looking for something. “Harls what are you looking for?”</p><p>“I know I had-ah ha! Here it is!” Harley held up her purse in victory and Ivy shot her a confused look before Harley reached in and pulled out a green strap on. Harley skipped over to Ivy and plopped down next to her throwing the item on Ivy’s lap.</p><p>“Jesus Harley, that thing is huge, are you sure?” Harley worried her lip between her teeth for a moment before responding.</p><p>“I mean… it’s a lot bigger than I’m used ta, but I trust ya, an’ if ya go slow I think it’ll be allright.” Ivy nodded, still feeling a little hesitant.</p><p>“Okay… but if it hurts we’re stopping, I don’t want to hurt you Harley.” Harley smiled and placed a soft gentle kiss on Ivy’s lips.</p><p>“I know ya don’t Pammy, that’s why I trust ya.” Ivy felt pride bloom in her chest at that, Harley trusted her, it wasn’t exactly new information to Ivy, but she still liked hearing it all the same.</p><p>“Okay, will you help me figure this thing out?” Ivy gestured towards the series of straps and Harley giggled.</p><p>“Yes indeedy.” Ivy stood and turned the item around in her hands for a while trying to figure out which way was up, apparently the people at ecoeroticism.com didn’t believe in the old adage ‘less is more’, because there were way more straps than necessary.</p><p>Harley stood as well and inspected it for a moment before turning it and nodding to herself, “I think it’s this way.” Ivy nodded and moved to slip her legs through the holes only to realize that that definitely wasn’t the right way. Both women looked down at the green plastic bouncing against Ivy’s leg. “It looks like your knee grew a nose.”</p><p>Ivy tried to bite back a laugh but couldn’t and soon both women were wrapped up in a fit of giggles. Stopping and catching their breath only to look back at it and fall into another fit of laughter. After trying several other ways they finally gave up and decided to Google instructions. The website had a step by step set of instructions, because apparently they weren’t the only ones who had issues with all the extraneous straps.</p><p>“K, it says ya gotta pull strap D through slot A.”</p><p>“Wait which one is slot A?” Harley turned her head to the side as she looked at the diagram.</p><p>“I think it’s the one by your hip.”</p><p>“Okay, got it, what next?”</p><p>“Now ya gotta take flap 2 and fold it over flap 4.”</p><p>“There are letters and numbers?”</p><p>“Yeah, here I got it.” Harley reached over and adjusted the material. By the time the two women had finished going through the series of complicated steps to secure the strap on they were both glistening with sweat. Ivy huffed and sat down.</p><p>“Water break?” Harley nodded and grabbed two tumblers from the cooler, passing one to Ivy as they drank in silence, the only sound their greedy gulps. Harley put down her tumbler and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand before gesturing to the green phallus jutting out from between Ivy’s legs. “Jolly green betta be worth the trouble.”</p><p>Ivy finished her own bottle of water before shooting Harley a questioning glance, “Jolly green?”</p><p>“Yeah, yunno, like the jolly green giant?” Harley stood up and placed her hands on her hips reminiscent of the annoying way that Superman liked to stand. She dropped her voice several octaves, “Ho, Ho, Ho,” then in a sing song voice, “Green giant.” Ivy was still so confused but couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled out of her lips.</p><p>“What the fuck is that?” Harley joined in on the laughter before grabbing the laptop and plopping down next to Ivy as she searched on Waynetube for what she wanted. She opened a video and Ivy watched as a giant green man talked to small children about eating vegetables, then at the end a jingle played that sounded almost exactly like what Harley had done moments earlier.</p><p>“Ya see, Jolly Green Giant.” Ivy chuckled.</p><p>“Well I can’t deny that it’s a fitting name.” Harley nodded, putting the laptop down and climbing on Ivy’s lap and rocking her hips against the item in question.</p><p>“Yep, it’s perfect, just like those lips,” Harley leaned down and captured Ivy’s lips with her own.</p><p>Ivy smiled into the kiss and wrapped her arms around Harley’s waist as they continued to press increasingly passionate kisses against each other’s lips. Ivy gently pushed Harley onto her back, making sure the other woman was comfortable before reaching for the button of her jeans. Ivy pulled off the tattered remains of Harley’s pants placing soft kisses down her legs as she pulled them down.</p><p>Ivy kissed back up Harley’s body, pulling Harley into another passionate kiss as her hand made its way down her body and between her legs. Ivy stroked over Harley’s already soaked center for a moment before pushing two fingers inside, Harley ripped her lips from Ivy’s in a moan. “Oh fuck Pammy, that feels so good baby.”</p><p>Ivy smiled and kissed down to Harley’s neck sucking the sensitive flesh there as she scissored her fingers inside of Harley, gently stretching her before lining up a third finger. Ivy paused and looked at Harley in question, and Harley nodded. Ivy eased the third finger inside of Harley, stilling for a moment and swiping her thumb over Harley’s clit as the other woman adjusted. “Keep goin’ baby, it feels so fuckin’ good Pammy.”</p><p>Ivy nodded and continued her motions, by the time she had pushed a fourth finger into Harley, the blonde was a beautiful quivering mess beneath her. Ivy pulled her fingers out of Harley who whined in response until she saw Ivy take position between her legs. “Are you ready peanut?”</p><p>Harley nodded and spread her legs wider for Ivy. Ivy settled between them and slowly pushed the green phallus inside of Harley, pausing and letting Harley adjust as she went. When Harley had taken it to the hilt, Ivy waited, looking down at where their bodies met and moaning at the sight.  She looked up to meet Harley’s have lidded eyes, “Are you okay?”</p><p>Harley nodded, “Yeah, c’mere.” Ivy leaned down, her whole body pressed flush against Harley’s and Harley wrapped her arms around Ivy’s neck kissing her slowly. Ivy returned the gentle kiss as Harley started to rock against her. They started a slow rhythm panting against each other’s lips as Ivy rocked her hips against Harley. Each push inwards had the soft insert on the inside of the harness rub at Ivy’s clit, and she could feel her arousal build with each slow thrust.  </p><p>Ivy knit her eyebrows in concentration as she tried to keep a steady rhythm. Ivy looked between them as she pulled her hips back further, the head of the strap on almost coming out of Harley before she pushed back down. Harley moaned her hands moving to Ivy’s ass and squeezing. “Fuck Pammy, do that again baby.” Ivy nodded and repeated the motion. “Oh god, faster baby, fuck me faster.”</p><p>Ivy quickened her pace and Harley’s sweet moans filled the air around them. Soon enough Ivy was thrusting faster and faster into Harley, her own orgasm building as her moans mixed with Harley’s. Harley’s nails raked down Ivy’s back as she met each of Ivy’s thrusts by slamming her hips down. Ivy grunted knowing she wasn’t going to last much longer, she reached down between them and rubbed rough circles over Harley’s swollen clit and Harley’s hips stuttered, a guttural moan ripping from her lips as she came. Ivy continued rocking her hips her own orgasm washing over her only moments later.</p><p>Ivy collapsed against Harley as she struggled to catch her breath. Harley panted praises against her ear as they lay together, “You did such a good job baby, that was amazin’. You’re so fuckin’ sexy Pammy.” Ivy smiled and kissed Harley gently before getting off of her and laying on her back gesturing for Harley to snuggle against her.</p><p>“So, how was that demonstration?” Harley giggled, kissing Ivy before responding.</p><p>“It was so good, that I think I’m gonna hafta give you another one later.” Ivy chuckled, squeezing Harley against her gently.</p><p>“That sounds good peanut, but maybe after another water break… and some snacks.”</p><p>By the end of the night the two were so exhausted from their demonstrations that they didn’t even bother to go back into the house, choosing instead to sleep on the roof under the stars. It was, in Ivy’s opinion, the best first date ever. (And if she had asked, Harley would have agreed wholeheartedly.)</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If you're wondering what jingle Harley is talking about:<br/><a>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1m4mykKnGjw</a></p><p>Also, I know Deadpool isn't in the DCU, but that's who I immediately thought of when I wrote "myfatassassin" as a twitter handle, lol.</p><p>Speaking of the DCU, I am no expert on it, I was a Marvel girl growing up (Storm was my very first crush ever, don't judge.) so can anyone who is more of an expert on the DCU give me a wlw couple that either live in gotham or that both Ivy/Harley would be aware of? It's for like a tiny detail in my other fic, but I'll be annoyed if I can't get it right. </p><p>As always, thanks for reading and stay well.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Side Effects May Include…</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger Warning: Graphic description of past abuse and rape. Implied suicide attempt. This one is bad, honestly, and if you want to skip it, it's from the double lines all the way to the end. </p><p>I was going to write it as a flashback, but I honestly couldn't stomach it. I truly don't know whether to respect or fear authors who can write those kinds of things in more graphic detail, because I couldn't do it. </p><p>Sorry guys.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">Side Effects May Include…</span>
</p><p>Harley giggled and held tightly onto Ivy’s back as Ivy sped through the park. Harley was wrapped up in a blanket as Ivy gave her a piggy back ride back to the house. Since Harley had decided to throw her clothes off the side of the roof last night, this morning she had found herself in a bit of a predicament. Ivy had chuckled and rolled her eyes light heartedly at Harley, but had insisted that she wrap herself up when they made their way across the park. (“Seriously Harley, those black-eyed susans are bitches.”) Harley had insisted that she couldn’t walk wrapped up in so much cloth, so they made a compromise, and Harley whooped excitedly as Ivy’s long legs bounded quickly through the park.</p><p>Harley giggled with glee as Ivy marched through the house, up the stairs and into Harley’s room before plopping down on Harley’s bed. “All right Quinzel last stop, time to pay the fare.” Harley unlatched herself from Ivy’s back before dropping the blanket to the floor and giving Ivy a seductive look.</p><p>“And what exactly is the fare Dr.Isley?” Ivy blushed but couldn’t rip her eyes away from Harley’s body. Harley chuckled and pressed a finger under Ivy’s chin pushing it up gently. “My eyes are up here doctor.” Ivy smiled sheepishly.</p><p>“Sorry, it’s just… well, I’m not sure if you realize this or not, but you are the single most attractive person in the world. Are you aware of that?” Harley giggled and placed a soft kiss on Ivy’s lips.</p><p>“And you are the sweetest person in the world. And ya don’t have to say sorry baby, you can look at my tits any time ya want.” Ivy blushed again and Harley couldn’t help herself, she tackled Ivy to the bed, laying on top of her and snuggling into her shoulder. Ivy wrapped her arms around Harley and placed a kiss on the top of her head.</p><p>“So does this mean you don’t want me to make you breakfast?” Harley shook her head.</p><p>“Nope, I just wanna cuddle ya, we can eat cereal later.” Ivy squeezed Harley gently in response and they lay together in contented silence for several minutes before Ivy spoke again.</p><p>“Harley?” Harley stifled a yawn before answering.</p><p>“Yeah hot stuff?”</p><p>“Why do you have all of your money stacked up in the center of your room?” Harley looked over at the giant stack of money Ivy was referring to before shrugging.</p><p>“I dunno, what else am I supposta do with it?”</p><p>“There are these revolutionary new places called banks, I’m not sure if you’ve heard of them.” Harley rolled her eyes and poked Ivy in the stomach.</p><p>“Wise ass. I ain’t puttin’ my money in no bank, puttin’ your money in a bank in Gotham is like askin’ ta lose it.” Ivy chuckled.</p><p>“Fair point. But I meant like another bank, you could set up an offshore account, for some reason there aren’t as many super villains outside of Gotham, and even less outside of the United States, a lot less bank robberies.” Harley hummed in thought at that.</p><p>“That’s weird ain’t it? Ya think people from Gotham are just more violent? Also, have ya ever noticed how many villains got doctorates?”</p><p>“Yes! Why is that?! Honestly it probably says something about the American education system that so many doctors turn to a life of crime.” Harley nodded.</p><p>“Seriously, I wonder if any sociologists ever bothered lookin’ into that. I’d read that dissertation.” Ivy rubbed Harley’s arms as she spoke.</p><p>“So would I, though honestly sociology is probably closer to your area of expertise than mine, you’d probably have to explain a lot of it to me. Also, are you cold? You have goose bumps all over your arms.” Harley snuggled closer to Ivy.</p><p>“Hmm, explainin’ complicated sociology journals to ya? I can do that, but only if ya call me Professor Quinzel.” Harley raised her head so she could wiggle her eyebrows at Ivy who laughed in response. “And yeah, I’m a lil cold, but I don’t wanna move.” Harley squeaked in surprise as Ivy gripped her tightly and spun them on the bed so that Ivy was lying on top of Harley.</p><p>“Warmer Professor Quinzel?” Ivy wiggled her eyebrows at Harley and Harley giggled.</p><p>“Much warmer Dr. Isley.” Harley leaned up and pulled Ivy into a slow soft kiss, Ivy responded to the kiss eagerly. After they pulled away Ivy adjusted their position so that Harley was comfortably lying on a pillow and Ivy was only putting half her weight on Harley, Harley didn’t mind being completely under Ivy but she appreciated the other woman’s thoughtfulness nonetheless. Ivy pulled the blanket from the floor and draped it over them to make sure Harley was warm.</p><p>“Thank you baby.” Ivy smiled brightly at Harley and Harley pecked her lips. “Hey Ives?” Ivy raised an eyebrow in question.</p><p>“Yes Harley?”</p><p>“If ya get one of them offshore accounts, does it make it easier to buy stuff?” Ivy nodded.</p><p>“I suppose so, wiring large sums of money for a big purchase is certainly safer and quicker than courier or any other means. Why? Are you saving for a big purchase?” Harley nodded excitedly at that.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m gonna get a boat!” Ivy raised an eyebrow at that.</p><p>“You’re going to buy a boat?” Harley nodded.</p><p>“Yep.”</p><p>“Harley, why would you buy a boat?” Harley frowned.</p><p>“Whaddya mean? Cause boats are fun?” Ivy shook her head.</p><p>“No, sorry what I meant was, why wouldn’t you just steal one?” Harley chuckled.</p><p>“I like where your heads at Red, but I got a real specific vision in mind for my boat, it’s gonna be custom made. Ya wanna see it?” Ivy nodded but before she could say anything Harley jumped off the bed and raced downstairs to grab Ivy’s laptop. When Harley skidded back into the room Ivy was perched up on her elbows smiling at Harley.</p><p>“Well that was nice to watch.” Harley laughed as she climbed back onto the bed with Ivy, opening the laptop and pulling up her email.</p><p>“I think you’re gettin’ more an’ more perverted Pammy.” Ivy shrugged.</p><p>“Only for you sweet pea. Now let me see your boat, and that wasn’t a euphemism… though if you want to show me-“ Harley slapped Ivy’s arm lightly.</p><p>“Be good, I wanna show ya this.” Ivy nodded.</p><p>“Okay, I’ll behave, please continue.” Harley pulled up several emails and some webpages before placing the laptop between them.</p><p>“Okay so here it is, it’s called the Soliloquy, it’s a yacht that uses solar, wind an’ some kinda water power to move through the ocean, you can sail all around the world without makin’ any emissions. An’ I was emailin’ this Dutch guy, Boy min, an’ he has this boat that picks up garbage from the water as it sails, so I says to him, listen buddy, I got loads of money, hows about we hook up my yacht with one of them doohickies that cleans up the water. An’ at first he was all ‘blah blah blah, not for commercial use, blah, blah, blah,’ but then I tell him bout my best friend Poison Ivy who’s all about the environment an’ whatnot an’ he was like ‘oh shit, I’ll do that shit for Poison Ivy, she’s fuckin’ awesome.’ Your name’s got some serious pull with these environmental types babe. So now alls I gotta do is buy the boat, an’ my buddy Boy min will hook it up fer me. Oh! An’ I got a body shop ta draw up some designs for a custom paint job fer my baby, I dunno what I’m gonna call her yet, maybe I’ll call her my lil daffodil, after the best place I ever had the pleasure of bein’ inside.”</p><p>Harley smiled brightly at Ivy, but when she looked at the other woman’s expression she faltered, she couldn’t exactly tell what the expression meant but it certainly wasn’t the expression of a woman who was super excited to sail around the world with her new girlfriend. Had she missed something? Harley had been sure that she had chosen the most environmentally friendly option, but maybe there was something big that she was overlooking, she wasn’t an expert on this stuff after all.</p><p>“I’m sorry Ives, did I miss somethin’? I thought I got everyth-“ Before Harley could finish Ivy grabbed her and slammed their lips together. Harley grunted in surprise but quickly adjusted and started to kiss Ivy back with as much fervor as she was getting. When Ivy pulled away Harley felt a little dazed and she knew she had a goofy smile on her face. “Wow that was a helluva kiss Pammy! Ya knocked my socks off, well ya woulda if I was wearin’ any.”</p><p>“I love you.” Harley’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “I’m sorry, I know that it’s probably way too early to say that, but fucking shit if I don’t mean it Harleen. You are honestly the most thoughtful, kind, caring, sweet, sexy, amazing, fun, smart, wonderful fucking person on the whole fucking planet and shit Harley I love you. I’m sorry for cursing so much but fuck.” Harley felt her mouth split into the widest smile and she quickly pushed the laptop to the side as she jumped on Ivy and pinned her to the bed.</p><p>“Do ya mean it Pammy? For real?” Ivy smiled warmly at her and nodded. Harley felt a warm rush of happiness run through her and she couldn’t help herself, she let out an excited squeal before grabbing Ivy’s face in her hands and passionately pushing their lips together. Harley felt Ivy chuckle against her lips, before she kissed back. When they separated Harley finally spoke, “In case ya didn’t get it from all that, I love you too Pammy.”</p><p>Ivy smiled brightly at Harley and she wrapped her arms around Harley in a tight embrace, Harley happily snuggled into Ivy’s arms. “Wouldja tell me again Ives?” Ivy kissed Harleys forehead before speaking.</p><p>“I love you Harleen Quinzel.” Harley sighed happily. Ivy loved her, it felt like a dream. The smartest, sweetest, most beautiful woman Harley had ever met loved her. It didn’t make any kind of sense to Harley, but she was glad of it either way.</p><p>“Are ya just sayin’ that so I’ll let ya ride on my boat?” Ivy shook with laughter underneath her and Harley smiled.</p><p>“I’m really not Harley, though I do really want to ride on your boat. But please don’t name it after my vagina.” Harley giggled.</p><p>“Aww come on Pammy, it’s the happiest place on earth.” Ivy chuckled.</p><p>“That’s Disney World baby.” Harley shook her head adamantly.</p><p>“Fuck that, the Magic Kingdom ain’t got nothin’ on your magic kingdom.” Ivy groaned.</p><p>“Oh my God, please don’t start calling it ‘your magic kingdom’ you can name your boat after my vagina if you promise not to call my vagina a kingdom. That’s just a rude descriptor, it’s not that big.” Harley let out a peal of laughter.</p><p>“I’m sorry baby, you’re right, it isn’t that big. As a matter of fact, it’s nice an’ tight, an’ the perfect size for this lil guy.” Harley waggled her finger at Ivy and Ivy blushed.</p><p>“You’re absolutely incorrigible.” Harley smiled.</p><p>“Yep, an’ ya love me anyway.” Ivy rolled her eyes but couldn’t wipe the smile off of her face.</p><p>“I really do.”</p><hr/><p>“Why’s it called formula 535 anyways? Is that your favorite number?” Harley asked as she twirled the vial of the formula in her hand, watching the green liquid slosh from side to side with some fascination. Ivy’s hand came to cover hers stilling her motion.</p><p>“Please stop twirling it like that, I spent a substantial amount of time making it and really don’t want you to drop it.” Harley blushed and nodded setting the vial down on the counter.</p><p>“Sorry Red.” Ivy smiled gently at her.</p><p>“It’s okay baby, as for your question, no it’s not my favorite number. 535 was just the latest iteration of the formula I made, I didn’t bother giving it a name, though I suppose if you wanted to name it you could, seeing as how you’re the only one I’m giving it to.” Harley’s grin split her face and she pulled Ivy in for a kiss before responding.</p><p>“What about the Quindratic Formula? Oooh Or Harley’s Magic Muscle Juice? OH! Or Harley’s Pamtastic Potion?” Ivy’s eyes were alight with laughter as Harley kept spouting out more and more names.</p><p>“Or… hmm I think I gotta make a list an’ then choose the best one. An’ what do ya mean it’s the latest iteration? What’dya name the one before it?” Ivy tilted her head in question.</p><p>“Um... Formula 534?” Harley was puzzled.</p><p>“So ya just kept countin’ up?” Ivy nodded. “But what number didja start from then?” Ivy looked even more confused than Harley felt.</p><p>“Um… one?” Harley’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.</p><p>“Wait, are ya tryin’ ta tell me ya actually made 535 different formulas before ya got this one?!” Ivy nodded, still looking a bit confused.</p><p>“Yes, why would I assign an arbitrary number to the formulas? It makes the most sense to start with one and then work from there.” Harley couldn’t contain her shock at the new information.</p><p>“YOU MADE 535 DIFFERENT FORMULAS IN THREE MONTHS?!” Ivy winced at Harley’s shout, and Harley felt a bit guilty but holy fucking shit!</p><p>“Please stop shouting, and no I didn’t make them all in the last three months. Remember how I told you it was an old project? I started it years ago, but I just stopped working on for years it until you moved in.” Harley nodded, that made a lot more sense.</p><p>“Why’d ya stop workin’ on it for so long?” Ivy shrugged a twinge of sadness playing over her face briefly.</p><p>“I realized I didn’t really have a reason to keep working on it, and I had other projects so it just fell to the wayside.” Harley frowned, there was more to it than that, she could tell. Harley hopped off the kitchen counter and pulled Ivy to the living room, pushing Ivy so that she plopped unceremoniously down on the armchair before climbing on her lap. Harley pushed her hands into Ivy’s red tresses and massaged her scalp gently as she spoke.</p><p>“Ya don’t hafta tell me about it if ya don’t wanna, but I know there’s more to it than that, an’ I’m here if ya wanna talk baby.” Ivy sighed and nodded, wrapping her arms around Harley’s waist before she started.</p><p>“For a while, in the beginning, I didn’t really miss intimacy. Partially because I was so overwhelmed with my hatred for humanity, and partially because of… because of what happened with Jason.” Harley nodded in understanding, she hated that man and if Ivy hadn’t already killed him herself Harley would have eagerly done the job for her.</p><p>“Even after that, I never really wanted anything serious, just hook ups, and even those were few and far between. On the rare occasions when I actually hooked up with someone, it was casual, no kissing, and that worked fine for me, for a very long time. Then…” Ivy sighed and Harley leaned down cupping Ivy’s cheeks and pulling her gaze up.</p><p>“If ya don’t wanna talk about it ya don’t gotta, okay baby?” Ivy nodded and smiled.</p><p>“No, it’s okay, this part is kind of just more embarrassing than anything else.” Harley raised an eyebrow at that.</p><p>“How’s it embarrassin’?” Ivy’s lips quirked into an amused smile.</p><p>“It’s embarrassing because I was perfectly okay with casual hook ups until a drunk clown cornered me in an alleyway, called me bagel bite and started kissing me.” Harley let out a surprised laugh at that.</p><p>“No way, you’re messin’ with me! Ya didn’t start makin’ it ‘cause of me!” Ivy tapped Harley’s sides indicating that she wanted to stand up. Harley got off of Ivy’s lap and watched as she walked to the lab. She came back in the room with an old beat up notebook. She opened it and plopped it down on Harley’s lap.</p><p>“March, 10<sup>th</sup>, 2016.” Ivy tapped the date on the top of the paper as she spoke. “I believe that was, what? Two or three days after that night?” Harley stared at the date on the paper absolutely dumbfounded. It was true, Ivy had started working on the formula a couple of days after they first met.</p><p>“But… why? I mean ya never even talked ta me after that night, I didn’t know ya even knew I existed.” Ivy nodded looking a little guilty as she spoke.</p><p>“Yes well, I started making it because of that night, because of you, but not necessarily for…you.” Harley nodded, understanding dawning on her.</p><p>“There was someone else ya wanted ta use it on.” Ivy shook her head.</p><p>“No, I didn’t have anyone, that’s part of the reason I stopped working on it.” Harley furrowed her eyebrows.</p><p>“Okay, I really don’t understand now. If ya weren’t makin’ it for me, but ya didn’t have anyone else ya wanted to give it to then why’d ya start?”</p><p>“Like I said, it was because of you. It wasn’t until that night, when you cornered me, and charmed the shit out of me with your drunken antics that I realized that I could genuinely want to be around someone someday. Before that I kind of just tolerated people, every one that I hooked up with, they were just… the least offensive candidate that I could find at that moment. You made me laugh, and despite my wanting to dislike you, I didn’t. I realized that it was possible for me to like a human, to want to be around them, to enjoy their company. So I started working on the formula, for one day, just in case I met another clown in an alleyway.” Harley smiled at that, while it wasn’t nearly as romantic as Ivy secretly pining for Harley for the last four years, it was still flattering to know that she’d had such an influence on Ivy without even realizing it.</p><p>“But then why’d ya stop workin’ on it?” Ivy took a heavy breath.</p><p>“After I died the second time, I started working on all my old projects again, including that one. But with my skin being poisonous… I couldn’t go anywhere without covering up from head to toe just to make sure I didn’t accidentally touch anyone. When I wasn’t covered, I was anxious, anyone that got too close to me… it was nerve wracking.”</p><p>Harley pressed a kiss to Ivy’s forehead. She’d known all of that of course, but she didn’t fully realize how hard it must have been for Ivy. To be forced into isolation by something you couldn’t control, it was something Harley couldn’t imagine. Ivy smiled weakly at her.</p><p>“It’s easier now you know? I know the times of day each area of the city is the slowest, when the least people are out and about. I’m quicker at backing away when someone gets too close. It’s easier, but it’s still hard and after a couple of months of living that way I realized that I wouldn’t find anyone. How could I? I never met anyone, never talked to anyone. So I just stopped, there was no reason for me to continue.”</p><p>“But ya had the vaccine, couldn’t ya just have used that?” Ivy nodded.</p><p>“Yeah, I figured the vaccine out pretty early on, about 100 formulas in, it’s not permanent, you’d have to be inoculated about every six months or so, so I kept working on it, trying to find a more permanent solution. Then, I just didn’t anymore. Then you came here and I remembered the project, more so I remembered the side effects of some of the later formulas. About 300 upwards, they made the test subjects stronger, more resilient, so I started again. For you.” Harley blew out a breath.</p><p>“Wow, it’s like …”</p><p>“Don’t say fate.”</p><p>“Fate.” Ivy rolled her eyes but chuckled anyway.</p><p>“Think about it Ives, if Selina hadn’t stood ya up, ya wouldn’ta been in that alley an’ I wouldn’ta met ya at all. An’ if I hadn’t met ya, we probably wouldn’ta gotten together now cause ya wouldn’ta had the vaccine, an’ we both know if I hadn’ta kissed ya none of this woulda happened.”</p><p>“Hey! You don’t know that, I could’ve made the first move.” Harley arched an eyebrow. “I mean it probably would have taken me a lot longer, but I might have!” Harley chuckled.</p><p>“Okay baby, you <strong>might</strong> have told me that you liked me, but even then if ya did, you’d probably be still figurin’ out the vaccine, we would hafta I dunno like dry hump each other or somethin’.” Ivy laughed.</p><p>“So basically what you’re saying is that fate made it possible for us to get laid?” Harley grinned.</p><p>“Yep, an’ boy am I happy about that. ‘Cause you, Dr.Isley, are a great lay, best lay I ever had.” Ivy let out a snort of laughter at Harley’s words.</p><p>“You’re so romantic.” Harley giggled.</p><p>“Yep, an’ just you wait till our second date, I’ll show ya how romantic I am.” Harley wiggled her eyebrows at Ivy and Ivy fell into another fit of laughter.</p><p>Harley watched her, her chest feeling full as she saw the glee on Ivy’s face, laughter was a bit strange for Harley. She loved jokes, and she loved laughing, but ever since she met Joker, laughter wasn’t fun for a long time. Now, with Ivy, she found herself loving the sound of it again. As Harley pondered this, something else occurred to her.</p><p>“Wait, Ives, ya said the other formulas made your test subjects stronger, so why couldn’t ya use those?” Ivy wiped her eye of the tears dripping out of them before answering.</p><p>“The side effects were too severe, though some of the formulas have proven to be useful in other matters. Several of them actually, I have a list somewhere of what they all do…. Anyway sorry, yes the effects outweighed the benefits, at least in humans, like I said some of the formulas have been beneficial to both myself and my plants. So I actually owe you a great deal of gratitude for that, there are at least fifty formulas that I created because you inspired me to. So really, you should probably name them all.” Harley beamed at Ivy.</p><p>“Really? Could I?” Ivy nodded and Harley bounced happily on her lap. Ivy chuckled and kissed Harley’s cheek before speaking again.</p><p>“Okay sweet pea, I think we got side tracked enough, we’re supposed to be talking about the side effects of formula 535, or Harley’s Pamtastic Potion.” Harley grinned.</p><p>“Okay, lay it on me, what does HPP do? Am I gonna have green skin like you?” Harley considered that, would she mind? Not really, though she didn’t think she would look half as attractive as Ivy with that pigmentation. Ivy shook her head.</p><p>“No, you will have some chlorophyll in your system but not nearly as much as I do, as such there will be no discoloration of the skin. However you will have increased sensitivity to pesticides, which means any produce you consume, that doesn’t come from my garden of course, will need to be thoroughly cleaned, aside from that you will have to be more vigilant about eating in restaurants that serve organic foods for the same reasons. While it won’t kill you it will cause you severe gastrointestinal stress.” Harley nodded.</p><p>“Okie dokie, no insect killers, I can do that, plus ain’t it real bad for ya to eat those things anyways?” Ivy nodded.</p><p>“Yes, it most definitely is. Aside from this your hair and nails will grow at a much faster rate than they do now, this isn’t horrible, but it is quite annoying, I recommend investing in laser hair removal, it’s much better than having to buy a million razors.” Harley chuckled at that.</p><p>“Okay, got it, I’ll get my pubes zapped, anythin’ else?” Ivy blushed before responding shyly.</p><p>“Well… you don’t have to get all of them zapped…” Harley grinned and leaned down to kiss Ivy before pulling away whispering in Ivy’s ear.</p><p>“Don’t worry baby, I’ll save a lil patch of garden just for you.” Harley giggled as Ivy groaned in response.</p><p>“Stop it or we’ll never get through this.” Ivy punctuated her words with a firm smack to Harley’s butt and Harley wiggled her eyebrows at the redheaded woman.</p><p>“Will ya spank me some more if I’m bad baby? I been real bad Dr. Isley.” Harley watched in amusement as arousal and embarrassment flashed over Ivy’s face.</p><p>“Harleen.” Harley chuckled and nodded.</p><p>“Okay, Okay, I’ll behave. Anythin’ else I should know Red?” Ivy nodded.</p><p>“Yes, there is a chance that the formula will make you feel under the weather for a couple of days. This isn’t something that happened to all of the test subjects, but it has happened, so you might get cramping, some aching in your joints and muscles, fatigue and fluctuation of appetite. If you were to develop them these symptoms would fade within 2-3 days of taking the formula, but they would be very unpleasant.”</p><p>“So kinda like bad PMS?” Ivy nodded.</p><p>“Yes, almost exactly.” Harley shrugged.</p><p>“Well it ain’t great, but I been dealin’ with that on a near monthly basis since I was 13, so I can handle it.”</p><p>“Okay, well that’s all then. I haven’t tried it myself, but from the looks I’ve seen the test subjects make I assume it doesn’t taste very good, so you should probably have a glass of water ready whenever you decide to take it.”</p><p>With that Harley jumped off of Ivy’s lap and raced to the kitchen. She filled a glass full of water before quickly slamming back both the formula and the water. She retched at the taste and quickly filled another glass of water chugging that down as well.</p><p>“Ah geez Red! Ya weren’t kiddin’ bout the taste! It tastes like a garden just took a shit in my mouth!” Ivy grimaced as she walked into the kitchen.</p><p>“Well that was… descriptive. Here.” Ivy handed Harley a pack of gum, which Harley immediately took and proceeded to shove five pieces into her mouth at the same time.</p><p>“ ’anks ibes!” Harley tried to speak around the giant wad of gum in her mouth, and Ivy chuckled.</p><p>“You look like a little chipmunk.”  Ivy stroked Harley’s cheeks gently as she said it and Harley grinned at her.</p><p>“ish dorable?” Ivy laughed again and nodded.</p><p>“Yes peanut, it’s adorable. And now since you drank the formula much quicker than I thought you would. I have to go prepare some supplies just in case you have side effects. I’ll be back babe.”</p><p>Ivy pressed a soft kiss on Harley’s lips before turning and walking away to gather the aforementioned supplies. Harley would have protested if the other woman hadn’t been so quick, Ivy didn’t need to go through extra trouble for her, but Harley supposed that no matter what she had said Ivy would have done it anyway, because Ivy took care of her, it’s what she did.</p><hr/>
<hr/><p>++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++</p><p>Harley chewed the wad of gum for a couple of minutes more before she decided that the horrible taste had finally left her mouth. She spat the gum in the trash and skipped up to her room to check her phone. The night before during her wonderful first date with Ivy her battery had completely died and she left it upstairs to charge, while the two of them ate breakfast and discussed the formula. She figured at this point her battery was probably almost fully charged and she could go through all of the photos that she took yesterday to find a cute one of her and Ivy for her background.</p><p>When Harley looked at her phone she frowned, 17 new messages, Ivy had just left, what could she have possibly needed to message her 17 times about? Harley pressed her thumb to the fingerprint scanner to open the phone and rolled her eyes. Joker. The asshole couldn’t bother to message her at all during her three months here, but as soon as he found out about Ivy all of a sudden he wanted to talk. <em>Fucking jackass</em>. Harley was about to delete the messages and possibly block him when an attachment Joker sent made her knees give out.</p><p>Harley sat huddled on the floor as she watched the video in horrified silence. It was from when Joker had kept her tied to the table naked. True to his word he hadn’t let any of his goons touch Harley, but what he had done was let them watch as he ran rough hot hands over her body, he let them belittle her, he laughed as they called out things for him to scribble all over her body in permanent marker: “Draw a dick on her face!” “Slut” “Put a tally mark for every time you fuck her.” “Whore” “Write: Property of Joker.” “Fuck hole”. One of his crueler cohorts suggested he brand her and Harley knew that if he had had access to a branding iron he would have done it without hesitation.</p><p>On the final day that he had kept Harley chained up he had had one of his goons record as he berated and groped Harley, as he had sex with-no that wasn’t right, as he raped Harley, she hated to think it, hated to accept that it had happened to her. It made her feel weak and ashamed, but it was true, Joker had raped her, he had done it repeatedly, he had done it with glee on his face, he had laughed as she cried and begged him to stop, he had growled angrily in her ear that if she didn’t smile for the camera he’d let someone else have a go, he had robbed her of her dignity and her choice and he had made her pretend that she enjoyed it.</p><p>He videotaped it, he let his goons watch as he did it and at the end of it all, with pride in his voice he had announced: “See fellas, that’s how it’s done,” and they had laughed, all of them, him and all of the men that she had spent years living and fighting side-by-side with, they laughed at her pain without an ounce of guilt amongst them. Harley had never felt more betrayed and ashamed in her life.</p><p>When he had finally unchained her and flung some clothes at her Harley hadn’t needed to be told twice to leave. She rushed to her apartment, and scrubbed her body raw as she sobbed. She lay in the shower for hours wondering if it was worth it anymore. She took one too many pain killers that day and was surprised when she actually woke up the next morning. It took every bit of willpower she had not to try again, to convince herself that he hadn’t meant it, that he still loved her, to believe the lie that she still loved him.</p><p>She hated to think of it now, to think that she had given in so quickly, forgiven him and gone back to him even after he did all of that to her. But she also knew it was a defense mechanism, she had to think that he loved her, because if he didn’t, then who else did she have? Her parents had made it clear that they didn’t care whether she lived or died, her friends… well she had thought the goons were her friends, but that was obviously not the case. She was alone in the world, she had no one and nothing without him. He had made sure of that.</p><p>So when Harley had finally forced herself out of her apartment to throw away the clothes that she had worn on her way back to her apartment, clothes that couldn’t bear to look at and had stumbled upon Iggy, that lonely wilted chrysanthemum? That had been the biggest blessing in disguise, a new beginning for Harley that she hadn’t believed she’d find.</p><p>Why had he sent this to her? Did he think she had forgotten? Was it a threat? Was it a joke to him? Did he find it funny? Was it just another way to hurt Harley? To show her that he still could hurt her? The thought made anger and fear boil up in Harley’s stomach. She scrolled through the messages.</p><p>Joker: are you ignoring me puddin?</p><p>Joker: thats not a wise decision harley</p><p>Joker: fucking answer me you stupid whore!</p><p>Joker: you cheated on me you worthless cunt answer your goddamn phone!</p><p>Joker: ok fine ill admit that i cheated on you too</p><p>Joker: but that still doesnt make up for what you did to me</p><p>Joker: if you really want to make it up to me youll help me out</p><p>Joker:  all i need is a teensy little sample of ragweeds blood</p><p>Joker: dont worry im not going to hurt your little pussy willow</p><p>Joker: even though i should rip that weeds head right off for touching whats mine</p><p>Joker: but im a nice guy</p><p>Joker: forgiving and compassionate</p><p>Joker: listen you ungrateful little bitch if you dont fucking answer me im going to send your little ragweed this [video attachment]</p><p>Joker: is that what you want harley? for that bitch to know exactly how much of a whore you are?</p><p>Joker: do you think shell still want you after she sees this? after she sees how much of a pathetic slut you are?</p><p>Joker: do you honestly think shell be able to look at you without being sick? that shell still want to touch your disgusting used up body?</p><p>Joker: all you have to do is answer me and this all goes away puddin i am a nice guy after all</p><p>Harley typed a response before curling up in a ball on the floor her shock not allowing her to cry. Ivy was going to hate her, there was no way around it. The woman that she’d grown to cherish, that she was in love with, that she pictured growing old with, was going to see how worthless she really was. Ivy would deny it, of course she would, because Ivy was kind and caring, but she would know that Harley was just a used up whore like Mr. J said she was.</p><p>Ivy who treated her with such care and understanding, who held her and made her feel loved and safe, who acted as if Harley was someone else, someone worthy of her time, lovely wonderful Ivy would know truly and once and for all that Harley was just a weak broken pathetic slut. Harley’s phone dinged again but instead of being greeted by another hateful message from Joker she saw an image of Ivy smiling and holding up two pints of ice cream.</p><p>Pammy *heart emoji*: Cherry Garcia or Phish Food?</p><p>Pammy *heart emoji*: Fuck it, I’m getting both.</p><p>Pammy *heart emoji*: I’ll be home soon sweet pea, let me know if you want anything else while I’m out. *smiley face*</p><p>The tears hit Harley all at once, how could she lose someone so wonderful so quickly?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Trigger Warning: Essentially all you need to know is that Joker is threatening to send a video of himself abusing Harley to Ivy unless she gives him a vial of Ivy's blood. </p><p>I really don't have anything else to say for this chapter... it makes me sad.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. There’s Nothing to Fear But…</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>No trigger warnings for this chapter, but as always if you see something, say something.</p><p>Other note: Sorry about not updating yesterday, it was my niece's birthday, and running away from a four year old hell bent on trying to dress you up as 'birthday Barbie princess' is an all day affair. LoL, anyway as always thanks for reading and I hope you guys enjoy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">There’s Nothing to Fear But…</span>
</p><p>Ivy hummed happily as she put the groceries away, she’d gotten everything she thought Harley might need if she felt under the weather. Snacks in case Harley had cravings, soup in case Harley’s stomach hurt, Advil in case Harley had aches, a heating pad in case Harley had cramps, and a stuffed hyena toy because she knew that Harley would think it was cute. That last one wasn’t strictly a necessity, but if it made Harley happy then it was necessary in Ivy’s book.</p><p><strong><em>You’re happy.</em></strong> Ivy nodded. “I am.”</p><p><strong><em>I guess that means your date went well.</em></strong> “It did.”</p><p><strong><em>All right Ivy, cut the shit, what happened?</em></strong> “What do you mean?”</p><p><strong><em>I mean, I know you there’s no way you’re this happy over that cheesy ass date you planned, what happened? </em></strong>“Ugh, fine, but you can’t judge me.”</p><p><strong><em>No promises.</em></strong> “Then I’m not telling you shit Frank.”</p><p><strong><em>Okay, damn I won’t judge you, just tell me already.</em></strong> “I told her that I love her.”</p><p><strong><em>What the fuck Ivy?!</em></strong> “You said you wouldn’t judge!”</p><p><strong><em>I fucking lied, obviously, you can’t tell someone you love them after one date! Come on Ivy, that’s basic shit! Do I also need to tell you that you shouldn’t propose to her?! </em></strong>“Okay first, fuck you, lying asshole. Second, I don’t give a shit what you say, because she told me she loved me back, so eat a dick!”</p><p><strong><em>I have eaten dicks Ivy, you feed me men on a regular basis, do you think I just don’t eat the dicks? Of course I eat the dicks. It’d be weirder if I purposely ate around the dicks, also you’d see random disembodied dicks lying around the park! </em></strong>“… I… that’s completely not the point of what I just said and also a really horrific thing to picture, so thanks for that.”</p><p><strong><em>You started it. And I’ll have you know that if it was anyone else it would be completely unreasonable for you say ‘I love you’ to them after one date. Harley’s just crazy.</em></strong> “Hey! She’s not cra-… okay fine, but shut the fuck up, she loves me and I’m happy about it don’t be an asshole.”  </p><p><strong><em>Okay fine, I’m happy for you, but you couldn’t play it cool at least until the second date?</em></strong> “She’s saving money to buy a zero emissions yacht and she’s having Boyan Slat install a cleanup system in it.”</p><p><strong><em>Well damn… yeah I don’t have anything to say, that’s honestly the perfect way to get into your pants.</em></strong> Ivy rolled her eyes at that, “Frank she wasn’t trying to get into my pants, she already got into my pants, and she started sending out emails about it months ago, she’s just… she’s just amazing. A few months ago she barely knew anything about the environment and now she’s doing cute shit like this, she genuinely cares about the environment.”</p><p><strong><em>Or she just really cares about you.</em></strong> Ivy smiled. “Yeah, that too. It’s just, she’s so thoughtful, and she was sitting there explaining it excitedly, just being her cute animated self, and I couldn’t help it, I just blurted it out.”</p><p><strong><em>And you meant it?</em></strong> “Completely.” <strong><em>All right fine, I can’t make fun of you about this, it’s cute as fuck. </em></strong></p><p>“Thank you.” <strong><em>So which one of you is the top?</em></strong> “I don’t know what that means Frank. Is that another way to ask who’s the man in the relationship? Because if so that’s a really fucked up antiquated idea. Two women can be in a relationship without a man Francis Frankenstein Isley.”</p><p><strong><em>Okay don’t get all full name on me, I don’t think it means that, though I can’t be sure, the rules are very confusing, who is better at math? </em></strong> “Me? I think? What the hell does that have to do with anything?”</p><p><strong><em>I don’t know, I’ll just ask Harley, I bet she knows, you should watch more Waynetube, it’s full of interesting information. </em></strong> </p><p>“You’re so fucking ridiculous, but I’m not going to argue with you because I much prefer you being on Waynetube then on a porn website.”</p><p><strong><em>How the fuck was I supposed to know you weren’t an ecosexual?</em></strong> “I’m not having this conversation with you again Frank.”</p><p><strong><em>Fine, but just so you know the black-eyed susans agreed with me.</em></strong> “Ugh, what is with those bitches?! Next year I’m planting daises. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go look for my girlfriend who I love and who also loves me.”</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Yeah this is definitely going to stop being cute real quick.</em>
  </strong>
</p><hr/><p>“Hello my name is Buford the Hyena, I’ve come to snuggle.” Ivy waggled the stuffed animal in front of her face as she spoke in a gruff voice befitting of a Hyena. After waiting a couple of seconds Ivy pulled the stuffed animal down from in front of her face, turning it to look at it. “What? Is Buford a bad name? You can name him whatever you want, or her, what about Lewis?”</p><p>Ivy looked up hopefully only to realize that Harley was lying curled up on the floor. Ivy dropped the stuffed animal and rushed to Harley’s side. “Harley, what happened? Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Ivy inspected Harley’s body as she asked the questions, looking for a sign of injury, finding none she looked to Harley’s tear streaked face. “Sweet pea, what’s wrong? Is it the formula? Are you in pain?” Harley gave a slight nod at that. “I’m sorry baby, come lay on the bed.”</p><p>Harley made no move to stand instead shaking her head no. “You don’t want to stand?” Harley nodded. “Okay, can I carry you?” Harley hesitated but nodded. Ivy scooped Harley into her arms cradling her close to her chest as she carried her to the bed. Ivy gently laid Harley down and pressed a hand to Harley’s forehead. It didn’t seem like the had a fever, that was a good sign, but the negative side effects of the formula usually didn’t hit this fast and it concerned Ivy that Harley was feeling them so strongly so soon.</p><p>Ivy sat at the edge of the bed and stroked a gentle hand down Harley’s face. “Baby, I’m worried about you, where does it hurt peanut?” Harley said nothing, but new tears started forming in her eyes and it made panic build inside Ivy. “Okay, I’m going to get the heating pad and some Advil for you.” Ivy went to stand but felt a soft hand tugging on hers, Ivy looked down and met Harley’s desperate eyes.</p><p>“Harley I want to help you, I just don’t know what you want me to do baby.” Harley pulled her hand again and Ivy lay down on the bed. Immediately after she lay down Harley curled into her side, clutching fistfuls of Ivy’s shirt tightly in her hands. Ivy wrapped her arms around Harley and rubbed soothing circles down her back, her concern growing by the second.</p><p>Harley had gotten like this on a few other occasions, but it was always as a result of very emotional conversations, she would become so full of sorrow that she would just stop talking, clutching to Ivy for hours before she’d be able to bring herself to speak again. Perhaps this was a side effect that she hadn’t noted in her test subjects? They had been emotionally distressed but Ivy had assumed that it was a result of them being held captive against their will, but maybe mood fluctuations were a result of the formula. </p><p>“Harley?” Harley looked up at Ivy. “Baby, are you upset?” Harley hesitated for a moment, conflicting emotions playing over her features before she finally nodded. Ivy leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to Harley’s forehead. When Ivy pulled back she stroked a gentle hand down Harley’s cheek before speaking. “Do you want to talk about it sweet pea?” Harley’s face fell, her features screwed up and a sob burst from her lips. Ivy pulled Harley closer to her, “I’m sorry baby, you don’t have to talk about it. You don’t have to talk at all if you don’t want to sweet pea. It’s okay baby, I’m here. Ssh ssh, it’s okay love.”</p><p>Harley buried her face into Ivy’s shoulder and Ivy continued to whisper reassurances to her until Harley seemed to settle a bit. Ivy beckoned for the fern in the corner of the room to bring the stuffed animal to her and she held it in Harley’s line of sight.</p><p>She made her voice as ridiculous as possible, “Harley I need you to name me because Ivy is horrible at coming up with names.” Harley smiled softly and shook her head.</p><p>“You won’t name me?” Harley shook her head again.</p><p>“Do you like the name Ivy gave me?” Harley nodded. Ivy turned the stuffed animal to face her and she spoke in her normal voice as if addressing the hyena.</p><p>“You see, I told you Lewis was a good name.” Ivy turned to Harley, “He didn’t believe me.” Harley’s smile got wider and Ivy felt herself relax, Harley would be okay. Ivy again changed her voice to speak as Lewis, “Oh well fine you win, but I want Harley as my mom, not you.” Ivy scoffed in mock indignation and she heard Harley giggle.</p><p>“Well there you have it, he wants you. Will you be his mom?” Harley nodded and pulled the stuffed Hyena close to her chest. Harley leaned forward and kissed Ivy, it was soft and sensuous, and Ivy kissed back putting as much emotion into the kiss as she could. When they pulled away Harley looked into Ivy’s eyes and pressed her hand to Ivy’s heart, her eyes begging for Ivy to understand. Ivy smiled gently at her.</p><p>“I love you too Harley.” A look of relief washed over Harley’s face and Ivy placed another soft kiss on her lips. When they pulled away Ivy rested her forehead against Harley’s. “Do you want to know how much I love you?” Harley smiled and nodded.</p><p>“I love you more than Batman loves to fuck bats.” Harley laughed, slapping Ivy’s arm lightly and Ivy smiled. “I love you more than Eddie loves riddles.” Harley continued smiling at her, glee clear in her eyes and Ivy continued.</p><p>“I love you more than Cobblepot loves that stupid ass umbrella that he always carries around. I love you more than Harvey loves his coin. I love you more than Frank loves daytime television.” Harley pulled Ivy in for another kiss, still soft, and gentle, still filled with love. Ivy smiled when they separated and cupped Harley’s face in her hand, looking lovingly into her eyes as she spoke. “Harleen Quinzel, I love you more than I ever thought I could love anyone.”</p><p>Harley pushed her head into Ivy’s shoulder and hugged her tightly, after a few moments Ivy felt Harley’s tears starting to soak through her shirt. Were these happy tears or sad tears? Ivy wasn’t sure, but they concerned her nonetheless.</p><hr/><p>Ivy tapped her pen against her notebook, trying to concentrate on the equations in front of her. She was close, so close to figuring out how to fix her issues with the Amazon plants, but for the life of her she couldn’t focus. It had been about four days since Harley took the formula, and while she had been so distressed for the two days following that she latched onto Ivy, never leaving her side the whole time, after that she seemed better.</p><p>Still, Ivy couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something wrong, something still bothering the other woman. Harley looked almost guilty every time she looked at Ivy and no matter what Ivy said that look didn’t go away. Ivy suspected that Harley felt guilty for encroaching on her time in the lab, she had insisted that Ivy continue her work, but had also wanted to remain by her side. So Ivy had set up another chair beside her own in the greenhouse and continued her work with Harley close by.</p><p>Harley mostly read quietly while Ivy worked, her hand always resting somewhere on Ivy’s body for reassurance. On occasion Harley’s curiosity would get the best of her and she asked questions, and Ivy was happy to answer them but she suspected that Harley felt guilty for distracting her. In truth Ivy had enjoyed having Harley in her lab, and if she didn’t think Harley would be bored out of her mind she would ask her to come more often.</p><p>Harley’s questions while distracting were welcomed, Ivy enjoyed talking about her work and Harley seemed eager to learn, and sometimes an off-hand comment by the other woman would cause Ivy to think about things in another light, which in science was a good thing, you couldn’t make progress if you were trying to push through the same path over and over again. So, there was no reason for Harley to feel guilty about her time in Ivy’s lab, but no matter how much Ivy insisted on that fact Harley still seemed remorseful.</p><p>Ivy thought she should go check on the other woman, but then stopped herself. Harley was just starting to feel comfortable on her own again and Ivy didn’t want to impede her progress. The emotional distress that the formula had triggered in the other woman had been draining in and of itself she didn’t need Ivy smothering her as well. Ivy sighed and looked back down at her notebook, what on earth was she missing? Ivy moved to pull out another notebook for reference when she heard her phone go off.</p><p>Ivy, needing the distraction, immediately picked it up and unlocked the screen. She frowned at the notification, not recognizing the number, she was about to ignore it when she saw the thumbnail preview. Curiosity getting the better of her she clicked on the video and watched it with increasing horror and anger boiling up inside of her. She needed to talk to Harley.</p><hr/><p>“Are ya sure we can’t just blow it up?” Ivy chuckled, as much as she would love to blow Planetwide Pavers mile high, she knew that it wouldn’t solve the problem.</p><p>“No, Harls, we have to find the person in charge, or else they’ll just rebuild.” Harley sighed.</p><p>“Okay, fine, we’ll do it your way, but after we find the guy or gal in charge, can we blow them up?” Ivy pressed a kiss to Harley’s cheek affectionately.</p><p>“Yes peanut, when we find the person in charge I’ll let you blow them up, after they you know dissolve the company and donate their remaining earnings to a charity of our choosing, of course.” Harley nodded happily at that.</p><p>“Thanks Pammy, ya sure know how to spoil a girl.” Ivy smiled again. When she had watched the promotional video that was sent to her about Planetwide Pavers, she knew she had to act quickly. So she had immediately asked for Harley’s help with the matter, but after a week of painstaking research they were no closer to finding the information they needed.</p><p>For some reason this company was very elusive about who their CEO or board of directors was, Ivy supposed that since Gotham was her home, and since she had a reputation of killing those in charge of planet destroying companies, that it made sense for them not to want their information public. Still no amount of deep diving had helped and so they had decided on a simple reconnaissance mission.  They would sneak into the building at night and search for any information they could find on who was in charge. Surely there would be emails or memorandums or something that would tell them who was responsible.</p><p>Ivy curled her fist around the vine as she held her other hand out to Harley. “You want a ride peanut?” Harley giggled and accepted Ivy’s hand, clutching tightly to her as Ivy used the vine to pull them up to the roof of the building. When Harley hopped down she sent Ivy a flirtatious wink before speaking.</p><p>“It’s always a pleasure ridin’ ya Baby.” Ivy blushed and shook her head in amusement at Harley.</p><p>“You absolutely cannot flirt with me right now, I can’t be flustered while we’re doing this.” Harley pouted.</p><p>“Aww really Pammy? I can’t flirt with ya? Not even a little?” Harley pushed herself against Ivy suggestively and Ivy had to chuckle. She placed a soft kiss on Harley’s lips before putting on her sternest voice.</p><p>“Not at all. After the mission I’ll take care of you all you want sweet pea, but right now we need to focus. Now will you be a good girl for me sweet pea?” Harley groaned.</p><p>“Fuck Ivy, ya can’t talk to me like that if ya want me to focus.”</p><p>“Dr. Isley. And I asked you a question Harleen, will you behave?” Harley blushed but nodded.</p><p>“Yeah, I’ll behave Dr. Isley.” Ivy smiled brightly, her stern façade falling as she kissed Harley’s cheek.</p><p>“Good, because I need you to go in there and deactivate all the alarms with your fancy gymnastics moves.”</p><p> Harley chuckled and walked over to the skylight gesturing for Ivy to give her a vine to lower herself down with. Ivy granted the request and watched as Harley gracefully hopped around avoiding all of the alarms as she made her way down the dark corridor. For a few moments Harley was out of sight and Ivy tapped her fingers against her vine nervously. No matter how much confidence Ivy had in Harley’s abilities she couldn’t help but worry for her whenever they went out on missions together. Ivy’s worry soon faded as she saw Harley happily skipping back into view, signaling to Ivy that it was clear to come down.</p><p>Ivy lowered herself down into the hallway and pulled up the floor plan that they had found in their research. She pointed out the first couple of rooms that she thought were best for inspection and Harley nodded. They moved through the dark corridors in relative silence, unsure if there were any night guards to be wary of. After going through several rooms their search came up empty until Ivy spotted something out of the corner of her eye. She pointed it out to Harley who audibly gasped.</p><p>“Legion of Doom.” Ivy nodded solemnly, that surely made things more difficult but if Luthor thought for one minute that Ivy wouldn’t treat him exactly how she treated any other planet destroying CEO he was sorely mistaken.</p><p>“Okay, well that’s all the information we need, let’s head out and make a plan.” Harley nodded but before they could turn around they were interrupted by a voice coming from the shadows.</p><p>“Why leave so quickly? Are you scared of the dark?” Ivy rolled her eyes, recognizing the voice immediately. “Fear is the-ah!” Ivy shot her vines out into the darkness locating Crane quickly by using the sound of his voice.  Ivy pulled him forward, but her vines had not wrapped around his arms and when he was propelled forward he shot a dart out at Ivy landing in her neck. Ivy grunted her vines releasing instinctively but before Crane could run off Harley drove her bat into his kneecap sending him sprawling to the ground.</p><p>Ivy pulled the dart out of her neck and pitched it at Crane. It landed in what Ivy would assume was the man’s right eye, but she couldn’t tell exactly with the stupid Scarecrow mask covering his face. Wherever it had stabbed him though caused him to howl in pain. “You stupid son of a bitch, you know poison doesn’t work on me, you however are not so lucky.” Ivy moved to reach under the man’s mask to poison him but stopped when she saw a rush of goons come forward.</p><p>“Shit Ives, I think we gotta split.” Ivy growled in frustration but knew Harley was right. They made quick work of the goons closest to them and sped off towards the exit, fighting more goons as they went. Once they’d reached her car Ivy was exhausted and Harley took the wheel instead. Ivy felt a shiver travel through her body feeling very weak all of a sudden. She sat in silence for the rest of the car ride back, wondering why her fatigue from the fight was so severe. Did Crane’s poison actually work on her? No, Ivy dismissed the idea immediately, there was no way it could have, she was probably just coming down with something, the timing was surely coincidental.</p><p>When they finally reached the house Harley was looking at Ivy with a great deal of concern on her face.</p><p>“Baby, you don’t look so good.”</p><p>“Well damn Harley, I didn’t think our honeymoon period would be over so quickly.” Ivy tried for humor to assuage the other woman’s worry. It didn’t work as Harley only looked more concerned. Ivy tried again. “I’m fine Harley, I probably just got…” Ivy trailed off her mind suddenly fuzzy and unable to grasp at the words she needed. Harley stepped closer just as Ivy started to fall forward, the soft gasp leaving Harley’s lips was the last thing Ivy remembered before everything went black.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Just fuckin' torpedoing the plot forward, but also Frank's whole dick rant? I was cackling. lol</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Love Is Quartz and Breath the Secondhand</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger Warning: Brief mentions of past abuse. It's not bad, it's like one sentence.</p><p>As always thanks for reading and stay well.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">Love Is Quartz and Breath the Secondhand</span>
</p><p>“Frank I’m not mmmf-“ Ivy sputtered as Frank shoved a spoonful of soup in her open mouth. Harley practically growled at the vines as she walked back into the room.</p><p>“Damn it Frank! Be gentle!” The vines wiggled at her indignantly. <strong><em>Ivy stubborn. She not eat.</em></strong></p><p>Harley rolled her eyes at that, Ivy was indeed stubborn and for the first day had insisted that despite the fact that she had fainted she was perfectly fine. Which was complete bullshit, she was decidedly not fine. As the days passed and her symptoms got worse, Ivy finally admitted that she was ‘perhaps a bit under the weather’. For someone who was such a big baby when she was hung-over, Ivy did not like being treated like she was sick.</p><p>Sick, Harley reminded herself, that’s all this was, a cold, the flu maybe. Harley had worried that somehow Crane’s toxin had worked on Ivy, but Ivy dismissed the idea. (“I’m immune to all poisons and toxins Harley, also if it had worked I’d be scared wouldn’t I? That’s Crane’s M.O., fear toxin. I’m not poisoned, I’m just sick.”) Harley had acknowledged that that made sense, but she couldn’t help the lingering fear that Ivy was wrong. Harley shook the thought from her head, addressing Frank.</p><p>“It’s fine, she’ll eat later.” Frank set the soup and the spoon down, probably saying something to Ivy as he did so, if the scowl on her face was any indication. Harley shook her head, no matter what happened, these two still fought like children, it was amusing but also frustrating. Harley sat at the edge of Ivy’s bed stroking a soft hand down her cheek, Ivy leaned into the touch her scowl disappearing instantly.</p><p>“Hey peanut.” Ivy’s voice was raspier than usual and while Harley thought it sounded sexy as hell she also knew that it meant her throat wasn’t feeling any better.</p><p>“Hey daffodil, I ran a bath for ya, it’s gonna help bring down your fever.” Ivy sighed sending Harley a pitiful look in response.</p><p>“I’m so tired Harls.” Harley kissed Ivy’s forehead gently, noting how hot it was as she did.</p><p>“I know baby, but I need ya to get betta, an’ this bath’ll help. Will ya do it for me Pammy?” Ivy let out a breath of defeat and nodded. Harley smiled and pulled the covers of the bed back, Ivy shivered as soon as the air of the room hit her skin. “I’m sorry love, but the bath is nice an’ warm okay?”</p><p>Ivy let Harley help her to her feet and they walked slowly to the bathroom. Once there Harley helped Ivy strip out of her clothes quickly, easing her into the bathtub. Ivy shivered in the water and Harley turned on the tap letting a little more hot water in the bath. “Is that better baby?” Ivy nodded but her teeth still chattered and Harley frowned putting her hand in the bath water to test its temperature. It wasn’t cold at all and it made Harley’s worry increase. Ivy saw the look of concern on her face and frowned.</p><p>“I’ll be okay sweet pea, I promise.” Harley nodded, she knew that, Ivy was strong, surely she could handle the flu, still Harley couldn’t help but worry. “You want to join me? The water’s fine.” Ivy waggled her eyebrows at Harley suggestively and Harley chuckled.</p><p>“I don’t think that’s a good idea Ives.” Ivy frowned.</p><p>“But if you come in you can keep my top half warm, I’m so cold Harley.” Ivy sent a dramatic pout in Harley’s direction and Harley couldn’t help but laugh.</p><p>“Okay, fine, but no funny stuff ya hear? You’re too tired and achey for that, got it?” Ivy nodded resolutely.</p><p>“Promise.” Harley stripped off her clothes and got into the bath settling down on Ivy’s lap. Ivy’s normally cool skin was burning against Harley’s but the shivers stopped after a couple of moments of Harley settling in on top of her. They sat in silence for several moments, Ivy’s arms wrapped around Harley’s midsection, her head rested snuggly against Harley’s chest while Harley threaded gentle fingers through Ivy’s hair. Harley, however, couldn’t help herself, she had to ask.</p><p>“Ives?” Ivy stirred against her, looking up at Harley.</p><p>“Yes peanut?”</p><p>“If ya was infected,” Ivy opened her mouth to protest and Harley held up a hand. “IF, like hypothetically, if ya was, would your antidote work against Crane’s fear toxin?” Ivy sighed.</p><p>“If I were infected, which I’m not, then yes it would.” Harley nodded, pulling her lower lip between her teeth as she thought about that. Ivy reached up and stroked Harley’s cheek gently. “What is it sweet pea?”</p><p>“If ya took it, the antidote, an’ ya weren’t infected, would it hurt ya?” Ivy considered this for a moment.</p><p>“No, it would make me hallucinate, but it wouldn’t cause any real damage. It’s made from mostly organic matter so most likely my body would pull as many nutrients out of it as it could, and dump the rest. It would be essentially treated like food.” Harley sent her a meaningful look and Ivy sighed.</p><p>“I’m not infected peanut, I’m just sick.” Harley pouted.</p><p>“But if it wouldn’t hurt ya, an’ it would make me feel betta knowin’ for sure that it ain’t the toxin, why can’t ya just take it?” Ivy grunted pushing her head into Harley’s shoulder and Harley smiled. She won, Ivy would agree, just one more small push. “Please Pammy? I’m just so worried about ya, I love ya so much daffodil, wouldja please just take it for me?” Ivy sighed.</p><p>“Okay, I’ll take it.” The response was muffled against Harley’s shoulder and Harley leaned down to kiss the crown of Ivy’s head before responding.</p><p>“Thank you love.” Ivy looked up at her and squinted pointing an accusing finger at her as she spoke.</p><p>“If you make fun of me for anything I say or do while I’m hallucinating…” Harley chuckled.</p><p>“I promise I won’t baby.” She held out her pinky and Ivy locked hers with Harley’s looking at her seriously.</p><p>“I swear Harleen, I love you, but I will…. I’ll… well I don’t know what I’ll do but I won’t be happy.” Harley giggled at the grumpy look on Ivy’s face before kissing her softly.</p><p>“Hows about we make a deal? If I make fun of ya at all, you can make me do anythin’ ya want.” Harley ground down on Ivy’s lap suggestively and Ivy’s eyebrows shot up as a blush crawled up her neck.</p><p>Ivy nodded sheepishly at Harley’s suggestion, “Okay.” Harley giggled again.</p><p>“You’re so cute, when ya get all shy.” Ivy pouted and once again shoved her head into Harley’s shoulder. Harley smiled running her fingers through Ivy’s hair again. Harley felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders, she knew sensibly that Ivy was right, but Ivy taking the antidote would ease so much of her worry and if she got to see Ivy trip balls as a bonus? That wasn’t too bad either.</p><hr/><p>“Your hair is like… iz like.. your hair… okay okay here’s the thing, yar har- heh, I mean your hair, it’s like, it’s like cotton candy. I wanna eat it.” Harley giggled as Ivy nuzzled happily against her hair, her fingers lazily combing through it as she spoke. Harley was sitting on the sofa and Ivy was behind her wrapped around her like a koala bear clinging to a tree.</p><p>“Baby ya can’t eat my hair, ‘cause then I’ll be bald.” Ivy blinked then let out a giggle of her own.</p><p>After a few moments of uncontrollable giggling, Ivy suddenly urged Harley to look back at her. When Harley did she had to stop herself from laughing at the ‘serious’ expression Ivy was giving her. Normally her serious expression was severe, intimidating, sexy, but now with her hair mussed up and her eyes unfocused her serious expression was just cute.</p><p>“Harleen Quinzel, I want you to know that I would still love you if you were bald.” Ivy said it to her as if she were relaying very important information and Harley smiled.</p><p>“Ya would?” Ivy nodded.</p><p>“Yep,” her lips popped at the ‘p’, “And do you know what else?” Harley shook her head.</p><p>“No baby, what else?”</p><p>“If you were bald I’d shine your head for you, like a shiny shiny Harley,” Ivy’s eyes widened, “Oh! Like a Harley… did you know that you’re a motorcycle Harley?” Harley chuckled.</p><p>“I’m a motorcycle?” Ivy nodded.</p><p>“Vroom Vroom… vr…” Ivy sent her a lopsided grin. “You’re pretty.” Harley smiled.</p><p>“Thank you baby, you’re pretty too.”</p><p>“Well you’re pretty one!” Harley laughed, she knew that she had promised not to make fun of Ivy for anything she did while she was high, but she was definitely going to have a hard time keeping to that promise. Ivy’s expression turned to amazement and she glanced around the room in awe. Harley raised an eyebrow at that, turning around to more fully face Ivy.</p><p>“What’s the matter baby?” Ivy turned to her a dopey smile on her face.</p><p>“The room is… it’s wavy, it’s wavy, waving, it’s waving.” Ivy raised a hand and waved it. “Hello room.” Harley smiled and kissed Ivy softly. When she pulled back Ivy had the same look of awe on her face, but this time it was directed towards her. “Marshmallow.” Before Harley could respond Ivy leaned forward and licked Harley’s cheek.</p><p>Harley probably should have been disgusted by that or at least mildly annoyed, but she couldn’t bring herself to be anything but charmed by Ivy’s antics. Harley had seen her fair share of people hallucinate, on mushrooms, on acid, ketamine, you name it, but none of those experiences had been half as pleasant as this one. Harley had never cared for the drugs herself, never quite feeling safe enough, or in the right headspace to consume them. Joker on the other hand loved acid, he and his goons did it often, and whenever he did he had laughed incessantly the whole time, which wouldn’t have been that bad if his humor hadn’t been so cruel.</p><p>Harley didn’t know if his maniacal laughter would ever stop haunting her dreams but she knew at least her reality was safe. For all of his cruelty Joker had kept his promise, when Harley gave one of his goons the small vial of Ivy’s blood she half expected him to send the video anyway and when Ivy had burst into the living room a few days ago holding her phone and looking livid Harley had felt her heart drop. To her relief it was a video of the new Planetwide Pavers company that had set Ivy off on a rampage. And days later, still nothing, no word from him.</p><p>Harley reasoned that it made sense for him, he had never cared enough about her to put any effort into doing things for her, so why should now be different? He wouldn’t use the blood to harm Harley, and Harley figured with the formula pumping through her veins there probably wasn’t much harm it could cause anyway. He had probably drummed up some harebrained scheme to use it in a poison against Batman and while Harley hated the fact that he still had that video of her, she figured as long as he kept it to himself she could deal with it.</p><p>Yet, Harley felt guilty, she had betrayed Ivy’s trust, had taken the vial of her blood from her lab without her consent or knowledge and Harley hated herself for doing it, but she didn’t know what else to do. She was backed against a corner, she knew of course that Ivy would have given her the blood if she had asked for it, but that would have required telling her why she needed it and she couldn’t stand the idea of Ivy being disgusted by her, which she surely would have been if she knew what was on that video.</p><p>Harley shivered at the thought, then startled when a thin gentle vine stroked her cheek. She looked at Ivy and did a double take, the vine was coming directly out of Ivy’s hand. Was this a weird side effect of the antidote? Harley thought through all of the things Ivy had told her would happen, she would hallucinate, probably for several hours, then she would fall into a deep sleep for several more hours, when she woke she would need massive amounts of water to replenish her system.</p><p>Ivy had explained in very complicated scientific terms, that Harley had to ask the meaning of, that because Ivy’s body was more efficient at pulling out nutrients from food than a normal human’s body the effect of the antidote would probably be stronger on her than most other people. Harley had assumed that it meant she would just be tripping for longer, not that she would start growing vines out of her hands. Harley ran a soft curious finger over the vine and Ivy giggled.</p><p>“mmm tickles.” Harley raised an eyebrow at that.</p><p>“You can feel that?” Ivy nodded.</p><p>“Yep, is- it’s how come I don’t use them when I fight. ‘cause it would hurt if Ba-na-na-na-na Batman cut them. He cuts my vines Harley, it’s mean.” Ivy had a pout on her face and Harley smiled sympathetically.</p><p>“I know it is sweetheart, but hold up, so ya mean ta tell me that you coulda made vines grow outta your hands this whole time?” Ivy nodded.</p><p>“Yep, not just my hands, everywhere, look.” Ivy opened her mouth and a small sprout of a vine came out of her tongue, waving side to side. “ah ‘ee ish a lil ‘ine.”</p><p>“Holy shit that’s cool! But honey I have no idea what ya just said.” Ivy pulled the vine back into her tongue and repeated.</p><p>“I said it’s a little fine- I mean vine. Heh, it’s a fine vine.” Harley chuckled at that and nodded.</p><p>“It’s most certainly a very fine vine.” Ivy smiled contentedly at that and Harley decided to file this new found information away for a later date, a vine sprouting out of Ivy’s tongue? That could be fun.</p><p>“You want to see something else?” Harley nodded.</p><p>“Sure babe, what else ya got?” Harley expected Ivy to perhaps grow a flower or a leaf, what she didn’t expect was for Ivy to launch herself off the sofa and race to her lab. Harley’s eyes widened as she raced after Ivy, when she found her she was sorting through a cabinet of vials squinting at the labels on them, Harley panicked, she didn’t know what any of those formulas were and she had no idea what they would do to the other woman if she consumed them right now.</p><p>“Hey baby, come on back to the livin’ room wouldja? You can show me that later.” Ivy turned holding a precarious number of vials in her hands as she did.</p><p>“I just have to find 322, but the fucking numbers keep floating away.” Harley gently and carefully pulled the vials out of her hands and placed them back on the shelf behind her.</p><p>“It’s okay sweetie, why don’t ya just tell me what it does.” Ivy nodded.</p><p>“It gives me superpowers!” Harley chuckled.</p><p>“Ives, ya already got superpowers.”</p><p>“It gives me super superpowers!” Harley laughed again kissing Ivy gently on the lips before grabbing her hand and tugging her back towards the house. Ivy let herself be lead and plopped back on the sofa without argument. Ivy reached her hands out and made a grabbing motion towards Harley, much in the same way a toddler might. Harley laughed and granted Ivy’s unspoken request to lie beside her. Ivy wrapped her arms around Harley and snuggled into her.</p><p>“Harbly? Heh. Harley… what?” Harley smiled.</p><p>“I’m here sweetheart.” Ivy hummed nuzzling into Harley’s shoulder.</p><p>“Do you hear that?”</p><p>“Hear what baby?”</p><p>“My insides, they’re buzzing.”  Harley frowned, turning in Ivy’s arms to press a hand to her stomach.</p><p>“Are ya hungry? Is your stomach growling?” Ivy giggled.</p><p>“Grrr… oop there it goes again. You make my insides buzz. Like a bee, a busy bee.” Harley arched an eyebrow at that.</p><p>“I make your insides buzz?” Ivy nodded.</p><p>“Yep, cause you’re like… like…” Ivy waved her hands around making random gestures for a moment as if that conveyed what she was trying to say. “You know? And I’m all…” More random hand gestures. “And you make my stomach all…” More random hand gestures. “And my heart goes all…” Again, random hand gestures. “And it’s awesome.” Ivy smiled brightly at Harley and Harley couldn’t help but smile back.</p><p>“That’s awful sweet of ya to say Pammy.”</p><p>“You’re sweet… like a… like… um… a spoon.” Harley chuckled.</p><p>“I’m sweet like a spoon?” Ivy nodded resolutely at that and Harley smiled tracing a finger along Ivy’s jaw. Ivy was honestly the cutest person Harley had ever met, which was surprising considering pretty much everyone was terrified of her. But Harley had come to learn that Ivy was just like a coconut, difficult to open up, but soft and sweet once you did. Harley was beyond grateful that she had been the one to crack that nut, being with Ivy was the most wonderful thing that she could have ever dreamed of happening.</p><p> “I love you Pammy.” Ivy smiled and puckered her lips before tapping them twice. Harley laughed and leaned down to kiss Ivy. Ivy sighed happily when they pulled away, her eyes beginning to drift closed. Harley stood and held her hand out to Ivy, Ivy looked up at her sleepily and pouted.</p><p>“Come back.”</p><p>“Let’s go upstairs baby, we can cuddle in bed.” Ivy yawned and reached her hands up to grasp Harley’s allowing herself to be pulled to her feet and lead upstairs to her room. Harley settled her into the bed with very little issue and lay next to her stroking her hair. Ivy mumbled against her shoulder and Harley had to pull back to hear her.</p><p>“Buzzz buzzzz.” Harley chuckled and was about to cuddle her again when she heard the buzzing sound too. Harley listened again and realized the sound was coming from her room. Her phone. Harley looked down at Ivy who was practically asleep and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead.</p><p>“I’ll be right back baby.” Harley walked to her room and picked up her phone fear running through her as she saw the name on her notifications. Joker. Harley opened her phone and gasped at the picture attachment she saw. Joker standing next to Crane with a vial of green liquid in his hands.</p><p>Joker: johnny and i were just wondering how’s that ragweed of yours doing?</p><p>Joker: *laughing emoji laughing emoji laughing emoji laughing emoji*</p><p>Joker: im going to go out on a limb here and guess that shes feeling a bit down in the dumps.</p><p>Joker: *laughing emoji laughing emoji laughing emoji laughing emoji*</p><p>Harley: you said you wouldn’t hurt her</p><p>Joker: and i didn’t dollface johnny on the other hand he didnt promise anything</p><p>Joker: but since im such a nice guy ill give you the antidote to johnnys little toxin and you can nip that little problem in the bud</p><p>Harley: what do you want</p><p>Joker: oh nothing just want to see you puddin its been so long since ive seen you</p><p>Joker: all i have are these pictures of you to remember you by</p><p> </p><p>Joker sent a rapid fire of pictures, all of Harley naked strapped to the table. Harley closed her eyes, tears drifting down her face. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes again reading Joker’s final messages.</p><p> </p><p>Joker: meet me at the hideout 8pm sharp</p><p>Joker: oh and puddin i wouldnt be late your little pussy willow is going to wilt soon</p><p> </p><p>How could she have been so stupid? Of course Joker wouldn’t just stop harassing her, of course she couldn’t just be happy. Though she didn’t deserve happy did she? After betraying Ivy? Poor sweet trusting Ivy? No, Harley didn’t deserve happy, but Ivy did and she wasn’t going to let her stupidity get in the way of that. She had to save Ivy, no matter what.</p><p>Harley heard heavy footsteps coming closer and she quickly pushed her phone in her pocket and wiped her tears away. Ivy popped her head in pouting at Harley.</p><p>“You didn’t come back, I missed you.” Harley smiled but looking at Ivy she couldn’t keep her tears at bay.</p><p>“I’m sorry baby, I got distracted.” Ivy’s eyes widened and she moved towards Harley quickly hugging her tightly.</p><p>“Harley you’re leaking, you don’t have to. I’m okay, I just wanted to hold you, because you’re my fluffy marshmallow. Don’t leak, it’s okay.” Ivy leaned down and kissed Harley’s forehead. Harley smiled weakly at her.</p><p>“It’s okay baby, I’m just washing my eyes.” Ivy looked relieved at that and smiled at her.</p><p>“Okay, that’s good. You should wash your eyes, cause they’re so blue and beautiful and sparkly, so you have to keep them clean.” Ivy nodded resolutely and Harley leaned up to kiss her. Harley kissed her softly, slowly, with as much love as she could, she kissed her like it was the last time she ever would.</p><p>“I love you so much Pamela Isley.” Ivy smiled goofily at her.</p><p>“I love you too Harleen Quinzzzzzel.” Harley led Ivy to the bed and lay down next to her, pulling Ivy’s head to her chest as she stroked the other woman’s hair.</p><p>“Go to sleep sweetheart.” Ivy nuzzled further into Harley her arms wrapping around Harley’s waist as she drifted off to sleep. If Ivy had kept her eyes open just a moment longer she might’ve heard Harley’s watery whisper.</p><p>“I’m so sorry Ives.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Note: I have never taken any hallucinatory drugs so Ivy's high is pretty much just based on either shit I've seen on TV or just ridiculous shit I wanted her to say bc I thought it was funny. lol </p><p>We're nearing the end here guys, any predictions?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. If You Let Go Then That's Where Time Will Stand</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger Warning: Cannon typical violence, character death.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">If You Let Go Then That's Where Time Will Stand</span>
</p><p>
  <em>Hey Pammy,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>If you’re readin’ this it means either ya woke up a lot earlier than I thought or … I didn’t make it back. Turns out Crane was workin’ with Joker, the planet wide pavers was a front, an’ that toxin ya got injected with? That will kill ya if ya don’t get the antidote. I messed up Ives, I gave Joker just what he needed ta hurt ya, I didn’t mean to, but I did. The reason why ain’t important right now, but I gotta go get the cure for ya, I can’t let ya die ‘cause of me. It’s a trap, I know it is, but it don’t matter what he does to me Ives, the only thing that matters is gettin’ what ya need. I love you Ivy, I love you so much, and I hope that no matter what happens you’ll remember that I love you. I’m so sorry Ivy, for everythin’ an’ if ya never forgive me I’ll understand, but I hope ya don’t hate me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>XOXO – Harley</em>
</p><p>
  <em>If I don’t make it back, I gave Frank the address to his hideout, ya gotta get the cure Ives, no matter what. </em>
</p><p>“How long ago did she leave?” <strong><em>Five minutes, max.</em></strong></p><p>Ivy nodded her head still pounding from the poison pumping in her veins. The antidote that she had taken had helped ease some of Ivy’s symptoms, but not all of them and Ivy was still weak from it. “I need you to help me downstairs.” <strong><em>Ivy you’re still- </em></strong></p><p>“No, Frank. I can’t let her do this alone. I won’t, so either you help me, or I do it myself.” <strong><em>Okay. </em></strong></p><p>Frank lifted Ivy and carried her to the lab as she instructed. “Give me 322 and 401.” <strong><em>Ivy, you don’t know what that will do to you.</em></strong></p><p>“I know well enough, just give them to me.” Frank hesitated clearly worried by Ivy’s choices.</p><p>Formula 322 was harmless enough, at least for Ivy it was harmless, for anyone who encountered Ivy? Not so much. It temporarily amplified Ivy’s powers tenfold, the poison that seeped out of her skin would waft around her body like an invisible cloud, anyone within ten feet of her would be infected, which is why she never used the formula. Aside from that it would make Ivy stronger, quicker to heal, able to control more plant life simultaneously, more than that the plant life would be an extension of her, no flicks of her wrist, no explicit instructions, they would just know what she wanted and would act on instinct, like a breath or a blink, Ivy would spare no brain power to control them. </p><p><br/>Formula 401 was a different story. It was almost like a shot of adrenaline, but more potent. Ivy had only used it once before, in a dire situation that she wouldn’t have escaped if not for the boost of energy it gave her. The side effects of Formula 401 were severe, she was sick for weeks, violent shakes, vomiting, searing pain, it was almost like what she imagined going through withdrawal would feel like. And with the poison running through her veins Formula 401 would pump it more quickly, the poison would do much more damage in a shorter span of time. Ivy knew all of these things, but she also knew that even with Formula 322 she was in a severely weakened state, and if push came to shove she might need that boost to save Harley. </p><p>“I promise I won’t take it unless I absolutely have to.” Frank relented and handed the two vials that Ivy requested to her. Ivy downed 322 quickly and shoved 401 into her pocket as she felt the effects of 322 starting to roll through her.</p><p>Ivy felt her skin tingle as a strong flexible bark grew along her flesh, a protective barrier that couldn’t be pierced easily, she felt the flowers bloom from the ends of her hair, each one with their own distinct poison, she felt the thorns itching beneath the flesh of her fingertips, strong as steel and ready to propel outwards at her command, she felt her pores begin to pump the poison out of her in clouds, a poison much stronger and deadlier than the one she usually produced.</p><p>With renewed strength Ivy quickly gathered some supplies and made her way to her car only to be stopped by a firm vine on her wrist. “Frank, I need to do this.” <strong><em>I know, just be careful. I love you Ivy.</em></strong></p><p>“You’re such a fucking sap Frank.” Ivy heard the sad chuckle echo in her head as Frank released her wrist. <strong><em>Fuck you Ivy.</em></strong></p><p>Ivy turned and wrapped him up in a tight embrace. “I love you too Frank.” With that she jumped in her car and sped off. She was going to murder Harley, right after she saved her life.</p><hr/><p>“Ivy.” Her name left Harley’s mouth in a shocked gasp her shock quickly turned to sadness and shame? Ivy couldn’t tell exactly but before she could question it Harley rushed to explain. “I’m so sorry Ives, I just couldn’t tell ya about the video.” Tears were streaking down Harley’s face and she was shivering, Ivy frowned, she had no idea what Harley was talking about but she couldn’t stand to see Harley like this. Ivy pulled Harley into a hug, rubbing her back soothingly.</p><p>“What video?” Harley’s sniffles eased as she looked up confusedly at Ivy.</p><p>“Frank didn’t tell you?”</p><p>“You told Frank about all this but not me?” Ivy couldn’t help but feel hurt by this information, she knew that Frank and Harley had become fast friends, but still Harley was her girlfriend, her best friend, she was supposed to trust Ivy.</p><p>“I didn’t wanna, but he wouldn’t let me leave until I told him, an’ I had ta come Ives, I need ta get you that antidote.” Ivy sighed.</p><p>“Look, I don’t know what video you’re referring to, and I’m upset that you didn’t feel like you could trust me to talk about it, but if you thought for one goddamn minute that I was just going to let you run off and face your psychopathic ex by yourself then you’re fucking crazy. I love you Harley, we do this together or we don’t do it at all.” Harley nodded at that and Ivy made quick work of stripping out of her clothes, with the bark growing all over her skin there was no reason to have them on, and they hampered the spread of her poison.</p><p>“Holy shit Ives, ya look like a fuckin’ goddess!” Ivy growled and covered Harley’s mouth with her hand.</p><p>“Would you stop shouting? We’re trying to be sneaky remember? And also, I’m still really fucking pissed at you right now.” Harley nodded her eyes filling with tears. Ivy sighed removing her hand from Harley’s mouth and stroking her cheek gently. “I love you Harley, I’m just upset, but I love you okay?”</p><p>“…okay…” Ivy pressed a soft kiss to Harley’s lips, looking her in the eyes as she spoke.</p><p>“You’re the love of my life Harley Quinn, nothing will ever change how I feel about you. Not ever, I love you sweet pea.” Harley nodded again.</p><p>“I love you too Ivy, I’m so sorry.” There was a pleading tone in Harley’s voice that Ivy didn’t miss. She wondered for the hundredth time what had caused Harley to give Jack anything. She knew whatever was on that video was to blame, but she couldn’t imagine what could be on it that would send Harley into such a tailspin.</p><p>“I know baby, now we’re going to go in there beat the shit out of your ex-boyfriend, get that antidote and destroy whatever that video is. But when we get home we’re going to have a serious conversation about trust. Got it?” Harley nodded. </p><p>“Good, so what was your plan?” Harley grimaced. “Do you not have a fucking plan?” Harley shrugged.</p><p>“Other than blow shit up? No, not really.” Ivy took a deep breath, she loved Harley. Harley was her favorite person in the whole world, she shouldn’t shout at Harley, no matter how angry she was. Ivy released the breath and spoke as calmly as she could.</p><p>“Okay, when is he expecting you to arrive?”</p><p>“8.”</p><p>“So we have about an hour to figure out what to do.” Harley nodded.</p><p>“Okay, we can work with that. How many entrances are there?” Harley thought for a moment before answering.</p><p>“One in the front, one in the back. On the roof there’s a vent that leads to a crawl space that he doesn’t know about, I used to hide there sometimes when I wanted to get out of his way. Ya can see most of the hideout from there, I was gonna use it to get inside and throw a grenade or two down.” Ivy felt her anger renew, but this time it was directed at someone who actually deserved it: Jack.</p><p>“Is it big enough to fit the both of us?” Harley nodded.</p><p>“It’ll be a tight squeeze but yeah.”</p><p>“Okay, we’ll enter through there, it’s best if they don’t know we’re there until we absolutely need to reveal our positions.” Ivy plucked a flower from her hair. “This is a highly potent version of nightshade, it will render whoever smells or ingests it useless, I want you to hold onto it and use it on whoever you need to. It will make them fall unconscious and die.” Harley nodded and tucked the flower away. Ivy hesitated.</p><p>“Harley, if he gets to you… if he hurts you-“Harley cut her off, understanding where she was heading.</p><p>“Kill him.” Ivy nodded relieved to know that they were on the same page.</p><p>“Okay, good. Now, my body is pumping out a more potent version of the poison that’s usually on my skin, if the hideout is ventilated well enough there should be plenty of time for my poison to spread and infect everyone in there. Depending on what it is that you gave him, Crane could have created an antidote for himself and Jack. But I highly doubt that either of them cares enough about their goons to manufacture enough to give them. So at least they’ll be out of the way.” Harley nodded.</p><p>“They don’t know you’re here so that gives us an edge. Does the poison still let you control people? If we could get one of their cronies to get the antidote for us without Crane or Joker noticing that would be the best option.” Ivy nodded.</p><p>“Yes, that’s a good idea. Now this video,” Harley instantly went rigid at the mention of it. “I don’t need to know what’s on it Harley. You never need to tell me, but whatever is on it scares you, I know that much, we need to get rid of it. So you’ll never have to be scared of it again.” Harley nodded, silent tears tumbling down her cheeks. Ivy gently wiped the tears away and kissed Harley’s forehead.</p><p>“Sweet pea, I know you thought you needed to hide it from me, and it hurts me to know that you felt like you couldn’t come to me about it, but I swear to you I will do everything in my power to make sure you never have to worry about it again. In order to do that we need to make a plan, okay?” Harley nodded resolutely, wiping her residual tears away with the back of her hand.</p><p>“Okay.”</p><hr/><p>Ivy hated the plan. If the plan had a face, she’d punch it, then rip its stupid little head off. She hated it, but she had to admit that it made the most sense out of anything else they came up with. She was to head into the crawl space and let her poison waft into the hide out below, infecting every goon in the vicinity. After which she was to give them their marching orders: “Act as you normally would, try to get the antidote and Joker’s phone, but do not under any circumstances let him figure out something is amiss. When given the signal, attack him, Crane and Punchline. Protect Harley at all costs, listen to any orders she gives. And if you just so happen to survive both the fight and the explosion, you’re going to jump off the dock and let yourself sink.”</p><p>She had no qualms with that portion of the plan, it was the next part that she hated. Since neither Joker nor Crane expected Ivy to be there she was to remain hidden while Harley confronted them. Ivy hated the idea of Harley going in alone, hated the idea that Jack might be able to get to her before Ivy could intervene. But still, she went along with it, she would wait out their evil dialogue, which Harley suspected would run at the very least ten minutes long (“Half the time the bats got away ‘cause that jackass couldn’t stop runnin’ his fat trap long enough ta kill him.”) and if by that time either the phone or the antidote were still in his possession Harley would give the signal, in the chaos that followed Ivy would grab Jack and have a very good time with forcing him to do what she wanted. Harley would detonate a series of bombs that she had planted all around the hideout blasting it wide open and allowing for them to escape in the pandemonium.</p><p>Ivy looked at the clock on the wall, it was 8:10 and just as Harley suspected he was still talking. Ivy rolled her eyes, why were the villains in this town such self-important jackasses? Did she sound like this when she was going after people? God she hoped not.</p><p>“So you see Puddin’ I-“</p><p>“Oh for fucks sake, can ya just get on with it? I know ya ain’t just gonna give me the antidote ‘cause I came down here, tell me what the fuck ya want so I can stop listenin’ to your stupid ass rant!”</p><p>Ivy had to stifle a laugh at Harley’s outburst, she knew that it wasn’t a good idea to antagonize Jack at this point in their plan, but still that shit was funny. Jack growled in response, clearly not happy with being interrupted. Ivy gritted her teeth at the sound, a seed lying behind Jack growing to a sprout, a signal, a message. <em>I’m here, he won’t hurt you.</em> Harley’s lip twitched at its edge and Ivy knew she saw it. Jack, perhaps misinterpreting Harley’s expression let out a wild cackle.</p><p>“That ragweed sure has done a number on you hasn’t she Puddin’? Did she make you think you’re special Harley? We both know that’s not true, you’re nothing but a stupid whore.”</p><p> A rage howled inside of Ivy, vines shot out from her skin, wrapping around her limbs in a tight trembling embrace. They shook with the desire Ivy felt to rip him limb from limb. But Ivy wouldn’t, if she needed to, she would kill Jack, otherwise that honor went to Harley. Still, ripping a couple of fingers off wouldn’t kill him would it? In her rage Ivy missed Jack’s next words, but whatever they were they had shaken Harley. Harley hid it well, but Ivy could see the slight slouch of her shoulders, the tremble of her fists.</p><p>“Ya know what Puddin’?” Harley spat the word out as if it was the foulest thing she’d ever tasted. “I wish ya would, ‘cause then they’d all know what I know.” Jack looked amused.</p><p>“And what’s that Harley?”</p><p>“That Joker’s got a small dick!” Ivy had rolled her eyes when Harley had given that sentence as the signal for the goons to follow, but she had to admit the look on Jack’s face just before all the goons converged on him and the others was priceless. Ivy crashed down from her hiding space and ripped the phone from his hands as he tried to wrestle the goons away. Ivy placed the phone in Harley’s hands. Harley opened it and made quick work of deleting whatever she needed to, factory resetting the phone and batting it clear across the room for good measure. As Harley did this, Ivy deflected a spray of bullets that Punchline sent their way.</p><p>“Get the vial, I’ll take care of her.” Harley nodded and flipped gracefully in the air landing beside Joker who had just finished fending off another attacker. Ivy shot a spattering of thorns in Punchline’s direction, catching the other woman off guard as Ivy ripped the gun from her hands. Punchline howled in pain as she tried desperately to remove the thorns already digging themselves deeper into her flesh.</p><p>A dart whizzed by Ivy’s head and she spun on her heel grabbing Crane tightly by the neck. “Looks like your depth perception is off, how’s your eye doing?” Ivy flung him effortlessly at Punchline and they fell in a heap, Ivy swiftly wrapping them tightly in a set of vines. She could have killed them of course, but she had promised Harley that when they found out who was in charge of Planetwide Pavers that she’d let Harley blow them up, and Ivy liked to keep her promises.</p><p>Ivy turned in time to see Harley seconds away from crushing Jack’s skull with her bat. “It’s on the cloud!” Harley stilled her motion.</p><p>“What the fuck does that mean?” Jack started howling with laughter and Ivy could feel her energy waning, they needed to get this done quickly and Jack being cryptic wasn’t going to help. Ivy marched over to where they were and without preamble broke two of Jack’s fingers. His grating laughter turned to a screech of pain.</p><p>“Answer her question dickhead, or I rip them off.”</p><p>“God you’re sexy when you’re angry.” Ivy chuckled, despite the dire situation Harley could still make her laugh.</p><p>“Babe, head in the game.” Harley nodded.</p><p>“Right, sorry.” Harley hammered her bat into Jack’s knee a satisfying crutch filling the air. “What the fuck do you mean?”</p><p>“The video, it’s on the cloud. It doesn’t matter if you destroyed my phone, it’s still out there. And if you kill me you’ll never get rid of it.” Another peel of laughter left Jack’s lips and just to shut him up Ivy broke another finger.</p><p>“If we kill him he can’t do anything with the video,” Ivy reasoned but Harley still looked worried.</p><p>“But it will still be out there Ives, I just…” Ivy nodded.</p><p>“Okay, we’ll fix it peanut, don’t worry.” Ivy turned back to Jack who was cradling his injured hand against his body. Ivy grew a sprig of mistletoe out of her palm, plucking it out quickly, and ignoring the searing pain that spread through her arm as a result. She held it above Jack’s head.</p><p>“Do you know what this is Jack? Phoradendron leucarpum, or mistletoe. You know a lot of people don’t know this about mistletoe, but it’s actually a parasitic plant, latches onto its host and slowly drains its nutrients and water. All it needs to do is get one of its tiny little seeds on the host, and just like that.” Ivy snapped her fingers, the sound causing Jack to flinch. “It’s over for the host.”</p><p>“Now this guy, he’s a little different, because I grew him, and you know I like to personalize my plants, this guy can attach himself to a human host. Isn’t that interesting Jack?” Jack said nothing but Ivy saw his eyes zeroing in on the berries hovering above his head. “If you don’t give Harley the information she needs to can delete whatever files she wants, I’m going to shove this up your ass, and it’s going to take root and gradually drain your life out of you, all the while growing branches inside of you, ripping you apart slowly and painfully.”</p><p> Jack was seething, his teeth grit in pain and anger as he stared up at Ivy, but he said nothing. His furious glare holding onto Ivy’s calm expression for several seconds. After a few moments Ivy nodded and turned to Harley. “Okay, I really didn’t want to have to see this, but take off his pants.” Harley nodded and skipped forward reaching for his belt as Jack tried to chuckle lightly.</p><p>“Ladies, ladies, can’t you take a joke? Of course I’ll tell you what you need to know, there’s no need to be hasty. Just help me up and we’ll destroy whatever you want.”</p><p>“Yeah no, just give her the login information.” Jack held up his hands in a placating motion.</p><p>“You know I would, but I can never remember all those passwords. I have it hidden somewhere for safe keeping.”</p><p>“Bullshit.” Jack looked to Harley.</p><p>“Come on Puddin’ you know it’s true, how many times have I asked you for the wifi password?” Harley sighed.</p><p>“He’s probably telling the truth, he can’t remember shit.” Ivy rolled her eyes quickly wrapping Jack up in a tight vine, squeezing him painfully just for good measure. She placed the sprig of mistletoe between Crane and Punchline.</p><p>“I wouldn’t move if I were you, those mistletoe berries are really sticky and hard to get off.” Both villains looked at the precariously perched sprig with wide eyes, clearly not wanting to meet the fate that Ivy had so vividly described. “All right, where to?”</p><p>Harley directed them to Jack’s office and Ivy grimaced at the state of it. The place was an absolute pigsty, and good God what was that smell? “Oh my god did it stink this much when you lived here or does this jackass just not know how to clean up after himself?” Harley chuckled.</p><p>“A little of both, it stunk, but definitely not this much.” Ivy threw Jack down into a chair wrapping a vine around him to keep him there as she instructed Harley on where to find the information she needed. For Harley’s benefit Ivy turned to face the wall as she searched through the files to find what she wanted to find.</p><p>“Aren’t you just a little bit curious about what’s got our little Harley so out of sorts?”</p><p>“She’s not <em>our</em> little anything. She’s her own goddamn person, and if she wants to tell me she will. I don’t give a shit either way.”</p><p>“You don’t want to mmfph-,“ without turning around Ivy wrapped a vine around Jack’s open mouth gagging him in the process.  A few minutes later she heard Harley breathe a sigh of relief.</p><p>“All done, now he ain’t got zilch on me.” Ivy turned around to face Harley again.</p><p>“Okay, well what do you want to do with him?”</p><p>“That mistletoe thing sounded pretty good to me.” Ivy smirked.</p><p>“Yeah that was bullshit, it was regular mistletoe. I mean it still would’ve hurt like hell when I shoved it up his ass but it wouldn’t have killed him.” Harley let out a surprised bark of laughter at that.</p><p>“Holy shit Ives! Ya got a helluva poker face!” Ivy was about to respond when a flash of something out of the corner of her eye caught her attention, she turned a second too late as the dart released from the gun and lodged itself in Harley’s leg. Ivy knocked the gun out of Jack’s hand but he laughed menacingly against the gag in his mouth. Ivy ripped the vine out of his mouth and slammed her fist into his face with sickening force. His head snapped back and he choked on his laughter.</p><p>“What the fuck was that?” A twinkle lit up his eye even as blood rushed down his face.</p><p>“The same poison that you got, except this one works faster. I’d say she’s got about three hours before she’s pushing up daises.” Jack laughed again, turning his attention to Harley who was starting to look weaker by the second. “Let’s see how much your little ragweed loves you Puddin’, there’s only enough of the antidote for one of you. Do you think she’ll give up her little crusade to save the earth so that you can live?” Jack pulled his head back and laughed harder.</p><p>Harley stood and took the flower she had tucked away and shoved it down his throat. Jack twitched and went still. Harley watched his lifeless face for a second more before turning her teary gaze on Ivy. Ivy rushed to her wrapping her arms around her in a tight embrace.</p><p>“Hey, hey it’s okay baby, I’m a fucking biochemist, I can use the antidote we have to whip up a new one in no time, we’ll be fine, I promise.” Ivy was lying, three hours wasn’t enough time to figure out the components that made up the antidote, let alone synthesize a new one. But Harley didn’t need to know that, all Harley needed to know was that she was safe and she was going to be okay.</p><hr/><p>“Ives, are ya sure?” Ivy nodded but Harley still hesitated.</p><p>“Yes baby, all I need is a drop to figure out what’s in it, so please drink that. I won’t be able to concentrate unless I know you’re safe.” Harley finally relented and drank the antidote grimacing at the taste.</p><p>“Like a garden shit in your mouth?” Harley shook her head.</p><p>“Garden shit woulda tasted better than this.” Ivy chuckled.</p><p>“Great, well I have that to look forward to.” Harley smiled then her face fell. Ivy lay down next to Harley on the bed and pulled her closer. “It’s okay baby.” Harley sniffled against her shoulder.</p><p>“I lied to you Ives, I betrayed you.” Ivy pulled away and looked into Harley’s watery blue eyes.</p><p>“Harley I am so happy that you’re okay that I honestly don’t give a rat’s ass about any of that. We’ll talk about it later. Right now, I just want to hold you and kiss you, is that okay?” Harley nodded and leaned forward to kiss Ivy gently. Ivy returned the kiss as tenderly as she could, wanting Harley to know just how much Ivy cared for her. When they pulled back Ivy knew her own eyes were glassy with unshed tears and Harley stroked her cheek.</p><p>“Pammy?”</p><p>“I’m okay Harley, I’m just so relieved that you’re okay, I was so worried about you.” Harley frowned but before she could respond her eyes glazed over and Ivy knew the antidote was kicking in. Ivy leaned forward and kissed Harley again and when she pulled back Harley had a dopey grin on her face.</p><p>“mmm Dr. Isley are ya gonna take care of me?” Ivy nodded sadly.</p><p>“Always my love.”<br/><br/></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay, okay okay... here's the thing... I'm sorry? *runs away*</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Going Out with a Bang</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>No trigger warnings for this chapter, but as always if you see something say something.</p><p>This is the last one you guys. I'm honestly a little bit sad to end it, but I'm happy to have shared it with all of you. Thank you all for reading, commenting, kudoing (???), and bookmarking. I appreciate it all, and I appreciate you all.</p><p>As always, thank you for reading, and stay well.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">Going Out with a Bang</span>
</p><p>Harley carefully measured out the water she needed, taking care to only pour it on the areas that Frank had indicated to. Caring for Ivy’s plants was hard work, Frank helped as much as he could, but Harley knew that even with both of them doting on the plants they were no match for how Ivy would have cared for them. After making the rounds in the greenhouse, Harley plopped down onto Ivy’s chair waving Frank off as she did so. “Thanks Franko, you can go relax if ya want, I’m just gonna stay here for a bit.” The vines hesitated for a moment before shaking their assent and leaving the greenhouse.</p><p>Harley trailed her fingers lightly over the microscope on Ivy’s workstation. “I bet ya miss her don’t ya? She used ta sit here every day twiddlin’ your nobs, pressin’ her beautiful eyes to your lens, must be awful lonely in here without her.” As she spoke Harley pulled the microscope closer to her, its metal base scraping along the desk and revealing a line of dark green that was previously hidden from view, Ivy’s blood. Harley pulled in a sharp breath at the sight, her mind flashing back to that horrible day that she found Ivy.</p><p>
  <strong>||||||[Flashback]||||||</strong>
</p><p>Frank ripped her from her drug induced sleep and carried her with alarming speed to Ivy’s lab. Harley’s half-awake state lingered only until she saw the other woman, and at once she was awake and rushing to Ivy’s side. Ivy was lying face down in front of her workstation, convulsing as her deep green blood flowed out of her mouth. Harley cradled Ivy’s head in her hands as she whipped around to face Crane, who Ivy had insisted on bringing back with them (“So you have something to blow up to celebrate.”) the man winced in the face of her anger.</p><p>“What the fuck happened?!”</p><p>
  <strong>||||||[End Flashback]||||||</strong>
</p><p>As it turned out what fucking happened was that Ivy had not been holding up as well as she had been pretending, and despite what she had told Harley she couldn’t figure out the ingredients to duplicate the antidote quick enough, especially not with the minute amount of the liquid she had taken out of the vial. She had lied to Harley so that Harley would take the antidote, knowing that by doing so she lost any hope she could have of figuring out the exact mix of things she needed on her own. So Ivy had tortured Crane until he told her exactly what she needed to do, but she was weak, the poison had been in her blood for so long, and she wouldn’t have finished it in time unless she did something drastic.</p><p>Formula 401 was the something drastic, with the rush of adrenaline it gave her Ivy finished the antidote in record time, but when she drank it she crashed into her desk with a series of wild convulsions. Crane had insisted that he had told her exactly how to make the antidote, that it wasn’t his fault. (“There’s too many things running through her system, she just can’t handle them all at once.”)</p><p>Harley had called upon her medical training from a lifetime ago and quickly rushed around the lab gathering everything she needed to set up a direct blood transfusion. Harley gave Ivy a pint of blood a day for a week, it wasn’t ideal, Harley had been so weak from the transfusions that Frank had to carry her around, but it had helped. Ivy, while not in the best of conditions, was alive. Harley had sworn that the minute Ivy felt better she would rub it in her face. (“Come on Ives, I’m O- the universal donor, you’re AB+ the universal receiver? That’s gotta be proof that this is fate!”)</p><p>Harley heard a crash from inside the house and she shot up from the chair and rushed in to find Ivy sheepishly looking up at her from the floor by the stairs. Harley raced over to her and helped her up, walking her to the sofa before settling her in and chiding her.</p><p>“What’re ya doin’ Red?! Ya coulda hurt yourself!” Ivy grumbled in response.</p><p>“I am perfectly capable of walking down the stairs by myself Harleen.” Harley rolled her eyes, she loved Ivy, but damn was she stubborn.</p><p>“What did we talk about Ives?” Ivy huffed out an annoyed breath before mumbling her answer.</p><p>“That I need to learn to ask when I need help.” Harley nodded.</p><p>“Yeah, an’ what else?”</p><p>“That you love me and I should trust you enough to be vulnerable in front of you.” Harley nodded again, this time softening her expression and placing a gentle kiss on Ivy’s lips before speaking.</p><p>“I do love ya Pammy, an’ I really just want ya to be okay. Please just let me help ya.” Ivy nodded.</p><p>“Okay… I’m sorry. I just hate having to ask you for everything, I feel so useless.” Harley sighed and sat herself on Ivy’s lap, running her fingers through Ivy’s hair. Ivy rested her head on Harley’s chest, easing into the touch.</p><p>This was not the first time they had had this conversation. It had been three weeks since Harley had found Ivy in her lab, and Ivy was recovering, but it was slow going, and most days Ivy felt too weak to do much without Harley’s assistance. Harley didn’t mind helping Ivy, not even a little bit, but Ivy felt terrible for needing so much help. She had been independent for so long, for so much of her life that relying on another person wasn’t easy for her.</p><p>Harley had understood this, but about a week in they had a blowout. It wasn’t just Ivy’s stubbornness, it was everything, Harley’s betrayal, Ivy’s lie, the pain they both felt, the guilt. It all came to a head and exploded at once, there was yelling, crying, some laughing, and eventually forgiveness. They forgave each other for everything, with the caveat that they would never put each other through that again, and that they would try harder to communicate their feelings to one another.</p><p>Harley had even told Ivy about the video, true to her word, Ivy hadn’t asked, hadn’t pressured Harley to talk about it, but Harley wanted Ivy to know. She needed Ivy to know, and of all the things that Harley had expected in reaction to it: anger, disgust, pity; Ivy hadn’t delivered. Instead she apologized (“I’m so sorry Harley, if I had known, I never would have gotten angry with you baby. I’m so sorry.”) she told Harley that if it had been her, if someone had a video of Jason doing it to her, she knew she would have reacted in the same way Harley had, and she couldn’t fault Harley for that. Still Harley refused her apology, knowing that she too would have reacted in the same way if Ivy had done to her what she did to Ivy.</p><p>They agreed that perhaps instead of making apologies, they should make promises and Ivy being the organized nerd that she was had written them down in a sort of contract that Harley had chuckled at before signing.</p><p>(1) I promise to ask for help when I need it. (2) I promise to remember that you love me. (3) I promise to trust you, with everything, not just the good stuff, the hard stuff too. (4) I promise to be worthy of that trust. (5) I promise to be patient when things are hard for you. (6) I promise not to tell Frank about our sex life. (7) I promise to stop and breathe before I react. (8) I promise to tell you when something bothers me. (9) I promise not to roll my eyes when you’re trying to be romantic. (10) I promise that when I break one these promises, I will try my best to make it up to you, and try my hardest not to do it again.</p><p>The parties, by their signatures below, acknowledge having read this agreement, understanding it, and agree to be bound by its terms and conditions.</p><p>If either party violates any of the conditions of this agreement the wronged party is entitled to restitution by way of any or all of the following means: (a) kisses, (b) cuddles, (c) snacks, (d) presents and/or (e) sexual favors.</p><p>The contract, while a joke, did reflect the needs and weaknesses of the two women, and they did strive to abide by it in order to be better partners to each other. And while at the Ivy had clearly violated the first term of their agreement, Harley couldn’t fault her, she knew that this experience was particularly hard for her. Being weak, unable to do things for herself, it reminded her of the months she spent sick and drugged under Jason’s abuse. Harley knew that, so she would wait to collect on her snacks and cuddles until after Ivy was feeling better.</p><p>“You know why you’ll never be useless Pammy?” Ivy looked up at Harley.</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“’Cause ya do so much for me all the time.” Ivy looked unconvinced and Harley continued. “Ya make me smile, an’ ya make me laugh, ya cuddle me an’ keep me warm at night, ya listen to me even when ya have no idea what I’m talkin’ about, ya make me feel safe an’ loved, ya kiss me…” Harley placed a chaste kiss on Ivy’s now smiling lips before continuing. “an’ ya know what else?”</p><p>Ivy quirked an eyebrow, “what?”</p><p>Harley kissed Ivy’s neck and whispered in her ear, “Even when you’re injured you can still make me cum harder than I’ve ever cum before. Your fingers sure aren’t useless, neither is that talented tongue of yours.” When Harley pulled back Ivy was blushing from her hairline to her neck and Harley chuckled.</p><p>“That’s um… that’s nice to hear… thank you.” Harley smiled brightly.</p><p>“You’re welcome hot stuff, now how’s about I take ya outside for some fun in the sun? Ya always feel better afterwards.”</p><p>Ivy nodded at let herself be lead outside where Harley helped her lay out on a patch of soft grass. The sun had a healing effect on Ivy, after lying under its rays Ivy would always feel a little better. Ivy had explained to Harley that this was due to the chlorophyll in her skin, and while Harley had understood the science, she couldn’t help but feel like there was something magical about Ivy. Or maybe that was just the kind of thing that people thought when they finally found true love.</p><hr/>
<hr/><p>Ivy watched as Harley did another backflip, her agility never failing to impress Ivy. It was about two months since their whole debacle with Jack and Crane, and Ivy was feeling multitudes better. She knew that she owed every bit of that to the woman currently flipping around her garden with ease. Ivy had been prepared to give up her life for Harley, she had fought of course to survive, but she had been willing to do anything to make sure Harley lived.</p><p>As it turned out Harley had felt similarly, and had worked tirelessly to help Ivy recover. After a week of blood transfusions that left both herself and Harley weakened, Ivy was able to move about. It was a slow process to heal fully, and some days Ivy still felt a bit more fatigue than normal, but she was well and it was due in no small part to Harley.</p><p>Those first weeks had been hard, their edges frayed, emotions raw, and bodies weak, they fought quite a bit, but they had emerged from that stronger. Ivy felt endlessly grateful for Harley, who despite being ridiculously impulsive was also infinitely patient, a quality that Ivy had needed during her recovery. She hadn’t been the easiest person to be around during that time, but Harley had been patient, loving, and so annoyingly charming that Ivy could never stay grumpy for long.</p><p>It was strange to Ivy that they’d only been together for just over two months, the trials and tribulations, the triumphs and delights, the whirlwind of emotion that was born of their pasts and their present, all of it made it feel as if they’d spent a whole lifetime together. Still as Ivy watched her girlfriend giggle and jump around she knew that she would willingly spend a million more lifetimes with Harley.</p><p> “Ives?”</p><p>“Yes Harley?”</p><p>“Wouldja put on some music?” Ivy nodded and reached for her phone pulling up her Spotify and scrolling through searching for something to play. She and Harley didn’t have very much in common when it came to musical taste so it was a struggle to find something. Then a grin popped up on her face when she thought of something, she quickly found the song and she put the volume up on her speaker before pressing play. At the first chords of the song Harley looked up at her from her handstand with an amused question in her eyes. Ivy just smiled in return perching her head on her arm waiting for the right moment in the song before singing along and changing just a few of the words.</p><p>“Oh Harleen?” Harley giggled but played along.</p><p>“Yes Ivy?”</p><p>“How do you call your lover girl?” Harley flipped out of her hand stand and responded, crooking her finger at Ivy.</p><p>“Come here lover girl.” Ivy grinned as Harley danced away.</p><p>“And if she doesn’t answer?”</p><p>Harley pushed her chest out, pouting as she crooned softly in response, “Oh lover girl.”</p><p>Ivy got up on her hands and knees and crawled towards Harley, “And if she still doesn’t answer?”</p><p>“I simply say, baby,” As she sang the words Harley got on her hands and knees and crawled towards Ivy, Ivy smiled and moved towards Harley as she continued. “Oh baby,” Ivy did her best air guitar as Harley reached her, “My sweet baby,” Harley cupped her hands on Ivy’s face, “You’re the one.”</p><p>Ivy pressed a gentle kiss to her lips as she stood pulling Harley with her. Harley giggled and swayed with Ivy to the song. “I knew ya liked the movie.” Ivy chuckled, they’d just watched Dirty Dancing the night before and Harley had insisted that this was the most romantic scene of the movie. (Of course she had said that at least three other times during the movie, but Ivy didn’t point that out.)</p><p>“Yes, I did enjoy it, especially when you sang along to all the songs.” Harley smiled.</p><p>“Yeah?” Ivy nodded, spinning Harley before pulling her back. Harley giggled. “Ooh Pammy, you’re a real good dancer.” Ivy chuckled.</p><p>“Yes, well I should hope so, I took dance classes for about ten years when I was younger.” Ivy dipped Harley and wiggled her eyebrows at the other woman. Harley chuckled and quickly pulled Ivy down for a kiss, the sudden motion however pulled them both off balance and they fell to the ground in a fit of laughter. “Well that never happened with Madame Francesca.” Harley laughed.</p><p>“Pammy?”</p><p>“Yes my love?”</p><p>“Wouldja go on another date with me tonight?” Ivy smiled and kissed Harley.</p><p>“Of course baby, where do you want to go?” Harley worried her lip between her teeth nervously.</p><p>“Well there’s a drive in a town over, an’ they’re playin’ Hope Floats, an’ it’s a real romantic movie… I know it ain’t real fancy or nothin’ but-“ Ivy cut her off with a kiss and when she pulled away she smiled at Harley.</p><p>“I would love to go with you to a drive in movie Harley, I’ve never been to one before, it sounds wonderful.” Harley smiled brightly at that.</p><p>“Yeah?” Ivy nodded and Harley pushed Ivy back so she could straddle Ivy’s hips.</p><p>Ivy rested her hands on Harley’s thighs, stroking softly as Harley listed all the things she had to prepare before they went, all the things Ivy should know, and what snacks they should get. Ivy just nodded along amused and enamored by the woman sitting on top of her. Ivy knew that Harley could ask for just about anything she wanted from Ivy and Ivy would try her hardest to give it to her because as cheesy as it was to say, Harley was the love of her life, and while it was extremely out of character for Ivy, she would always be immensely grateful to whomever had thrown out that tiny purple chrysanthemum and brought this beautiful and chaotic ball of energy into her life.</p><p>Harley stopped talking mid-sentence shooting Ivy a questioning look. “Why are ya lookin’ at me like that? Do I got somethin’ on my face?” Ivy shook her head.</p><p>“Nope, I was just thinking about how beautiful you are and how much I love you.” A blush colored Harley’s cheeks as she smiled brightly at Ivy.</p><p>“I love you too baby.” Harley kissed Ivy gently, “and that’s why I’m gonna make good on that deal we had a coupla months ago.” Ivy quirked her head to the side in question.</p><p>“What deal?”</p><p>“I think I remember tellin’ ya if our first date went well I’d wear somethin’ special for ya on our second date.” Ivy thought for a few moments before realization dawned on her and a flush colored her cheeks.</p><p>“Oh my God, is that why you want to go to the drive in?”</p><p>“Yeah, I mean come on Ives, that’s what I call goin’ out with a bang.” Ivy shot her a confused look and Harley continued undeterred.</p><p>“Yunno, cause we’re goin’ out, an’ we’re gonna bang?” Harley wiggled her eyebrows at Ivy and Ivy chuckled.</p><p>“You’re absolutely incorrigible.”</p><p>“Yeah, and ya love me anyway.”</p><p>“And I always will peanut.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If you're wondering what scene I'm referring to at the end: <a>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxCDAs3kbAU</a></p><p>And if you're wondering what promise Harley's talking about, there's a certain item of clothing that Ivy really liked in chapter 17, I'll give you a hint, it starts with H and rhymes with Barness. </p><p>Also, I am completely aware of what those contract promises sound like, and perhaps I did that on purpose, lol. </p><p>Thank you guys again for reading, I hope some of you come back when I start posting my next fic. Dueces.</p>
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